Should I Let My Daughter Quit Soccer?

Find something she wants to do. Not every child wants to play soccer. Maybe she would rather take riding lessons, or dance lessons. soccer is a little scarey. find out what she would like to do. All kids have different interests. Just throw out some options and let her choose.

Did she ask to play before signing her up? If so, she should be responsible for finishing the season. If it was you who signed her up thinking it would be cute to watch or give her something to do, then you are the one who needs to apologize to the team for the loss of a player. Kids are forced to many times by parents to play sports they show no interest in. Kids should at least ask questions about the sport. I have two kids who love all kinds of sports, accept competitive swimming. I grew up on competitive swim teams from age 5-16, at which time I didn't approve of the coach and made the mistake of quitting after so much training because it was time-consuming and hard. I've never signed my kids up for swim team, eventhough I'd love for them to try it, but I still ask every year hoping for a different response. The problem with kids today is they want to play until it gets hard or sometimes even boring and so the parents let them "QUIT", that teaches them to be underachievers instead of high achievers. It also tells them that working with other people doesn't matter, the team was counting on everyone showing up, not just those who felt like it.

I think you should ask her what she wants to do. She said she didn't want to play anymore, but was that an "I don't want to play anymore today," or "I want off this team," statement? There are tons of social activities for kids, some competitive and some noncompetitive. I know I gave my parents a hard time because I enjoyed participating in activities until they got to the competitive level. I just wanted the joy of the activity without the pressure or stress of having to compete. We get enough of that in our normal lives without adding it if we don't have to. Let your daughter be the decision maker about what activities she is in. Let her know she only gets one pick per season and if she doesn't like it she can quit but she doesn't get a different one. That teaches her responsibility for her own choices.

My advice is to not force her to keep going. She will probably end up hating soccer. I had a similar situation with my son at age 3. It was painful making him go. So, we quit until he was 5 and then he wanted to play. Now at age 8, he plays every season and loves it.

In my general opinion, I think that 3 is too young to begin organized sports. That being said, my son turns 3 in July, and will probably start soccer a few months after that, but he is in LOVE with the sport and desperately wants to play (he's watched his 10 yr old brother and 7 yr old sister play for 2 years now). The only reason I even considered it is because he has already had so much exposure and he WANTS to do it. I think you should let her pull out if that's what she wants. Chances are she's just not ready yet, and that's completely normal for that age. Maybe try again next year, or ask her what sport she would like to do. When my kids started sports they got a choice of which one and I think that made it a lot more acceptable for them.

S.,
I would certainly expose my children to sports and the great outdoors, but I wouldn't force any particular activity on them. You don't want to make your daughter hate soccor (or any sport) all together; so, give her options and respect her opinion (age doesn't matter). She's still a valued human being and by doing so, she'll learn to trust you in ALL areas of her life. Good luck!

S., we had that exact same trouble with my 4yo son last season. He was very overwhelmed during the games. We just continued to encourage him and he made it through the season, but we did not participate in soccer this time, even though he asked to. This age is so young and we as parents should expose them to different things, but if they don't enjoy it there is not reason to force them. There will probablye come a time in each child's life where we have to teach them not to quit, but 3 yo is very young and does not make a difference. You don't want to scare her. I would try to make it another game or so and see how she does. If it does not work you can try again when she is older and find another interest for now. Good luck.

Life is too short to make her keep going if soccer is not for her. Maybe an art class for preschoolers or something slower paced. Good luck, it is tough making these decisions. {{{{hugs}}}}

I have coached soccer for 15 years, my husband for 25 years. My kids played soccer in college. I am NOT a fan of 3 yr old soccer. They are just to young for a team sports. I really beieve that starting them at the age of 5 or 6 is young enough. It is so easy to overwhlem them and that is just not a good thing. Let them grow up and be kids while they are little. I now have a newborn, 1 yr old and 2 yr old. they will not start sports on a team until they are 5 or 6. We do already kick a soccer ball with them. I also have a lit soccer field in my front pasture that is regulation size with regulation goal posts.

It is just by opinion that they need to be babies as long as they can and play sports when they are old enough to process all of the things (responsibilities) that come with team sports. good luck

Did she ask you to be put in Soccer? or did you just decide to put her in it hoping she will like it? I have put my kids in sports since they were 3. I got the same reaction in the beginning but they bugged me originally to put them in it and I didn't pay all that money for registration and uniform and sport stuff at the house to practice for nothing. of course I have more kids in sports and spent more money than you probably, so money might not be an issue with you. But nonetheless they finished the season. My daughter in the end still didn't like it but my son ened up loving it and he is in it every season. And no, dragging them out there when they don't want to be does not traumatize the children. If you really want her to stick this thru then you teach her that. She will get over it. We underestimate our kids therefore they underestimate themselves. Good luck!

Absolutely let her quit. One of our biggest jobs as parents is to step between our children and any kind of harm, and that includes feeling frightened. You will teach her an even greater lesson about the power we have as people, the power to change things that aren't working for us. We live the lives we create, and it's up to you to decide if an experience like what you saw is right for the world you want her to live in. Soccer will be there when she's a little older, too. She might love it later, but definitely not if she learns to be frightened of it now.

I would pull her until she is ready and wants to play. It is supposed to be a fun experience. I have 3 children 14,12 and 10-all different. One plays Division I classics Elite, plays at the Ymca and one quit soccer. It is important that they do it because they want too. I think there is too much pressure on kids nowadays to be in activities. There is plenty of time for that.

As an older mom who has reared 4 children, my advice comes from experience. Please follow your daughter's feelings. You already have doubts about keeping her on the team - follow your gut feelings. Help build her confidence in areas that are less competitive. She has lots of time left to participate in team sports.

Why would you force her to do it in the first place if she cried and said she was scared?

I realize that soccer games are fun for parents to go to , etc, but 3 years old ... she is still a baby and honestly... do they actually play at 3 and 4 or just run all over the field chasing each other, picking flowers, staring into space, wandering around...

I am not in favor of letting kids quit things that they ask to do, but you're the one who put her in this even though she didn't want to, so if she isn't ready for it, take her out until she asks to do it.

She really is not part of a team is she when she feels overwhelmed and scared. I think safety and knowing that her parents will not force her into doing something that really isnt all that important in the big picture is more important. If she does not want to go then maybe soccer is not for her. Maybe art classes, swimming or music is more her style. At least for now. Let her grow up a bit both physically and mentally and maybe she will be ready when she is bigger. Until then support her. I would pull her out. There are many years ahead that she can learn about team and follow through.
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My daughter just started her 2nd season of soccer this week and let me tell you your child's reaction is very normal! My husband has been coaching my daughters team and our first game last season was very much like yours this season :) We had several kids cry and run away from the ball but we kept at it, worked with the kids at practice and let them come in and out of the games at their discression. Kids at this age just don't know what to expect in the very beginning and take a while to understand and build their confidence. I wouldn't push her on the field by any means, but let her watch her teammates, cheer them on and get in there when she's ready. We did that last season and now those same kids that sat on the sidelines during the first game upset, are our most excited about getting out there and playing the game.

S., I've coached 3-4-5 year olds in soccer for the past two years.

My advice is let her quit. If she is matter-of-factly telling you she doesn't want to play, don't force her. There will be resentment and it will make the coach's job that much harder if she is forced.
Some almost-4's are ready for the social and physical demands of team sports... others are not. I'm not a big fan of pushing any age kid in sports (although I strongly encourage those "on the fence" to try it). If you've gone through two practices with the same result in your daughter's attitude, please pull her out and maybe try again next year.
Also, there's nothing wrong with going to the games and watching & cheering! Maybe you have a cheerleader/dancer on your hands :)

Fyi - my oldest (now 6) started soccer when she was 4 1/2 and although she loves the game she is not an aggressive player. My middle is now almost 4 and has played for 2 seasons - she did cry during practices the first season but she herself insisted she stay on the team because she wanted to play in the games. So, I know what you are going through!

Explain to your daughter that you understand she feels scared and that it's okay not to play. Suggest watching games and let her pick a team to cheer. When the fear of actually playing has passed, let her know that if she wants to try playing again, it will be okay to do so next season (or don't bring it up until next registration time, then ask nonchalantly if she'd like to try again).

It is completely up to you what you decide. It is your child and only you know what is best. My son is playing soccer in the same league through the YMCA. He played last fall for the first time and is now playing again. We went through the same thing a few months ago for the first few games...he would cry at home that he didn't want to go and pout and refuse to play once there. Then one day, he flipped the switch. He is a big momma's boy and we discovered that if I stayed out of his sight then he did wonderful and became quite the ball hog, but once he knew I was there it was all over. We thought that this season would be different. It started out great but then halfway through he turned back into the old child who would just stand there and not play. I guess I have to go back into hiding. He really does love it though and I was glad that we stuck it out in the beginning. I hope that my story helps a little bit.