Regifting

Updated on December 29, 2011
M.L. asks from Lake in the Hills, IL
8 answers

My SIL brought me a big basket of bath sorts of things - hair towel, candles, bubble bath, wine ,etc. - a lot of nice stuff. The second gift was a very small sweater dress. I loved both and told her so. Later in the evening I decided to try the sweater dress on since it did look pretty tiny. There was NOTHING left to the imagination - it was like wearing pantyhose over my whole body!!! As I looked at the tag, which said Medium, I realized it must have been a juniors medium and then saw it was from Discovery - which meant sizes are even that much smaller as most of it is 'clubbing wear'.
Anyway - my SIL was gone from our house by that time so I just sent her a text saying, "I love the sweater dress you gave me but it is quite small - do you have the receipt so I may find a different size?"
This was sent on Christmas day - haven't heard anything from her since.
My husband said, "maybe she's been busy and that's why she hasn't responded." I said, "Well you called her that night, after the text, and she answered the phone." I told him I thought maybe she regifted and felt embarrassed therefore isn't answering.

No biggee - just wondering - have you given or received a regift? I know in these economic times it's probably done more often.

What can I do next?

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

yes I have re-gifted a gift.

We get whole-bean coffee from one our friends. We don't have a grinder so instead of telling her no - we give it to a friend of ours who LOVES whole bean coffee.

If the tags are still on it and you have a Discovery store near you - just take it in and exchange it. If they can't do that - then donate it, gift it or sell it on ebay.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I return every gift I get for store credit. If I can't return it, I regift it, but tell the person it was a gift and I can't use it or I donate it to Goodwill. I used to be an Ebay seller, back before high shipping costs made it not worth it.

I once was given a crystal bowl. When I went to return it to the small gift store it was from, the owner went off on me. I was the 9th person to try to return it in the 2.5 years since she sold it. She kept track on her computer and showed me after I told her it was a wedding gift and she was out of line. I tried 3 times to sell it on Ebay for 9.99 and no one would buy it.
I donated it. The box itself had numerous places where tape had pulled some of it off.

A friend was given a quesadilla maker. The family is still passing it around unused as the white elephant gift and it has been 9 years. It is quite the joke except to the original purchaser.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

we all regift! We play the dice game at a few of our parties....& quite simply don't need most of the junk! (we have tried & tried to get the family to change things....aaargh.....what a waste!) 90% of what we receive at MILs party is stuff we don't use/want/need!

Moving on, this year, my Mom hit new highs with regifting! She attended a "lady's luncheon" & received 5 $5 gifts. She only liked 1 of them...& then used the other 4 for her next 2 parties. All gifts were received well. & being bad daughters, my Sis & I just laughed over her antics! Oh, well!

My advice: return the dress....nope.....try to exchange the dress without the receipt.

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I regift once in awhile, with generic gifts. The funniest regift I got (also SIL) was a gift card and she accidentally (?) included the receipt... she had taken a $50 gift card that she had received and purchased a $20 gift card for me from it.

However, I doubt that the dress was a regift. She was probably embarrassed at giving you the wrong size, or had tossed/misplaced the receipt. Or perhaps she was busy when you texted and then forgot to text you back later. I've done that.

I agree with Sue, try to exchange it.

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J.G.

answers from Rockford on

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is a great story. I have regifted once. My husband's sister refuses to believe that I have skin allergies to scented lotions and most cosmetics. It's horrible, there is burning and redness involved, but she insists it's "all in your head". One year she gave me a nice gift bag, full of high end skin lotions and scrubs and things that were vanilla scented. Granted they were high end, and probably expensive, they smelled great, but a test dab on the back of my hand with a cream told me that I could not use any of it. So it sat in my linen closet for a while. Then my brother's girlfriend was pregnant and said something about wanting stuff that was just like what was in that gift bag, so I just kind of passed it along to her with a card at her baby shower, I mean my mother and I got her a bunch of baby stuff too I just added the lotion/scrub stuff to her gift. ha! ha! ha! She loved it, every bit of it.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hope you can exchange it for your size.

I have regifted generic things like body washes, candy, candles if I have an unexpected need for a fast gift. I think most people have re-gifted....a dress, though? That's a bit odd to be to re-gift. Maybe she's like me and her receipts aren't very organized!

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Some people believe a re-gift is a way of saying, "You're not worthwhile enough for me to spend money on, so here's a leftover." Maybe your SIL is afraid you're really thinking that. You aren't, of course, but maybe she is worried.

I wouldn't pursue it. Maybe you know a sweet young thing who wears a tiny size and would look good in that dress. (Then, later, if SIL asks, you can say, "I tried it on and it just didn't look good on me - but my neighbor's niece, Jenny, asked to try it on and she looked SO hot in it that her dad is going to need to buy a shotgun. She really appreciates your taste!") If you can't find such a person, a charity thrift store would benefit by having the dress.

I have a cupboard in the back corner of the laundry room where gifts are stored, and a particular re-gifting item may come out for next Christmas, or for a birthday, if I can find a good "person match" for it. If I get a gift card to a store I don't patronize, I consider it much better to pass it on to someone who will use it than to throw it away or let it sit in a drawer for five years.

I thank the giver just as I would if it had been an ideal gift. That person wasn't obligated to give me anything at all, really - and I do appreciate the thought even if I don't happen to have appreciated the item.

However, most - not all - of my friends and relatives don't mind this sort of thing. One of my best friends and I give each other second-hand and re-gifted things on principle. We're both bargain-hunters, and we have decided that the good bargain obtained by the *giver* is a part of the gift. (Do NOT try this on people who would not understand!!) This Christmas I gave her a necklace which was too short for me but was perfect for her, and she gave me a lovely book which she enjoyed very much and which I know I will, too.

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C.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I am the queen this Christmas of re-gifting. I started a new job in November and of course we did a week of secret Santa. I received lotions, coffee, mango tea, a snuggie, rum cake, small single serve vodka a gift card to Barnes & Noble and sour candy.
I am allergic to mangos, have sensitive skin, drink decaf (which I know they couldn't have guessed) don't drink alcohol but loved the sour candy.
The gifts were well intended and I appreciated being included! Each gift was PERFECT for members of my family so I added it to the gifts I had already purchased but kept the candy.

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