Seeking Advice on Teen Issues (Very Impt)

I agree with the other post that you should speak with your daughter about it. If she confided in you, you definately don't want to break the wonderful trust and you and your daughter already have by telling the other mothers. I don't think that everyone her age is having sex and smoking pot, but I think that there are at least a couple of people in most circles of friends who do at least one of those, so keeping her away from her long time friends is not the answer. If you try to tell her she cannot see them, she will most likely end up resenting you and not confiding in you anymore. If you really want her away from them, try to get her involved in other activities where she can meet new people and make new friends. However, try to make it about trying something new and not taking her away from her friends. It sounds like you are doing great already and I would keep up the good work and keep the conversation flowing. Maybe you guys could talk about ways that she can turn down pot and sex. You could role play if she'll let you. Also when you are talking to her, you could find out what HER reasons are for not doing these things and help her build on these. My daughter is only 2 and I can only imagine what it is like to has a teenager right now, but these are just some ideas from my own experience. Good luck.

EXACTLY !!! YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE TO BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILDREN!!! ESPECIALLY NOW SINCE THERE OLDER AND POSSIBLY COULD BE GETTING IN TO THINGS THEY SHOULDNT'!!
YES, I WOULD TELL THE PARENTS OF THOSE GIRLS, THEY ARE WAY YOUNG TO BE HAVING SEX & SMOKING POT!!, YOUR DAUGHTER DOES "NOT" NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT! BAD INFLUENCE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER!!! PUT YOUR DAUGHTER IN OTHER ACTIVITIES TO KEEP HER BUSY AND AWAY FROM GIRLS LIKE THAT! ALL YOU NEED IS YOUR DAUGHTER TO GET PG! (NO WAY)!!........IT IS VERY SAD THIS DAY IN TIME ALOT OF (BOTH) PARENTS HAVE TO WORK AND THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON IN THERE CHILDS' LIFE'S !!
GREAT YOU CAN BE THERE WITH YOUR'S! KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER AWAY FROM THOSE GIRLS!..............GOOD LUCK !! ~

i am very sorry to have to tell you this, but this is just the age we are living in. i am 25 and i can tell you that when i was 16 i had already had sex and had smoked pot numerous times, and the girl or boy my age that hadn't done this was very rare indeed. i am not saying its right and i hope that my daughter will be one of the girls who just say no to both but i feel it is sort of unrealistic. pot and sex are now frighteningly commonplace, and it is other drugs as well like ecstasy, and l.s.d., vicodin, etc... this activity appeals to this age because of the depression that comes with being this age. i would definitely not feel bad about snooping, my father did that and while he knew some of the bad things i was up to he did not even break the surface of it, and he did take care to keep me on lock down and enquire about everything, meet friends parents etc... the more he punished the more i would rebel, it was a vicious circle. about telling these other parents, i would want to be told if my kid was acting like this, but if your daughter confided this information to you then i would weigh the pro's and con's of it, it sounds like she trusts you, maybe you should ask her all of these questions and gage your reaction to all of this based on hers. hope that any of this might help- one day i will likely be in your shoes and as an ex-rebel-child, i am scared to death of it

It depends on the parents of these kids some people just get upset with you for telling them anything. I went thru the same thing with my oldest daughter. The others aren't that old yet. Most of the kids are always at my house because these mothers are single and have lives to live so to speak. I never said anything to them because I saw where the other mothers that did were back lashed with things that these mothers would see their daughters doing. You have to know that they feel you are respectful and trustworthy and that they wont take it wrong and nick pick on you and your kids. They will do this if they resent what you are telling them. So what I did since these kids spent alot of time at my house is talk to them and tell them about why God created sex. That he created us and He created sex for when you get married you have a bond with that one person that you shouldnt have with no other. He wants us to have relationships but the one you have with your spouse is significant. When you have sex you bond with that person. Now of course my daughter is like okay we get it, but I'm glad to know that these girls for the most part got their lives back together. There all graduated from high school now and for most of them there pursuing college for a career. The one I worried about the most is active in Church now which wouldnt have happened if I didnt let her go with us. You have no worries if your guiding your kids and loving them, in my case it was because these kids needed someone there and my daughter feels very loved and luckily she stands up for whats right. Every year she's at the flag pole whether anyone else is or not. By the way keep on caring some people dont know how and a little love goes a long way, so save some for those kids that are trying to feel the love the wrong way and with the wrong people. God bless you too.

If these two friends trust you and have a good relationship with you, I would help your daughter talk to them. It is obvious that your daughter is upset by their behavior and maybe if she tells them how she feels, it might help them make better choices. Also, I don't believe that cutting off ties with them to "protect" your child is necessary. It seems to me that you have a great relationship with your daughter that she would tell you about how she feels about this behavior of her friends that if you continue to keep communication open, your daughter will grow into a very mature adult making better decisions than her friends.

As far as why parents are not more involved, I don't have a clue. I have a 15 year old step daughter and I know more about what goes on in her life than her own mother. Because we know what questions to ask, how much to trust, and how to communicate without pushing them away.

Good Luck and God Bless