Sleeping - Park City,UT

Updated on March 19, 2008
S.H. asks from Park City, UT
14 answers

Any ideas to help a 5 year old over anxiety of sleeping in his room all night? My fourth child seems to struggle a lot with anxiety, not just at night but also during the day, i.e. going to preschool or playdates. Life seems stressful for him and I don't know how to help him feel better about things.

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Y.L.

answers from Grand Junction on

Look for alternative therapies. He might have emotional feelings from experiences. Craniosacral therapy is good also. www.wellhavengj.com

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J.L.

answers from Pocatello on

My older daughter had a lot of anxiety from birth. The best way to treat anxiety is to give your son lots of love and let him know that you will always be there when he need you. This means that when he wakes up at night you may want to lay down with him until he falls asleep. If he has a hard time leaving you for play dates, try to stay with him. Most parents will tell you that he needs to learn to be independent by being left alone. I know that if I had done that with my daughter it would have increased her anxiety. Eventually my daughter realized I would always be there when she needed me and she didn't need me to be physically with her all of the time. I also always told her what to expect when something different was happening whether it was going to a new park or having a medical procedure done. She developed some health problems at age three and I explained everything that was going on with her body and what to expect. I would always ask her why she was afraid to do something or go somewhere. Once I knew what she was afraid of I could help her work through her fear by talking about it. I would also always follow up on what happened and talk about how there really wasn't anything to worry about. Knowledge is power; even for little kids. She is now a well adjusted eight year old with very little anxiety.

If this is new behavior there may be something else going on. I knew a little girl with a lot of anxiety that started when she was four. It turned out she had terrible vision so she was terrified when she couldn't see her mother because she couldn't see anything else. Once they figured it out and got her glasses she was fine. It is possible that something with his health is bothering him or something traumatic has happened to him. Talk to him frequently about what he is scared of.

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T.P.

answers from Denver on

Hello S., My seven year old still likes to be near us at night and, if she doesn't sleep in her room, she sleeps next to us.

You might be interested in reading, "How to Talk So Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk," by Faber and Mazlish. The skills presented in this book can go a long way in diminishing anxiety in our children, and ourselselves! ~T.

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H.R.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Anxiety is usually a symptom to something else. When I was a child, I got upset if my clothes got wet, things were too loud, or if there were too many people. The problem was that I got over stimulated easily. I think I would talk to someone, starting with your pediatrician. It may also help to talk to a child psychiatirst (if you live in Colorado Springs, I can recommend a great one). Understanding the underlying cause will ultimatly help you deal with the problem.

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S.P.

answers from Denver on

Hi S.,

I am so sorry to hear that your babies are dealing with anxiety, I have dealt with anxiety before and thats a feeling no child should have to deal with ... Have you ever thought of taking your 5year old to a chiropractic to get an adjustment. I really think you should call saddle rock family chiropractic @ ###-###-#### with Dr. Eric Schumake. My entire family go to him and my children are 2 & 5. Since going here, our life has been so much better. My son was diagnosed with RSV and would have to get nebulizer treatments which we hated having to give him, he also had trouble staying asleep at night. My 5 year old would always complain of headaches. Since going there both children are great, my son hasnt used the nebulizer since going to him not only that when ever either kids get a cold they are still up and functioning and playing as if they are fine, which they are they still have reg. cold sypmtoms but they fight off their colds so much more quicker and we no longer use any type of cold medicines, its never needed. My daughter has not complained at all about her head hurting, she hasnt even mentioned it to us. I really think you & your children will benefit from it. You can also listen to him on the radio KRKS 94.7 at 2:30. Give him a call, tell him S. reffered you or that you heard him on the radio and you should recieve a free eval for you and the children. You will be amazed at the results. I wish you the best...

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A.F.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I haven't had any problems with anxiety in my children (at least not yet). But as far as sleeping in his room all night, I would try to find out what's bothering him if you can. We always put music on at night while our kids fall asleep. All of them have loved that. If we forget to do it, they always ask for it. If it's the right kind of music, it can be very calming. If not music, maybe some kind of noise maker. Sometimes kids get scared of the dark and quiet and their imaginations start to run wild with them. Since I don't know what exactly your son is anxious about, it's hard to give good advice. But try to figure it out, and explain away his fears. Good luck.

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K.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

just let him know that you love him and are there for him. Also, pray for help. Seriously, it works.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

If you now the source of anxiety then that is when you can empower him with education of fears rather then just the fear factor itself. What I mean what is he afraid of? Then go on the internet, read books revolving around those fears so he can be educated. My daughter had a huge fear of storms, tornados, earthquakes and hurricanes (which don't happen in Colorado), I got her a series of books through Scholastic and we read about them, it gave statistics and so on and she felt very empowered with knowledge and her fears subsided.
Postitive reassurance without encouraging the fear is best too.
Talk to him about what may or may not happen each day so he feels like he knows what to expect.
He has to sleep in his own room and explain why, then have him organize his room to be comfy and ask him what he would need in his room to make him feel better. A dream catcher? Monster spray? A nightlight? Whatever it is help him overcome with feeling like he has power over it.
I tell my daughter all the time sometimes the not so smart part of our brain takes over and causes us to worry when we shouldn't have to. I tell her she has control over it and to take deep breaths, think of happy thoughts.
Also I always tell both of my kids "I cannot ever promise nothing bad will ever happen, HOWEVER I am the mom and my job is to keep you safe and protect you as much as I can, So let me do the worrying and you get to be the kid and not worry so much".....
All you can do is reassure each problem
If Anxiety is inhibiting his daily life, then I would say it is time to find a good play therapist close by. It helped my daughter a ton when I was going through my divorce as kids don't always know how to explain their fears and worries. It helped her learn to talk to me in a way I could help her and helped me learn to talk to her in a way that was a comfort.

Good luck

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A.B.

answers from Provo on

When my children were nervous at night I'd give them each a flashlight for the night so they felt more empowered. If your five year old is anxious all of the time keep in mind that those who are prepared are usually less afraid. Let him prepare in advance for something that frightens him. If he's nervous about bieng left in preschool... together you can prepare for that by playing school at home. Packing a backpack with pencils a notebook and paper-maybe a small snack and sending him to preschool that way. I guess my point is...you can lovingly ask him why he feels the way he does about something and then help solve the problem in advance...prepare him for it and it will (should) empower him.

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L.A.

answers from Denver on

I have 4 kids and the oldest had anxiety. What really helped him was a homeopathic remedy from a nuturopath. That relieved about 80 percent of his symptoms. The rest was helped by a somatic therapist when he was 7. These are therapists who help kids work out their emotional issues through the body, which is where children feel anxiety. He is an older teen now, and sometimes has anxiety for which he takes his remedy. He also knows how to talk about it and identify it now. He knows that physical exercise will help relieve it too, but getting him to do it not so easy.... Anyway, the solutions you find now for your child will be tools he can use throughout his life. Good luck,
L.

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L.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Talk to your children. Find out if anyone is hurting them. L.

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L.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I talk with my little ones and give them a flashlight. I always check on them before I go to bed so if it is on I turn it off and they are fine... after awhile of this a night light worked great for them and they love their blankees-something to hold

Be careful not to foster the anxiety- I have a niece that dropped out of school because of anxiety... it is real, but fostering it to much can lead to a sort of destruction. Make sure your child knows how much you loves him... and keep his best interest in mind, but at the same time don't let him play you... or use it against you.

My oldest (4) has some anxiety issues and I have had to be very careful about how I react to things in order to teach him how to handle life... It's not always as easy as this, but I hate worms (I know pretty silly, but as a child it was to the point of having nightmares about them) but I realized my reaction to them caused his reaction to them... therefore I now pick up worms with him... I still don't like them, but it has helped him to figure out for himself what he thinks of them (he now thinks they are pretty cool). You have to be strong and love him but don't baby it...to much:)

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A.P.

answers from Pocatello on

The more secure he feels in general, the less anxiety he will feel in all areas. We keep a sleeping bag and pillow by our bed, and have always had an "open door policy" where if a little one wakes up at night and can't fall asleep, they are welcome in our room in the little bed on the floor. Just last night my 5 year old came in with his stuffed animal. He doesn't wake me up, he just climbs in his own bed and goes back to sleep. I also let my kids sleep in each other's rooms when they have sleep issues. Usually this means a bed on the sibling's floor for just in case. Sleeping near someone can make all the difference! Maybe if he sleeps better at night, he will deal better with daytime stresses.

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T.H.

answers from Provo on

Anxiety from someone so young may be showing up in part from a parent's or older sibling's anxiety too. Emotionally, anxiety stems from not trusting the flow and the process of life. At age 5, you may be able to incorporate some helpful positive self-talk. Turn it into a song, something fun for him. Same for the other person he may be mirroring. Here's the phrases to say... "I love and approve of myself and I trust the process of life. I am safe." More specific to sleep, bedtime phrases to repeat could be... "I lovingly release the day and slip into peaceful sleep, knowing tomorrow will take care of itself." Yes, I get that a 5 year old may not fully understand what he's saying, or if you are saying it for him, what you are saying. I believe their higher selves hears and understands the message and it will assist him.

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