Son Not Sleeping Through the Night Any More?????

I have a 12 month old who has been getting up at 4 am lately. He was also sleeping through the night previously. He usually cries for about 5 min and then I cover him back up. It is frustrating though. Try to hang in there. I've had other moms tell me that it's usually 1.5-2 when the kid finally stops getting up and is consistent with sleeping through the night...YIKES!!

a few thoughts come to mind for options: A: He might be becoming too pampered over things. If you are there to cater every cry his mind might be devoloping this oncall need from you. They say it is ok to let a baby cry if you know that you have done all that is necessary for his caretaking. Food, diaper, and previous love and play time. You might consider doing more activities in the evening to tire him more. B: you could take him to the doctor and see if there is some underlying reason he is waking up at night. If that comes out clear, then i'd go with option A's reasonings. Many children have moments where they wake up at night and it is ok to let them cry themselves back to sleep. I think that stoppin in once in a while to let them know they are not alone, and see everything is going well is required, but if you have a room sound enough where you can let them cry and still hear they are ok, then let them learn to be alone at night. Different parents do things different ways. Some cater them, some say not to. I personally dont think that going in and continually picking them up and catering them just to be held is good for them. When i was a first time mother i did the same thing. I spent the first year or two without any sleep. Luckily by the time i had my third he slept all night long. It was great. anyways, good luck.

There is nothing wrong with you bringing your son to bed with you.

I think he is probably just going through a growth spurt. These happen from time to time, and the child will not sleep well, may or may not want to eat more, and want love and affection. They need that contact and closeness to feel secure, comforted and loved.

Crying it out is one of the most cruel things that people do to their children. If you were upset and crying would you want people to ignore you?

Good luck and I hope you both start to feel more rested.
P.S. My hubby also snores and it can be super hard to sleep, so I know how you feel on that one. As a breastfeeding, AP Mamma, I've found that co-sleeping allows both me and my son to get plenty of rest. The first month of co-sleeping was the hardest for me because I was so worried about hurting him, but then I found that I was more attuned to his needs and therefore was able to get better rest and he slept better too.

We are still co-sleeping and he is now 16 months - I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Hi C.,
This will be of help I hope for you and especially your husband. Has he had a sleep study done? I snored and was diagnosed with sleep apnia. (check the spelling) I no longer snore, but I do wear a breathing mask. I am no longer as tired and my husband and I can sleep together. If your husband goes untreated, it will truly affect his heart because he is not getting enough oxygen and may stop breathing as I did throughout the night. Here's to restful sleep for you and your family. Regards, C.

Dear C.,

Possibly the best advice would be to have your husband checked for sleep apnea. My husband has it and I too used to have it. This is a deadly condition and is nothing to put off. His MD can send him to a specialist that will have him spend a night in a sleep clinic. They will monitor his breathing and snoring and sleep. If it is determined that he has sleep apnea they can fit him with a CPAP. You both will begin to get a good nights sleep. This may actually save his life.

As for, "cry it out" I do not subscribe to that practice. Most of your previous responses detail my feelings about that as well. We are the comfort for our babies. I don't have an issue with bringing my son in to our bed if he needs comfort. He won't be there forever.

We all live our lives differently. You have to do what is right for you and your family. Don't let other's influence what you feel is right.

Blessings,
Jacq

C.,
I don't have much advice for you, but I can let you know that I completely relate to you! My son is 12 months old and is doing the exact same thing. I feel like my only option is to either stay up the whole night trying to get him to fall asleep and stay asleep, or just give in because I am exhausted and let him sleep in bed with me. He takes naps great during the day and even will fall asleep on his own when it is time for bed, but it never fails that he wakes up at least 2 to 3 times a night unless he is sleeping with me. It is hard however because we are not getting the sleep we need as mothers when our children are sleeping in bed with us. you feel like you started a bad habit but it is a hard one to break when you know all your child wants is the comfort of their mommy! My son used to sleep 12 hours through the night consistently and then a few months ago he changed and now I feel like I will never get a good nights sleep again! I have always had a hard time letting him cry it out because, well it just seems cruel. How can a person who doesn't understand how not to pee in their pants possible understand that we are trying to teach the to comfort themselves? Anyways good luck I will keep in touch and let you know if I get any advice that you might want to hear!

Hi C. -
I have a 10 month old and he has been doing the same thing lately. The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" recommended putting him to bed 20-30 minutes earlier. He might be getting up because he is a little sleep deprived and just that extra little bit of sleep could help him sleep all night. Just something different you could try. My little one has been sleeping much better at night because I've been making sure he has good naps and an on-time bedtime. I think it would be awfully hard to let him cry it out if you are sharing a room. Good luck - there is nothing worse than sleep deprivation!

Perhaps he's hungary. If you still have him on the bottle, that may not be enough to satisfy his tummy through the night. Try giving him a heavier meal at dinner like a mixed grain cereal, pasta, mashed potatoes or yams, cottage cheese, etc. Additionally, I might try wearing him out before bed time to make him extra sleepy. I used to play lion and mouse with my boys after dinner. They would chase me then I would turn around and chase them. Then around 8pm I turn off all the lights. I give them 30 minutes to unwind, sit down and read books, or watch TV. At 8:30pm the boys go through the night-time routine of changing clothes and getting things ready for the next day for daycare. By 9pm they are asleep.

Just a phase he is going through. He will eventually sleep through the night again. I would give him some cereal with fruit and a bottle at night before you put him down. Let him cry for about 20 min. and if he hasn't stopped go in and sooth him for a few minutes and then put him back down again. Eventually he'll get tired from crying and he will sleep. Sometimes you just have to let them cry themselves to sleep but you also want them to know at the same time that you are there. What they mean by cry it out is to let them cry themselves to sleep. As far as the snoring goes with your husband try the breathe right nose patches to see if they help. If not try having him sleep on his side and also have him prop his head up and see how that works.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4. My husband snores too and it drives me crazy.

Maybe since giving up daytime bottles (which is a good thing at one year old), he is hungrier at night. Both my kids would wake up during the night as they got older, and giving them a little more food during the day did the trick. Try going in and rocking him for a bit, then laying him back down and just patting/rubbing his back. Slowly back out of his room a little at a time. This worked great with my son.

A 13-month-old has a lot of stamina and making him scream until he passes out could take a long time. There's really very little evidence that it works, especially at his age.
There's nothing wrong with co-sleeping so don't beat yourself up about it. If that's what gets you some sleep, go for it.
My older son went through a few months where he was up at least once most nights. We always gave him 10 minutes to see if he'd go back to sleep and then one of us would go in and try to put him down and leave. Then, if he was back up, I'd nurse him and he'd always go to sleep after that. He grew out of it.
Try reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers".
Have you tried teething tablets or gels yet? You can get all-natural ones from Hylands at Kroger and Whole foods.
For the record, it's time for a sippy cup and no more bottles no matter the time of day (or night).
Good Luck! :)

Hi there! I only have a minute to respond so I will get strait to the point. My 4 mo old is sleeping so I'll have to be brief. Please, please, please don't listen to the "cry-it-out" crowd. Your son is too young to be manipulative and at this age needing to be close to you CAN be considered a real need. If you do a little research you'll find a great deal about how meeting your babe's needs makes more independent, confident and overall happy children. By letting him cry, yes he might eventually fall asleep, but at the cost of his security and trust in you. My recommendation is to co-sleep with your son until he feels more secure about sleeping alone again. Don't worry, he won't be in your bed forever. :) You can read a lot about the benefits of co-sleeping on Dr. Sears website. There you can also find the myth busters about co-sleeping. I encourage you to listen to your little one. Something is going on with him now and affecting him in such a way that he needs his momma's closeness. Your heart will tell you what to do, which is why it is very difficult to listen to him cry. I can also advise you do a little reading about attachment parenting on Dr. Sear's website. Good luck to you and remember that by listening to your child you can overcome this and get a much needed nights sleep. ;)

They go through phases. Hang in there, but don't really count on consistent sleep until he is older. Every child is different, and crying it out has never felt right to me. I goes against my "mommy instincts"...which I figure God gave to me and He knows better than any other mommy or book or whatever. Trust that God entrusted this child to YOU, so He will give you what you need to make it through -- even years of sleepless or sleep deprived nights. I'm a mom of 4 (7, 5, 3, and 7mos). They are all different types of sleepers; I have not done the "cry it out" thing and I'm still surviving and enjoying my children, because I see how fast it all goes.
God Bless, M.

I was in school the first 9 years of my daughter's life. She would go to bed in our bed while I studied. I must let you know don't let people "guilt" you into not letting your son occassionally sleep with you. Lauren would fall asleep and my husband would carry her to her own bed, and she would stay the whole night. However, there will eventually come a time when he will want his own bed. He's going through a "seperation anxiety" stage that all children go through. I would even bet he gets a bit anxious when you leave the room....he will come with you. He will grow out of it..it takes time and patience. Our daughter is graduating this Saturday, and believe me, this opportunity to snuggle will pass too quickly. He won't do this his whole life. If he's still doing this in high school, I would worry about it. In spite of what others say, you would be quite pleasantly surprised how many parents don't let their children "cry it out." I look back and actually miss the closeness of the cuddle time. A. N.

This is the same message that I wrote to another question. The book I mention below is for older children but I think it is wonderful. There are some "yoga" type relaxation techniques that might be too advanced for a 15mo old but it could be worth a try. When my daughter was 3 I did all the stuff with her and helped her. Crying it out is painful and as I stated below it worked for a while but wasn't worth the heartache to try again. I think he probably sees you at night and wants to be with you, which is ok but like you said you dont' get enough sleep. I never slept good with my kids in bed with me. I felt that I was a better mom during the day when I got a good night sleep, which is much more important than being with my kids while we were all trying to sleep in the same bed.

I had the same problems with my daughter who is now 7. She didn't want to go to bed, she woke up during the night. This happened off and on from 15 months but got worse at almost 3. We would go through periods of not wanting to go to bed and/or waking up in the middle of the night. We tried crying it out, it broke my heart, had to do it for 4 mights in a row! It worked...so I thought, it only lasted 6 monhts so I knew there had to be an better way, I was not doing that again! I searched on line and found the Floppy Sleep Game Book by Patti Teel. You can buy it used on BarnesandNoble.com. MAKE SURE YOU GET THE CD. It is a 4 week plan to help your child learn to fall asleep and go back to sleep. IT WORKS. I put 100% effort into this, I did it with her every night. It was a huge commitment to spend the time but was so worth it! I started using it with her when she was 3. We got away from doing the techniques from time to time but always went back. After about a year we kind of developed our own bedtime ritual that combines some of the techniques taught. My older son got involved as I felt like I was leaving him out (no sleeping problems) but he enjoyed being with us. Once she knew what to do it didn't take a lot of time each night. She still listens to the CD from time to time just for fun OR we have used it when she is having a restless begining to her night. **note Don't get into the habit of it just being one parent if you can help it! We found this to be a little bit of an issue as my daughter wouldn't go to bed without me! Now even though my kids are older we still have some rituals shower/bath, no TVor games instead we read books, listen to soft music etc. (I think my kids are great readers b/c of this time we spend) It is a great relaxing evening for all of us. Then as soon as the kids doors shut we have time to ourselves.

This is a very critical point at that age that you set boundaries. It is already confusing for him to have you in his room. You have to let it cry it out and scream in his bed. I ran into this issue with my daughter around that time. Her doctor said to let her do that even if she vomits froom crying, which she did. I cleaned up the mess and put her right back in the crib. It took about 3 days for her to stop that behavior. However, it had been going on for over a month before I let her cry.

good luck!

C.,
We go through this every few weeks as well. My daughter is 15 months, and I can usually lay her down awake for both bed and nap times. Last night for example, she was up twice. My husband and/or I will bring her in our bed until she falls back asleep, and then she usually goes back in her own bed. She is a kicker in her sleep, so we have to put her back to bed. I also have done CIO. I don't have the heart to let it go more than a few minutes. Sometimes she is just not ready for sleep. CIO, like someone else said in response, is what you make it mean. Sometimes, my daughter is just overtired and cries for a few minutes and goes back to bed. I find that when she is teething or going through a growth spurt that she just wants some extra cuddling. Nothing wrong with that! I take the cuddles while I can...they are only small for so long. Don't worry, and just do what you think is right.

There is NOTHING wrong if you want to bring your babe to bed. It is a personal decision & if that is what you want to do, don't let anyone make you feel quilty or that you have to apologize for it. We get some great sleep that way. I think that CIO has different meanings for different people. Some people will do just that, let their babies cry until they pass out from exhaustion. Others will let them cry & go into the room once in a while to comfort them, but not pick them up. I hate CIO, it never made sense to me that we should let our babies cry that hard. My daughter gets a bottle of milk before bed & I put her to bed when she is sound asleep and sometimes she comes to bed with me. 3 big no-no's in some people's books. But, this is what works for me & I won't have anyone telling me that it's wrong. People will also tell you that you HAVE to make them CIO, NO, you don't!!!!!! These people do not live with you & have no business telling you what you have to do. If you want, sit & rock with him & put him back to sleep. Give him a bottle. Whatever works. Everyone needs their sleep. This, too shall pass & there will be a day when he won't want to cuddle up. I say, take it when you can.

Please don't beat yourself up for sleeping with your baby. I have a one year old as well, and he sleeps right next to me. I wouldn't have it any other way. We both sleep better and longer. I know he is safe. If your house were cooler, you probably would both sleep just fine. If you really think about it, allowing your baby to cry intil he passes out sounds so inhumane. I realize some doctors and books say it's fine and won't damage them, but I have to believe that it does damage our children. How would you feel if you were left to cry alone not knowing where your one and only source of comfort had gone?

I think if I was you I would find something to help your husbands snoring. If you could fix his snoring you could sleep in your own bed and that might help with your son. If you aren't in the room with him maybe he would stop crying out for you because he doesn't see you. Also it is easier to let him "cry it out" if you aren't in the same room with him.

I am sure the changes in his normal routine are causing some of the security issues.
When I was young (I am 56) the term "cry it out" meant just that. You aren't wet, you don't want a bottle, there isn't a pin sticking you, you don't have a fever so you are just crying to get attention and therefore I am not going to play this game with you and you just let them cry themselves to sleep. This is not necessarily a practice that blends itself well to you getting any rest and the child can actually cry so hard they throw up and then you have that mess to deal with as well.
Have you and your husband checked into any of the snoring remedies? Just a question. I know there are a lot of them available now. My dad snored, my husband snored, my mother started snoring in her late 40's and I do it now too. My dad and husband could literally shake the windows if they were sleeping in the same room. Couldn't turn the television up loud enough to hear over the two of them!
P. R

I have given this info to many a M.. I hope it has helped a few out there. I had this same problem several months ago. My son slept fine then all of the sudden, he started to wake up about an hour after I put him down. I would get him up and rock him for a few and he would go right back to sleep. Needless to say though, I got really tired of this. I kept a food journal of what he ate, thinking that he may be getting a tummy ache or something. Turns out he only did this on the nights that he had chocolate during the day. I took my findings to the doc during his well baby visit. I was told that this is very common and children react most to milk and chocolate. They, for one reason or another, don't digest it properly sometimes. That's not to say that they won't react to other things, these were just the most common. So we cut out chocolate completely and wouldn't you know it, he sleeps fine again. I hope this helps ya. It sure did me! Good luck, Shannon G.

Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child" It's a huge resource for me and I've underlined, circled ,etc. in it. I'm a great fan of cosleeping in the beginning but as they get older it's important for children to learn how to get themselves back to sleep on their own. Of course, you have to do what's best for you and your family. Good luck.