Rocky Marriage Then Another Baby Carriage?

I know this will be a controversial response, but go for it! Husbands come and go, you and any babies you love will be together forever! Keep in mind however that babies tend to make good marriages better, and bad marriages worse. Good luck to you, I LOVE babies and wish I'd been able to have even more than the tree I have!!

Babies do not fix problems they compound them. I think you should fix the bumps in the road before you try to run a semi over it.

I think you and your husband should sit down together alone and watch the movie fireproof. Check your rental store or a christain store.
Talk about it. Get the book and start the 40 day adventure.
Then after all that, then talk about another baby.

Give your husband lots of hugs and kisses.
God bless you and your family.

K.,
I would try to work the issues in the marriage first before having another baby. Usually a baby can tighten a good marriage or split a bad one, and if you are already having problems; I would think it be best for you to try to solve your issues before having another baby. Another baby, will put more stress on you and your marriage. If some of your problems are especially due to lack of communication and help from him with what you have right now, imagine adding another baby to your family! it means more work, more sleepless nights, more help needed, etc.
Think about it, pray about it and talk to him. If you guys can go to a counselor first and try to work things out amongst yourselves it would be better, and as your marriage takes off again then you can think in adding to the family :)
Blessings

A baby won't fix a marriage. A child cannot come into this world with a job (like making a marriage "better"). I can appreciate where you're coming from. I thought I wasn't done having babies, but now my husband and I are having serious issues. Please don't choose to have a baby for selfish reasons, just wait. Maybe you and your hubby can take advantage of this time to strengthen your marriage instead of taking on another stress on how to take care of another child. Then who knows, maybe very soon you guys will be more than ready to bring a baby into the mix!!
Best wishes!

Well, let's think about this.... would you want a builder to build your house on an unstable foundation? Should you really be building more of a family when your marriage is so unstable?

Get the marriage issues dealt with first. It could be that his wanting to have another baby is a way of offering an olive branch. But get things smoothed out before you go for #2. Counseling would be a good idea, too.

(We had the same situation, sort of. Really rocky time for about 5 months, then got things dealt with and were ready for another baby. I am so glad we had those issues dealt with before the baby, or the marriage would not have survived).

DON'T HAVE ANOTHER BABY UNTIL YOU CAN BE VERY SECURE IN YOUR MARRIAGE. PREGNANCY AnD BABIES ARE NOT THE THING YOU NEED.

Go to marriage counseling or a lawyer but don't get pregnant.

Just my 2 cents worth. M. -mom to 3 adults and 11 grandkids

As you know if you already have a child, having a new baby in the house puts more, not less, strain on a marriage. Is your hubby (and are you) willing to go to counseling first and get things ironed out, including planning how to maintain a healthy marriage through pregnancy/new baby? If your marriage continues to drift towards the rocks, are you willing to risk a break-up and a new baby happening at the same time?

So be pleased as punch. discuss with him how excited you are and will be to get started once you are able to feel things out for a bit. Then do so :)

if he can't understand he is doing it as only a way to keep you around. Any grown man husband and father with nothing to gain or lose from a little extra time to think things through would see this as a wise decision and look forward to the getting started too.

If you want more kids then have more but be honest that a baby is realy all you want and you'd rather he just go anyway...then remember he'll have rights too, all the same ones you've got once that child comes into the world.

Ps. That child should have rights as well, all children should have the right to come into the world wanted and loved and not as pawns or possesions

You are right to be cautious. Whether or not his motives are in the right place, you would be wise to wait until things are better in your marriage before you have another child. A new baby can amplify marital problems. I've been there, I had a newborn at a time when my marriage was at it's worse. I look back and feel like I missed out on the joys of a new baby because I was so stressed and overwhelmed by my marriage. Take time to heal the problem before taking on any major change, especially a baby.
Blessings to you and your family!

the sleep deprivation alone can really bring out a person's worst side. add in your changing hormones, the extra work of taking care of a new little one, and the tension that comes from big change. it's hard even when marriages are going well. that being said, there were many things in our lives that were not the way i had wanted them to be before having our 3rd child. but after praying about the decision, we felt differently and chose to have the baby sooner, before the other things were "fixed". our 3rd baby has been a joy to all of us. some of the problems are still there, but we have managed; others have improved. we are glad we asked God about it. but we also had to work on our marriage. we didn't just have a baby because God wanted it and then hope that everything else would work out on its own. but remembering the experience of praying about the baby has been a support when times were tough. good luck and God bless!

Please don't have a baby right now.

i think every situation is different. I don't think you can get any one answer that will tell you what to do--statistically bringing a baby into a bad marriage speeds up the ending of it. sometimes it brings people closer together and to realize what is important and bring them back to focus on the little things and what is really important. if you were my sister asking me I would ask how do you feel, honestly feel about having a baby right now if things were to stay exactly the same? if he doesn't change, are you prepared to care for the kids you have and another one on your own? what is your game plan financially etc. if you were to divorce? not to tell you not to do it but to say look at this from all angles. It concerns me that you think he may be saying this as a manipulation play to keep you around. Would you be "stuck" if you do have another baby? Ask him why now. and listen to his answer. feel it out. and trust your gut. You haven't said what the rough times are...I recommend you ask yourself what part of it are you responsible for and what can you do to change the situation. be more affectionate, the little things we stop doing as we get more comfortable in our relationships. are they things you are willing to do to change your situation? you can only change yourself, but our changes require others to respond differently sometimes for good, sometimes not. ask yourself if a baby were here right now what would be different, write it down, what parts would be better, which worse then look it over and make sure that your "better" parts aren't bringing the baby in so that there is someone to unconditionally love you because baby's do, but they will only fill that void for a little while, and the rest of your life will still be there. I'm not saying don't do it, I'm not saying do it. I'm just saying to take time to analyze the entire situation and then ask yourself what is the best decision for you, for your kids, the potential baby and your spouse.

I am 100% sure that you need to get your marriage in order before you go having other children. Why bring a baby into a crazy situation. What a burden to that baby and you. If he really means it, he will work it out so you can have a strong foundation for a new addition.

Good luck

Newborn to age 3 is super demanding on a marriage. My perception: most marriages fail when there is a child under the age of 5 in the household. An infant's demands, the baby chores, demands on your time, overall sleep deprivation, and additional financial costs (oi vey, just the cost from diapers and formula alone) will make even more tension in your marriage and distance you from strengthening your relationship. Hey, you've already gone through it; I know I'm preaching to the choir here...

I will be honest... My husband and I have a solid marriage, but after my daughter was born... newborn to 36 months was tough on us. I truly believe that the new baby phase will exaggerate any problems that were in your relationship previously.

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't tell him 'no' as much as I would say getting pregnant in 18-24 months is a timeline that you are more comfortable with. And that should give you more time to work out the current kinks in your relationship.

Honestly, I've seen way too many women have children during rough patches in their marriage to think it's a good idea! Whether or not they (or their husbands) realize it, having a child during a rough time only takes the focus off what's going wrong for a little while. After the baby is born & everything starts to settle into a routine is when (from what I've seen) everything falls apart worse than it was before! New baby stress + rough patch stress = a lot of single mothers with infants.
I really believe that problems should be worked out before even attempting to get pregnant - for the child's sake. And no, I totally do *NOT* believe that your hubby isn't using this to keep you around!