Reconnecting with a Friend

The average person changes 'best friends' every 7 years (that's a true statistic!)

I did recently try to reconnect with an old friend. We had had a falling out when she got married (because her husband hated me). Well, he left her, so she called me. WOW, HUGE MISTAKE trying to hang out. They're not legally divorced yet, but they're both living with their new BF/GF... she wasn't feeling well when we hung out, so I joked about her being pregnant... she took a test right then and there and WAS pregnant (omg!!), she had gained a ton of weight and wasn't taking care of her apartment, didn't have a car or a job, her kids were suspended from school for fighting (she has 4 kids!)... while I'm sitting here in the best shape I've ever been in, married with 3 kids, went to college, have a job, 2 cars, a house (we rent, but still), and my kids are all awesome.

It was seriously traumatic. We won't be hanging out again, I'm too old for that kind of drama in my life. She doesn't want help, just company, because misery loves company, and I'm not that girl.

This is one of the main reasons I love Facebook. I can keep up with everything going on in my friends lives by just logging on. Each of us can take a few minutes every hour or so just to pop on and see what's up. I play some games and am on at lots of different times throughout the day. I have made contact with over 50 of my relatives, some I have never met due to where they live. Other friends I lost contact with I have reconnected and we make plans and get together at least once a year in our hometown. It makes everything so easy.

Have you considered using Facetime or Skype to connect? That way you can see each other but not have to try and arrange to meet up. We use Facetime in my family to stay connected with relatives who don't live nearby and it's great!

Also, I've learned now that I just can't see my friends as frequently as I used to. My standards for friendship are much different. I only see my best friend every month or two because our schedules are so busy. It works.

Good luck!

We are a military family, so I am literally hundreds of miles from my best friends back home and hundreds of miles from the new ones I have made. The phone is my dearest friend in this case. I have one friend that we have a ritual. She wakes up and makes her coffee, I wake up and make my coffee, then we get on the phone before the day has started to go wonky and have our first cup of coffee together. She used to live across the street from me and we would send our kids off to school every morning then let our little ones play while we shared our first cup of coffee. We do that still, but just long distance.

You could set up a mom blog together, or even a facebook with a shared account and share info that way and also share your lives with others. It would be a project you do together, but also a great way to stay in touch and connected.

I have lots of best friends and yes, our relationships have changed. My Best friends from college? 1 she was my maid of honor, is still a good friend but she lives out of state. Her boys are now in middle school and very much into sports. She is super busy. We can pick up a phone or email months between and be right on track.. My other friend, we were in each other weddings. She just kind of disappeared once I had our daughter, but her kids were older, so she seemed to just have moved on. I would love to find her, but she never responds.

My best friends in town from High school, 2 are here and we meet once a month for a lunch and talk about once a week by phone and all of the time on FB.. The other ones from HS are around, but are busy caring for Parents or has a very busy career. (he is" kind of a big deal", hee, hee.. in his own mind in his city.)..

My business partner, right now is very ill, so I check on her every day.

Then I have moms that we saw each other all of the time whenour kids were in school, now we are doing all sorts of things, but when we run into each other, it is as though no time has passed.

To keep in touch with my busy mom friend.. I used to mail cards.. Many times with an article I found in a newspaper or magazine. Then when FB came along, I can just send a quick post either on their wall or PM them.

We try to meet for a happy hour every once in a while. Hit or miss as to whether we can get it scheduled, but we do not give up.

Make the effort, but let your friend know no pressure, you just miss seeing her.

Maybe both of you could try to make plans to meet up once a month even if it is taking the kids to the park. They could play and you two could chit chat. Yea everyday life consumes everything out of ya but we have to make time for those we love and want in our life. I find myself in the same boat. I only have Sundays off and that's when I clean and catch up on laundry. So I have been trying to do all of it on Saturday night so that I could have Sunday to take my kids somewhere and visit my family and friends. Good luck!

My friend and I don't "make plans" per se. We have a standing once a month dinner date that hell would have to freeze over to miss. My husband knows that on that day he has to be home early (we do a Fri night and it's an hour and a half drive for me and a 3 hour drive for her (but she has to be there anyway)) and he has the kids all night.

Having a set date night makes it a little harder to back out of our plans.