It's Time to Get Rid of the Paci - but How?

Updated on May 30, 2008
S.L. asks from Urbana, IL
30 answers

My son is 15 months old and very dependent on his paci. Right now he is in a home daycare, but we are checking out a couple daycare centers and they do not allow the paci during the day except nap time. We have about 5 weeks before he will start a daycare center. Any advise on how to go about weaning him off his paci? I don't know if we just limit him to the times he can have it at first - or do we just stop it all together.

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T.P.

answers from Chicago on

I'm a mother of a 4yr boy and a 17mo. old boy and my youngest still has his. my oldest never used one so this is new to me too. I have heard of 2 ways 1. get a couple balloons and tie the pasi's to it and let him send them on there way to another child who needs them and the 2. way is to pretend to mail them to the pasi fairy. I hope this helps- I'm waiting a couple of more months and then i will be trying this too. Good luck

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P.A.

answers from Chicago on

Although this is not something we ever had to experience ( my children never used pacifiers) a friend of mine lucked up on the best solution I ever heard.
Her child would not wean off and she had tried a number of techniques, he simply continued to cry for it. But her child was also in the habit of throwing objects around.
One day while at the park he threw the pacifier on the ground. In a momemnt of brilliance she replied to him: "dirty- trash". He picked it up and put it in the trash. when they left the park he asked for it. she reminded him that he had put it in the trash. And that was the end of it. She went home that day and bagged up all the extras and was done.
Personally, I've used this technique to get rid of a number of items my children become overly attached to for too long (i.e. favorite PJs that are 3 sizes too small or old bath toys etc.) Works great if you can get them to get rid of the object themselves.

mom of 3.

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K.H.

answers from Peoria on

Hi! I worked in a Christain daycare for five years and was the teacher of the two year old classroom. A method that always worked great for my room was to start little by little cutting the end of the paci that they suck on. when it gets down to a certain point, there isn't anything for them to suck on and they give up. We would cut the end about every other day. This was also a gradual process that had to be done to all pacis at home. It's the method I'm going to use for my own son.

A little about me:
Married to a wonderful man and mother to a fabulous 4 1/2 month old boy. Run an in home daycare for five great children.

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

I don't remember exactly what I age I started to limit my son's paci to only naps, but I just did it pretty much cold turkey. Well, I never really let him wander around the house with it much anyway, so that wasn't hard, but getting rid of it in the car was only hard for a day or two. I just limited my car rides to short errands--for both of our sakes since there was a lot of crying involved--but then he just realized he wasn't getting it in the car anymore after a few days. I only then gave him the paci at naps and bedtime. If I accidently left a paci in the crib and he got it out of the crib by reaching through the slats, I told him he either had to put it back in or get in the crib--he could only have it in the crib. I just needed to start lifting him into the crib and he would take it out and throw in back in the crib and leave it there. (only one time did he actually get in the crib and sit there sucking on it for about 15 minutes) We finally had to go cold turkey with getting rid of it completely because he was biting the nipples off of them--maybe around 21 or 22 months--and we had him throw them in the garbage and say "bye-bye" to the paci. That way he did it and not us. It was tough the first few days--lots of crying at naps--but we would remind him that he had said bye-bye to them and he understood. I also gave him a teething ring in bed to help with the transition and that seemed to helped because it was at least something to chew on. We took that out maybe after about 2 weeks. Good luck!!

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R.A.

answers from Chicago on

wow, that's tricky. the pacifier is a self-soothing thing, so taking it away when he starts the new daycare will probably result in a lot of other behaviors as he tries to cope with the new situation and the related stress. maybe you can cut it out now, deal with that one stressor, and when he settles back down, THEN move him to a new daycare?

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

One thing to remember: you can lose the pacifier, but you cannot lose the thumb. Many kids who aren't ready to give up the comfort of the pacifier switch to the thumb, and it's much harder to stop that. I work for a dentist, and unless you see some changes to his mouth or teeth, I'd really hesitate doing anything that would encourage him to use his thumb instead. Good Luck!

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

Go cold turkey! It's a rough few days, so maybe you can do it over a long weekend or something, but after those initial days without it, he'll probably be done. If you start limiting his time with the pacifier, you just drag out the whole process.
Good luck!

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E.F.

answers from Chicago on

It depends on the kid. Some kids are able to only have it at nap time and bed time. It would most likely work for your son, because I find that kids that go to daycare are very occuppied. Other kids are very dependent on them and it would be better for them to take it away completely. If he is like my kids you most likely have a lot of pacifiers laying around the house. Each week or every few days I would slowing get rid of them. Be creative with the way you do it and then the last one you can get him a prize. I would cut the pacifier down the middle so it still looked functional but when they put them in their month it wasn't right. They also liked to rub it on the tip of their noses so they were still able to do that with the cut up pacifiers. Each of them chose a gift that they would recieve after the last one was gone.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

My sister in law and I both took our kids to Build a Bear.. ther were older tho..3 and 4 years. Each got to put all their pacis inside a bear of their choice and so now have a way to keep their pacis close without havingn them in their mouths. You can feel the pacifiers in the bear's behind...its pretty cool. We started both of them on nights only for a while before doing this. Neither one had any trouble after the first night or so. Saw a few troubles with self soothing for a bit but overall, a great success. After two days. not even asking for it anymore. Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Rockford on

Keep it up during the day EXCEPT for nap and bedtime. I don't see any reason to keep it from him when he's in bed. It may even have the effect of helping him LOVE getting into bed! He'll find other ways to soothe himself while he plays after a few days of getting used to being without it. Good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

I think its too early to wean him completely, especially if he is going to start a new daycare. As for them not letting him have it until naptime, Its mostly a health thing - they don't want kids fighting over it, taking it in and out of their mouths, sharing germs. And having it only at naptime is a good habit to get into. It will make your life tremendously easier if you keep it for sleeptimes. And regarding the daycare, you have to do what is best for your family, but depending on the number of kids the person who is currently watching him has at the same time, I feel that home daycare is much better than daycare centers. There is more attention on your child, it is in a "home" environment, and most often, comes with fun "Home" activities - homemade popsicles, lunches, art and crafty activities, time at the park, etc.

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H.J.

answers from Peoria on

My daughter will be 2 in July. She is also my foster daughter so we have had some emotional things with her. When we brought her home at 15 months old she was so attached to the bottle that she had to even go to bed with one. Which i hated more than the paci. She never had a paci but my feeling was better to have crooked teeth than rotted teeth. Anyway after she adjusted to our home some I started w/ paci at nap and and bedtime. And only if she couldn't be comforted any other way. I eventually went back to work full time at a center and her teacher didn't want her to have one at all. So i told her it was up to her whatever she wanted to do. I however still give it to her in the car and at naptime and bed time.
When she gets up in the morning she puts it in her crib and sometimes she will go get it but i pick my battles her brother who is 9 mnths has one and this makes it hard for her not to have hers at home. When we leave she tries to get it I remind her there is one in her seat in the car and when we get to where we are going I tell her to put it back in her seat she can have it back later. It works wonderful. Plus she still has a little bit of control over it or so she thinks. lol
I hope this helps and good luck!
H.

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R.C.

answers from Chicago on

Only 1 of my 3 kids ever used one after 6 months of age, and here is what I did.
First, reduce the number you have. Pack the others away, toss them, whatever. I kept 3 at first. One stays on the bed, 1 stays in the diaper bag. The other was up to her. Obviously, at this age, they lose them, a LOT. That was the point. When it was "lost" even if I had found it, I would point out something else I had found for her to play with. Or, now that it's nice out, we'd go outside for a walk, or a trip in the stroller. She'd rapidly forget, and when she did start fussing for it again, we'd play "Where'd it go?" and look all around. But don't call it by name. Just where is "it"? And as you find various other things, name them instead. Is THIS it? (Holding a stuffed dog.) Is THIS it? (Holding a toy.)
At nap time, there was one in the crib, but when the nap was over, it had to stay there. Just a quick "oh, this one has to stay here" as I picked her up. To distract (if she was fussing for it) during changing, we'd play where's our toes, nose, etc.
Babies are very easy to distract, so you shuld be able to make her forget about it quickly.
And every time she fusses, she's not neccessarily looking for the paci anyway.
Eventually, remove the one from the crib as well. I did this by not offering it to her, but leaving it next to her in the crib at first. Eventually moving it farther away. Granted, she could get up & reach it if she wanted to, but she seemed to forget about it herself after a while. If she wakes up looking for it, make sure you have it close by for the first week or so. After that, no more. :)

Hope this helps!
Starlite *

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

I ,like my two year old twins was not ready to stop the pacifier so my husband decided to take them away when they woke up and put them in their cribs. My daughter who is very attached to her paci cried for about a half hour. She cried for five minutes after her nap because she couldn't have it. The next day she put up a fight but put it in her crib on her own.So, it's not as hard as I thought. Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

We just went through the same thing with our little boy. At 15 months, we only gave him the paci at naptime and bedtime. Basically we just put the pacis away when he was out of bed so that he didn't even see them. Out of sight, out of mind. Sometimes in the morning it would be a little bit of a struggle to give up the paci when he got out of bed, but we were consistent about it so he wouldn't be upset for long (if at all), and he forgot about it very quickly. You may be better off going cold turkey...no paci at nap or nighttime, but for me I couldn't quite do that.

So 2 weeks ago we stopped giving it to him at naps and bedtime (he's 19 months now), so he doesn't have it all. He has started to get a little upset at first when we put him into his bed (all of his other bedtime routines are the same), whereas when he had the paci he was excited to get into bed because that's the only time he got the paci. But even now, he might cry for a few minutes, then settles in and plays with his music box, snuggles into his blankets, and goes to sleep easily. He's not had any trouble sleeping through the night without the paci which is awesome. We've made sure to get all pacis out of sight so that so doesn't see any and get upset. He doesn't seem to mind if he sees another baby's paci - it's like he understands it's not his.

Best of luck to you. I think it's always rough right when you do it, but just don't go back and give it more often once you've started to limit it, and he and you will get through it!

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

My suggestion would be to stop it cold turkey. Give a countdown to your child and tell him every day that in * days, the paci fairy is going to come and take all of his pacis to babies that need them, because he is a big boy. Then, when you do it, make it fun and exciting, put all the pacis in a fun bag and leave it in a tree or on the porch for the paci fairy. Then have the paci fairy leave him a favorite new toy and special treats for giving up the pacis.

Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

We told our daughter that she could only have it at nap and bedtime. Then, we gave the pacis to the binky fairy and left a toy for her the night the "binky fairy" came.

My daughter is also in daycare. That was the first place she gave it up for nap because she wanted to be "big girl". However, daycare should be child centered and the teachers should understand that what is best for one child is not always what is best for all of the children. I would be a bit leary of a daycare that flat out said they don't allow pacis at any time bottom line.

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L.S.

answers from Peoria on

Our daughter was about the same age when we took the paci away. Our doctor had told us that around one year is the best time to ween them from using one. Our little lady was only using it for naps and bedtime at this point, so we just took it away. Let me tell you, it was a very rough week in our house. She did want to sleep without it, but after about a week she just really got over it. It is really hard to take away something they are so used to. My suggestion is to only let your son have it for sleeping for awhile(because it is such a comfort for them) and then once he is only using it for those times slowing try to start taking it away, It will be rough but don't give in. He will eventually adapt to life without it. Good luck!

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

We gradually weaned although you don't have a lot of time. Around 12 months our son was only allowed to have his pacifer in bed. At 18 months would took it away all together - cold turkey. Fortunately it worked well for us. Good luck.

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V.G.

answers from Chicago on

My 21 month old daughter was so attached to her paci, I thought she would walk down the aisle with it! After talking with other moms, I decided to ease her off of it by only allowing her to have it at night and nap times. I tried cutting one paci nipple in half so that when she took it, she would see it didn't work and then hopefully give it up. She just took it out of her mouth, looked at the nipple, tried it again, then threw it over her shoulder and then asked cried for another.

So then I went to only letting her have it in the crib. When she gets up in the morning, I ask her for it, and then gently take it from her if she does not give it up. She cried for about a week, but then got over it. I made a big celebration deal about her giving it to me, now she enjoys handing it over to hear me celebrate. She sees me throw the paci back in her bed and she knows it is there at bedtime. I did give it to her a few times when she was really upset about something else and having trouble calming down.

She is completely weaned of it now outside the crib. Only took a 2 weeks.

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E.H.

answers from Chicago on

It could be a BIG shock to him if you have him in a new place and take away the paci all at once. If they let him have it at nap time that is great way to phase it out slowly. Our son leaves his paci with is "Quakers" (stuffed duck he sleeps with) in bed for safe keeping and has them when he goes to bed at night or takes naps. He is really good with it. For a while he would ask and we would remind him that Quakers needed it and he is waiting for you in bed. The only times he asks now are when he gets hurt of isn't feeling well. (It is a great way for me to know when things aren't quite right with him and could be a que to your new care provider that something is up.)

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

Well, here is how I did it. I decided I did not want to be told by the Dentist that the pacifier had to go. My daughter was extrememly dependant on hers, but this worked for us. At 2 1/2 I gave her a big girl party. We had a cake presents, family came over. I took away the pacifier for when we were out. The only two places she could have it were in the car and in her crib. This worked and she did great. When she turned 3, I switched her to a big girl bed(which was also because she decided to jump out of her crib), and the pacifier was totally taken away. There were a couple of nights that she had trouble, but overall did very well. I also gave her something cuddly for her bed. We went to the dentist when she turned 3 and the dentist was pleased as punch that the pacifier was gone!!

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

One of my girlfriends cut the tip of the pacifier off. When her babies put the pacifier in their mouth they did not like it so they would throw it away. After a few times they did not want it anymore. It worked with both of her boys so that's what I will try when it's time with my baby ;-) Good Luck!!

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T.M.

answers from Chicago on

Cold turkey! I don't care how much they cry and beg for it....if you are strong enough to handle the temper tantrums for about 2 days......then you'll be fine.

It's probably worse for the parent than for the child. Children are very resiliant. They forget after awhile and accept their new lives without the paci. They also are not scarred for life or anything either....they live and become happy healthy children without teeth that need braces due to the extended use of the paci.

You could do it gradually and have it become a long drawn out process that could potentially weaken your rules and allows for inconsistent messages sent to your child or have a "bye bye paci party" where they find them all and put them in a bag. Tie it to a tree or something outside and tell them that the paci fairy will come take it and give their pacis to babies who need them and leave a toy in it's place as a "thank you". (they did this on "the Nanny" and it worked for that child) Then get a special stuffed animal or something that they can hug at night instead. Whatever it is...I think cold turkey all the way is the better thing. (this can also be done by saying .."I don't know where they are...we might have lost them all" and never make it back to the store to get any :)

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would misplace it for a bit and see what happens. Give him a blanke or toy to cuddle instead.

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S.K.

answers from Chicago on

My son is a 25 months and is addicted to his paci. About 6 months ago we started limiting it to when we are in the car and at nap time and bed time. I was afraid to try cold turkey but I have heard of people having success that way. He had a rough time the first few days but now he knows the rules. The great thing is that kids are usually easily distractable and maybe you can find a great lovey or stuffed animal that could comfort him. Good luck:)

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S.B.

answers from Peoria on

we took our son's paci away cold turkey. we prepared him (talked to him) as much as we could prepare a 17 month old. it was rough going the first few days, but he adjusted quickly. it's amazing how quickly they adapt. i would advise adjusting him well before he transitions to a new day care.

whatever you choose, good luck and be strong. you're the parent.

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D.P.

answers from Chicago on

Dear S.,

I am a general dentist in Franklin Park. I write an dental column in the Fra Noi and Italian-American newspaper. I wrote an article about some of the benefits of a pacifier, such as reducing the risk of SIDS. If you contact me I would be happy to forward the article to you.

Sincerely,

Dr. D. R. Pietrini

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

Whether he's in a home daycare or a center, just tell them that you don't want it except for nap time, or that you're going 'cold turkey'. My daughter hasn't used a paci at her daycare in about a year, and she only has it at home for nap, bedtime, and diaper changes. She does well, unless she isn't feeling well. I will warn you, it's not easy, but it's worth it. Don't give in to his cries, no matter how sad he sounds; once you want him to have it at certain times or not at all, you cannot cave! Something else a friend suggested - tell them that paci's are for babies & have him put it in a baggie for a baby to use. We're preparing our toddler for this since I'm expecting our second in four weeks.

Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Chicago on

All three of my children had pacifiers and I did the same thing with all three. First I limited them to having it only at bedtime. After that I chose a day and we made a big envelope that we decorated together. We then put all of the pacifiers in the envelope and "mailed" them to the babies who were being born and needed pacifiers now. We had a couple of nights when they would cry for them but ususally only lasted three nights maximum. Good luck!

S.

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