Sleep Issues...AGAIN!

Updated on June 16, 2008
M.K. asks from Lake Orion, MI
9 answers

Hi everyone -

I am back with some sleep problems with my 17 month old. We have been going through a rough patch for about 2 months and I am not sure what else to try! We were on a great schedule for a while with 2 naps and a bedtime b/t 7:30 and 8 with a wake time of 6:30 - 7. But, then he seemed to be ready to drop a nap, so went down that road. Then it seemed he wasn't fully ready, so we were alternating naps...some days 2, some days 1. That worked for a little while, until he started getting up at 5:45 - 6 a.m. That made 1 nap a day tough b/c he can't last much past 10, otherwise he is overtired and won't sleep for more than an hour. But, even on the early waking days, he will often fight the second nap...for over an hour! I try to be flexible and watch him to find his best sleep times to reestablish a routine, but it is impossible! We have tried earlier bedtimes (just makes him wake earlier), later bedtimes (complete mess), later naps, earlier naps, 2 naps, 1 nap, long soothing, short soothing and nothing is working. He is getting more and more sleep deprived and I don't know how to help him get back on track! I am 36 weeks pregnant too, so that is making it tough on me (though I realize that is part of parenthood!). He does sleep through the night with little or no waking (never anything I have to go in his room for), he falls asleep on his own, he has a white noise machine and a dark room, he has a favorite blanket and a consistent bedtime/naptime routine. He never used to cry at naptime/bedtime but has started to recently...I think maybe because he is overtired..??

I have read every sleep book out there and I still can't seem to get into any type of good schedule...or even good sleep for him. I know many people have said this transition can be tough and take a while to work itself out, but we have been doing it for over 2 months and it just seems to be getting worse!

Has anyone ever experienced this and do you have any advice??? Any advice is welcomed!!!!

*** EDIT *** At this point, I really want to try and stick with one nap since neither is really working great - b/c would assume within the next couple months (and even by his behavior now) he will be on that road anyways. DO you guys think I would be pushing into something he isn't ready for?? I have read 18 months is a very common time to make the change, but I know all kids are different!

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B.V.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter has gone to a very large day care since she was 12 weeks old. The infant room (6 weeks to 12-14 months) goes on the child's schedule. After that, in the Toddler Transition room, all the children only take one nap after lunch. They keep them busy enough, so they don't need it (or at least that's how I looked at it). When my daughter was around 18 months, she started falling asleep right before lunch, but they kept with the schedule, and it didn't take long for her to readjust to one nap right after lunch.

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N.B.

answers from Detroit on

Is he teething? I found whenever my kids fell from their routine and had probems sleeping they were teething. I gave benadryl which worked. Too much tylonol is h*** o* their little livers.

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T.M.

answers from Detroit on

I nearly drove myself crazy trying to figure out my first daughter's sleep pattern - and then I started doing it with my second child. And all I realized is the most predictable thing about their sleep patterns is that they're completely unpredictable!! Don't worry about him being sleep deprived - that's probably not the case - and he'll sleep when he's tired - and as long as he sleeps through the night, that's what really counts! Good luck with your pregnancy & hang in there!

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T.T.

answers from Detroit on

M.,
Is he teething? I found my daughter would go through this sleep thing every couple of months when she was about to get teeth(under the gums and I did'nt even know yet.. This is the age around when most kids get their c's which are baby eye teeth. The other thing you could possibly do is try turning off the noise maker, sometimes its a distraction, we turn our daughters on at bed for ten minutes then shut it off. We use a fan on low, (occialating)afterwards. I would diffinetly skip the 2nd nap. I always kept my kids up until after lunch at this age, yes their tired in the morning, both my kids are early risers 6:30-7:00 a.m is all I ever get even on the weekends. It is what it is and you know what, bedtime is a little earlier thats where I can catch up, I think its great. Maybe with a little luck we won't have the struggle of waking them up for school? (ha ha) Well the first couple of days this will be rough and you will say, this lady is crazy, but try it. I have two scheduled children (3 1/2 and 1 1/2 and their great sleepers) I did have rough times here or there but, ultimatly what works for some does'nt always work for others. I would put him down for his nap at 12:30-1:00 p.m. after a full belly. I would do Morning breakfast,(between 7:30-8:00) then 10:00 snack, then play, music ,books ,finger paint, anything to keep him up. lunch at 12:00ish then 20mins after he's eaten then put him down, even if he doesn't look tired. I bet after 3 days it will work. This is a nice transition, I think after a couple of off nights if you stick to the routine, he will adjust and he'll be more tired at night because of the change in the nap schedule, and go to bed around 7:30- 8:00ish which will hopefully allow him to sleep till at least 7:ooish the next morning, and make you routine alot easier. I hope it works for you, I've been there done that and its not fun when your pregnant, its very hard cuz your tired and at this point its so much easier to just do what works to get your rest and thats important too, just don't get lost in a whatever routine too long, because that new little baby will be a whole new adjustment and things will change again. Good luck and stick to a routine, think future future future. Whats gonna be easier for you. I think your doing the right thing to try to change now, to make things better. I know to, every time they get on a great schedule, they change it up again, I'm sure you already heard that alot. How about a bowl of oatmeal at bed(depending on when your dinner is(5:00-6:00) depending on how good he ate, try after bath or whatever giving him a bowl of oatmeal around 7:15 then put him to bed by 7:45-8:00.. Okay I 'm done good luck.....

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N.N.

answers from Grand Rapids on

M.,

We went through the same thing with our daughter--one day she decided that taking naps was on par with being tortured. We had always used the method taught in the Baby Whisperer (pick up, put down that then became pat and reassure), but it no longer worked so we actually agreed to just let her cry it out. For me it was awful, but after 4 days of crying for her entire nap time (whether we were in the room or not) she finally gave in and accepted that no matter what, nap time was sometime right after lunch. I will say that around 11 ish she is tired and sleepy and we do quiet activities, but I don't let her fall asleep until after lunch. Consistency is the most important thing with getting them to nap well. Some days it takes longer for her to fall asleep, but she has learned that we won't take her out of the crib once she is in it. The other thing is to make sure that all adults are treating nap time the same.
Good luck!
N.

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

Hi M., 18 months was a hard nap time for my daughter. She wouldn't stay in bed, wouldn't sleep, etc. I was pregnant and it was awful. Is he in a crib still? What does he do during the day? Try to get him outside in the morning so that he is busy during the first naptime, and exhausted by the time the second nap comes along. I tried everything with mine, and really running her a lot and getting her a lot of excercise was he only thing that worked and I would often lay down with her(something I never thought that I would do) and it was nice because I would get a 15 min nap and she would fall asleep. It went on for 6 months for us... I never did really get it figured out, she just outgrew it and now at 3 she takes a nap everyday and doesn't fight me.

Maybe wake him up after an hour for the 1st nap? I did hear that it takes 2 weeks of the same schedule for their little bodies to adjust, so whatever you do, try to stick with it for 2 weeks before changing.

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L.N.

answers from Benton Harbor on

Hi M.~ Congrats on the new baby!

My 18 month old can not make it more than 2 hours before he needs a nap. Some days I am putting him down an hour after he wakes up in the morning. Could it be that he needs to go down even earlier than you've tried? Both of my youngest boys took 2 naps forever it seems...and one still does. He also may be feeling the little anxieties that you are feeling about him not sleeping well and the baby coming soon. They are amazing little radars! You are right about overtired babies...they actually have a harder time sleeping than well rested babies...contrary to what seems logical. I think for your own sanity and for the sake of schedule, you'll have to pick a routine and stick to it no matter what. Perhaps he is getting confused by the constant change. Even HE isn't sure what to expect. I think you'll find that if you have a set routine for downtime he'll resist much less. Even if he isn't sleeping, he (and you) needs quiet time, and he'll learn that it is expected and go with the flow...he just needs more flow and less change, perhaps?!?!

Good luck...it won't last forever!

~L.

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

I have never watched a clock, I count hours with my 18 month old. This helped us a great deal when we switched from 2 naps to 1. As an infant, he would be awake for 3 hours, then need a hap, awake for 3 hours, need a hap, and then make it to bedtime.

Around 15 months, we went to 5 hours. It is a little tough at first, but he was showing us signs that he needed that. (He wasn't falling asleep when we put him him in bed at night) Now, at 18 months, if he wakes up at 6, he has a nap between 11-12. If he wakes up at 7, he has a nap between 12-1 depending on his energy level, the time he fell asleep the night before, and other factors that play a role to help me know if it should be more like 12, or more like 1.

Also, as you said, a tired little one sleeps less. A well reseted little one sleeps more. If our little one is not sleeping well, we just keep moving up his bed time until he sleeps though the night and until 7:00. Lately, we were traveling a great deal and he kept waking up at 6. We went with this theory of moving up his bedtime from 8 to 7:30 and it worked. After about a week, he started sleeping until 7.

Isn't this sleeping bit a horibly unfair game that didn't come with any rules! Good luck!

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J.P.

answers from Detroit on

Hi M.,

Congrats on your expected new arrival! If you are lucky enough to have a wonderful pediatrician, like I do, you may want to speak w/them. My son started acting up when I was 36wks too. Our Dr. said that it is VERY common at this stage in pregnancy for the other child to start having some problems. He also told me that it would resolve itself once the baby is born (which it did!). In the meantime, try not to stress out too much (easier said than done, right?) I would just try to run him ragged during the day-lots of running and outdoor play and some special mommy and me time. Make sure your giving him lots of reassurance about the new baby. 17mos is old enough to understand. Your housework and errand running may fall to the wayside, but don't worry, the dirt isn't going anywhere!! LOL!

Good Luck!

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