Should I Let Him "Cry It Out"? Does It Work?

I personally do not believe in letting them cry it out. I never did that with my kids. Is he learning a new skill right now? Crawling, taking steps, eating table foods, etc? Learning a new skill will often changing their sleeping habits. Just know it is normal and will pass.
S.

The cryout method is hardest on you but get tough and do it after about 3 or 4 days it should be working.

The old say lol. You know what you do what you feel is nessasary for your child. I get so bent out of shape when people tell you dont pick them up dont do this and that. You are the mom they arent and you know your child when we dont. the point is do what you feel is right not what others do. I can tell you what i think though. Teething or nightmares. Some children wake up alot to be held at about 4 mos to a year. because they are teething. its that time for you right now im sure. give him a warm washcloth to chew on and see if that helps. also babies can have nightmares just like us their little brains work mysteriously. know one knows exactly why but it can happen. also he might just want to be held because he wants to. I can tell you this my kids are older now but my 6 year old still jumps in my bed during the night not always but sometimes and i let her be. she just wants to be close to me and dad and there is nothing wrong with that. so if it make him feel better and you just keep doing what you are doing. Sorry but i just get upset when people say that. good luck and just keep loving him lots because they do grow up fast.
J.

Hi-
One thing you might try instead of picking him up when he wakes in the middle of the night is just going to his bedside and be with him. Offer him your presence and your comforting tone, pat his back, speak to him softly to let him know he is not alone, but just don't pick him up. Wait until he falls asleep. If that works, then you can start being with him when he wakes, but just a bit further away - half way across the room, near the door, and so on. It might take several nights, or even a couple weeks. The idea is to teach him to self soothe to fall back asleep rather than completely rely on you every time he wakes up.

As far as his waking early, you may want to reconsider his bedtime. Maybe put him down an hour later at night?
Good luck!

I also have a 10 month old little boy. He was sleeping through the night when he was 10 weeks and at around 9 or 9 1/2 months he has started waking up in the middle of the night. I have never just let him cry it out. I am also a stay home mom so for me it wouldn't matter if I did let him but my husband works and I am afraid of him not getting sleep when he has to go to work. I go in his room and pick him up and rock or walk with him and usually he calms down within 10 or 15 minutes and I put him back down and he goes back to sleep other times he will not let me put him down or I get out of the room and it starts over again. I end up giving him a bottle and then he calms down enough to go back to sleep. My son is teething really bad as I'm sure yours is too. That is probably the biggest thing. The other thing for you is he might be hungry, which usually seems like the problem for my son. He is growing and maybe he just didn't eat enough for supper and it didn't tide him over. It is so hard to tell when they can't tell you what is wrong. In my mind you are doing what you do and what works. When my husband is out of town I try to do the cry out thing but I can't take it. Like someone else said I feel like I am a bad mother. Also like someone else said you have to do what you think is right for your son and your family. If going in there and soothing him works then it is fine. I know you are probably afraid of him getting attached to you putting them back to sleep but as they get older then you can start weining off the going in there all the time. But you have to remember he is still a baby. Good luck and I hope you find the right thing for you.

I've never been a fan of the "cry it out" business. These babies are only babies once and they need to know their moms (and dads) are there for them. He is probably crying for some other reason (like others mentioned maybe teeth). Or he just wants your comfort. He's only 10 months old. I still go to see what my daughter needs when she cries or calls for me in the night and she just turned three. I will go in there, see what she says, usually it's just for something to drink and she's back to sleep-no problem. Or if she's had a bad dream I might lay with her for a few minutes and then tell her I'm going back to my room to sleep. She has no long-term negative effects from me not letting her cry it out.
Don't get me wrong, we've tried it, but it just seemed to waste time and we all ended up feeling miserable after.
Good luck!
C.

I went through this recently with my 17 month old daughter. I would go into her room and be in there for 4 hours some nights because she wouldnt let me lay her back down. What I started to do is to let her fuss for a little while and then go in if needed. If she woke up screaming I go in right away figuring she is had a bad dream or is scared. Just wait a little bit longer each night. I wish I would have figured this out sooner because I wasted all those nights not sleeping and Im 6 months pregnant so it was starting to wear on me. Also, if he is waking up in the morning and playing in his crib without you then let him play and go back to sleep. I wouldnt take him out if he is happy. I think all kids go through this especially when they are teething or possibly getting sick. Hopefully this helps. It will get better.

In my experiance letting my son cry it out was not worth it. I had read up on letting him cry for five min and then comfort him by talking then go for ten min ect. My son was also only 10 months but with in one min of leaving him he would get so upset that he would vomit all over. Then I would have to bath him and change the sheets and clean the carpet and then start over. Instead I put him in his crib after having a sippy cup of warm milk and read to him untill he fell asleep usally from 9:30 untill 10:00. Then he sleeps until 6am, and I feel that eight hours is pretty good. Now he is 14months and sleeps in his own toddler bed I still read to him for about a half hour, but he isn't trying to jump out of bed or anything either.
I'm not against letting them cry it out I think it is really important that your family finds a way for every one to get enough sleep. Don't feel like you are doing something wrong if it doesn't work for you. You will just have to keep trying things untill you find what is best for your family.
Good Luck!
A.

A.-
I recently asked the same question and I got a lot of people saying it was ok to let them cry it out. We did that for 2 days and it was awful. The third night, everytime we even left the room (while he was awake and playing) he would cry. I said I would never do that again. And we didn't. We are trying gradually to get him to fall asleep on his own and we don't respond as quickly during his night wakings. He falls asleep now in our arms but we put him down in his crib before he's fully asleep. And at night when he cries, we wait a minute or two before we go in and most of the time he falls back to sleep. I would say that it's probably just a stage he's going through and he just wants to see what your limits are. Good luck.

I have a 1 year old and he had the same problem. I was trying to figure out why this was happening, then I found out he was getting more teeth. Maybe try feeling his gums and if they are swallen put some baby orelgel on the swollen area and give him a bottle he should be out in no time. This is what I did with both my boys. It worked like a charm.

K.

Yes it does work... I used to put my son to bed at night by laying down with him in the bed until he feel asleep. By the time he was about 10 months old he eventually needed me to do that every night, and I started to feel like I HAD to do that for him. My husband, then boyfriend, told me STOP!!! LOL! I just couldn't. But after about two weeks of having to work nights, my boyfriend was putting him to bed before I got home, and would just let him fall asleep on his own. He made it work by not spoiling him the way that I was. You just need to learn how to beat the habit of babying your baby. It's really hard, VERY HARD esspecially for such a proud mother, but it takes work on both parts. Good luck!!!

I had the same problem with my son very recently. He will be one year old in 5 days and we still have a few mornings here there where he wakes up for an hour then goes right back to bed. At first when he would wake up in the middle of the night I would go in and hold him just standing next to the crib for only about a minute or so and comfort him. But after a few nights of that I decided to let him work it out himself. After a few nights of not going in when he woke up he put himself back to sleep on his own. As far as the early mornings go I haven't found a good solution for that yet. Sometimes I don't go get him then either and he'll put himself back to sleep within about 15-20 minutes or so, but sometimes I go get him and we eat a little and play a little then go back to bed. He goes to bed around the same time each night but I have been finding that the more he eats for dinner the later he sleeps in the morning. I don't know if that will help you at all. Good luck and hang in there.

If you want to stop a holding/rocking habit from forming or to break the habit that may have already started then let him cry it out. Who knows how long it will take for him to fall asleep. I had some crib toys to amuse my daughter but if she wanted to be held and rocked I'd do it for a short period of time and then after putting her in her crib and she startedto cry I'd pick her up and rock her again. Once she fell asleep on me she'd wake once I put her down in the crib. I was so exhausted that I gave up and let her cry. We'd check in every 10-15 minutes to make sure she wasn't poopy, wet, too hot, or too cold etc. Sometimes I felt that there must be a better way or something else because I felt so bad letting her cry like that. My doc. recommended letting her cry to establish good sleep habits. My daughter had issues with transferring to a toddler bed at 22 months and we had to shut her in her room and let her cry. Sometimes she'd cry for 2 hours! Good luck.

Im a mom of a 23 month old little girl. I was a single mom and had sorta the same problem. Never really got an answer or solved the problem though. I can just tell you I can relate. My situation was that I have always rocked her to sleep and as she got older and bigger, it took longer for her to get to sleep and she couldn't fit in my arms or lap comfortably. I would cry and cry when I would just put her in her crib to "cry it out." I don't know, I sometimes think that it has something to do with being a single mom or kinda raising a child on your own. (you said your boyfriend isn't around alot) I guess my advice would be to do what is comfortable for you. Try the letting him cry. This is what someone told me. Put him in the crib and time it for 10 mins and then go check on him. If he's still up, then see what you can do.
But don't let him have play time. keep the lights down or off. let him know it is bedtime still. maybe feed him a little more at nite?
let me know if you come up with anything. good luck.

I have been experiencing the exact same thing with my 11 month old. This has gone on for about a week and a half now and finally last night, I put him in the crib when he was really tired and he cried for about 5-10 minutes (a tired cry) and then he fell asleep and slept through the night! I also gave him 7 ounces of formula before he went to bed. Hunger could be a factor too.

Before this, he would cry and cry and sit and stand up in his crib. I comforted him and that was what he wanted.

I think my little boy goes through this when he is teething. Maybe your little boy is teething too? Hang in there; it'll get better and you'll get back to getting your sleep too!

At that age, you can let your son cry it out with out worrying about any effects. We had a similar issue with my son, except he started not even going to sleep, he'd sit there for 2 hourse and stay awake, just to make sure I was there and after trying everything else, crying it out was the last resort and the only thing we could do. First night was the hardest, second night was better and by the 3rd or 4th night he didn't wake up anymore. And if he did, he put himself back to sleep with out crying.

The only suggestions, I'd try before the cry it out is...do yo have a night light in the room (if not maybe he's scared of the dark alone) and/or how about a noise maker. We bought a $20 sound machine, we turn it to the waterfall mode and it's just like white noise. If some noise is waking him up, maybe that'll drown the noise out and he won't wake up.

Otherwise, it sounds like your son wants a playmate in the middle of the night, or just want's to say hi to mommy like mine did. We did the full cold turkey cry it out where we didn't go in at all. First night I think he cried for a over an hour, second night it was 45 minutes, after that 20 then nothing. I know as a mother it sounds harsh to let your child cry, but as I said we tried EVERYTHING else and this is the only thing that worked for us. Occasionally he wakes up now, but not every night and not every week either. And I have noticed absolutely no differences in how my son acts toward us. He's still the loving happy go lucky, ham-it-up little boy he was when I'd go in and try to get him down.

Check his teeth. Get some baby tylenol and anbesol and see if that helps. Deciding to let him "cry it out" is up to you. There is no right or wrong thing. I've never let my children cry themselves to sleep and my 3.5 year old, depsite some early struggles with sleep, now sleeps with no problems. You have to do what's right for you and just disregard the other advice that doesn't feel right. I drove myself crazy with my first baby because he wasn't sleeping through the night and everyone told me I should just let him cry. I felt like a bad mother for picking him up and only tried letting him cry it out once. That led to him vomitting all over himself and the bed because he worked himself up to such a frenzy. That also made me feel like a bad mother.

If you want to let your son cry himself to sleep, then do it. If you can't bear doing that, then don't feel guilty about it.
You are his mother and you are the only one who has to live with your decisions so you should do what feels right for you!