Seperation Anxiety - Surprise,AZ

I would not let her first time being away from you start at the Gym. No matter what the staff says, kids are not their first priority.
Find a family friend whom she knows, and will go to. It is ok to take just one child to the gym with you. Also, remember to wash your son's hands after leaving the gym daycare. I have 5 kids, 2 of which area not yet in school, and mine would come home with so many sicknesses, that I found an alternative place to leave them when I needed the gym.

good luck and remember it isn't wrong to want to be with mommy. You only have 18 years of that anyhow..

My daughter is younger than yours (11 months) but she has major separation anxiety. My oldest only experienced it for a short time. I rarely leave my youngest and I know that's why she has such a hard time being away from me. The gym really isn't the place to help her get over her fears. It's a strange place run by strangers. All she thinks is that mommy is leaving her in this big scary place with big scary people. I would suggest that you start by leaving her with your husband. Go shopping and see how she does with daddy in her own environment. Then have someone come to your house to watch both your kids. The next time, drop her off at a friend or family member's house. If she does ok, the next time hire a babysitter. Stay away a little longer each time you leave her, providing she's doing ok with you being gone. Before you leave her, get her engrossed in a toy or game with the person that's going to be watching her. Once she's distracted, leave. Don't make it a big drawn out goodbye. She's also old enough that you could kind of prep her during the day. "Mommy's going to go bye bye for a little bit today. You're going to stay with DADDY! Won't that be FUN! You guys are going to have so much fun!!!" Really hype it up! She'll feed off of your energy. Even if she says No, it won't be fun..just keep right on with the positive energy.
Tell whomever is going to watch her that there might be some tears when she realizes that you're gone. You don't want to leave an unsuspescting friend or family member with a toddler that's going to cry when she realizes Mommy's not there. It might take some work, and a lot of patience, but she'll soon realize that you're coming home and not leaving her forever.

While I agree that the gym daycare probably isn't going to give you the smoothest transition, I wanted to let you know that there is a good chance that you'd be experiencing this to a certain degree even if your child had been in a daycare from the beginning.

My daughter had been going to the same daycare, with the same primary care providers since she was ten weeks old...and she still had some serious separation anxiety between 18-24 months. Every day there was a big scene. Of course, because it was a familiar place, her episode only lasted a few minutes.

No matter how you decide to do it...gym...or daddy...or family friend: 1) Warn your daughter that it is going to happen. Up until this point, when I had to travel on business, I would just go. Now it became important that I give her a little warning and let her know something was coming up. 2) No matter how you are feeling, stay calm and happy. 3) Make it short and sweet and reassuring that you will return. 4) Remind her when you return that you came back.

Good luck. Probably not the last time you'll face this.

I would start by having a friend or family member watch her that does not have other children to tend to so they can let her cry if that is what she needs to do. Once you come and go a few times she should start to understand that 1: her tears are not going to keep you from going, and 2: you will be back. Unfortunately, what she probably learned so far is that if she cries load and hard enough the care giver will go get you and make you take her, that lesson know has to be undone.

Hi Mom,

I know a great book that might help you with this this for little ones "The Kissing Hand" CK it out or buy the paper back story book at local library. It is under $10 I think. Also, you might send a photo of you and Daddy with her even for a short time while you work out, this is often comforting to little ones not used to leaving mommy for the 1st few times. Good Luck

Talk to her about it before you go and leave her there. Play it up, make it sound like she will have tons of fun and will meet new friends. Tell her how long she will be there and what she can do while she is there. Don't let her see that you are worried about her. Walk in, drop her off and leave. Don't go back in or it will just make it worse. It will take some time of her getting used to it. From my experience it seems that the moms are more stressed about it than the child is. Usually the child will stop after a few minutes. If the provider came to get you after 10 minutes then I think they need more training to be able to handle that. Maybe you can call to find out which providers work at which days/times and take your kids during a time when the provider is a more experienced one.

All I can tell you is what I did to get my daughter to accept being in the church nursery for an hour, once a week.

*Go in with her and sit quietly (or play with toys) until she feels comfotable enough to stop clinging to you and go play by herself. This could take 5 mins or an hour, but it's important that she gets to that point.

*Once she's sufficiently distracted, sneak out. It sounds terrible, but just try it.

*Check up on her every 15 mins or so (peeking only) and if she's really upset, go back in and spend more time with her before sneaking out again. Gradually extend the time you stay away.

She just needs to learn that it's okay for mommy to leave because she'll always come back. This process could take several days, so stick with it. The good news is that once she accepts it, she'll be good as gold and most likely will not regress.