Seeking Advice/Information About Foster Care

We went through the classes at an adoptoin service to adopt. When all the paper work was not completely done on the kids side else where we are "foster to adopt" and will be signing the paperwork in the next 2 weeks. There is a lot of paper work, lots of classes, but in the end the most rewarding thing is to see those kids look you in the eye and call you Mommy and Daddy, tell you that they love you just too much, and see the physical and emotional change that they go through for the better. We did not adopt children with severe physical or mental issues just the usual been in 3 foster care homes and taken away 3 times and wanting a forever family. It is the most rewarding experience in the entire world.

My sister did foster care for many years and found it to be very rewarding. The training is essential for success. I agre with the former post to your request that you will be called upon to help other children as the demand and the need is so much greater than the system can bear, Also, abused children tend to act out their experiences and could put yur chld in harm's way. It is physically and emotionaly demanding but my sister and brother-in-law found great joy among the hard work.

Some states have special programs for disabled children that need placement. This might be your niche since this is where your training lies and could work well for you and the child while you are working on your degree.

Call upon your local church for support. Often, a church will sponser a foster family and help out with the financial and even domestic needs such as clothes, furniture, car seats, etc..

May God bless you and your desire to help children.

I can only speak as someone who went through the process to become a foster parent, not one who actually took in a child. I have also spoken with some of the people from my course, who did take in children (who have since taken a break). But the process can be time consuming-classes, physicals, PAPER WORK-but definitely do-able.

The one thing that stuck out to me during my classes was that the instructors recommended that we only have children in our house that were younger than our child(ren). They suggested that since many of these children have been abused/neglected, that we needed to be cautious, as they could possibly project these behaviors onto our kid. Though you request children with no major "issues", sometimes the extent of their experiences is not fully known. My husband & I went into the process thinking we would take an older kid, but did not do the home visit, as I was pregnant during the class and concerned about the safety issues.

Once you become a certified foster parent they may ask you to take kids of any age because of need. But during the warm & fluffy process, it was recommended that we insure our children's safety first by not putting them into situations where they could be bullied, overpowered, and unnecessarily exposed to harmful behaviors.

Please be aware that social workers will call all hours of the night, the kids sometimes come with nothing, no cribs or formula for infants. You're left at 3am trying to buy them something, and the clothing stores where the dept. gives vouchers is not open. It is a financial commitment. Unless you neglect the children, you will most likely spend $ out of your pocket, that may never be reimbursed. For me, if you're in my house, you have to have what my child has, which most likely would not be reimbursed.

I don't want to discourage you, because I feel this is a wonderful calling, just be cautious. Right now it isn't for me, but I hope to be able to revisit foster parenting after I'm finished having kids. Good luck! Hope this has been helpful.

Hi E.,

If the Foster Care here is anything like it is in North Carolina you will have to attend training classes as a couple that lasts for a week. Then you will have to have a background check and be fingerprinted before they will ever allow a child to be placed with your family. They also interview your children to see how they feel about new children coming in, not sure they would do that with a 3 year old. It is a long process and took forever. We had a teenage child placed with us and our experience was wonderful. It really just depends on how damaged the child is and how willing you are to be patient and let them warm up to your family. You have to know that they are scared and are only allowed to bring a trash bag of belongings with them when they are taken from their families. Some kids readjust faster than others. You are told before they try to bring a child to your house what problems he/she might have and you can refuse to take them in if you feel it is too much for you to handle. I wish that our home was bigger so that we could Foster again. It is hard sometimes, but the impact that your family and love can have on a Foster Child, no matter how short the time they spend in your home, can change their lives for the better. Hope that this helps you with your decision.
God Bless,
L.

I have been a foster parent. I would be happy to either chat with you on the phone, email or in person about our experiences. My phone number is ###-###-####. My email is ____@____.com.

Hi,
We were foster parents for years before we adopted 2 special needs so that ended foster parenting. The kids you'll get are priceless. It's the system that is so hard to take. Foster parents are usually not informed of really important things like court and are not included in decision making. A caseworker can show up at any time and move the children. Holidays are disrupted because there is a great push for children to spend time with their bio families. The children can come back sick, dirty, angry, sad. Transition is hard. Fostering was joyous and painful at the same time. Most foster parents I know have ended up adopting. Parental rights are terminated and the child is free for adoption. You've fallen in love and that's that. :) When a child leaves, it leaves a hole in your heart. If a child spent a night in our home, they belonged to me. I had to come to terms with the reality that we were part of the journey and it was time for someone else to take over. You'll hear sad stories. You'll live sad stories. You'll celebrate small miracles. If you have your own children, they can be a bit confused about why other kids come and go. (I have a masters in Rehab. Counseling too.) My experience with caseworkers is they want compliant foster parents...not child advocates. When you speak out on behalf of "your" children, it can case problems between you and DFCS. Some didn't like the fact that I had more education than they did and was a passionate seeker of services for my kids. I have no regrets. I am absolutely sure that we were "called" to do what we did. BUT, it's a hard road at times. The community, family and friends don't quite know what to do with our kids. They can be judgmental about behaviors and such. If you're already working with the disabled/special needs population, your eyes are open to alot. I wish you well. I hope I haven't discouraged you. The love of a child is a given. The system itself needs some serious changes. These little ones are caught in a trap between forever families and bio families that are unable or unwilling to make the changes that need to be made. Every day in the life of a child is huge. Your heart will be wrapped up with the children entrusted to you. And yes, you will adopt one or two. I'm glad you are looking at this option. Lutheran Services and some of the children's shelters like Murphy Harpst Home and a few private agencies work with foster parents and place children. They generally offer more support and more of a partnership than DFCS. DFCS caseworkers come and go with astonishing speed. Check out everything while you decide what to do.

There are never enough good foster parents for our children in care. Yes, most children come with some problem or disability and all have adjustment issues from abrupt removal from their homes. I suggest going to orientation, training and beginning by doing respite care for other foster parents. Another way to begin is to be a CASA volunteer representing a child in court so you can see what it will take to foster. Your area of expertise is greatly needed by both organizations. Contact your local DFCS for the Impact classes for foster parents and your local juvenile court, Georgia CASA or National CASA for your local organization. Ask to observe in Juvenile Court for a day. It will make your heart ache for what children endure.

Hello

My husband and I had the same feeling. Although it is the most rewarding thing that I have ever done in my life, I want to give you a few suggestions and realities that we weren't told.
First off the supplemental money is not really all that much, so we found that we still paid more finacially to take care of the kids. Also because they are only given extra monies like clothing allowances, etc (some kids don't get this money) We felt that we had to spend the money because we wanted the kids to feel like they were at home and I always felt bad buying for my kids and not for the other kids.
Also most of these kids are complete victims and because of this they do come with thier own issues. There are things taht you may have to be mindful of when dealing with these kids and you always have to keep coming back. Esp. since some of them have been left by everyone so they test you to see if you'll just "throw them away" also. Its very hard especially after the honeymoon phase where they seem to be the nicest kids in the world. Once the real child emerges you just need to make sure that your are very firm with your expectations but also very fair and loving.
They might resist at first but they all just want to be loved. And as long as your goal is to help them and help to make them better people you will be great! Good Luck

Hi E.!
My husband and I adopted through the foster to adopt program. I would love to talk to you! What a blessing you will be for those children waiting for a loving home! Call me sometime ###-###-####!
S.

Kuddos to you and your husband for wanting to open your heart and homes to kids in need. We really need great foster homes with two parents that can guide these children. I worked in the family court system as a Court Appointed Advocate (CASA) for many years. I met so many children that were alone and scared and really needed to just be shown they were wonderful special people. You have to remember though these kids are in foster homes for a reason and usually carry personal baggage. Having a two year old myself, I would be very careful about bringing other kids into your home until she is older. You always have the right to refuse and child or terminate a relationship but as you can imagine that is difficult to the child. You have been given some terrific advice already…it isn’t always roses and happiness but can be more rewarding than you may know. I also say look into being a Guardian first, your husband too, you just don’t know how many of these kids never get a positive male role model in their lives. That would give you great insight into how the process works in the family court system and with Child Social services, it could also give you the ability to greatly impact many children’s lives until your child is a little older and understands more.