Scheduling Sex

Maybe I'm naive about the medication but doesn't it last for a while? Or does it take awhile for the medication to take effect? Either way, I don't see where there is a "snap to it and get excited" aspect to it. My husband and I actually enjoy the idea of "scheduling" sex. We have to young children and it gives us something to tease each other with and look forward to at the end of the day.

I think this is probably a much deeper issue than scheduling sex. You have surely been through a lot with your husband's diagnosis. Have you considered counseling sessions with a sex positive therapist to vent some of your frustrations in having to deal with his illness all these years. You owe it to yourself to be in a good place as well.

I'm sorry about your husband's illness.

I'm also sorry that I don't see a problem with scheduling sex =-)

My husband and I do that all the time. For me it's the anticipation that gets me all excited. Just knowing what is going to happen later in the day gets me and hubby all eager about it.

Well, not exactly because of any physical liitations, but with a 3.5 yr old, who's a busybody, a 7 month old, and a husband that works 50+ hours a week, even when we plan on having sex one of us is bound to fall asleep before doing it! Ha! Once I tried to just roll my husband over while he was sleeping(I'm not even 5'3'' and he's 6' 200+ lbs!) Oh it was hilarious, looking back but boy, wasw I angry that time! You know, I'd say if you're going to schedule sex, don't just schedule the sex. We're just not wired like men, we need a little cajoling, and not in the nagging pleading sense, either. Maybe try scheduling an adult date night. Go to dinner, stay in and have some wine and conversation, if you have anyone to watch the kids it might really improve the relationship overall, making some fun memories, and encouraging communication(not that I'm getting at your relationship is lacking in any of those areas). I know sometimes, just me and my husband working on a project together like yardwork, getting all active together has been good for the relations part of things. Hope this helps!

Well, if you have 30 minutes of waiting for the Cialis to take effect why don't you have your husband engage in foreplay during that time? That should help to get you in the mood. Or could he possibly take it once you are feeling a little frisky (or are you saying you don't want to have sex?)? You would have to wait 30 minutes but you could use that time for other things.....shave your legs, get or give a back rub, foreplay, etc. and maybe it wouldn't feel so scheduled. Or maybe you could schedule an entire evening around the Cialis (not the most romantic thing but people have to work around schedules all the time). Go out to dinner or to a movie or whatever it is you like to do and have hubs pop the pill 30 minutes before arriving home. I hope you find a solution. Good luck.

Ask your ob doctor to prescribe a Testosterone cream for you, to help get you in the mood the same way your hubby's being helped to get in the 'mood'...rub a little into the underside of your wrists, or on your inner thighs, and within 30 minutes, your desire will be rarin' to go! No lie. I had to do this when i had zero desire, at any time, for years! (And i'm only 37) I finally talked to my gynecologist about it & he prescribed this cream for me. Talk about instant libido! Within the 30 minute time frame it takes for his Cialis to kick in, you'll be ready too. It's not fair that we women always have to 'take one for the team' & do it when we really don'twant to...or have to mentally psych ourselves up. This cream will do for a woman what Cialis does for a man...and it's on an 'as wanted' basis. Give it a try if your Doc agrees!

This post makes me think about a question I seen on the skinny scoop about scheduling sex....

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/question/q/1433?utm_campaig...

as moms theres always less spontanious options. I think changing your thinking about it would help alot. think of it like a pill that sets you free, instead of something you have to schedule.

the reality being what it is a little innocent denial never hurt

.

Foreplay comes in 2 types, mental and physical, and 90% of the process falls into the mental category. Mental foreplay can be hours or days. Setting a date and time isn't necessary. Make an effort to do little things for each other without sex as a goal ----little notes in his lunch or pocket or car, a pat on the bottom, a kiss on the neck and a whispered tease on his way out the door, help with the housework, you get the idea. The more you connect on that level, the more willing you'll both be to take it to the physical level. When you agree that "this" is the night to take the pill, the physical foreplay can take over. If you commit to 30 minutes of foreplay before any sex, you'll both be ready to go when he's ready. Sex isn't the real goal, intimacy is. Anybody can have sex if they want to--- making love is way better, and he doesn't need an erection pill to make love to you. Accept whatever he can do with love and gratitude.

My hubby travels in his job and he is only home for one or two days each month, so I can relate to the scheduling thing. It bothers me that I "have to" get in the mood when he is home, or we just don't do it.

Sad how love and sex are all messed up in our society. I try to think of it as a gift we give each other that no one else can give, and then I fake it when necessary, but sometimes it turns out pretty good.

It sounds like you love your husband...and want him to get better. I think you will work it out.
Marriage isn't a sprint...it's a marathon.

I suggest that scheduling a "date night" and doing things that you both truely enjoy like dinner out or walk in the rain(I love it), renting a movie that you would both enjoy, light candles, and do the romantic kinds of things that he;ped you fall and stay in love. Sex is only one part of the picture. Because the medication works within 30 minutes I see the plan differently than just planning for sex. I say when the mood moves you both, then take the medication. It does not have to be on a specific schedule like Tuesday at 9pm. Relax and enjoy your evened out emotionally husband.

I sort of had a spell were i just didn't want it ever, But knowing it is a gift to him ( and that would pss me off, him telling you it was for you but really it's for him) and even if he doesn't realize it it is a secret gift you are giving him.

ok so, it's silly but what worked for me was lighting candles, and having 20 minutes or so alone to get dressed up, and relax and breath, maybe put on some lotion really helped me to not be so disgusted with him,

I hope you work things out, and i hope you find a way to tell him what pleases you. We haven't tried those his and hers Kyjelly things, but that might be a suggestions.
good luck.