Teenage Boys and Sleepovers

My nephew is like this, but they know what they can handle. Remember these are kids that have a lot of energy, lots!

They get up early take the boat out, go skiing all day, than do these sleep overs at night.. And the continue over and over.

He is the quarterback this year and has lots of strength training every morning, goes to the lake all day and then goes out for a few hours at night..all of this time eating the largest quantities of food you can imagine. And then he makes sure he gets enough sleep.

Mention to them you are wondering about the amount of actual sleep they are getting. During the summer there are lots more sleep overs even when he was on select teams and traveling around the country, all of that swimming in the hotel pools having to catch sleep in vans and cars. Just by mentioning it to your son, will give your son something to consider.

But mom, he is now old enough to decide his priorities and take the consequences. You can state your observations, your opinions, and your concerns, but it is time for him to make these choices and then learn his limits.

If this is the worst thing you are worried about, you have done an excellent job as a parent.

I say it's great, healthy fun!

The most important thing......you all know where your kids are: safe & sound right in your own home or your friends' home!!

Especially if they aren't having to get up super early for school the next day. I would just be a little concerned if they could injure themselves while at weight lifting class the next morning if they are sleep deprived.

I wouldn't want to have him excluded. High school is an important time for friendship development. I would worry that if I didn't let him go that they would develop a closer-knit friendship & exclude him. At this age, academics take priority then it's freinds & sports. They will never again have this type of friendship & comaraderie (sp?).

I say as long as it doesn't affect their academics to let them have some fun.

As a male, please let them hang out.

Limiting his time will likely result in your son being viewed as weak.

Those friendships can last a lifetime, which is much more important than some lost sleep.

I have two teenagers. I think that they sleep in their own beds, alone, maybe 2-3 times a week during the summer and on weekends during the school year, there's usually someone sleeping over our house or they're at someone else's house. I think it's normal and healthy. I do expect them to adhere to their morning obligations (if they have any) so I find that they usually are all asleep by midnight. My teenage son also plays hockey so during the season, he does have less of a social life overall because of early morning or late night games on the weekends so I do try to let him have more leeway during the 4 non-hockey months of the year.

Let them hang out...they're only young once.

Umm... according to my teenage "sources"... boys "crash at eachothers houses". They do NOT have sleepovers!

Very normal and it's the summer! In two years he will be in college and he'll learn all about sleep deprivation. He's 16, not 6. Let him have some fun while you're still able to supervise!

The timing of this is amazing as I'm having 3 teenage boys (13) at my house tonight after basketball. I know there won't be a lot of sleep and I promised to take them to the beach tomorrow. My son has grown 4 inches since Christmas and seems to get out of bed each day looking taller than when he went to bed.

I aggree with the sleep deprivation issue. The kids go and go and go these days. When I was growing up the ballgames were always pick-up based on the bored kids in the neighborhood. Now my street is like a ghost-town as every kid on my block (there are 4 boys ages 13&14 and many younger ones) is at some camp. They can't sleep late anymore, they stay up playing 2box all night...
I am the mean mom in the group and I often will call the others moms ahead of time and we try to figure out what will work best. Fortunatley most of the moms think similarly as I do and we try to limite the sleepovers to nights when they can sleep in the next day. But it doesn't always work that way. I also establish a reasonalbe lights-out/videogame-off time. I've been known to set my alarm at 2:00 to wake up and make sure they've turned it all off and the lights are out. I've removed computers & remote controls too.
I'm getting tired thinking about tonight!
I'd suggest you call the other moms - I wouldn't be surprised if they feel like you do. If you present a united front there's not much they can do. But ultiamtely - you are the one responsible for your kid. They may get mad at us but when they've caught up on their sleep there will be tiny part of them that's happy for your unpopular postion. We are not in this for popularity!!

My boys have sleepovers - they are 10 & 12. They have "marathon" XBOX parties....however - NOT on a night before a game or a class. kinda like during the school year - no sleepovers on a school night.

I would keep it to one to two a week and set rules. it's OKAY to have rules. Even at 16. I'd rather them be in the basement playing XBOX than out on the streets getting into trouble.

Have you approached any of the other parents with your concerns regarding sleep? If that is truly the concern, then perhaps they have the same concern as well, and no one feels like it (by itself) warrants calling off all the rest. Maybe if everyone is aware of the issue, but doesn't want to be the "mean" mom, every mom can try to strategically encourage an earlier lights out, when the kids are at their home.

Just a thought.

I dont have any teenagers but I remember my brother and I constantly having friends over or being at anothers persons house during the summer. From my husbands stories as a teenager they were ALWAYS at somebodys house or hanging out late into the night (they were up to no good!). The sleep deprivation is a bummer, but I think it is totally normal. Maybe he can take some naps during the day when he does not have any sports since he will most likely be up late? As a teenager it is sad to be left out especially if they are good kids and are not up to anything bad.

Yes, this is typical for social boys. Unfortunately, many kids don't get enough sleep these days. But during the summer, no, don't limit it, your son sounds like an active and good kid. Let him have his fun.

Ditto everything said by Theresa N, so true!!!

Multiple times in a given week would be too much for my son or my liking.
There's such a thing as wearing out one's welcome.
Yeah teens and even young 20's will burn their candles at both ends but they can save SOME of it for college.
Once a week is plenty of time for hanging out during the summer.

I don't let my children participate in any sleepovers, but I'm probably on the extreme side of that. I have way too many grown friends who have had tramatic experiences due to somebody's relative (uncle/cousin/brother/sister) doing something to them (if you know what I mean). I just don't chance it. You should do what you think is best for your son and if you see that it is affecting his health, it doesn't really matter what is going on with the other boys. Hope this helps.