Sleeping Through the Night? - Mars,PA

My son is the exact same way. He won't sleep until he's nursed and he wakes up 2 to 3 times a night to nurse. He's about to turn 6 months old and all the doctor told me to do was to let him cry it out. I did some research and i've been trying to give him a minute or two when he starts crying before i go to his room, but this doesn't seem to be helping. So I just try to tire him out a lot during the day to get him to sleep longer at night. let me know if you find anything that works!
-S.

Totally normal! Babies brain structures, on average, aren't designed to sleep through the night at this age. American or western culture babies tend to sleep through the night because they drink heavy formula or their parents let them cry it out. Trust your gut. Don't let her cry it out. It is not psychologically healthy for you or for her. And that strong lungs from crying thing? Total BS with absolutely NO biological basis. Old wives tale.
The first stage of psychosocial development is "basic trust vs. mistrust" (approx. the 1st yr of life). If your baby "cries it out" she learns that the world- and her biggest source of support, mommy- is not to be trusted because support is not consistent. This may cause difficulties with attachment and behavioral problems later on. Believe me, a child who views mother as a secure and loving "home-base" to return to, rather than punitive and unavailable, as they explore the world will have a much easier, and well adjusted toddlerhood and "terrible two's".
Try to hold and soothe your baby when she is crying- you are doing more than you know by doing this. You are teaching her how to soothe herself (how would she know how to do this if no one shows her? Its not instinct- except for sucking! so let her do that too.), you are also helping her brain to organize itself and grow proper and strong neural connections. Sometimes children who have difficult temperament (cholic-like behavior) have difficulty organizing themselves, making sense of their new world, and regulating their mood states. Parents help them to do this through holding and soothing. Children who don't have this holding and soothing when they need it have trouble developing organized brain structures, which is often later diagnosed as ADHD.
So don't take this as a license to overindulge- take time to care for yourself and remember that appropriate "doses" of frustration are healthy are healthy. The just "good-enough mother" is the best kind!
Good Luck!

A.,

this is totally normal. Most breastfeeding advocates will tell you that really up to a year, an infant may wake at night for food.

Don't dispair of nursing to sleep. As she grows, she'll learn and so will you. I can count on one hand (twice) the number of times that I haven't been the one to put DD to bed.

Are you doing any sign language with her? My dd started signing milk at about 9 months. Not long after that, she picked up all done. Starting around a year, she'd occasionally stop nursing and tell me she was all done, then snuggle down in my arms. I started moving her into her crib while she was drowsy at that point. For the last 6-8 weeks, (she's almost 17 months now) she's been nursing for about 10 minutes and then she pops off, smiles at me, and signs all done. She gets put into her crib, the lights get turned off, and I come back downstairs with no tears. It's wonderful.

When I'm touched out and at the end of my rope, I take a few extra minutes to snuggle her, especially at naptime when she tends to fall asleep in my arms. It always helps me to remember that no matter how hard I think it is right now, in the moment, this phase is going to pass quickly. In 6 months or a year or three, I'll be willing to trade just about anything for one more day of her being tiny again.

Hang in there, you can do this!

S.

Take it form my sister, who has 12 kids who all slept through the night by 3 months. It's ALWAYS food! It doesn't matter liquid or solid, she needs MORE. All day long, not just right before bed. Don't worry about nursing before bed for now. That can be reduced later. What you do need to do is stuff her belly all day. Even if she seems fine, and you're feeding her on a schedule, she can eat more. Offer her feedings more often, and if she takes them, she's hungry. If she's stuffed, she won't take it. In a few days, it will register in her body that she's fully fed, and she will sleep all night. My daughter woke up twice per night to nurse until she was 1. THEN my sister told me this trick. She started sleeping through 3 days after I fed her more. My 15 month old son has slept through since 3 months. He's huge, and I stuff him all day long. But we all sleep soundly. Good luck!

Hi A.! My girls did not sleep through the night until they were 11 months old. They were able to fall asleep by themselves. When they were drowsy from nursing, I would put them down and since they were already sleepy it worked. People kept telling me to give rice cereal before bed. It might work for some kids, but it never worked for mine. Good Luck, but I think that this is normal.

My 6 month old gets up 1-2 times every night to nurse. And she is for real hungry when she gets up- she's not just looking for the comfort. At this age it is totally normal b/c the breastmilk just doesn't fill them up for that long. My doctor even said it is normal. ONe thing we started doing about a month ago was giving her a bottle of formula at bedtime to 'tank her up'. She will sleep 6-8 hours after getting the formula, then wake up once or twice during the rest of the night to eat. She was really not getting enough breastmilk at bedtime to satisfy her, no matter how long she nursed.

As far as adding solids- my daughter has been on solids for a couple weeks now and I have not seen any difference in her sleeping (and she's a good eater!), so you don't need to start solids before you are ready (I wanted to wait until as close to 6 months as possible).

As far as falling asleep on her own, every parent and every baby is different. I bought out the infant sleep section of Boarders and nothing really worked for me. I tried to push the falling asleep on her own thing for a while (putting her down awake, etc.) and it never worked and she would sleep horribly. So, I say, do what you are comfortable with. Within the past month, my daughter will sometimes fall asleep on her own (especially in the middle of the night) and sometimes she needs more help from me. Sleep patterns mature as babies grow, so I feel like I need to let her develop at her own pace rather than forcing my way on her. Some babies have a very strong 'suck to sleep' association which is probably why your daughter falls asleep nursing. Our bedtime and naptime routine now consists of rocking with a pacifier and a lullabye toy. The pacifier really helps my daughter to fall asleep. Some babies need more sucking time than others and there's nothing wrong with that.

Good luck!

Hi A., Every baby has a different schedule and different time when they are ready to sleep through the night. Don't rush it - your baby may not be ready. Many babies don't sleep through the night until they are nearly a year old. Here is a link to some sleep techniques by Elizabeth Pantley that may help you: http://mommynewsblog.com/category/parenting-info-tips/the... - scroll down, there are about 5 posts on babies/chilren and sleep in this category.

Congrats on your new baby!
J.

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my daughter is 9 and a half months old and shes still not sleeping thru the night. I just recently started making her go back to sleep without feeding, for me it was just reaching that point where i felt i and she was ready, also i wanted to start weaning her off her bottle and was worried that she would become dependant on her bottle and then i wouldnt be able to get her to sleep. My daughter was still taking a 8 oz bottle in the middle of the night, so ifigured she was hungry, i cant let her cry! but we've done it 4 nights now and shes down to about 5- 10 minutes of hardley crying, its more of a whine before she falls back to sleep. We go in her room, pat her back and turn her crib soother on. she doesnt feel abandoned or like she cant trust her mommy, she is still the same happy baby she always was. I wish i had done it months ago. she doenst even want breakfast for an hour or so after she wakes in the morning so i know im not starving her, she was in a pattern, it was a habit. she is completely off her bottle and takes sippy cups of formula now and my husband and i are well rested.

Totally normally for that age A..

feed more during the day. Maybe it's time to add rice cereal before bedtime. This usually starts around 5-6 moonths. dilute cereal with a little breast milk. probably about 1-2 T of cereal to start. She needs more calories. good luck
L.

Hi, A.!
First of all, believe me, I feel your pain & frustration & desire for continuous sleep!
If it's any consolation, my 19 month old STILL rarely sleeps through the night. He almost always wakes up around 3am.
To be perfectly honest, I was having a hard time dealing with it until recently. I mean, I know very few people who have this problem at this age! It REALLY helped me to stop expecting him to sleep through the night. Every now & then he does & it's a wonderful surprise. But I no longer expect it of him. I take it one night at a time & expect to be getting out of bed to get him at 3am or so.

When he does wake up, we just take him into our bed. That makes life SO much easier!!! We all sleep much better & his need to be snuggled & to feel secure at night is met.

Don't worry--it won't last forever (it just might feel like it some nights!).
Hang in there!
A. Patterson
www.ThingaMaSling.com
Custom-Created Baby Slings

yes A., she can. she can fall asleep on her own. although since she seems so very fragile and helpless, your daughter has become accustomed to the fact that when she cries, mom runs to her. and not only that, but sometimes babies will breastfeed to soothe themselves because it is comforting, instead of actually needing the feeding. breast fed babies do eat more frequently than formula fed babies because breast milk digests more quickly than formula. at 4 months, your daughter should have been starting cereal. if she hasn't yet, then you need to. if she is eating baby cereal, try a cereal feeding about an hour before bedtime followed by some breastmilk. try not to let her fall asleep while breastfeeding before bed. lay her down after burping etc and allow her to "put herself" to sleep. it takes about 1 to 2 wks for her to be willing. there will be lots of fussing at first, but believe me, it's worth the 1 to 2 wks. buy extra large earplugs, take lots of deep breaths. at this age, your baby should be sleeping at least 6 hours during the night, before actually needing a feeding. good luck. and remember that sometimes, being a good mother is about doing what is best for you and your baby... even if she doesn't know that yet. and that means that the easiest way (to give in) isn't always what will be better for you both in the long run. i had to go through this with my daughter at 5 months as well, and i would sit in my bedroom out of stress and frustration and just cry while she would cry. you try making unrealistic bargains in your head that you are denying her what she needs or that you are being a bad mother if you don't run in everytime she cries. but there is one thing that always helped me. i would just remind myself over and over that crying helps develop healthy lungs for toddlerhood.... and boy, was i right...