Teaching Young Kids Santa Not Real

My 5 yo son thinks that Santa is a load of bull anyway. He has never come right out and said he didn't believe, but he questions everything about it. We simply say " Well, the story of Santa goes like this..." After we explain the story of Santa, he just said the whole thing is silly. He has no interest in seeing Santa. He has no interest in any part of Santa. So, we just let it go and remain neutral, neither confirming or denying anything. Hopefully, he won't ruin it for other kids. lol

You do what you think is best for your children and family.

I loved thinking Santa was real and that there was magic in the world.
I also loved when I figured it out on my own. I was excited to know the grown up secret and to be able to help my parents be Santa for my little sister.

It breaks my heart when other children that know the truth, but do not keep the secret. It seems like each child should be able to figure it out on their own time or their parents should be the ones to tell.

Our neighbors don't do Santa either. We are extremely close to them. She explained to her kids that it's a story based on St. Nicohas and some families choose to believe in him. She mentioned that he is special to a lot of children and they should not reveal that he isn't real, because it may make their friends sad. After the initial discussion it's really been a non issue. They KNOW he isn't real, but the family still pretends. "Oh look what Santa brought you...etc." So even though they know it and don't buy into it, they pretend a bit with it too. For them, it's no different than Chuck E Cheese. Their kids absolutely realize there isn't a six foot mouse walking around a pizza place, but they go with it just the same. Her daughter did tell my son once that Santa wasn't real. We handled it by simply telling him that Santa only visits those who believe. And since the neighbors don't believe in him, he doesn't stop by. It hasn't been a big deal. You will have to deal with people being judgmental about your choices. My neighbor simply takes it with a grain of salt.

Well, in our house Santa IS real.

That's what I tell my kids when other little ones tell them Santa isn't real. We've been dealing with this with my oldest, who is 8, and one of her friends decided to tell my 4 year old! UGH! He is too young to not believe (in my view). So I immediately stopped that conversation by telling her and my two that were with me that Santa is real if you believe in him. In our house, we believe. In her house they don't. Neither way is right or wrong, but WE BELIEVE.

I don't know why you need to tell them he's not real. My kids (who do believe) see Santa's all over and know it's not the real one. We tell them that those Santa's are helpers, and that's all. They don't ask any more questions. So maybe you can go that route?

I think to each his own. If you don't want to have the Santa tradition in your family then don't. Sounds like you are going about it in a good way. In my house Santa is real. It is not a "lie" since you can find him in the history books, it's just that we act in spirit as him now. When my kids asked if Santa was real I could always answer yes. Then came the day where they asked if I or my husband was Santa and I would look at them, laugh and say guess I do need to lose a little weight or something silly. We still keep it going for my older kids (19,16,14) and it's more of a game but I never ever felt I was lying to my kids. Oh, and your kids will tell other kids, just the way it is, not good or bad.

What a great question for me! And for my family!

We look at it this way. We teach our children not to lie, for ANY reason...including no "white" lies...because God does NOT want us to lie. So have we EVER endorsed Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, etc? No, because then we are hypocrites, lying to our children.

We have always approached it as, "There's no such thing. People can tell stories about it and do what they wish, but WE know it's not real." Does that mean we don't enjoy the occasional story about Santa? No...we watch holiday cartoons, etc...but they're just that...cartoons. Not based on fact. Just like monsters, fairies, etc...not real.

We do give gifts...from us...and we celebrate holidays for the reason they are there...the birth of Christ, and the death and resurrection of Christ. I don't believe our children are missing out on anything...in fact, I think they appreciate the holidays even more.

We do the same thing. We told them the story behind Santa and we let them know that he isn't real and doesn't really sneak in and give toys etc. We also told them not to tell kids who really believe. I don't want them to lie to other kids but I say just don't say anything. Of course, I still had my neighbor get upset that they were spilling the beans. We don't do the toothfairy or easter bunny either. I do put money under their pillows but they know it's from us. If I forget, they'll come asking for money...LOL

Our Christmas's are wonderful and special even without "Santa." My mom did the same thing for us. She said that she didn't want us to ever question if God was real. She wanted to be straight and upfront with us so she never pushed the Santa thing but told us the truth. We had wonderful Christmas's growing up. I think the truth is always the best. Santa doesn't make magical Christmas memories, family does. =)

Girl, I want to warn you that people on here will be uncommonly judgemental and hateful because of your choice. You sound like you have a good handle on things, but I want to add to protect your children from the Santa crazies that will literally attack your children (mostly verbally, but once a store employee at Lowes shoved the cart my children were in when my son told her that he didn't believe in Santa- if I hadn't been holding it, the cart would have tipped over).

We teach about St. Nicolas. My kids pretend about Santa and our Christmas is no less "magical" than anyone else's.

I wish I had more advice, but I just wanted to comment so you would know that the entire world isn't against you! :) Just beware that it makes the normally sane people go nuts and nasty when you mention that you don't "do" Santa.

Best of luck!

edit* Kim L. I am sorry, but I have to call a foul on your post. How can you say that just because people don't teach their kids to believe that Santa isn't real, that they don't allow imagination, make believe or creativity? You can't be more wrong. I hope you are able to see that you aren't playing devil's advocate in this situation, but making a snap judgement on something you don't understand.

I hate to sound brutal, but so what if your kids tell other kids that there is no Santa? Kids say all kinds of things to other kids all the time. If those parents are so hellbent on their kids believing, they'll re-emphasize it. That's how it goes with other things that kids tell other kids. I would not invite any stress over whether or not my kid goes out spreading the word. He's not standing in the pulpit doing it, right? Teach him what you want him to know, and let him manage his own harmless conversations. The worst that can happen is that some parent is forced to address this issue with his kid. So what? They can then tell them what they want them to know, as with everything else.

Let me add that I never believed in Santa, and I STILL believe in magic. Go figure.

Santa is based on a real person(s) - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

I like to tell my daughter what kind of man "Santa" was and his purpose which I interpret to be his generous love to all and the gift of giving (doesn't have to be material - just the act of giving love, affection, laughter, happiness, etc).

Honestly I don't know why people think it's so black and white - either you believe or don't. The many versions of his character seem to have the best of intentions no matter what culture or religion you practice.

i mean it should be your family's choice. I like childhood to be as mesmerizing as possible, considering it doesn't last long. You are right about being careful not to ruin it for other children, whose parents do allow them to believe in Santa. My kids are 7 and so believe Santa is real. They also know the true meaning of Christmas. We came close this year, when another 7 year old told my kids that Santa doesn't exist and that parents buy all the presents and just pretend they come from santa. That was so sad to me, not because this other girl was told Santa is not real but because she told my kids that. So i didn't fret about it jet when my kids told me I said that is so sad that santa doesn't visit her home. Maybe her parents get her everything so santa doesn't think he should add more to that. I continued with I wish i could afford all the gifts for you but since i don't i ask santa for help. that was enough of an explanation for my kids for them to continue believing.

All you need to do is explain to your children that Santa is a storybook character, just like Cinderella or Curious George (or whomever). People get to dress up like Santa just like people dress up like the Disney Princesses, or Elmo, or any other Halloween costume.

Please do understand, though, that your kids WILL tell other children that Santa isn't real. It's in a child's nature to be honest and if they *know* about Santa they will tell their friends, no matter how many times you ask them not to. So, don't try to keep it a secret. Just tell your kids that many children don't know that Santa is just a storybook character, and that kids who want to beleive should be allowed to.

I never believed in Santa either. My mom didn't allow it. But, I disagree that you shouldn't tell your kids not to let the santa out of the bag, so to speak. When I was in kindergarten, I told a bunch of kids that Santa was a lie (no one told me any better) and got in big trouble for it, even sent to the principals office! I was mortified, and felt terrible that I had ruined it for other kids. So much so that I still remember it!

In our house, Santa brought one gift (unwrapped) every year. The rest of the gifts were to/from our family. That way we didn't go overboard with Santa bringing a ton of gifts and Christmas was about giving as well as receiving.

By not going overboard with the whole thing, our kids still had fun with it, but didn't freak out when they realized it just was make-believe. I think they were both about 4 or 5 when they decided it wasn't real. But we still have a Santa gift anyway, because make-believe can be fun.

Whenever I watch Elf and see Santa and his cool sleigh, part of me wishes he really were real.

The answer I have always given my kids is that the "magic of believing in Santa" is real.

I have younger cousins who did not believe in Santa from the very beginning. They were not school-age yet and their parents just let them know that Santa was not real. As they got older, they actually decided for themselves that they wanted to believe in Santa. I think when they started pre-school etc. and all the kids/teachers talked about Santa they decided they wanted to believe in Santa Claus too. Their parents then started playing along and having Santa come and bring them presents for Christmas. Once they start to question it, then there is no need to continue with the "lie". So I guess my suggestion is that you just leave the issue alone. Don't tell them anything either way at this point. Let them decide for themselves what they believe. It seems like your kids aren't that into Santa anyway so if you just don't focus on him it won't be a big deal and you won't have to worry about them ruining it for other children.