Screams in the Car

my guy screamed like that too. Time was the only thing that helped... He's nearly 6 months now and car rides are much better.

A mirror helped a little (so he could see that i still EXISTED even though I was out of sight) and singing sometimes helped. This is a weird one, but white noise-- like inbetween stations on the radio--helped a bit.

Hi M.! Some babies just don't like to be in a car seat....but what worked for mine was to get those little toys that attach to the car seat and make music or light up. I even found one that had a remote control that you could push from the front seat and it would light up and play music. Mine both loved it and it really helped when they got fussy in the car. There are even some for when they get a little bigger and are still backward facing, that when they kick there legs and touch it with there feet it starts the music. I think they just need some stimulation so that they just don't get bored looking at the back of the seat! I hope that helps!! Good luck!! :)

Hi M., I don't want to be too harsh, but I have heard first hand stories as an insurance agent and you absolutely under no circumstances should EVER have a baby/child out of their carseat!!!! To be frank, would you rather have a crying child, or a dead one? I understand your frustration, but please never resort to taking her out of her carseat while the car is driving. I hope you find something that will work for you! Good luck!

Hey M.,

Look, I used to nurse my girl and my boy in the car sometimes, as well. Could something happen? Absolutely. In my case, nothing did, and I bet you'll be okay, too, for all the more often you resort to this solution. C'mon, Faith, letting your baby scream for an half an hour isn't the right choice, either, and M. already told you she feels paranoid-no need for scare tactics! Honey, this is a phase, and if you can at all avoid the long trips right now, that's what I'd do. We did for almost the entirety of our two little ones' infancies/toddlerhoods. Some babies hate the car, period. So, I'd keep the traveling down to the bare minimum at this point until she outgrows it. However, don't freak out too much about the nursing in the car thing. Next time, if you MUST travel a long distance, try to pull over for the time it takes to calm her. Build that into your travel time. What used to take us 3 hours inevitably takes us 5 or 6 after the arrival of our little cutems. Take care, and good luck, my friend.

A.

My son has always done okay in the car as long as he has his pacifier. Sometimes I would have to hold the pacifier or his hand to get him to settle down. I also usually put a receiving blanket over his carseat so he wouldn't be distracted by what was going by around him. I do also try to limit our car rides to during his regular nap times. If it's the carseat your daughter hates, maybe try putting her down for a nap in her carseat once in a while.

As far as the tummy sleeping, DO NOT let anyone make you feel bad about that! Our son (now 9 months) has always preferred sleeping on his tummy. According to our pediatrician, once babies can move their head from side to side to prevent smothering themselves with the mattress, it is safe for them to sleeep on their tummies... for our son, this was 8 weeks. It's fabulous when they are old enough and strong enough to roll themselves over onto their tummies.

Good luck!

My daughter did not really love the car when she was an infant. Then we moved across the country. She had no choice but to cry sometimes. My husband would stop the car frequently, get out, walk her around, and I would feed her. Then she had to be back in her seat. It made the trip longer (there were times when I thought we would be on the road forever), but at least she was safe. I agree with Faith that it just isn't worth the risk to get her out while in a moving car. The chances are you would be ok, but I am sure that is what the families of accident victims thought as well.

Sorry to tell you, but both of my kids hated the car and cried as infants everytime we were in it and are now "non-car sleepers" as a result. It got better as they got older. They crying stopped, but the whining began into toddlerhood. Now they are 6 years and 3 years. They don't cry or whine anymore, but they will NOT fall asleep in the car on long rides, which makes it a LONG trip. One thing you may want to try is possibly getting a dvd player than can hang off the seat. Play the Baby Enstein videos for her. Those videos always seem to calm babies. In regard to your taking her out of her seat to nurse....BAD IDEA! Not only are you breaking the law, but you're putting her in EXTREME danger of DYING if your husband has to suddenly break or if he gets in an accident. As I mentioned, my kids did the same as yours and we just did a lot of stopping along the way on trips to take them out of the car seat and feed. Many 8 hour trips took 12 hours, which sucks, but that's just the way it is! You need to keep her safe while in a car, not put her life in danger for your own convenience. I"m sorry I sound harsh, but you should NOT be taking her out of her seat no matter how tempting. Is it worth putting her in danger of death? Try the dvd player. It may help distract her.

Hi M.,
I did not travel alone with my daughter for this exact same reason. But when my husband, daughter and myself would go anywhere together one of us always rode in the back seat with her. it worked for us. And we just played with her the best we could when she was that little.

As far as takig her out of her seat...I won't go into detail or be mean because you are already aware of the danger but I will say this, my husband was a Fire Fighter/Paramedic for 16 years and oh the horror he has to live for the "accidents" that he has been on for the sake of "convenience" adn "peace and quiet".

I know you will keep this in mind when you travel and be safe. Keep yourself and your baby safe by staying in your seatbelts. They do save lives.

Accidents are not something planned, they just happen and they can be fatal.

Please keep your family safe.

Good luck.

My nephews both hated their car seats and riding in the car until they were finally able to be turned forward- and one was a tummy sleeper (I wonder the connection?). I know that is a ways away, so my advice is to get a little DVD player and some Baby Einsein videos. My daughter gets car sick and can't do anything else in the car, so I don't mind letting her watch videos in the car. It has been our trip (and momma's sanity) saver many times. Good luck!

You have gotten some great responses. I'm sure you will find what will best distract your child. Anytime they are fussy, at any age, distraction is the best answer. If you have not already seen this video, this shows what happens in an accident if you are holding your child:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giYQE1Hskjc&feature=re...

My daughter was like that, she suffered from acid reflux and colic and was a mess in the car. She also slept on he stomach due to the reflux. This is what I did to make the car ride better. Did not fix it completely but it did help. I put in a mirror I could see her but she could see herself. I used the leap frog caterpillar that plays classical music to help keep her entertained. I blew up a picture of me and put it on the back seat that helped a lot. Finally when nothing else worked I cover up her view of the back window where everything whizzed by her and that seemed to always work. Good luck it gets better. She got a lot better at 6 months when I moved her from the infant carrier to a convertible seat. She was able to sit up more and this helped her reflex. She was happiest when we finally turned her forward facing at a year.

Oh, how I know your pain! My 9 month old son screamed his little head off EVERY car ride no matter how short or long for the first 7 months of his little life. He is just now getting pleasant in the car, I still hold my breath when I buckle him in. Getting the bigger car seat (he grew out of his infant seat at 6 months) helped and I really think it was just time too. He is and has always been a tummy sleeper, he had reflux too. I tried everything to make him happy in the car; music, movies, mirror, swaddling, neck support, inclining the carseat (which was probably not safe, but I was desperate). My older 3 kids always loved the car, infact I used the car as a last resort to get them to sleep when they were fussy. But my little man was totally different! I had a friend who said it wasn't until her son faced forward (18 months old is now the new rule) that he was happy in the car. Every kid is different. My only consolation for you is....your baby WILL grow out of it someday!! God bless you and safe driving!

You are not alone. I would drive my son (now 8 months) to my parents house and back every week. He would scream the whole time (1 hr drive). He would do this for 5 months! Then I got a dvd player and he got distracted by the videos and he loves it!

M.,

I feel your pain. My little boy is 5mos old and it is now starting to get better, but he was the same as your daughter. Whenever my husband and I travel I always sit in the back with him, that helps. I give him plenty of toys to play with. I also try to time trips for when I know he is going to be happiest, after a meal and a nap. I try to take trips close to home if I can. Sometimes, none of these things help so I just try to sing to him and tell him we are almost there. I hope that it gets better as she gets older. I thought it might have something to do with them facing the rear, maybe motion sickness?
Good luck!

You are not alone! The good news is she will get past this stage...I have two sons, 5 and 8 months, and they both HATE the car. When my first son was an infant, he would scream so much, he'd actually throw up. For him, we played some CD's for baby and it calmed him a little but didn't always work. He would actually sleep for us if the trip was longer than 15 minutes or so. My baby now is slowly getting past this stage. Some car rides are peaceful - others, not so much. For him, me singing to him actually works. Trust me - I'm no singer but the ABC song, Old McDonald and Twinkle, Twinkle...will sooth him for a little while. It seems like once they turn a year old and they can face forward, they like the car a lot better. For your sanity, just try to keep reminding yourself she's ok. She's just mad because she doesn't want to be in that seat. Please, resist the urge to pull her out and drive - I know it's hard. I used to break out in a sweat when they would start screaming in the car. There were times when we'd pull over, feed to get some peace and then start driving again. Good luck!

My son did the same thing in the car for the first few months. Luckily, he adapted. One of the things that helped him was hanging one of those child safe mirrors on the back of the seat. He enjoyed looking at himself and the car he was in most often had a mirror that also had lights and sounds for when he got particularly fussy. It worked so well for so long that I was actually nervous about turning him around because we couldn't connect the mirror so he could see it when he was forward facing. Fortunately, he's found other things to amuse himself in the car as he's gotten older.

A friend of mine had a daughter who did not like the car and she also nursed her on long trips - but with the baby in the car seat. She has a larger chest even when she's not breastfeeding and was also tall enough to be able to lean over the carseat while they were both buckled up. If you can't do this, PLEASE pull the car over when you take your child out of the car seat.

Yep, been there, done that. My son HATED the car. (From the time he was born) We couldn't even drive a block without him screaming at the top of his lungs. I would reach back and give him a finger to suck on, to keep him quieter for a few minutes. When we had to be in the car for longer trips, I memorized Dr. Suess's "Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can you" and would hold the book so that he could see the pictures, and would recite the book to him over and over again. For him this was the one book that would work. Now, he's 12 and still HATES the car. He no longer screams though. :) He told me that the problem for him with the car (and always has been) is that he can't stand the confinement of it. He wants to wiggle and move around, and you just can't do that in a car. Good luck with you little one.

My boys did not do this, but I've heard of others who have. They were able to overcome this in time by placing your child on top of the dryer in their car seat, to fall asleep. No rocking them to sleep, let them scream it out, until they fall asleep. In addition, you can place your child in the car seat, in the house, througout the day. They will get used to falling asleep, and even sitting up, playing in this position, and then it won't scare them when they wake up in this position.

Good luck!

Have you talked with your doctor? maybe something about the car makes her feel bad. Whatever you do, please do not take her out of the car seat while you are driving. Have you ever heard the saying, "You never unbuckle a dead baby"??

Hi,
We travel a lot with our kids. Sometimes the strangest things occupy the kids in the car when they go crazy. Once we pulled out an old car manual and for some reason it fascinated our son for an hour. We found a product that might help you out. It clips to your car interior light. It normally lets the kids eat their food in the back with the light on when it is dark outside. It doesn't distract the driver either. What you can do is turn it around and it acts as a billboard for your car. You can decorate it yourself or buy one their stickers for it. Try fitting it when they start crying and using it as a fascination device. (you can buy it online at www.lightshield.com.au) Could be the thing that saves the day!!

My daughter used to do this too! I always felt that she was bored in the car. She still is! She loves to complain about how all of the different parts of the carseat are hurting her and how she would like the car more if she had a pink carseat, blah, blah, blah. She is a VERY vocal three year old!

Anyway, the only thing that worked for us was me singing. Seriously. One day I just started singing, "If you're happy and you know it," over her crying. She all of a sudden stopped crying and I said, "Hi, baby, did you like my singing?" And then I kept singing. Having her know that I was there, helped a great deal. She slept in her carseat only if I rolled up a small blanket and put it on one side. I made sure to have a little mirror on the back of the seat, so I could see her, but she also loved this for looking at herself. It really did get better as she got older and if she did cry, I would start singing. We also had a pacifier and I kept extras up front and I would reach back and put it in her mouth at a stop light. I hope this helps-just some things I found that worked for us.

Hey M., sorry I don't have any advice for you. Just wanted you to know that my daughter was the SAME way and I feel your pain! My older son would sleep for a couple of hours in his car seat on longer trips when he was a baby (they were both tummy sleepers) and she would sleep for 20/30 minutes and then SCREAM! She cried and screamed just for short trips around town. She screamed the worst when she was a newborn to a few months old and it gradually got better, especially when she moved to a forward facing seat. At first, I always would question - is she tired, is she hungry, is she gassy/uncomfortable? I don't think it was any physical reason though; I think it's just her personality. She is VERY independent and headstrong. There were several times when I would do the same thing as you - climb in the back and hold her or nurse her because you can only take the screaming for so long. (For those who argue safety vs. screaming, it is my opinion they have never been in a car for a long period of time with a screaming, unconsolable child. : ) It will get better, but is frustrating in the meantime. Good luck to you!!

My son and daughter are both tummy sleepers and absolutely hated riding in their infant seats. My daughter would scream every time we put her in her car seat in the car. It helped a little at eight weeks of age when we took an eight hour road trip to California and she had no choice but to deal with it. We rigged a dvd player and played videos for her when she was awake and yes, we did pull over when it was time to breast feed. I was too paranoid of the what-ifs and if something did happen, not only could I not live with myself, but I've also heard that you can be charged with vehicular manslaughter (not to scare you). We moved her to Britax Roundabout right at 6 months and that seemed to help even more. Ever since we were able to face her forward though, she has fallen in love with her car seat and going for rides. Due to the experience we had with my daughter we decided to move my son to the Roundabout right at four months and are now looking forward to turning his seat around in a couple of weeks.....yeah!! So there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang in there. Toys do seem to help as well. Anything that you can either hang from the back headrest or from their seat. All the better if it lights up and plays music.

Hi M.!

We experienced the same thing with our daughter, who is now almost four years old. I am sorry to report that we did not have a lot of success until she became old enough to be interested in movies. By the time she was about 9 months old, we got a small dvd player for our van and she began to watch movies and stop screaming. Now she is perfectly happy in the car, with our without a movie to watch. We did find out later that she has some vestibular issues (auditory/balance) that may have been contributing to her being so upset in the car. Hope it gets settled for you soon, I remember those days!

-Jen

You might want to try taking the carseat out of the car - and using it during the day without going on a ride - so she learns to associate that carseat with pleasant memories/experiences.

Best,
C.

Have you tried swaddling her before putting her in the carseat? I used to travel frequently with my oldest son when he was that age and like your child, he would sleep for a few minutes and then wake up screaming. I finally
resorted to travelling during his normal sleeping hours and that worked well.

My little one is the same way! She is also a tummy sleeper. I put a mirror for her to look at herself and some toys to look at. I also always put a stuffed animal in her lap. If she freaks out, I nurse her while someone else drives (I just lean over the seat. It's not so comfortable, but it works). She's getting much better!

My now 6 year old was like that when she was under a year. She was uncomfortable or something and hated her car seat although her older sister had no problem. We would make the 6 hour drive to my parents' house in CA and it was torture. A couple of things seemed to help... when she was finally drinking juice, I would have a really watered down bottle for her to suck on, I would sometimes sit next to her where she could see me, or we would drive at night when she was extra tired. I would give in and nurse her sometimes while we were driving.... and she was also a tummy sleeper... all 4 of mine were. Good luck... sometimes if I just put my hand on her face it seemed to help. She seemed to get a little better when she could be forward facing.

My son hated the car when he was little (he's 9 months now). We tried everything we could think of...I too, did the bad deed of nursing while the car is moving. I only did it once because I was too paranoid to ever try it again...but I know your pain :) There are two things that finally worked for us. First, we got a mirror that hangs in front of him while he's in the carseat. This way he can see himself and doesn't feel like he's all by himself. We kind of had to get creative though. The mirrors that are designed to go on a headrest are for the headrests on the front seats...they're meant for forward facing kids apparently. Anyway, ours came with a tether (or maybe my husband just made it...) and so we hooked one end of the tether to one side of the car (where you can put hangers) and stretched it across to the other side of the car and put it on the other hanger thing. Then we just hung the mirror on that right in front of our son. The mirror isn't real glass so there's no worry about him breaking it and the tether is extremely tight so there's no risk of him pulling it down and strangling himself. It only took one trip for him to fall in love with it! He immediately started talking to himself and giving himself kisses! Next, we discovered that he's afraid of the dark. So when we would drive at night he'd still be upset. We started turning on the overhead light and all was well again. My husband's overhead light is broken so we bought an LED light that you can hang in your closet...it just has a top like a hanger and we hang it up in the back by the door. I hope maybe one of those tricks will help you! We also found that giving him a toy that makes noise can sometimes distract him so he forgets he's in the car. Oh, and we did the pacifier and singing thing that the other poster mentioned, too. Good luck!!!

I personally never had that problem, however, I have known people that have. I would suggest that you get her hearing checked. often times that is an issue when the child is in the car their hearing changes because of the difference in pressure...try opening windows. I am not a doctor, but I would definitely have your baby's hearing checked. if that is fine then maybe you are one of the unlucky few who have a child that just does not like car rides. best of luck.

Oh my goodness sounds just like my youngest daughter. Who will turn 18 this May. What I can remember we ended up aborting long trips. I did the breast feeding in the back seat also. Her dad and and I checked all strappings. found that they were hurting her. We put receiving blankets between daughter and straps. Had to wait few more months for the CA trip. Had to also put more padding in seat.
I don't know if this will help. Just brought back memories
Good luck,
D.

My daughter did that too. She didn't like the car until she was sitting forward (which I also did at 19lbs & 11 months (early)). I would nurse her in the backseat as well. Don't feel guilty. You know whoever is driving isnt being a careless driver & looking out for those who are. I hated having to defend that - just have them drive with her ; ) And with my son-at 3 months I started putting him to sleep on his tummy-cuz he slept better. Back in the day Tummy sleeping was "best" & carseats weren't required. Just do your thing girl & tell yourself that you're doing the best you can for your little girl!

If she's startling herself awake, she might enjoy being swaddled. You have to be careful in a carseat, obviously, but it can be done. Here's an idea from a mom on a message board here on mamasource:

http://www.mamasource.com/article/ideas-for-swaddling-in-...

"I swaddle my little boy in his car seat with a blanket. I just take the blanket I use to swaddle him normally, and lay it in his car seat. I set him in on top of the blanket, then buckle him, and then I swaddle him by wrapping the edges of the blanket around him and tucking them under. That way he's buckled properly, and also comfortably swaddled at the same time. It keeps him calm."

They also mentioned a specially-made car seat swaddler here:

http://www.kiddopotamus.com/p_swdltrvl.php

Definitely something I wish I'd had for my little one. Babies that age just like to feel snug and car seats are SO big for them at first. I used to roll up a couple of plush receiving blankets and wedge them along my babies hips and shoulders (after she was buckled, of course) to give that extra bit of snugness as well. This is actually a great thing for safety as well, since there will be less room to bounce around in the event of a crash.

We also used these pillow things for head support and I CANNOT recommend them strongly enough:

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2403258

Nothing keeps a baby awake more than having their head flop around at every red light and turn and these pillows are a great fix. The only place I've seen them at is BabiesR'Us so hopefully you have one nearby. They velcro around the car seat straps and stay in place nicely.

I completely understand the temptation to nurse while driving (and I'm sure you've already gotten some grief over your confession here) but I just wanted to encourage you to consider pulling over instead. Nursing will only set you back a few minutes and the baby will be SO much safer. Also, the sooner you get her interested in a good pacifier, the sooner she'll be able to soothe herself.

Good luck to you, Sweetie. And hang in there!!!

My oldest did this around 3 mos also. I would have to pull over frequently and take breaks because it was making me crazy! I don't have a magic solution for you but I can tell you that mine grew out of it within a couple of months. Hang in there!

Oh my gosh, my son (who is now 8 yrs old) did that too. Everywhere we went he would scream. It was awful. He too was a stomach sleeper. I never took him out of his seat, too afraid of that, but I can tell you that when he was 1yr old and was finally able to no longer be rear facing, he stopped screaming. Maybe that rear facing thing makes some babies a little car sick? Just a thought. Hang in there.