So my boyfried has 2 boys 12 and 8. He recently finished the basement in his house and moved them downstairs and into their own bedrooms when they used to share. His 8 year old is terrified of being down there and won't sleep in his room. He generally sleeps on the floor in his old room, with his dad, or the floor in his brothers room. While dad doesn't let him watch scary movies, their mom does and doesn't understand the impact it has so she won't stop. The lil one talks of ghosts or people coming through the window and shooting him in the chest with a shotgun. We have tried everything we can think of from bribing, to him staying in his room for hours at a time during the day to see that it's ok, sleeping with him, blessing the room, giving him protection stuff, making the dog sleep with him, etc. Got anything else?
As for his fear of someone breaking in a shooting him. If you know of any police officers or sheriffs officers you can have one tell him that they keep a close eye on the house so not to worry about that. These guys are pretty friendly and don't mind helping families once in a while for stuff like this.
I can't imagine letting my 8 YO watch scary movies! He's got enough of an imagination w/o adding movie scary to it. My son had a couple of scary nightmares & I passed down the bear I've slept with since hubby & I were dating. Since you're just Dad's girlfriend (sorry, stepmom myself-I'll never be what they want, only Dad will do here), it'll probably have to be something of Dad's that you pass on to him (sleep with for at least a week to get a good "dad smell" to it). Try a Native American website or store & look for a dream catcher-let him pick his own. They're supposed to trap bad spirits & vibes from getting to the sleeper (hang it above his bed). Sage is supposed to get rid of bad vibes, maybe having him help burn it will help. All the protection & blessings in the world won't help unless he believes it will work. Cover his windows with cool curtains so he can't see anything bad out there. Night light, Christmas or rope lights lining the steps so he doesn't feel stuck in the basement alone. Home Alone has a scary basement-the furnace is way scary to Kevin until he stays home alone & realizes there's nothing scary there. Maybe some "it's not scary down here" reinforcement will work: movies, books..
Good luck!!
maybe something of big brother's will work. My son's last nightmare he was awake for a good hour coming down from the scariness of it. My older SS gave him his Shrek stuffed guy to sleep with-my bear was cool, but this was his big brother giving him something to sleep with. Is there something big brother is willing to part with, at least for a bit?
Hi Tiff--
I'm going to go out on a limb here, but are you sure he can't actually sense things? I did when I was a child, and both my son's now also pick up things with a "sixth" sense. If you want to explore this idea further I'd be happy to speak with you about it.
Good luck!
J.
I didn't grow up with basements, so they always freak me out a little. Make sure that everything is well lit, nightlights where needed. Make sure that posters, wall art, etc. is bright and fun. Is there a play area down there with all their toys? Maybe also a walkie talkie? To each other, and to you guys (separate set if needed)? Part of what freaked me out was how far away everyone else seemed, knowing that they can "call out" to you may help reassure them. Don't know if any of this will work, but good luck.
Is there any reason that they can't go back to their old room?
Hi Tiff, I was terrified of my parents basement as well. LOL!! Make sure that the stairs going down are well lit. Maybe let him watch cartoons in his room before bed, see if that might help. You may be against a tv in his room, but keeping his mind occupied with something other than his imagination. My son goes thru phases where he gets freaked out about dragons or vampires, on those nights I let him watch 20 minutes of cartoons then he dozes right off. We tried reading, putting up dream catchers, I think it made it all worse. He has not had to use the tv in weeks, but its there in a pinch!! Good luck!
I had to laugh just a little... I am still unnerved by my parents basement! The best advise I can share is to make it a fun place. Maybe spend more time down there playing board games or reading books. Once he associates the space with fun activities, it may become more familiar and comfortable for him.
good luck!
Basements are creepy! I hated when I was exiled to my Aunts when we visited not to mentioned still have to hold my breath going up ours at night when its dark behind me. Perhaps even though he has his brother down there he feels cut off from everyone. I know when my friend moved her girls into separate rooms, even though they said they wanted their own rooms they had a time adjusting to sleeping alone. Make sure his brother isn't adding fuel to the fire. I remember how often my big brother would scare the daylights out of me. Just give him time and make the basement a fun safe place. It sounds like your doing all the right stuff, I wish I could offer up any new ideas. Let him voice his fears and work through them. Best of wishes to everyone and good luck.
We have always had an "open door" policy regarding sleep. Wherever a child wishes to sleep is fine *as long as* everyone gets sleep. This includes "setting up camp" by means of a sleeping bag and pillow that can travel with the child. My daughter elected to sleep in her brothers' room for a couple years on a soft bed on the floor. Then one day she moved to her own room. No big deal! It encouraged the kids to keep their floors clean. :) Now my 4 year old travels between bedrooms; he goes to sleep when it's time, and has a good night sleep. I think flexibility will be your key. Good luck!
A.
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