Seeking Advice on Getting a 6 Week Old to Sleep Longer During the Night.

heres some information you wont be happy to get : it wont happen.

sleep is something that so many of us fight with, and we struggle to find out what we do wrong, what we should do about it, what our doctor tells us to do, what our friends tell us to do, what our moms tell us to do... on and on.

heres the answer you might like: do what YOU know you have to do. my son never slept through a whole night until he was 17 months old. he didnt wake up a LOT by then.... but it took that long before he had a solid night sleep schedule.

be patient. listen to your baby. she is SO YOUNG.
its quite possible that though she sleeps for a long time after formula, it causes digestive issues and that keeps her awake the rest of the night. you could try dropping the formula again and seeing if you can get her to sleep with other means. some babies need white noise playing (my son is 22 months and we STILL play a vacuum cd - for crying out loud is a great cd with 8 tracks of white noise on it) some babies NEED to be held too.
or slept with.

theres something else important that you need to know: at 6 weeks, she still doesnt understand that you and her are separate. all she knows is connection. the more you can keep that connection giong, the easier it is for her to grow and develop through into the next milestone. dont listen to advice that causes and encourage you in ANY WAY to ignore the instincts that you have. usually this includes any crying it out, leaving baby alone, not holding baby, not rocking, nursing, carrying to sleep or while sleeping.

trust me on this, the more you hold and respond to your baby now, the LESS she will cry later, and the MORE she will trust you to take care of her NEEDS :D theres no greater feeling in the world than knowing that you have fulfilled your baby's greatest need: to know and trust that you take care of her every need. if this means that she wakes up every 45 minutes for the next month, just take care of you. make sure you make time for extra sleep, going to bed earlier, getting up a little later if thats possible. i doubt that shes really missing anything yet... 6 weeks is still a little young, but its possible i spose.

again, the most important thing is to listen to YOUR instincts. any method that makes you cry, cringe, or anxious is NOT one that will work. if it gives you emotions, fears or pain, its giving baby the same. the more you can respond, the more that builds trust.

the only thing that worked for me was cosleeping. there were some nights my husband slept in the other room because our son was awake just too often. we made it through that time just fine. when you cosleep, it actually decreases SIDS (contrary to cry it out teachers) because baby actually sleeps less soundly, (follow me here) because mom is right there, and if something happens, baby awakens easier. babies who are trained to sleep alone, and deeply, will have a harder time waking up when its important.
yes, make sure that you arent under the influence of anything that would decrease your ability to awaken. and usually, lack of sleep from baby is not one of those things lol

you will naturally wake up just before or just as baby is awakening, she can latch on, and you both will go right back to sleep. there were nights when i couldnt even tell you how many times he nursed because i did it half asleep! :D

anyway, i just want to support you and let you know its normal for babies to not want to sleep for long periods, yes, if you have an instinct about it, you can take her to the doctor to rule out any ear infections, etc... but if all else fails, do what will get you all the most and best sleep. dont let disconnected people tell you whats good or bad for you and your baby, let your instincts tell you!

www.askdrsears.com is a great source for information, especially on sleep.

Hi Jill~ Congratulations on your new daughter! Have you tried BFing her while lying down? This way if you both can snooze during the feeding, and if you aren't completely comfortable with co-sleeping, you can place her back in a bassinet/bedside cosleeper when she finishes her feeding. I was really nervous with my firstborn about all the SIDS stuff, and I stayed awake for every feeding so I could put him back in his bassinet afterward. But with him eating every 2 hours, and taking 45 minutes per feeding, I had about 30-45 minutes of sleep in between feedings and I was exhausted. After that I started reading about cosleeping as an option and about SIDS and found that countries with the highest rates of cosleeping also have the lowest SIDS rates. There is a lot of good, reassuring information out there about safe cosleeping and how mother and baby's sleep cycles tend to sync together and both get more and better sleep when napping/sleeping together. You would, of course, want to read up on the safety tips to be sure it's a safe arrangement. The Baby Sleep Book by the Sears Parenting Library is a good resource. My second baby, now 5-months-old, sleeps with me and eats regularly throughout the night. But I only wake up long enough to latch him on, put a pillow behind my back to ease my back, and we both fall asleep happily. I'm a million times happier with our nighttime routine than I was with my first baby, and I'm never tired! It works for many moms, so thought I'd throw it out as a suggestion. Good luck!

Quite possible that the formula is giving her a tummy ache, and she is up so often trying to deal with it. Formula is incredibly hard to digest, and babies tummies aren't meant to digest it, so of course she will be full longer after having formula, but then waking a few hours later and not wanting to sleep is a sign that her body can't digest it, she isn't able to rest.

When you nurse her at night, cluster feed. Starting at 6pm, nurse every 1/2hr-45mins FROM THE SAME BREAST, this lets her get the fatty hind milk that will keep her fuller longer. Then at bedtime, nurse from the other breast for a full nursing session. Don't time it, there is no time limit on a breast, when its empty, she'll be full, so don't switch sides. This is an old common myth that needs to stop being handed out. No NEED TO SWITCH SIDES! Nurse from one breast ensures that she gets the fatty hind milk she needs to stay fuller longer, and to grow. The first milk is foremilk, its watery and thin and is meant to satiate thirst. The next milk is hindmilk, its thick, fatty, and full of all the things her body needs. She needs both, and if you switch hit on nursing she will only get the foremilk and be hungry veyr quickly and not get the fat her boyd needs. So only nurse from one breast per session.

Again cluster feed for a couple hours before bedtime. Nurse from one breast for a couple hours to ensure the fatty hind milk is in her tummy, then nurse from the other breast at bedtime for a full nursing session. Ditch the formula right now, its not going ot help her out in any way right now, and could be causing your sleep issues.

Newborns are so hard to take care for sometimes!

Okay... this sounds a bit like mine. She would wake up around 10 or so and then she would want to cluster feed for a few hours before falling asleep for several hours again.

I was going to say to keep her awake a little during the early evening but if she's already awake... that's how we make her fall asleep around 10... it's been difficult though because you can't force someone to be sleepy and it's hard to keep them awake when they want to sleep!

Besides being hungry, is she cold? Does she look comfortable? She could also be too hot.

Does she latch on properly? If she's not latching on well enough, she's not getting as much milk as she should at once. In that case, you should enlist the help of a lactation consultant. Do they have them at your pediatrician's office? They are great at determining whether the baby is eating properly from the breast and how much they're eating each time. Also, if she's not emptying your breast your supply will start to diminish, and then she would get even less milk!

I would try keeping her up slightly longer every night until you get to about 10:00 to put her down for the night. That might help her sleep a little longer. Just a few things to think about- Make sure she is warm enough but not hot. If they are hot or cold they will wake up. Are you swaddling? If not put her in a onesie with socks and then in a blanket sleeper. But keep her room temperature at 72 or 73.

If you are swaddling, maybe she doesn't like it. Or, if you aren't swaddling, maybe she may need the security of being swaddled.

Is she in her crib yet? If not, some babies sleep better in the crib than the bassinet. Or, if she's in the crib, she may do better within the confines of the bassinet.

Regardless to most opinions, some babies are just light sleepers. My child would wake up to the slightest noise. Even though "they say" you should go about your daily life while they are sleeping, all babies are different and some need quite.

How many ounces are you giving her before bed? Too much could give her painful gas, too little could make her wake up hungry. At 6 weeks she should be drinking about 4 ounces. Then another 4 ounces when she wakes up.

I agree with the pp's about keeping her awake longer at night, and at this point some sort of schedule is starting to evolve. If she is not getting there, she is probably over-tired. How frequently are you nursing? How much is she crying when she is awake? This sounds a lot like my son. Here are the things that worked for us- I would nurse him until he fell asleep and then held him- and he would sleep a long time. We stuck to his routine- he had to take a nap every 3 hours otherwise he was crying non-stop. As he got older, I nursed him laying down in bed, and if I didn't move him, he stayed asleep longer as well. The night time wakings were horrible. We eventually used cry-it-out. Is she co-sleeping? If so, put her in a bassinet or crib. I found it was easy to nurse if they were right there(even if they were just stirring. When they are out of your bed, they have to wake to nurse.

Just so you know you aren't alone that schedule sounds very similiar to the schedule my babies had at that age, although they didn't even have the one 3 hour stretch. I know it's exhausting, I've been there twice, but she is really still very little and there probably isn't a whole lot you can do for her sleep pattern at this age. She needs to be breast fed on demand and she may be going through a growth spurt at that age. 6-8 weeks is also a prime age for fussiness and colic. Could she be a little colicky? (I had two colicky ones if you need more info on that possibility.) You might also want to experiment with your diet to see if you are eating anything that might bother her digestive system--prime suspects are dairy products and acidic foods like tomatoes and citrus. I've always heard that approximately age 4 months is when you might be able to try working on more of a schedule for an infant. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka has some wonderful tips for developing good sleep habits in her book, "Sleepless in America." Good luck and congrats on the new baby.

First of all good responses from the previous 5 mommies! I am impressed with how holistic and baby friendly the advice was.

My advice is to keep baby close, nurse on demand and make it easy for both of you! My kids were and still are not great sleepers. When I learned to deal with it, by keeping them close and easy to nurse, our quality of life improved a great deal. Do not get up and walk around, that will only impair your sleep further. Keep her close, do the family bed if you are able and nurse, nurse, nurse. This is most likely a growth stage and she needs your high quality breast milk whenever possible. A side car is a great help or at least a bassinet in your room very close to your bed so you can grab her and nurse.

The formula may be messing with her digestion and is harder on their system than breast milk. Think brick in your gut from fast food vs pleasantly full from mom's home cooking.

Here is the best bit of advice, read Night Time Parenting by Dr. Sears or go to his Web site. He has never failed me and the book saved my life when our first was born. He has done extensive research on sleep.

Take care and enjoy this fleeting time in your baby's life!

J.

Hello~ I was in the same situation you were just a few short months ago, I feel your exhaustion! My son would only sleep if I was holding him upright on my chest, or if he was in his bed it too would only be for 30 minutes or less. I know this is against the recommendation of the Dr's however one day I placed my son on his tummy for nap time and he took a 4 hour nap. That night I also put him on his tummy and he slept for 5 hours. I didn't sleep much because I was constantly checking on him, I brought his crib right next to our bed, and after several weeks he was still sleeping for longer stretches and I was able to also. When I was a baby 30 years ago Dr's recommened placing the babies on their stomach! My son is now 8 months old and he still sleeps either on his tummy or his side. When I checked with our Dr. she said maybe my son had some reflux and wrote a prescription for him. I am not a big fan of giving out medications to kids you never know about long term effects, all my son needed was sleeping on his tummy, the pressure helped relieve any tummy pain he may have been having. Good luck and know that this is a phase and it will pass!

You should consider yourself lucky that she sleeps for 3 1/2 straight hours! Your baby doesnt even know you are two seperate people at this point. She is only six weeks old! They are going to sleep when and if they want to, when and if they are ready.

Hi Jill- Ok- so i had this problem too with my son. I found out that i wasn't producing enough breast milk. I eventually just started drying out. I found out because i had used a breast pump, and only produced 2ounces in an hour. Thats way to long to use a pump too. I was oh he's starving. So maybe see if thats the problem. My son would keep suckling too, so i thought he was getting milk and it felt like it, but he probably really only fell asleep from being so worn out trying. Oh and i don't know if you know but burp every quarter of the bottle she drinks. Every 2oz. burp and then keep feeding. The air will make them feel full sometimes.
good luck
cassie

Maybe your daughter is gassy and needs to be burped more? I know that when my 8 week old isn't sleeping longer than an hour at a time, it is generally due to her tummy being upset. I would start there, then swaddling. Babies should sleep longer, but not all do. Also, when my two year old was a newborn, he didn't sleep for long stretches until we put him in a crib and got rid of the bassinet. We opted for a good mattress, and all of the sudden he started sleeping like a dream. Hopefully one of these things will work for you...... sleep deprivation is the worst! If all else fails, talk to the pediatrician, there might be something more involved going on.

The thing that helped my daughter the most when she was that small was swaddling. We bought a Halo Sleepsack Swaddler and it worked AMAZING. There was an immediate improvement in how long she slept (I'm talking hours longer at a time). Here is a link if you want to look at one or order one... https://www.halosleep.com/products/detail/28/micro-fleece...

Good luck!

You must be exhausted! What worked for us at night was to keep our daughter up later at night - that way I could get one longer stretch (5-6 hours) of sleep in. We would keep her awake until 10 or 11 pm, then feed her and put her down. As soon as she was down, I was going to sleep too! It was a little stressful, but it really helped for me to get that longer stretch of sleep.

Maybe something with her formula is bothering her and that is causing trouble with her sleeping?

Check out Dr. Harvey Karp MD - DVD "Happiest Baby on the Block" - The man is a genious. Loved his tips. Worked like a charm on our twins since day of birth! Get it on Amazon. To watch it only takes like a 1/2 hour or so.

Try his 5 S's - Swaddle (as tight as possible), Shhhhh (loudly so the sound it like the womb), Suck (pacifer is naturally soothing), Swing (moving like in the womb), Side (swing them on their side). Anyway, helps get babies to sleep and then STAY asleep. He explains why these things work for a baby...

Could she have reflux? Our son did the same thing and once we got him on medicine he did much better. And you could buy a sleep book we use Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. It helps a lot.

My baby is just turning 4 weeks so I am by no means an expert. She naturally regulated herself pretty quickly by cluster feeding (pretty much constantly on and off the breast) from 7pm-11pm. It is a very long stretch and h*** o* my husband too because it is his main time with her since he works all day. He'll get to hold her for short periods, but it is mostly eat eat eat. Around 10pm I do the bedtime thing of changing her diaper, washing up, and putting on pajamas. She'll nurse one final time from the opposite side (like a previous poster said, cluster feed all from one side then switch to the other the last time) and we'll fall asleep. Since she was just at her birth weight at her 2 week check I'm still waking her once during the night to eat. She eats from both sides during that session then will sleep for a couple more hours.

Is she gaining weight? Are you pumping at all? Have you talked to a lactation consultant? I'm just wondering if there might be a production or supply issue.

The formula fills her longer because it is harder to digest and therefore takes longer. There is usually a growth spurt at 6 weeks which could be why she is waking frequently. I know every 45 minutes is ruff. If she is growth spurting it shouldn't last more than a week.

Is she sleeping in your room? Sometimes babies wake more if their moms are there. We moved our daughter to her own room around 6-8 weeks.

If you already have her in another room, consider bring her in your room so it is easier to nurse often.

Naptime: Try putting her down 2 hours after she wakes in the morning. Again 2 hours after she wakes from her naps. It may help if you can make the room dark. We also had good luck using a white sound machine. Try to nap during the day when your baby is (I found this hard to do).

I'm just brainstorming here...does she seem really hungry when you feed her? or does it seem like she's eating just because she can't sleep? if she not all that hungry...it could be gas. maybe you could try propping her up a little. but my baby's gas was gone by around 6-8 weeks. it could be that she is overtired. then she may wake up more. when my son was overtired I actually held him through a few naps (actually held him for an hour or so) so he could catch up on some sleep) then I tried putting him to bed earlier next time... if she does seem genuinely hungry, it could be that she isn't getting a full feeding- if she is falling asleep before she is entirely done eating then she might get hungry sooner?? if none of the above i would let her cry for a bit before putting her down. sometimes blowing off some steam really does help. my son is an active baby (like you said she wants to be involved)and even as early as 6 weeks was so energetic he seemed to need to cry some in order to really settle down. good luck! you are mom and you know best!

B.

Although your little one may be too little for "sleep training", you may have a little more of this to have to tolerate beofre you can change too much, I didn't do anything about my baby's sleep till 7 months - I would reccommend you try earlier than I did!

I used the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth.....ity worked wonders for us, and is organized by ages/stages. Also make sure for naps and bedtime, she has a dark quiet room - we used denim curtains - or you could just put black-out liners under whatever curtains you like. We also used a fan (in summer) or humidifier (in the winter) and a cd of lullaby music on repeat, to drown out outside sounds. From 7 months till now at 22 months, sleep has been great (except last week when we tried to take away her binkies - she has them back now and is back to sleeping well) - before that it was aweful - waking over 4 times a night and also only a couple 20-30 minute naps all day! I was at my wits end when I turned to that book.

Good Luck!

Jessie

If you read Erika's posting, she has excellent information. I went through a long time with my daughter needing different things to help her sleep - it's only been 6 weeks - your daughter is very young. She's going to change SOOOOO much every week at this stage. It's VERY normal for babies' sleep patterns to change, reverse, improve, etc. up until they're about 2 or 3 years old. It seems erratic to us, but really it's just their rapid growth at this time. Read more posts, you are NOT the only one who's baby doesn't sleep for 8 hours in a row. In fact, those babies are really in the minority.

Hi Jill,
Have you tried tightly swaddling your daughter? This helped with our son. I also would breastfeed him lying down (starting at around 3 or 4 in the morning when I was exhausted). We would both fall asleep and if he woke up, I was right there to feed him. It helped me get some rest and he loved sleeping right next to me.

Hi Jill,
Your daughter will be hungrier more often than a baby that is formula fed because breast milk is digested easier than formula (which is usually made from cow's milk). Nursing every 1 1/2 to 2 hours is not unusual. I know it's exhausting i nursed both of my kids exclusively. Just like the other mom...we tried to keep them up a little longer at night then i'd go to sleep too. This worked until they were a little older and were able to go for longer stretches between feedings. I'm wondering if the formula before bed is bothering her tummy a little bit???
The three hour stretch that she sleeps is pretty good for a 6 week old...remember it's considered 'sleeping through the night' when the baby goes for a 5 or 6 hour stretch. The only thing i can think of is to wait until a little later to put her down. You might want to read the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding from LeLeche League and look at Dr. Sear's website or his books...they are very helpful.
Good luck to you. You are doing a great job with breastfeeding your little one...it isn't definately NOT easy but it is well worth it for both of you. Eventually you'll have a normal nights sleep:)