Still Having Problems Brushing Teeth....

sounds like a very unpleasent event for both of you. I would be asking my self is it really worth it? When my kids were that age I used the tooth brush that you put on you finger and did the best I could maybe that will help. When they were 3 the made their first trips to the Dentist and got their first little tooth brushes that the dentist showed them how to use. I wouldn't push it or every dental experiance may be a bad one. At 4 and 6 so far no cavities, however they also don't get a lot of candy and no juice before bed.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about it - so long as she's somewhat brushing her teeth - she's doing a good job and should be 'rewarded/praised' for that!! She's only 2 yrs old - and though it is important to have healthy teeth at any age - these are her baby teeth - and won't be around forever. Perhaps after she's praised a couple of times and feels good about doing it - you could introduce the correct way of brushing her teeth - perhaps like saying - You did a great job!! - but ..you missed a spot - let's try again- something to that affect.

She eventually will brush her teeth the 'right' way. Praise her for now - and slowly slip in the correct method - this way no one will be screaming :-).

I am a 62 year old grandmother and I hate to tell you this, but this is just the beginning of the struggles you will have with your little one over her doing what is best for her and not what she wants. You are the parent and you must be the parent even when she doesn't like it. Once she understands that you will insistof doing it your way and will not give in to her demands and tantrums, she will calm down and obey. Some parents never set down the law and they end up with teenagers who do what they want when they want. They sometimes end up burying those kids. There is nothing easy about parenting. Clean teeth are very important and some things are not open for debate. Is there a reward she would like for allowing you to rebrush her front teeth? If not, she has to learn to do it just because you said so. Good luck with the holiday situation. It's probably not any easier for your in-laws than it is for you!

I completely understand, i just went through the same thing with my 2 year old, Bram. My son's father can brush his teeth with no problems-Bram will let him brush for minutes! With me it was the same mouth closed kind of thing. i asked him what he does and he said that he developed a strict routine that is the same every time. This routine did not happen overnight, but it is consistent and Bram started out kicking and screaming. We have 2 toothbrushes for Bram, one that he "brushes" with and one that we use to brush his teeth.

We start out letting Bram brush his teeth, and then after 3 turns of putting new toothpaste on and letting him basically suck it off, we say its "Mommy" or "Daddys" turn to brush his teeth. Sitting down, we lay Bram down on our lap, so his legs are towards our body and hold his head in one hand and use the other for brushing. Sometimes, he still closes his mouth shut with me, but i begin to gently brush his lips or his nose, until he starts laughing and then we go from there. When i first started, i literally did pry his mouth open and he was screaming, but i remembered to be strong and that i was the wiser knowing he needs to have his teeth brushed. I have a friend whose daughter is 4 and just had 5 fillings...a reminder that its necessary to teach my son good habits, even if it means going through a bit of screaming. If you give into the tantrum, then she will know how to avoid things for the future.

I have no idea why this works but my 19 month old son will let me brush his teeth only if I lay him across my lap on his back. I ask him to open wide and he lets me get in there. I'm not sure if I'm gentler this way or it's a better angle for him. Sometimes there is a bit of playfulness, tickling and teasing involved as well as encouragement from his dad but it is smooth sailing compared to trying to brush his teeth when he is upright. Then I give him the toothbrush and let him do it on his own. I've noticed that he is actually beginning to brush a little as opposed to sucking on the brush which was all he did for a while.

Best of luck to you and happy holidays!

My daughter is 3 1/2 and after reading these responses, I've realized I've had to do many of them. At it's worst, holding her head tight with one arm. A couple of times I held her and pinched her nostrils closed, and that made her mouth POP right open...We laughed a lot over that one, she liked my "trick". Scrubbing specific food from the day, Stickers, songs, saying cheese, pretending she's at the dentist...Oh Hello...How are you today...is Santa going to come to your house....blah blah blah..., we're currently using a firefly toothbrush that has a light in it that flashes for one minute. I found that at ALDI's. She has seen a couple of cartoon characters with bad teeth, and I tell her see, your teeth will turn brown like that pirate etc... if you don't brush.
I loved the responses that advised you to be the parent and show your child that you "mean business" when it comes to this.
I've seen a couple of children recently who have had a lot of black in their mouthes, one looked like untreated decay, and the other had a molar completely covered with metal.
You have to remember that these teeth have to last until the others. You don't want your child to have to suffer with the pain of cavities, or fillings. I don't think it's damaging to their psyche, I think it sets boundaries, and establishes trust. Eventually when they know better, they will understand that you will do whatever it takes to do what is right for them. It will teach them how important this is, that you will go to those lenghts to ensure that they have a beautiful healthy smile.

I have had to pin my kids too. I hated it but baby teeth are so prone to cavities more so that adult teeth that you have to do what you have to do.

My middle son fought me and sometimes I just gave up or did not do as good a job as I should have. We paid for it later BIG time! He had his first dental check-up at 2 and sure enough he had a cavity. Filling that cavity was an absolute nightmare. He fought so hard with the hygenist and the dentist. He threw up all over the place. And when physically restraining him failed they had to give him nitrous oxide! That didn't even help. The nitrous wasn't covered by our insurance and we paid an arm & a leg for it. And yes, these were pediatric dentists!

well, that was it. i decided that there would be no more giving in to his tantrums. I brushed his teeth 2 -3 times a day and it was not pleasant at all! I had to hold his head under my underarm while restraining his arms while brushing his teeth!

The good news is that he is no longer combative when brushing. He learned very quickly that I meant business and that if he didn't cooperate we were going to have to do it the hard way every time! All I would have to say was "We can do this the easy way or the hard way." He knew exactly what that meant and he chose the easy way.

Now at 4 years he is excellent at flossing and brushing his own teeth all by himself! It is AWESOME! He remembers the awful experience at the dentist and the fights we had while brushing and he hates it. If he becomes stubborn I just ask him if he wants another cavity and that stops him in his tracks!

My 22 month old still fights me on occasion so i have to do it the hard, unpleasant way. But i just keep telling myself that it will get better. As long as you stick to it it will get better. Really, it does!

You know there will be many things that your kid does or doesn't want to do in life. This instance you are not being a bad Mom if you hold your kid down and brush those teeth. I had to do it like that for about a year. It gets better as they get older. Also I would rather have him freak out for 5 minutes than going around with a mouth full of rotten teeth!!!!!

My daughter is 13 months old, since the day she started getting lumps in her gums, I started brushing her "teeth", and when I am done she can brush herself for as long as it takes me to brush my teeth. She now can brush her teeth alone, while watching me, and do it correctly. I over-exaggerate, she thinks it's funny, and she does the same.. Maybe, like I know some other Mom's have said, you do it, and she will copy you.. We all know our kids love to mimic! Good luck!

Do not listen to your aunt. Your poor child will feel tortured. A few months ago my youngest son had a cold and I held him down to use the suction bulb on his nose. He's 13 months old now, and was probably 10 months at the time. He still fights me just to wipe his face after he eats. So I definately think your aunt has the wrong idea.

Check the request board. Lisa L asked this same question about 2 days ago and got some great responses. Whatever you try don't expect it to work instantly. You have to give it time. Just make sure your daughter isn't getting anything sweet. As long as she at least chews on her toothbrush with a little bit of toddler toothpaste it's better then nothing at all. She'll eventually get the idea to let you help. When you have another child try to start the tooth brushing before the child even has teeth. At bath time is a great time once they can sit up. That's what I always did. Good luck, and have a great Christmas.

Little ones like to copy what their Mom's do....so try brushing your own teeth while she's brushing hers. Get silly and make a fun game of it....and maybe if you ask her to bush your front teeth, she'll smile wild like you and allow you to do hers. Give it time and keep trying...

Remember the fact that she does do it herself is a good start. Don't force it on her, don't make it a horror experience for her..

i have problems brushing my sons teeth but to get the front teeth i have him say cheese like he is taking a picture and that seems to work. hope this helps

I read the other responses you were given and I think the song one is a great idea. Perhaps your daughter senses your own tension when it comes to tooth brushing and is reacting negatively because of it, plus, 2 year olds are notorious for wanting to do things by themselves, in their OWN way!

One thing that has worked with my younger daughter, who will sometimes decide that she does NOT want any help with brushing her teeth, is to say, "Ok, go ahead. Let me see what a big girl you are, but after you are done, let's just make sure you got all those teeth nice and clean." She still feels in control and I can get in her mouth to get the teeth she missed. We have also talked in very basic terms about keeping ourselves healthy and how brushing our teeth is part of that. We've got books and printouts to talk about it, as well. Also, if you haven't done so already, a trip to a dentist that specializes in children is a MUST. A good pediatric dentist can probably give you some hints how to deal with this and also tell you for sure if those discolored teeth are cavities.

Good luck to you!

I would try to have her use the cook bkue listerin, it makes her teeth blue where the plague is and maybe she will realize that she needs to get the blue off for her teeth to be clean and i would also brush with her and her blue teeth to show he the right way!!! hope it helps

Yeah, um, these are her first teeth, new ones will replace them and whatever damage is incurred during early childhood will be a thing of the past. Unfortunately, she only has one psyche and one relationship with you. If they get broken, you don't get a new one. Let her brush her teeth her way and praise her for it. I wouldn't ever pin my daughters down to brush their teeth. Keep sugary foods, juice etc...down to a minimum. No soda, no sugary breakfast cereal, no junk. At our house we brush away the sugar bugs that like to eat teeth.

Does your aunt actually have children of her own?

Being your first, I am going to let you in on a few secrets. 1) Our children are not always going to be fond of what we need to do as parents or what we say whether they are 1, 16, or probably even 30 but we are their parents first until they reach adulthood, not their friends. 2) Good hygiene starts with the baby teeth even though they will lose them. Listen to your aunt. It may be hard in the beginning and you may feel bad now but you will feel less bad the more you realize while she may sound like you are killing her, you AREN'T. Do what needs to be done. This is nothing compared to the battles you are going to have with her as she gets older.

Hi Q.,

We've tried a number of things but it's just a hit or miss thing with this. We go through the same thing pretty much every night. For awhile we'd just hold her in our laps, pretty much restraining her with our arms to get those teeth cleaned, and yes, I felt like a horrible mother. We've tried singing songs, and other cute ways to do it. We've also told her (somewhat jokingly) that if she doesn't take care of her teeth they'll fall out of her head and she won't have any (and now it's our family joke).

What seems to work now, and has for awhile, is counting. We give her the toothbrush and we hold up our fingers as we count to ten. When we get to ten then she gets to switch sides (top and bottom). She watches those fingers (and what a great way for her to learn numbers)! I stop the count when she stops brushing (ie: if she stops in the middle of brushing and I'm only on 3 then the count doesn't begin again until she starts brushing again).

She has always let me brush her front teeth-I just tell her to go "Eeeee" so I can get those front teeth. Teeth brushing seems to be the epitome of battles so you are not alone.

I have to say that after months of battling this, it's getting slightly easier. My daughter no longer really sucks the toothpaste off her brush and the battles seem a little easier(but only slightly). The other thing is, try modeling your own brushing for her. My daughter has been asking me to brush my teeth with her and the other night she brushed them for me, which she liked.

You'll find what works for you and your daughter, good luck.

K.

I just responded to something similiar this morning so i am going to copy and paste what i wrote:

"Well, I had to get creative and make teeth brushing fun for my daughter, we sing and dance while we brush. First I brush for her while I talk about the foods we've eaten that day, to get to certain spots I will say "OH! OPEN WIDE, I gotta get that banana off your back tooth, oh I see some chicken" ect and she thinks it funny that I am brushing the food away. For round two when she gets to brush, we sing. I take somgs we know and just put new lyrics on them, For example if you've ever heard the song "I like to eat, eat , eat, apples and bananas" I sing "I like to brush, brush, brush, brush all my teethers!" There's a ton of songs I sing, Just make it a fun event, sure brushing her teeth takes a little longer, but it's done good. I also use the Toddler training toothpaste, flouride free.. One negative to that is I can't seem to get her to want to spit it out!"

If she closes her mouth tight stop singing and having fun, only provide fun when she is cooperating.

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable holding my daughter down, but everyone has their own ways. I feel like this would make brushing teeth such a negative experience that it wouldn't be instilling the habit in her, which is what the first goal really is. Also, holding her down could really stunt her trust for you. Instead, until you feel she is really getting her teeth cleaned, it may be a long process, cut back on sugars and sweets and anything that will affect her teeth, especially close to bedtime.

Good Luck!

I don't know what responses you got the last time you posted, but since you say she brushes well herself but she misses the front teeth, my suggestion would be to brush your teeth while she is brushing her teeth. Show her what you want her to do and have her mimic your actions. This is what I do with my daughter (she's 3). Show her to open her mouth and do the back teeth while you do yours. Then do the front, teeth together. Direct her to do up and down and side to side. If she sees what you do then she can do it too. In this way you're not forcing her and both having a bad experience around dental hygiene.

Good Luck

Hi Q.,
You have to pick your battles. If this one is top priority for you, then pin her down and get it done. But you have to live with this child, not your aunt. ;-)
If it's something you can let go a bit, I have a few random thoughts; take them for what they are worth. First, I would take a break. Don't brush her teeth, tell you're not going to, let her brush by herself, tell her that's what you going to do until some particular time (1 week? 4 days? After New Year's? Whatever). Mark it on the calendar, put up pictures and she takes one down every day, something to help her mark the time until...well, I'm not sure what happens on the big day. Maybe tell her that you will brush her teeth for 10 seconds on that day. Let her brush your teeth, for 10 seconds or longer. Count 10 seconds together. Set a timer. Act it out, for a few days ahead of time, so she gets the idea. But keep it really short and sweet, just start the precedent of you putting the brush in her mouth. Maybe if you can do 10 seconds for a few days? weeks? months? at some point you can stretch it out without the huge battle of wills. You can also brush together every day, with her watching as you very exaggeratedly brush those front teeth; she'll get it eventually.
Good luck!
D.

A lot of times the fun creative ways to get kids to brush their teeth just won't work. So, if they aren't working for our daughter, you really have no reason to feel guilty.

When my son was smaller he had the same technique as your daughter (heck still does some times)of closing his mouth while brushing. My son is five now and still can't brush his teeth properly without supervision... I'm not exactly sure what he does when i'm not in there, but he's still have slight morning breath so I end up going back and doing it the right way.

Try not to feel guilty about holding her down. I know it's hard, but it's so neccessary. When my son started pre-k the school even sent something home telling parents how to brush their kids teeth including the holding their head to you and mouth open to get it done. When my son was small I had to hold his head b/c he wouldn't let me just brush. My son he HATED it, but I eventually stopped hold him b/c he learned I was going to brush his teeth whether regardless, and fighting just made it harder on him. It wasn't long before he stopped fighting and just let me brush his teeth.

Hope this helps