Seeking Advice - Mansfield, TX

Updated on July 17, 2008
K.C. asks from Mansfield, TX
47 answers

My husband and I are talking about whether we should go for #3 or should stick with having two children. I absolutely love being a mom and would love to add another to our family, especially since we have two boys and would love to try for a girl. However, my husband is not so sure and I don't want to put stress on our marriage if a third child would put more stress than we can handle. Our oldest is about to turn 4 and our other one just turned 1. We would love for the third to be a little closer to our 2nd. Any advice out there? I'd love to hear from those of you who have three children.

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H.B.

answers from Dallas on

My husband was not for having another one, but I can't really tell too much difference between two and three. We have three children and they are awesome. I think with one being 4, they will be going to kindergarten before you know it and it will be even easier.

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T.H.

answers from Dallas on

We have 4 and are thrilled with them! They are 21, 15(16 in Sept), 9 and 6(7 in Sept). We had some misses in between the spaces and would have had them gladly, too. But we are thrilled with the number we have ended up with. I like having my two youger kids closer together. They are close and it makes things fun. I am not really used to it because my other kids are so far apart.

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T.O.

answers from Dallas on

I had 3 babies all 1 year apart. They are now 15, 16 & 17.

It was very hard when they were little but fun. We loved having everyone enjoy the same interests and activities. No one of them was "caretaker" for the others, because they were all the same age, basically. And I liked that since I was the oldest by 7 years and thought it sucked to be stuck as the unpaid babysitter.

It's going to be a financial struggle in college (all at once) but I think we'll make it just fine.

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S.F.

answers from Dallas on

I love being a mom and wouldn't trade them for anything
BUT

Those who said it was easy to go with #3, don't have my #3. #3 pushed us over the edge. I absolutely adore her. However, it's impossible to get family to watch all 3 of them at one time. Finding a babysitter is harder, Playdates ares harder to find without someone being left out. I only have 2 hands, and 3 kids. Someone is always alone. Around the house is easier now that they are older, but when they were 4, 2 and a newborn I was exhausted. 5, 3, and walking, I cried, ALOT. I just couldn't keep up. I actually quit staying at home, and went back to work, because I could not handle my little one in addition to the other two. She was into EVERYTHING, and trouble is her middle name.

It depends on how much support and help you are going to get from your DH. My DH works a ton, and my job is to take care of the kids. So I get very little help, this is definitely a factor. He has to be onboard with you.

If I had it to do over again, I would wait just a bit for the third (although, she was a surprise). Just give myself some breathing room. Have only 1 in diapers at a time.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

K.,
My husband and I have 4 kids, the oldest is 9 and the youngest is 3, so I have a little experience on this subject. We debated between 3 or 4 kids and at the time I was 36, so I had age creeping into my decision. We were still on the fence when a surprise weekend getaway and a couple of bottles of wine blew us into the 4 kids catagory. We were both surprised and my husband actually ran to the urologist before I even went for my first O.B. appointment. I embraced the pregnancy, but must say I had many sleepless nights wondering how I was going to manage 4 babies only 6 years apart. Our house is hectic and messy and always loud, but that last baby was the best thing that happened to us. I have never heard of a mom regretting having a baby, but I have lots of friends who regret sticking to the 2 kid rule. Life will be chaotic, messy with less money, but when they get older, the dinner table will be much, more fun. Plus, more kids increases your odds that one of them will like you and help you in your old age, lol. Good luck and enjoy trying.

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

My husband and I have 5 children...one 18 year-old daughter from his previous marriage and 3 boys/1 girl of ours. If I had the time and financial means to have more, I think I would. But, my advice is this...(1) above everything else, you and your husband need to agree on whether or not to have more. (2) Do not have a third just to try for a girl, and (3) -You'll really like this...Although every family is different, I personally would go for 4 if you have 3. When you have 3 children, someone is always left out. It may or may not always be the same child left out, but someone is going to be left out. A friend who stopped at 3 told me this when I was trying to decide between having 2 or having 4, and I have found it to be true with my children, too. My youngest is 2, so she is just now becoming a viable playmate to help solve this problem. Again, whatever you decide will be the best for your family, because it's obvious you are giving it full consideration, just be sure you and your husband are on the same page. Good luck!

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

My husband was content on just having two boys also. The thought of maybe having a little girl scared him so. He finally agreed to have another. I wanted a girl, but figured on another boy. Well we were blessed with a daughter. And now my husband could not imagine life without her. Three kids are more work, because you are out number, but it is more love and fun. I guess that's why we decided on having another. #4 is due in Oct. My husband always said he want one or two kids, but now he is really excited about having a large family. Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

The main stresses I see are having to get a bigger vehicle, having 2 in diapers at the same time, and later paying for colleges and weddings. I am almost in the place you want to be. My Son just turned 3 in June, My daughter turned 1 in April and I am due in Feb. We are looking at getting a van, and having to pay $800 to the Dr. by the time I am 24 weeks along (which I can not use flex for), this is stressful for us as gas is rising and paychecks are not. If both of you do not agree, I would not do it. You don't want resentment or bitterness. Our third child was unplanned and a complete surprise. I understand wanting a girl, but girls are more expensive. Their clothes are cuter and do not go on sale as much as boys, plus everything is an outfit, so not jeans and t-shirts to throw together, pluss the frilly socks you can never match up after the dryer. I love my kids, but these are some of the frustrations My husband and I have.

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P.B.

answers from Tyler on

I am the mother of 2 boys. I am from a 4-kid family and my husband is one of two. He changed jobs and was going to lose his insurance so he talked me into having him get "snipped".

We really regret it now. We have decided that down the road we will probably adopt a little baby girl. Sigh. But the longer we wait, the less of a reality it seems.

If you and he are able and you are both thinking about it, put it in the Lord's hands. If it happens, it happens. Just don't look back and feel that "incomplete" feeling that I have.

Blessings,

P. <><

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

Do think ahead as to how the additional child will impact your lives 10+ years from now. We have three girls. The oldest is 18 and starting college, the middle one is 16 and not far behind her! It is really, really expensive when you factor in school activities, family trips, heck-just a dinner out. Our third is only eight and I am happy that we will have some time to recoup our finances before she goes to college too! So it may not be the emotional stress, but there is financial stress to consider. It's been very hard to save for retirement and other goals when we have three to put through college.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I am a mother of 3. First note: there is always stress in marriage and if it doesn't come from the kids it comes from somewhere else. Kids don't cause stress - it's how we handle what comes our way. 2nd: You will never be able to afford your children. 3rd: Many Hubbies/Fathers need to have time to adjust to new ideas, changes. Commit to praying about this every day and let God work the details out. Blessings And by the way, if I could have had one or 2 more just like #3,.... : )

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, I have 3 boys who I love dearly. they are all 21 months apart from each other and I would probably would have preferred them a little more spaced out like 2.5-3 yrs at most. but we tried for 7 years to have the 1st one so i wanted to have the 3 while I still could...
It is much harder having 3 than 2 but I think it will be worth it later. I suggest praying about it and see where your heart is led.

Hope that helps
A. J
www.celebritypartyfavors.com

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

What can I say? I have seven biological children, and we will soon be doing our third adoption, hopefully before the year is out.
This is all same mom and dad, I've been married for 35 years. I've sort of had three families, we were just going to have two children, too, but things changed, and our second and third child are nearly seven years apart. Then, after our seven biological children were born, and our youngest child was almost eight, God brought Luke into our life, and we adopted him. Since we had gotten our foster/adopt license to get him, we decide to foster again - something we did many years ago. And surprise, Angel-Leah came along, and we adopted her. We thought that was it until Angel-Leah's birth mother had another full sibling, and he was offered to us, too. We will be adopting him as soon as all the court hearings are final.
Our children are ages 32, 29, 22, 20, 17, 14, 11, 4, 3, and 11 months. Six sons and four daughters. The three year old actually came before the four year old. I never quite know how to list it, so I just go by ages.
We also have nine grandchildren from those first two girls, and they are all older than our youngest children.
It's been a wonderful life, so far!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

If your husband isn't 100% excited about it.... I don't think it's a good idea. Like marriage, this is a decision that needs respect from both sides of the equation. You'll need his enthusiasm on board to help you -- and if that's not there to begin with... it's not guaranteed it will show up later when all (possibly) 3 boys will be screaming for attention; spilling messes ; etc.
Wait until hubby gets really excited about it.... and that's your cue.
Hint: don't mention the subject for weeks... even months, if you can manage. And then, he'll start bringing up the subject -- that's when you know he's excited about the idea -- and then it's time to talk about it more.

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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

We were on the fence about number 3 as well. I wanted to go for it, dh wasn't sure, then I felt content with what I had, and surprise number 3!! I can't imagine my life without my youngest!! She is the light of our lives - she was a family baby b/c her siblings were 6 and 4 and super involved!! They are 12, 9 and 5 now and it is still the best!!

There is no right/wrong - just what is right for your family!!Just be sure you and hubby are communicating - 3 outnumber you!! I feel blessed for my 3 - and probably would have had more - but I think our family is just right!!

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D.I.

answers from Dallas on

You've had a ton of great responses. I just wanted to add that I have 3 children and we went through a similar struggle about having that 3rd one. We had 2 healthy, happy children - 1 boy and 1 girl. My husband felt like there was nothing more to "want" - yet,I didn't feel "done". Our compromise was to leave ourselves open to the possiblity. I got scared after a month of that approach, but ahhhh... I was already pregnant. I guess God knew I'd get scared, so he had to intervene fast! Our 3rd child was born when our oldest was 4 1/2 and our 2nd child was 2 3/4. They are now 12 (almost 13), 11, and 8. They are close in age and I would not have it any other way. I don't remember it ever being horribly challenging or difficult. They were all "little" at the same time and they've always gotten along wonderfully (minus the occasional sibling spat). I feel so blessed to witness their relationship as they have grown, and will continue to grow. I know that each one of them is a gift - to each other, as much as to my husband and me. I hope that sibling bond carries and sustains them their entire lives. I say "go for it" - but of course, after you and your husband agree. I'd have a 4th, if my husband was willing! Remember there is never a perfect time or a perfect financial situation. You just have to listen to your heart. Sure, an additional child brings additional costs, but I still say that the love and joy that is gained is worth every penny. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. And, I am amazed that we ever questioned a 3rd based on such silly things as "going back to" diapers, sleepless nights etc. Those early challenges are so fleeting. You have to evaluate based on the big picture. Good luck!

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

I just had my 3rd, a boy, in May and hired a nanny to help me. My oldest boy just turned 4 in June and my girl is 1 1/2. I am so glad that I have the help because I am so tired with being up nursing at night. I went to www.nannies4hire.com and found our nanny within a week.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

We struggled with the same decision. We originally were going to try for #3 when our second was about 2, but my husband got deployed and was gone on and off for about 2 years. Then we moved, so then it was "I have a 7 year old and 5 year old, do I want to start over again". Well, I'm pleased to say that we did start over again and I have a wonderful 5 month old baby boy. I think you guys are the only ones that can make that decision. My older two were so much older that it's been so fun having a baby around again. The only problem is that I have to drag the poor little guy around to keep up with the big kids acitivites! But, when I just had 2 little ones (2 under the age of 2), that was hard too. It's hard to keep 2 little ones safe in the parking lot, etc. And it's hard to tote 3 small kids around. But, a baby is such a huge blessing! I heard someone make the analogy the other day "we didn't have kids because it cost too much money and would be too hard..." he finished by saying how absurd it would be to base our decision on the financail rewards alone of having children. I would definately wait until you both can agree on having another one. Pray about it. I have a friend that wanted a third and her hubby didn't. She prayed that either he'd change his mind or she would have the want removed from her mind. Well, she got pregnant while on birth control, so obviously they were supposed to have another one.

I feel like I'm rambling, but I want to say that having 2 little ones is hard, but when the youngest is about 3 it gets so much easier and it's nice when they are close in age. I'd also like to add something that another mom of 3 told me...a the amusement parks there are always rides for 2 and 2 or 4 total, but not for 5. Someone has to ride alone. So far it isn't a problem for us, but our little guy is very little!

good luck with your choice!

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 4 year old and an 18 month old and I am pregnant with #3 due in September. I likewise have 2 boys and we were surprised to find out that we were pregnant with #3. We are very excited about the new baby coming, but let me tell you how difficult it is to be pregnant with your 3rd when you have a 4 year old and a 1 year old running around! Our 3rd was conceived about 2 days after my youngest son's birthday - and OMG - I am SO exhausted EVERY day! If you want baby #3, go for it, but wait a little while. It is so hard on your body, your emotions. Enjoy your little one a while longer! I am trying to prepare myself for boy #3! The 3rd baby is a totally new ballgame because you no longer have man coverage! The children out number you and your husband, so it turns into a zone defense!

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T.C.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I am a mom of 3 (14,11,9). It was never a question of 2 or 3. I wanted 6 so we agreed on 3. It is hard, hetic, harried and absolutly the best thing in the world. IF you have the time and love to give then go for it. If you stress on how to get everything done with 2 then you need to think about how much time it really takes. My oldest is on Tennis team in High School. Middle is on Basketball at Jr High and youngest is on gymnastics competition team. I am never home.....we eat meals on the run to and from practice. I see my husband when we get home at 10:00. I wouldnt trade a second of my life. It is not perfect..........it is perfect for me. We also help teach childrens classes at our church. Good luck!!!!

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

Nobody can tell you whether or not you should have more kids....only you and your husband can make that decision. I only have one child and wished I would have had another for him to grow up with. If you have another one, just love them all and take whatever life deals you. Kids are a gift from God and if you want another one, go for it.

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

My husband and I have three kiddos (5yrs, 2yrs, 7mos). We were also on the fence about having a third and basically just rolled the dice, so to speak, until it happened. My 2 year old was only 6 months old when we conceived and 16 months old when the baby arrived. Before conceiving our third, I was the one that really wanted another and my husband, though not opposed to the idea, was not sure of if he wanted another.

All in all, I think having a third was the fullfilment of our family. Don't get me wrong, it is not always easy- it takes longer to go do things, carseat arrangement (we lucked out and was able to manage with the vehicle we had), and lets face it- there are 3 of them and two of you (or if a stay at home mom like me, often just one). I have been greatly surprised though- the relationship of all of the children are just amazing, especially between the youngest 2 who are both boys. They share a room and except for little snafus here and there, have had absolutely no problem having them room together. I was worried before hand that my middle son would have trouble adjusting from being the baby getting a bulk of attention, to having a new baby getting the bulk of the attention, but I think that he had an easier time dealing with it than my then 4 yr. old did.

Any how, in whatever you and your husband decide, Good Luck and Congrats!

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R.C.

answers from Dallas on

My husand & I have been married for almost 17 years. We have a solid relationship. We have a 10 year old daughter, an almost 5 year old daughter & a 2 1/2 old son. We wanted four when we first started, we feel very blessed to have our 3. We feel 3 is our number. Our girls are very mellow & go with the flow. Our son is the wild card. He has been since the very beginning. We had to do fertility with our girls. Our son was a surprise, but very welcomed surprise, Having our first 2 children 5 years apart was like being a new parent all over again. Then having #2 & #3 two years apart was a different story. My 5 & 2 1/2year old are always competing against each other. It is more stress to have 3, the parents are out numbered. I wouldn't add another unless you & your husband are 100% commented to the idea.

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

We only had 2 kids when "surprise" number three came along. My son was 4 and my daughter was 17 months when our other daughter was born. She was a gift from god and has been fabulous. I personally don't feel having a third child puts any more stress on a marriage than two kids does. My son is now out of the house and my daughters are very close and I just love every minute of it. It's wonderful! Good luck with your decision. :)

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Y.H.

answers from Dallas on

As a grandmother I can say that when you ask someone to babysit it is not easy to find.I kept my three boys and it was a 3 ring circus always.This is really something that you and your husband needs to agree upon.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I have 4. I wish I had stopped at 2.

K.M.

answers from Dallas on

My husband and I have been blessed with 3 children. My oldest daughter is almost 9 and my twins (boy/girl) are almost 6. They are 2 weeks shy of being exactly 3 years apart. My husband is from a family of 5 kids and there were 3 kids in my family. We both new we wanted 2, but were questioning more due to finances. Obviously, God helped us make that decission. If it had been left to me, we would of only had 2, but I thank God for stepping in and making the decission for me. I will admit, that it is very difficult at times, especially because our youngest is VERY head strong. As others have said, you will be out numbered, but hopefully with the oldest being atleast 6 by the time a 3rd child would come along, that will help. My oldest has always been very helpful /like a little momma/ and I appreciate it. I can always count on her to help hold hands when we are crossing a street or at the mall. I think the best advise is, make sure that your husband is on board, pray and let God take over. You will never be disappointed if you allow God to control your life. There will be some difficult times, but the good times will always win out.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

No one can tell you should do. I will say due to my husband's spending habits, and my age we chose to stick to 2 children. I also love being a mom and have two very active boys (three if you count my husband). I also did a little research and found that if you 2 of the same sex you have something like an 80% chance of having the same sex the third time. I didn't think I could handle 4 of boys and keep my sanity.

I still feel blessed and want another one, but we are all OK with the decision. Good luck!

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L.F.

answers from Dallas on

I am a mother of 4 wonderful children. My oldest is 16 (girl). My three youngest are closer together in age they are 7 (girl), 4(boy), and almost 2(boy). My husband and I didn't plan on having 4 children but God saw fit for us to have them. I love that my three youngest are close together in age. They play well together and always have support. My household is busy with 3 young children and a big sister who is always on the go! Band to friends to movies to driving. I can say I wouldn't change anything for the world. My husband and I are very blessed and love our busy schedules. I can tell you that something that has really worked well for our family is that each child has "their time" with my husband and myself. Whether it be going to the store or for a walk. The kids love that time and they know when their day is because it is scheduled each week. I have a calendar on the wall with each person's name on a colored circle. When that person has something on that particular day I use that color circle and write in details. Each of my kids can tell their own color and know when they have something. This is the same place we write notes to each other and information so everyone knows where to look. Hope some of this information helps. Good luck on deciding what is best for your family. You and your husband will make the choice together that is just perfect for your family.

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H.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hello! We just had number three (was not planned)-but treat it as a blessing. We thought we were done. Gling from 1 to 2 was much more difficult that going from 2 to 3). Although I am out numbered (and have THREE BOYS) - somehow I still manage. Remember- you may get another boy, so if you are considering #3- make sure it is b/c you want three-not just for a different/or same sex.

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T.J.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If 2 kids didn't stress your marriarge than I doubt 3 would. You have to work together even more since you're out numbered now! My 3rd was born the month after my oldest turned 4 & my middle turned three 4 months later. And we have all girls. :)

We weren't trying for a boy (heck - we weren't trying at all - she was a surprise!) so we were quite happy to find out we hit the girl tri-fecta! I think trying for a certain gender and not getting what you hoped for might be more stressful on a marriage. If you want a 3rd child then go for it!

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L.N.

answers from Dallas on

I have three and wouldn't change it for the world. But, I am going through a divorce. My husband was done after two and I gave in to being done. I made him an appointment to get fixed and he chickened out. Of course right after that I found out I was pregnant with number three. Now, like I said I love all my kids!! But three was a lot harder when I didn't have that extra hand. Don't push him into having another unless he is willing to help. I have heard if going from 1 to 2 is hard then 2 to 3 is easy, but if 1 to 2 is easy then 2 to 3 is hard?? Any more after that I hear you can make it work :)
In January they turn 9, 6, and 3...I guess only one time a year I can get pregnant. haha
Again...my children are the biggest blessing and are the reason I know I will be OK when my divorce is over. I love them more than they will ever know :)

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N.O.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,

I just had my 3rd child 3 1/2 mnths ago and it's been wonderful having 3 children.
My oldest just turned 7, my middle is now 2 1/2 and now a 3mnth old. I have to tell you unlike the other post, it actually made it easier being pregnant having the other children to care for.
It made my days seem busier of course but that way I was always on my feet moving and that was really helpful in not gaining as much weight like I would have just laying around.
It also made the pregnancy go by MUCH quicker....it was like one day I find out I'm pregnant and the next I'm in the delivery room. It really went by so fast unlike my other pregnancys that seemed to last forever!! : )
I really didn't feel overwhelmed or tired until the last few weeks of pregnancy and my husband really helped out around that time so everything worked out great.

Another thing I might mention is our 3rd was our "oops" baby! lol- I love him to death and can't imagine him not being here but we were not actually planning to have anymore until a few more years BUT I'm really glad he came sooner because now him and my 2 yr old will be close in age.
I'm SO happy we have our 3rd baby here now and now that we have 3, I feel as if we need to end with an even number and have one more in a few more years to complete the family.
And BTW, the more you have the easier it gets because you're already a mom of two so you pretty much got it all down by now.
My 3rd baby has been the easiest by far and the SWEETEST baby in the world. It seems mine just keep getting easier and easier! lol, anyhow children are a blessing and if you feel in your heart you want another, then go for it. I'm a 3rd and I'm of course thankful my parents didn't stop at 2. : )
And the more siblings your children have with them in life, the better off they'll be always having someone there for them.

I think every husband is a little scared to have another child in the beginning because they are usually the bread winners and they feel as if they may not be able to provide for more children but we're not rich in any way and everything always seems to just work itself out!

Good luck to you in whatever decision you decide!

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

Another this close, should you get pregnant right away would not give you as much time to enjoy them, I had the third one, (not planned) though of course loved it as much as if it was, but sure noticed I didn't have as much time to (enjoy) as the middle one was the age to be exploring, and you needed to watch, so you didn't enjoy the baby as much, had to diaper, feed, put back to bed and go see what the toddler was into. Also you have to think about having time for your husband. Each family is indivual on handling everything, so it is hard to give advice. We got along fine as my husband was so easy going , as I am not very organized, but I could see how it could cause problems. After all the best gift you can give to your children, is a close relationship between you and your husband.

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T.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,
As a mother of Four I can only tell you you'll never regret having them if anything you always regret not. "when is too late"
that's my humble opinion.
listen to u heart,
T..

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T.J.

answers from Dallas on

Oh my gosh, there is no short answer to that question! I was in the same boat trying to decide whether or not to have a 3rd child, which we did, and there are so many factors to consider and ways it does change your life. I am 100% glad we did because my 3rd is such a joy (but on the flip side, such a CHALLENGE!!) He is 3 years old now and all of the things that I love about him also are a huge source of frustration for me (his strong-willed personality, curiosity, etc, etc,). Your family will, in the end, acclimate to a 3rd child. Not saying it will always be easy (you've heard that once you have a couple kids that the 3rd, 4th, aren't a big deal...bull!), but I can say it was the best decision for our family. I have much more time to talk than type (can't multi-task when typing!) and would love to give you my insight because, like I said, there is not really a short answer to that question! If you email me directly we can try to chat on the phone and maybe you can get more iformation that way! My email is [email protected]____.com luck!

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

You and your husband are very wise to put your relationship first. The best gift you can give your children is a strong marriage between the two of you.

Other than that I don't feel I can give you advice regarding how many you should have. I know praying about things helps me to know. I try to figure it out myself, praying along the way for guidance, and I look at all the options and then I make a decision. After I make a decision I ask the Lord if that decision is right. I can usually feel peace when the decision is a good one. Sometimes it may not matter and so you won't feel a strong impression either way, that is okay too.

I am so glad that you love being a mother and wife. I do to!

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

My husband and I were very happy with just our two daughters. Then we became pregnant -- not planned -- but I miscarried. It was amazing how my attitude changed after that . . . suddenly I wanted a third child, but he still didn't. We talked and he didn't seem to big on the idea, so I let it drop because I figured pushing for it would create problems and at least I had my two beautiful daughters. Well suddenly my husband changed his mind, and in January 2007 daughter #3 was born. I asked him why the change of heart and he said it was because he knew it was what I wanted and would make me happy, and because he knew he would of course love the child. The sex of the baby didn't play into it . . . as a matter of fact, I never knew I was having a girl until she was born. It was more about because I love being a mom! All I can recommend is that you and your husband need to be in agreement on such an important decision. Keep the dialogue going, but don't be pushy and if you can't agree, then maybe that is your answer.

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G.F.

answers from Dallas on

We have 4 and love it! However, you have to do what is best for your family. Pray about it and talk with your husband to find out what his fears are about having a 3rd. Communicate...that is the key.

If you do decide to go for #3, just realize it will be hard at first, but as your baby grows, it will become easier. All babies are blessings and God will bless you with exactly what your family needs.

Good luck on your decision.

G.

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

You have a lot of great advice from the moms who do have three or more kids! We have two, and although we debated for a while about trying for a third, I will say that I think two was the best for us. I have two siblings and my husband has three, so we grew up with more kids in our homes, but for our life now (and our home, our car, and our extended family) two is perfect!

I just wanted to say that each family is different, and two beautiful healthy kids are a great blessing, whether or not another one is in the cards for you. If you do decide to have another one soon, you will manage just fine -- it may be a challenge when they are very young, but as they grow older and can play together and enjoy similar-age activities, it will be great for you. Our boys are twins, so I know about that! Just keep in mind, as another mom said, paying for diapers/preschool/sports/car insurance/college for two at the same time can be interesting!!

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N.H.

answers from Dallas on

Mom of 3 beautiful girls...yes we tried 3 times for a boy. I would never trade them. For us, the third is the easiest. The descision to have the 2nd was the hardest. I was a new mom and i loved my first so much i just didn't know if i could find anymore love to give to another one. I thought i was so full that there is just no way i would be fair to the second. But god works wonders as you know. You grow more, another heart, and you embrace that second child with as much passion as the first. Well we are old pro's now and she just rolls with the flow. I love having three. But buyer beware... The world is not really set up for three kids anymore. I love my suburban and we can sure fill it up. Also, people are so rude.... Why would you want 3? This was an accident right? You are going to stop at 3 aren't you? So glad it's you not me. Etc... I came up with some snappy sideways responses and enjoyed my pregnancy. I am completely content. Good luck!

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R.T.

answers from Dallas on

I have not read the others but I can tell you we were happy with two and thought our lives were complete . I have a girl,18 a boy,15 and then came the other he is now 4. WOW what was I thinking. God had other things in store for us and you know he has been the light of my life and everyones he touches, He is his nanny's life line and I wouldn't change a thing. It all works out in the end. My brother and sister all have three kids and we are wonderfully happy. It is what works for your family.

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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, K.

I have 2 children from my first marriage and they were close they were right at 10 months apart, my ex husband was not in the picture for the first 9 years of their life and my father and I had them to raise but any how raising them that close together was like having twins cause they were so close in age. My girl was a preemie so she was small for her age and by the time my son was born he was the avg weight he needed to be so when a year or two went by they were playing and taking up for one another. They were fun at that age and even now they are grown 15 and 14 yrs old they are still close even though we have our moments they are finding who one another are and tend to get into disputes because my son is use to hanging with his sister as they putting it nowadays. But it fun to watch them. NOW here is the kicker...My second husband which I have been married to for 4 yrs now we have our first baby together he is 8 months now and a joy to be with my other two were sick most of there growing up with colic and all but this lil guy is a joy perfect baby if I ever saw one and I am not just saying that cause he is mine I never dreamed of having a happy baby like he is. Even when he is upset he smiles. My problem now is my husband is 36 me I am 40 or will be here in a month, my husband wants me to try to have one more before I call it quits and I don’t know if I can handle another one this close I am enjoying this lil guy now I didn’t get to enjoy my other two when they were growing up I was to busy trying to make a living and letting my dad stay home with them since he was retired. So now I am enjoy being a mother for really the first time and I being greedy, I feel like I am. So I am in the same boat but if my next child is as happy as this one is I say go for it, but we will never know till we have one. Now getting back to you and your husband I say go for it you just said you love being a mother. People look at us and say you know what causes this now fix it, well I to love children if we can afford to take care of all the children and give them all the love they need then I say go for it...Good luck with what ever you decide.

God bless you and your family,

T.

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R.L.

answers from Dallas on

We have 3 in about those age ranges. But ours was opposite, 2 girls (they are closer in age) and we were hoping for the boy...luckily we got it. It definitely is harder. We struggle everyday not to snap at each other over the littlest things. But it has definitely been worth it. Our boy is now 7 months old and we just took our first family trip to Colorado. We joked that we were amazed we didn't want to strangle each other. I know I was on my best behavior, as was he. I think the most important thing is to make sure you have a good support system. The thing to think about is if you had to get away for a weekend, who will be there to watch all 3 kids? I luckily have a good sized family and some friends who are more than happy to take some or all of the kids. If we didn't have that we would definitely be burned out and arguing alot more. The other thing is that my sex drive has been shot since the last child. Don't know if it's because it was the 3rd, he was all natural or because he is a boy...but that probably factors into our crankiness (plus I have no time for yoga anymore). Definitely talk to hubby about the pros & cons. It might be better to wait a little longer (we did, our middle child turned 3 this May) and she is so much more of a helper than her big sister (who was 19 mos) was when she was born. And I can give them instructions like "don't pull on him" and they comprehend the reasoning well.

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

I am not a mother of 3, but I am child #3. From this perspective it is different. My sisters are only 16 months apart, but I came along more than 6 years later. I was always the 5th wheel. It was also a lot like having 2 sets of parents. I always wanted to have another sibling.

No one else can tell you what is going to be best for you, but you need to take everything into account. It will effect your entire family.

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P.B.

answers from Dallas on

I have 3 children (6, 4 and 1). We plan on having one more, should we be lucky enough for that to work out. In premarital counseling, we agreed to 2 children and then halfway through my second pregnancy, my husband admitted that he wanted 4 kids, not just 2. Wow, talk about a shock!! It took many months of soul-searching for me to come to the same place he was and understand how I felt about it, why I felt that way, etc... When I finally agreed that we could have one more and then negotiate the 4th later, I was having health problems that threatened my fertility. It took 2 years for me to conceive. I went through so much more and worked so much harder to get my third child that I appreciate her presence in our lives so much more than I did the other 2 at the same age. The other two were so easy to conceive, easy to care for, easy to find a babysitter for. I can't imagine my life without any of my kids, but I didn't actually know what I was missing until they were here in my arms. That being said, every family is different, as you can tell by all the different responses you've received. The most important thing is that you and your husband be on the same page about it. You say yes, he says no. So if you do it anyway, he gets to blame you if things don't go well? No. You beat yourself up because he didn't want #3 and you did it anyway? No. Those are not real healthy options. Pray on it, meditate on it, whatever you need to do to reflect on this situation. Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. Maybe through communication, you can come to a middle ground, where you are both happy with the compromise, whether it's waiting a little longer, or whatever other solution you may come up with.
I wish you luck and happiness in whatever decision you make together.
P.

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M.V.

answers from Dallas on

Hello K.,
I have three wonderful children a son who is 8 yrs, and two daughters that are 6 and 4. We absolutly love having three children. When I went from having 1 to 2 that was a big adjustment but when our third came along it was not a big difference it was much easier. I am now pregnant with my fourth and we are all so excited my children can't wait to have another brother or sister. Big families are so much fun. You just neeed to follow your heart. I did not feel complete after my second. Good Luck to you.
M.

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