Separation Anxiety in Toddler - Need Ideas of How to Help Him...

Sounds to me something happened their. kids do get mommy sick and usually it goes away. But if he's doing it all day then something is going on. maybe hes getting ignored or maybe another kid did something to him. if it keeps up and dont stop i would bring him somewhere else. kids dont cry for no reason. Im not trying to scare you but i would really find out if something happened why he was there. never be to trustfull if you know what i mean. But then again he might just not like it there. just ask him if anything happened or if he likes it there. kids arent dumb if you know what i mean. sometimes you just can never make a kid happy lol. i wish you luck.
J.

All the ideas you have are great. The only thing that I would say is try not to have cuddletime before you take him to the sitter's. Because he misses moments like that when you're not there. My son is a big Momma's boy too. I don't even like that term, but my husband uses it all the time. LOL! But it's true. I've spoiled him. He doesn't miss me much when I'm away for too long, and I can't really give you my magic secret, cuz I'm not sure what it is. LOL. I do often tell him about times well share once we get back home... Like storytime with mommy, and saying that we'll do that if he's a good boy at the sitters. At almost two years old it's almost hard for them to get used to consenquences of not being good, but you have to start at some point and this is a great time. Keep your game face on though and be strong enough for the both of you. Hope all goes well. One more thing... I'm sure anything you try wont happen with complete success all in one day, just keep doing what you're doing, and I hope you put a little thought into what I said about the PreSitter cuddletime. It will take time, and he is getting older. That's the good news! (sometimes!!!) LOL!

Hi H....I am mother or 4 boys and have been doing daycare for 14 years and have taken care of all kinds of children. It sounds to me that maybe one day a week isn't enough time for your son to establish a routine and get used to being away from you. Most kids will adjust within a couple of weeks when they are somewhere consistantly. Maybe you would like to try and have a couple mornings where he could go to just to play and give yourself some freetime. If he still doesn't adjust I would start questioning if something is happening there. Or if he isn't getting along with another child.(THat is very common) It is possilbe that he just doesn't like it there... I had one child that just didn't like my house.( He started as an infant and left when he was two)...Nothing I did or his mother did worked..(Although he was fine when his mom was over...we were friends and I had watched his sister for years) He would cry if we tried to give him a toy to play with, he didn't want to do anything. I ended up having his mom try another place and he did perfectly fine. Just something about my environment that he didn't like.....Nothing worked....So just keep everything in perspective and try all you can.....It could be just a phase that he has to work through on his own! Good luck!

I haven't ever had any experience with this at all because I'm at home with my kids but I know that my foster kids love having a picture of their Mom to look at when they miss her.
Maybe try sending a picture of you or a family picture with him.
Good luck,
J.

I had a three year old who came for daycare one day per week. For the entire year that he attended that one day per week he never ate a thing. His mom was aware with it and accepted it. He would drink his milk for breakfast, lunch and snack, but he never ate a thing.

I had a three year old who up until the time she came to daycare stayed home with mom. She cried every day for most of the day for three weeks. One thing that helped her was a familiar movie, but unfortunately when the movie was over she became upset again. She attended 5 days per week and adjusted well after the three week time frame.

What I'm trying to convey is one day per week might be too short a period of time for him to adjust to. I'm not a child development expert, I only have my own experience to draw upon. As he gets older, he will adjust to the time away from you. For now, the things you have planned to help him sound good. Make sure he has something familiar and comforting with him, maybe something that smells like you or a picture of you he can look at when he's feeling sad.

I know it's hard for kids to separeate at this age, I've been there a few times my self. I'd like to suggest a book you can read together: The Kissing Hand (Don't know the Authers name off hand but you can find it at most book retailers and the library) It has Raccoons if that helps in identifying.

Sending a samll picture of you and him would be a great idea too.

Hi H.,

I think you are doing a great job in thinking creatively for ways to help your son. The only thing that comes to mind is how YOU feel about the whole thing. That is, are you really clear that your work situation is the right thing for you? Kids pick up on our emotions, even (or especially) the ones that are not spoken out loud. For example, you may have returned to work for a variety of reasons but may have mixed feelings about it.

Maybe you really miss your children while you are at work or maybe you really don't and feel guilty about that. I find that if I get really super clear with myself about the choices I make, that helps my family accept what I am doing more easily. Personally, I support moms who make whatever choices work for them, so this is message is in NO way judging anything. As I said, I admire your williingness to be so thoughtful around helping your children feel most comfortable and cared for.

Good luck!
R.

PS All that aside, which may be completely irrelevant to your situation, I would agree that one day per week is likely not enough time to establish a comfortable routine. I wonder if you might be able to do 2 days a week, even if that means you have some time to yourself! :)

How long does it take you to drop him off? I ask this because I have a 1 yr old who comes to my house a few days a week for 5 to 8 hrs each and if her mother takes more than 5-10 mins saying good-bye, I have a screaming-meme on my hands for the rest of the time she is here. This is a young mother who is still learning her way but I have to practically kick her out so her daughter doesn't have such an emotional roller coaster of a day. This long good-bye thing prolongs the agony for both the child and the mother and that's not right for either of them.

On the other side of the coin, there maybe something happening at this person's house. When my son was 2 yrs old, I worked outside the home for 5 hrs a day and left my son and 9 yr old daughter with whom I thought was a friend. After 2 months, I found out that this person had told my daughter's summer school not to call me 1st only her, but she ignored my son to the point of not even changing his daipers. Her son would also hit mine and he was 2 yrs OLDER. My daughter never said anything because this person convinced her that SHE loved her more than I did and the proof was how much attention my daughter got at her house compared to our house.

Maybe trying another persons house 1 week and see if you get the same situation with your son? But also keep you drop off time to the bare minimum. A hug, a kiss, I love you and See you soon is enough. Good luck!

Sounds to me like you already have some pretty good ideas. The only other thing I would suggest is maybe talking with your son to see if maybe he is having a problem with one of the other children or something like that.