My little guy is 18 months old and is just so precious to me. He seems to have some quirks about him that I don't know if I should be concerned about or not, but I am. Such as he still has no concept of danger. He takes notice of things that are hot, like food, but goes right for the oven. We live in an apartment building with a chain link fenced yard and the "landing" outside the building is raised up from the basement level apartments. If someone opens or leaves open the fence door when he is out he will bolt out into the street without thinking twice. Have also seen his climb under or around part of the fence to get out! Will also try to walk off the ledge on the landing that drops down to lower apartments (again with no thought). Tries to open our screen door to take off (we live in an apt that is upstairs and the stairs are outside with a railing) and I am terrified of him figuring out how to open the screen door and falling down the steps or through the bars of the railing at the top of the stairs. He is very expressive with his facial expressions and vocalizations, but can only say mama and dada, and dada with varying emphasis on the sounds (sounds like da die, da dat, dat dat etc.) He is CONSTANTLY getting into everything except toys, and the only thing that holds his attention for more than a minute or two is dishes and escaping. When he is doing something unsafe I tell him "stop" or "no" to which he doesn't acknowledge i'm saying anything at first. Then he'll look at my face as if he's trying to read it and goes back to what he was doing. When I grab his hand and move it away he will screech and scream and cry but will still keep doing it, as if its an obsession he can't stop. I will then move him away from the "activity" entirely but he will come right back.
I am wondering if this is just normal age appropriate behavior or not? And whether it is or isn't I NEED some ideas on how to best keep him safe and take care of his individual needs. I have asked the apartment building property owner to allow me to put up safety devices on the railing going up our stairs and around our doorway railing, and on our screen door and was told I may NOT! Also asked if they could fix the broken fence and was told NO. Any laws on my side on this?? I don't like having to keep him cooped up inside because property isn't safe : (
Sounds perfectly normal to me. It's a whole new phase of testing boundaries. This is why some people put toddlers on leashes when they go out. I had to with my son else he would have run off and I was afraid I'd never be able to find him again. It will get better with time, but you have to watch them like a hawk every minute.
Your child has just discovered his own autonomy and is extremely curious about and excited by the world.
You have to come up with ways to stay right on top of him and as much as possible, distract him from his intent with something more fun or interesting. But in cases where he won't be distracted, you have to keep saying no, explaining simply, and redirecting him even when he screams at you.
In general, "Look what I have!" and other exciting and interesting distractions will make your life easier if you can manage to have a few in reserve.
I agree with the person who said you need baby gates over your doorway/ledges.
For some situations you can try one of those toddler leashes if you're worried about losing him in a crowd or the relative level of danger surrounding him being extremely high.
But unfortunately you've reached the stage where you just can't take your eyes off of him at all, and are going to have to adapt your life to some extent to work around that.
Yep, perfectly normal 18 months old. That's why they make child proofing stuff and toddler leashes...they get themselves into all kinds of trouble exploring.
Even at 2.5 my daughter is not allowed alone in our fully fenced yard. they won't have a good concept about staying out of dangerous situations until they are closer to 4 or 5 depending on your child.
If you are concerned about him opening your doors, keep them LOCKED.
Make the property, even if it's a rental, as safe as possible. We fixed our fence on our rental property at our own cost, because it was important to us. If you cannot make the property safe, take him to a park or playground for outside play.
In your apartment you can use gates and other childproofing equipent to make it safer. Tension gates are a bit more of a hassle than the screw in the wall types, but they do not cause damage to your walls. If you can't screw cabinet locks in your cabinets, use refrigerator type locks on them, They glue on with an adhesive strip that comes off clean later.
If you go to a store that sells childproofing supplies, take a list of "problem areas" and ask staff to help you pick items.
Good luck!
Even if you were at a playground, it will not be fenced in.. That is why parents are even more exhausted after going to the park than their kids. You cannot just let him run around on his own you are going to have to keep on him, but continue to say , stop!. Hot! No! whatever.. The other thing is to tell him, "Stop, we do not leave the yard". "You can play over here by the sand box." or wherever he is supposed to be. . You can say "Hot, we do not touch the oven. You can touch the refrigerator. You may have to put up a safety gate in front of the kitchen entry and also across the screen door he can push trough a screen door after he weakens the screen enough.
He just sounds like a very bright active child who is loving his freedom..
His verbal skills sound fine. Just keep talking to him. Keep reading to him. Play music with words when he is awake and about to go to sleep.
If you are worried about his hearing. Stand in another room and call him. If he does not come to you, stand in the same room behind him, when hie is not aware of you and call him again.. If he does not respond, Make a really loud sound like popping a balloon or blowing a whistle. Don't drop anything on the floor, he will feel the vibration. . This will let you know if that is a problem/. I bet he is right on schedule..
Most of it sounds normal to me. But the way he doesn't respond, then look at your face, and then go back to what he is doing (although that part is normal toddler behavior), combined with only 2 words you can recognize, could point to a hearing problem. It might be good to have his hearing checked.
Hi Sandy - wow! You have your hands full!
First off, I really cant believe your apt. manager - what a wacko. I would put up as much as you can in the way of spring-loaded gates, etc. to make your area as safe as it can be. It wont be perfect but better. Also - keep on that apt. manager. If he isnt cooperating, go up to food chain for assistance. Take pictures of all the fence areas in need of repair and other danger zones.
As far as your child's behavior - he sounds a lot like my youngest when he was that age. He would just bolt off without regard to where we were and just get into everything. My son has a speech delay so I see a flag there with your son - he should have at least 50 understandable words right now. Did you know you can have him tested? Child Find is a program that helps to identify and provide treatment for kids with any kind of speech or developmental delay. It's a law that every state have a program. We had our son tested and they also checked his hearing - for free - through the program. He qualified and we met with a speech therapist in our home until he was 3 and now he is in a Preschool setting at our home school through Child Find.
Larimer County Child Find
###-###-####
JFK Center in Denver
###-###-####
Your son sounds 100% normal to me! And he sounds like a really active boy!
The fact that he is trying to read your face is enough to tell me he does not have any type of social disorder. Yet, he is still a bit too young to consistently respond to a verbal command. At this point, your strongest tool for keeping him out of trouble is distraction and re-direction. When you see him headed the "wrong way," show him the airplane in the air, throw him a ball, or grab one of his trucks and start making it talk. He will be distracted and you can get him to start doing/playing with something more acceptable.
Sorry this is going to be kind of long...Welcome to toddler-hood! He sounds like a normal 18 month old. It's rough especially when you have one that does nothing but test the waters! First, get a temporary gate for inside the front door/screen door, they make some that are supposed to be difficult to climb but some will still find a way, it will at least slow him down. Try Babies R Us for the biggest variety. If he's able to open the oven door, get a lock, they're available at Home Depot, Babies R Us etc.
As far as his lack of interest in his toys, try this, pack several in a bin while he's sleeping and put it in a closet for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks pull them back out and switch them out with some of the toys that you previously left out and continue doing this every 2 or 3 weeks, it should create interest in them again. Keep the ones out that you know are absolute favorites.
With the whole fence thing, I'd talk to the property owners again, if they again refuse to fix the fence I'd do as the other poster said and talk to the city the worst they'll tell you is "no" but it's worth looking into to see if it's something that can be enforced.
When it comes to talking, they all do it at different ages, my oldest was talking by 11 months but didn't walk till he was 15 months. My brother didn't talk until he was about 19 months, did it in a full sentence and hasn't shut up since {he's now 30 ;-)}. What does his doctor say about it?
Lastly, hang in there, he's exploring his world and isn't going to slow down for anyone or anything. We've all been there at some point in some way and can tell you, you'll make it through it a little worse for the wear, bumps and bruises included but it'll all be ok in the end!
He sounds age appropriate to me! Just keep on reminding him to be safe and watching him like a hawk! If you put a broom handle or stick in a sliding door track, that will prevent him from opening it. As far as what the landlord needs to do/ or allow you to do for safety, you should contact your city or county's building and planning department to find out wht the laws and regulations are. You should be able to put a hook or latch on your screen door to keep your son from opening it- and a new door is not that costly in the scheme of things if your landlord wants to charge you for fixing it when you move out.
Sounds like you have a normal, active and curious 18 month old! My oldest used to bolt for the parking lots, run towards running trains, etc. He kept me on my toes. I know it can be exhausting, but they do eventually grow out of it. As far as the language, if you are concerned, you can get him tested for free at you school district's child find. They test for a wide range of things. I also did this for my oldest, because I had a feeling he wasn't hearing well, and sure enough he couldn't-- but it was fluid in his ears and after antibiotics it cleared up. Good luck!
Your son sounds very normal to me. I have 18 month old twin boys, and they like to get into everything.
Our boys have developed some boundaries because we've been teaching them from the moment they started moving. They listen pretty well, and if they're getting into something they're not supposed to, we can give them "the look" and they'll move on.
What we did to get to this point was teach/discipline with consistency. Any time they did something we didn't want them to do or get into, we'd put them in "timeout". We'd sit behind them and hold them in place for one minute (general rule is supposed to be a minute per year of age). Were there times they'd go right back to doing what they just were? Absolutely. But, we'd grab them and put them in timeout again. They key is consistency. We have to do it every single time.
Now, this hasn't stopped them from trying to get into things we don't want them in, but it has taught them to listen to mom and dad the FIRST time we tell them something. I am amazed that my kids will go running to an open door, they will stop if I firmly tell them to stop, please. It takes patience and energy, but is so worth it!
My daughter is a little daredevil! She climbs everything, she likes to stand on the arm of the couch and free fall onto the cushions, scares me half to death!!! she loves the feeling of falling!!!! she does it where ever she can!!! She also runs from me at the store, they are just testing their boundaries and they are curious little things! I think it is totally normal at that age. She will be 2 this month and I think she is finally understanding danger, but I have to watch her and catch her in the act!!
As for your apt! There has got to be some kind of agency that checks those places out, talk to them!!! or move!!
First off, your son does not seem off at all to me. He is quite young and these things you are experiencing sound like he is probably more on the intelligent and strong-willed side, not the abnormal side. If I were you, I would take him to see the doc to be sure or ask at his next well baby visit. You just never know and as a mother you have the best instincts about your child.
As far as your apartment building, GOOD GRIEF! You would think they would want to keep the possibility of a law suit away. Why don't you just give the police department a call and ask them. They typically know what the management can and cannot do.
Good luck!
Tell your landlord that letting you put up safety devices is a lot cheaper than a future lawsuit if something bad happened.......... Bwahahaha!
