Seeking Advise About Kids Sleeping in Bed with Mom and Dad in Bed

Dear A.,

"The No-Cry Sleep Solution" is an amazing book which will help you with this situation! Please get a copy ASAP! The author, Elizabeth Pantley, who is a mom of four, has a website (www.pantley.com). Her e-mail is ____@____.com and she will e-mail you if you write to her for help. Her suggestions do work and do not involve letting your son cry alone and feel abandoned.

I did not use a pacifier for my baby; she's a blanky baby. I don't advocate of taking away comfort objects from little ones. Personally I'd rather have her feel secure with a transitional object of her choice than feel anxious or replacing it with behavior or an object that is harmful. I just make sure we have lots of her favorite blankies around.
She'll move on when she's ready. My stuffed kittycat is still in my bedroom and I had a hard time when I quit smoking in 1990, so I don't really feel I'm qualified to preach about the evils of comfort objects!

Best wishes,

L. M.
Novato

Read The No Cry Sleep Solution...this is the only thing that got my 11 month old to sleep through the night on her own. It will be 1 to 2 weeks of pure hell - you and your child will both be miserable, but it really works and is much less harsh than the traditional crying it out books. My daughter naps and slleps all night in her own room with no hassles. My son, on the other hand,is almost 8 years old and still climbs in our bed in the middle of the night....he is my first born-what's a mom to do? LOL So, as I see it - these are your 2 options. Good luck!
S. S - mom of 7 1/2 and 2 1/2

Since you got a lot of good advise on the sleep issue I'll pass on it.

As for the pacifier, we slowly weaned our son from it (however I won't tell you his age, you'd be mortified ;), then one night we set them out on the table for the Paci Fairy to come take for the other babies around the world who needed them. It was a tough night, but in the morning when he saw the paci's were gone and that the Fairy left him some big boy Buzz Light Year Sippy Cups he was psyched! Now I'm not saying we didn't have a few challenging nights, but it really wasn't as bad as we had anticipated.

About the binkie, I would just thow them all away. Out of sight out of mind right? You may have a knock down drag out tantrum for a day or so, but dont give in otherwise she will know she will always get another one. My little girl slept with us untill she was about four. She would start out in her bed then move over into ours. When she got her big girl bed we picked out her bedding together and discussed how she needed to be in her room untill the sun came up. She still sneaks in occasionally but it has been a success.

A.,

Believe it or not, this is very common.=) I had the same issue. The only difference is, I never rocked them to bed.=( What I did was place a seperate bed for my little "ones" right against my side of the bed. After a few months, I moved the bed over to the foot of my bed. After a few more months, I moved the bed to the opposite wall of the room. That worked for a few years...I had a hard time sleeping alone at nights.=) But, just recently, the kids decided to sleep in their own rooms!! I had to overcome my fear of sleeping alone =). This tactic takes alot of time and patience...good luck! I'm sure other mom's have other great suggestions.

As for your little girl and her pacifier (pon), my doctor said it was like a "security blanket" for her. After awhile she stopped sucking on it but would still hold onto it and rub it on her nose. It sounds silly, but even at age 5, she would carry it in her pocket as an assurance. As long, as it's not hurting the growth of her teeth, I wouldn't worry too much. The smaller the "blanket" the easier to carry around. =)

A.,
Try saving a t-shirt you wore that day, or a nightgown from the night before, and put in on your son at bedtime.
Maybe all he needs is your scent near him. Does your daughter only use the pacifier at night? When ours got to that point, we had one night of crying, and she started to suck her thumb instead. Good luck with both.

Try cutting the tip off the pacifier, my son was 4 and this worked when nothing else did. He lost interest when it didn't have the suction he liked.