Seperation Anxiety - South Point,OH

I agree with what Kelly S said. someone should distract him after you said your goodbye! I used to babysit when I was a kid. Later I helped out in our church nursery, then worked for a daycare center. I have found that the one thing that helps is to have the same person meet him when you come in. If your son can talk and say his name, or how old he is, or what he likes. talking to him and asking him things gets his mind off mommy and sometimes helps to calm them down. Also a lot of hugs and somebody to hang with helps. He needs to know three things. One: that your are coming back, Two: That he will be ok, and Three: You will be fine. I tell you this because thats the three things my seven yr old son worries about whenever I leave him.

I used to teach preschoolers at my church and this is an issue for almost all moms. Some kids seem to take things in stride while others have major meltdowns. My daughter took things in stride while my son had meltdowns. One of the things that really helped my son was that we put a small picture album in his bag. We included individual pictures of all members of the family, including pets and pictures of the family. We would look at the book before going to his class room and put all of the focus on the fact that mommy was coming bag. I would also leave a set of keys (not the real ones) which we said were the car keys. I would tell my son to hold onto the keys so it would give him a tangiable way/thing to know that mommy wasn't going to leave him forever and that I was coming back. We also included a special snack and special toy that he woould only get while we were at church which gave him something to look forward to. Hope this helps.

This is one thing that I can blame on a "phase" with 100% assurance. Both of my kids went through this, and it was around that age. They actually say, if you read about separation anxiety that it can start as early as nine months, but usually starts later than that. If you can just hang in there, it will pass. Just make sure that you constantly try to attempt to do things still. Don't stop going to church and other activities where you leave your child under someone else's care, just keep trying. It will get better, and your child will get more and more used to being away from you. Both of my kids pretty much suddenly got over the anxiety of being away from me, and I am sure that yours will too.

can you go to a lapsit or storytime at your library? or just sit in the nursery a few minutes before leaving maybe, that would calm him enough. not sure how else since part of it is the age he is at. hope you can find a solution to help

Hello, A.! I don't have any solutions, but I wanted to let you know that my son which just turned 3, has separation anxiety, and is highly sensitive.
When I say highly sensitive, I mean if he is in a group of people (this is usually around adults), and if someone or everyone starts laughing(and of course, they aren't laughing at him), he starts crying and throws himself on the floor because he is sooo embarrased!
For Sunday School, my husband or I have to stay with him all or most of the class time just so he'll stay in there. During this time, we Have to work with him to keep him in the class. He loves to interact with other kids, but gets embarrassed with loud laughter, etc. when adults are around.
Our church, at the present, doesn't have a nursery like you and others are describing where he can be around other kids during church. So usually my husband stays home with him on the Sunday night service, so I can attend the evening service.
The only thing I know to do is continue what I'm doing until he comes through this. I also having hope that with his new brother coming soon, that this will help him with this phase.
I hope you the best, hang in there!

It is totally typical for a child of your sons age to have seperation anxeity - the one thing I know that worked for me is that you be consistent. Keep going to church and if they page you out then the next week put him back in the nursery. Don't give up. And if the nursery knows that he has a hard time with being away from you, they can try and distract him and instead of 10 min give him 15 before they come and get you. I work in a church nursery and this is what we do. After probably 4-6 times of going he will get the hang of it and last in the nursery longer. Just be consitent with him and keep putting him in there. Good luck!!

i am a believer in not letting the child win in situations like that....but you also don't want them to feel abandoned etc. Maybe try to find a mommy and me play group or go to a park with other children and mothers. Stay with him and see if he will beging to venture off a bit without you. Let him gain the ability to play in a group. As for Church, I wouldn't stop going. Take him, you may have to stay with him through the service the first few times. Try to leave for a short time and legthen it as you can. This way, he isn't learing that if he throws a big enough fit, mommy won't leave him there, yet learning that mommy will always come back for him and she is near by.

Separation anxiety happens to the best of them. It's just a part of growing up. When you leave him, give him a kiss and a hug and tell him you'll be back, then put him down and leave. No long goodbyes...that just makes it worse. When he's with you, play peekaboo with him alot. It teaches object permanency. He'll learn that just because he can't see it doesn't mean it's not there. With young children like that, they think that if they can't see you, you suddenly don't exist...that can be frightening for a baby that loves mommy so much. Cover your eyes, say "where is Caleb?" then take your hands away, look suprised and say "there you are!" Then cover his eyes and say "where is mommy?", remove his hands from his eyes and say "here I am!" When you're playing, run out of the room and hide around the corner and say "where is mommy? come find mommy" and when he finds you say "boo...here I am" and laugh. This teaches him that even though he can't see you...you're not gone forever...he will find you again. And keep in mind that he will get over this...they all do.