Sahm's How Did You Know You Were Ready to Go Back to Work?

Updated on March 29, 2012
S.F. asks from Columbia, SC
13 answers

I have been a SAHM for a little over 2 years. And I think I'm ready...to go back to work that is. How did you guys know it was time?

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So What Happened?

Well thanks ladies for all ur insight and opinions! I can relate to all of them. I think for me its just time. I always loved working but became a SAHM because I wanted to give them a different kind of head start and I realized that I loved them more! lol! ...but Im not looking forward to pinching more pennies this year and having to be so frugal. I want to be able to do the extra things for my kids and family that we cant afford unless I go back to work. And honestly I miss that appreciation and independence that I find in a job. Maybe if my husband didnt throw the fact that I dont make any money of my own in my face every time hes mad I might possibly feel a bit more appreciated...but either way...its been a good 2 years of SAHM life and Im looking forward to career with kids life again. I have already ramped up my resume, applied to a couple of jobs, and am looking for a reputable in home sitter!

Featured Answers

T.N.

answers from Albany on

I've been more or less a SAHM for about 20 years now.

I'll let ya'll know when it's 'time'.

I actually kind of like being a housewife. And in just 3 years, when the youngest goes away to college, I will officially be a housewife, not a SAHM. Unless you count the dogs.

:)

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've never been ready to go back to work. But I was the one responsibile for making a living for our family.

I think there is too much importance placed on women to have a career because otherwise a mom is "just a housewife". I don't believe that. I believe the greatest accomplishment a woman can achieve and the greatest good work will be within the walls of her own home.

There is no success that can compensate for a failure in the home.

Good luck to you and yours.

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B.G.

answers from Champaign on

I was an adjunct instructor at the local university. The needs of the department grew, and a full-time position became available. I wanted it! We talked about it a lot since our oldest was starting school full-time but our youngest was just 2 1/2.

We needed to think about the housework (not that I've ever been very good at that), daycare, who would pick up the kids, etc. There's a lot to consider. But I really wanted the job. We knew the job would be perfect in 3 years, but would it be there in 3 years. We decided I should go for it. If I didn't get it, we would just see where life took us in a couple of years. Needless to say, I got the job.

Some things are harder. There's almost no time during the week to do housework. As soon as i get home I have about 2 hours to spend with my kids before they have to go to bed. But I really enjoy those 2 hours! The weekends are now all about quality time with them (and not just another day of "What the heck are we going to do now?") I like what I do, and I like the people I work with. I'm a much happier person, so my kids have more fun with me.

I don't know. It was just the right set of circumstances.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I was just done! I felt like I was going crazy, and I was sick of barely scraping by. My mother had passed away a few months prior and I was very raw from that and no longer had any extra help with the kids ( and couldn't afford any). It was a great decision. I think we've all been much happier!

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

When I divorced! :p

Seriously if I hadn't divorced him I would have never gone back to work. We never needed the second income and I felt like I was blessed enough to help others through volunteering.

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

In the past I was really never "ready" to go back... I was always forced to go back. Usually, maternity leave time was up or money ran out. Honestly, with everything that has happened to me in the last 5 months I don't know if I will ever be ready to go back now. Which is kinda hard for my family cause I was always the bread winner & hubby was the SAHD. He has started doing handyman stuff (drywall, roofing, yard care, snow blowing, floor installs, plumbing, ect.) which was a hobby for years to make money for now and we are hoping to get our rental going soon.

But being a SAH parent is not for everyone & sometime some people can only do it for shorter amounts of time. I don't really need a bunch of interaction with other adults... I think the little bit that I have with the school staff is enough for me, but other people need it. I do "treat" myself about once a year and have lunch with a few of my ex-coworkers, but that is because I worked with them and they were a part of my life for almost 15 years before the plant closed and they seemed like an extention of my family for so long.

If you feel you are ready, try it - if your not sure maybe a part-time job would be helpful... just a little time away, but a way to make sure its what you want to do.

Good luck either way!

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H.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is a difficult question. The answer is different for everyone. It completely depends on your own personal experience and what is going on within your family. For my family, it wasn't feasible to become a one income family, however, I didn't like the idea of working full time just to pay for childcare. Also, I work with kids and it felt really foolish to go be with other people's children all day while I left mine with somebody else. So, instead, I found a way to work while I was at home. This has worked well for us. Once my son is in elementary school, I'm sure I will probably work outside of the home fulltime. Although working and staying at home has presented additional challenges, I've enjoyed having a job because it has kept me current in my career and it has also provided me another role besides just being a mother. This was important to me, but is not always as important to others. Good luck in your decision.

"The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself." www.themommypsychologist.com

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Work is overrated... JUST KIDDING.
Lay out all your options. Pros and cons. If your married have an in depth discussion with your spouse to ensure the 'slack' will be picked up and by whom.
Good luck.

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I've been a stay at home mom for almost 10 years. I've had little part time jobs but nothing that ever interfered with the kids. (Usually babysitting in my home.)

I just got a job (literally in the past two weeks). The way I knew I was ready...all four kids were in school and I was wanting to spend things and do things and I felt bad for hubby supporting my spending habit while I was at home not doing a whole lot. (Because at this point I have a system that works for us and keeps the house clean, dishes done, laundry done, etc.)

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F.B.

answers from New York on

not a SAHM myself, but my neighbor tells me that she knew it was time for her to go back to work when she would pause her housework to sit down for her soaps. That was her wake up call.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I have been a SAHM for 7 years (my kids are 6, 4, and 1). I know I am not ready to go back to work! I am a teacher, so I will probably go back when my youngest goes to Kindergarten. Could you start back part-time to see how it goes?

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B.R.

answers from Madison on

Well we decided when we had our first that I would be a SAHM until our last child started full day kindergarten. So I have 4 more years to go!

Now for me I had to make the decision on when I would start up school again and that was two years ago. Knowing that it would take me 7 years to finish off for a bachlors as a part time or less student. With three kids and school I have a lot of work in a day...but my focus is on my children

I have been home since 2005 and although trying some days/weeks we find it to be the best thing for our children. Others may not agree it is for their family.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

it isn't-stay home with your children-no one will care for them like you do-and it is a tiny window of opportunity to get it "right" so be grateful you are able to do this! You're going to turn around and be driving them to college and kicking yourself for not having spent more time with them while you had the chance.

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