Reasonable Expectations for a 3 Year Old

I don't think there's anything wrong with getting up to pee, but why does she need to wake you up? As long as she's got a nightlight on along the way she should be getting up and back to bed on her own. I assume she knows how to wipe and wash her hands by now.

As long as she does NOT bother you, give her a sticker. Don't worry about anything else. Once she is not getting ANY attention from you in form of getting up with her, she will finally stop waking up.

This probably has more to do with you paying attention to her and her being used to this (now a habit) than HAVING to go to the bathroom.

I don't think you can control when your daughter needs to go, but you can control whether or not she wakes you up to do it. So I would work on teaching her to be independent in the bathroom.

3 year old (3 in Feb) sometimes needs to get up in the night to go, but he doesn't need any help and we don't have to get up. He gets up, does what he needs to do, and goes back to his room all on his own. I do wake up, because the bathroom is next to my room and I hear him go in, but I don't have to get up, which is a big difference.

Lucky you! She's not wetting the bed.
Is it THAT big of a deal to get up for 10 minutes?
Personally, I'd concentrate on teaching her how to get up & pee on her own and reward her for that rather than encouraging her to hold it or be uncomfortable. Or at least eliminate the lying down with her til she's sleeping again. IMO, that's the bigger issue.
What's that song? "It won't be like this forever..."

At 3 my DD sometimes got up at night to use the bathroom. she didn't wake me up to do this. We had enough night lights in her room and the bathroom/hallway so she could navigate on her own. Unless she was sick, she didn't wake us up. I suggest you let your daughter "practice" getting out of bed and going to the bathroom and then back to bed. Give her a flashlight or use night lights if necessary. Teach her not to wake you up unless it's an emergency. Teach her to go straight back to bed. she'll get the hang of it and you'll get some sleep. I would never try to stop someone from going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. some people have to go.

Honestly, I get up once or twice a night to pee. Physiologically, some people do. So, I do think you're being pretty unreasonable here.

What I think you can WORK toward is having her get up to pee and get back in bed without waking anyone up for a status update. You can try to facilitate that by putting a nightlight, and maybe a comforting stuffed animal, in the bathroom. But if you insist that a preschooler hold it in all night you're looking at bedwetting, bladder infections, and shame about a perfectly normal biological process -- or all of the above.

Some get up some do not. Just put her back to bed. You go to bed. Why the need for stickers. Getting up, going to bathroom and back to bed is called life. It does not need to be rewarded.

it is ok for her to get up to go pee. not to wake you up and stay up. leave a night light on so she can go and get back into bed. having said that i can tell you that when my boys were just potty trained we would have them go before bed. they would get into bed, stories etc. then have to go again before sleep. we would then go into the room before we went to bed and "walked" them into the bathroom without totally waking them up. sat them on the potty and said go pee. they did and we walked them back to the room and tucked them in. if I happened to get up in the night i did it again. and hubby did it before he left for work at 6 am. this worked for us. and we gradually dropped the extra potty times out as they got better at it themselves. i know we gave them big snack before bed also. if your little one is going to bed at 830 she may be waking because of hunger in addition to the potty thing. just a thought

Bladders develop at different rates. We have a routine of getting our 3 year old up to go to the bathroom, just before we go to sleep. He is still half asleep and falls back asleep instantly. It works well: no accidents and no middle of the night "pee breaks". We did this with our 6 year old until he was 4. It's so much easier than changing the occasional wet bed.

It is reasonable, if their bladder is ready to hold it all night. This is biological, not behavioral. She is drinking RIGHT before bed. Her bladder is not yet able to handle those liquids until morning. She is doing the next best thing, going to the bathroom and promptly going back to sleep.

I don't think you should take away a reward, since she is handling it well. She is not dawdling or begging for you. She is taking care of business, and going back to sleep.

I get into habits, too! More than likely it is a habit that the bladder gets into to pee then. Punishment is not in order. You might try resetting her internal clock. Try keeping her up late, say 10, urinate right before sending her to bed. It's possible that will reset her needs. It could possible reset when she sleeps, also, so beware.

Depends on the bladder. Try having her pee before she goes to bed.

My 3.5 year is just now not waking around 5 times a week to go pee. My eldest was the same.

I get up most nights myself.

I want to give an answer that takes your daughter's physical and emotional needs into account.

It's probably not something she can will herself to stop. Sounds like her body isn't yet producing enough of a particular hormone that reduces overnight urine production. This comes with physical maturity, not conscious control, so rewarding her for not having to pee probably wouldn't make a difference. According to pediatricians, it doesn't have much to do with drinking water in the evening, and going to bed thirsty wakes up some kids (it does me, too!).

It's fantastic that she is waking instead of wetting the bed, a definite sign of her body maturing. You might consider putting a potty chair in her room, with a small night-light, so she doesn't have to wake enough to get to the bathroom. If she can learn to manage that by herself, then she may stop calling you for help. I'd also be inclined to help her find a cuddle-mate (stuffed critter) to keep her company during the night, if she doesn't already have one. That might help her settle again.

My mom was very strict about her night-time expectations for me and my next two sisters. We were not allowed to call her during the night, no matter what, starting at early potty-training. This didn't work at all for sister #2, who was a bed-wetter until around 6. Parents used to interpret this as willful or lazy misbehavior, so she was in trouble for this every day – so sad. I remember needing comfort during very long, cold, lonely nights, but was too afraid of my mother's wrath to call her. My granny moved in with us when I was about 4.5, and she made a secret pact with us kids that we could creep into her room if we needed anything, even just a bit of reassurance. Until my mother found out and raised holy hell, just knowing comfort was available helped me relax and sleep more easily.

hmmm... my 2.5 year old goes the entire night without going the bathroom. We have an earlier schedule though. 6:00-6:30 for dinner - bedtime at 7:30. However my 5 year old took a little longer to go the entire night without needing to potty - 3.5 years old for her. I make both girls go potty right before bedtime.

That being said, I also had my oldest wear pullups until she stopped peeing at night - around 3.5 years old when she stopped. My youngest also wears pull-ups to bed at the moment. She rarely pees in them but every once in a while she does. I will do with her what I did with her sister - if she stops peeing at night for more than two weeks straight then I will switch her to panties for bed. I read somewhere that their body will start to develop enough for them to be able to hold it through the night (obviously some sooner than others). So that is the method I chose.

Sorry, but I was not one of those who wanted to wake up in the middle of the night to wake them up to ask if they need to go nor do they wake me up to tell me unless they have to poop.

My 3 year olds slept through the night. At three, I don't think a parent should ever lie and snuggle with a kid till they fall back to sleep (unless they like waking up to snuggle with their kid). That sets a pattern of waking up. If she has to pee, keep the process brief.

I agree with Doris.

Maybe try moving dinner up an hour?

Does she know, she IS allowed to go to the potty at night by herself? Can she reach the bathroom light? Can she see how to get to the bathroom by herself.

Our daughter used to wake up early in the mornings on weekends, and wait until we went in to get her, .. Then one morning she asked, "Mom may I get up?" .

I yelled back yes of course. She asked, may I watch a video? to said sure. Later that day we talked about how it was ok for her to get up in the morning and watch her videos. She was so surprised I told her you are getting to be a big girl.

We took it in steps. There was always fruit she could eat, there was a shelf with healthy snacks she could help herself. Once I found out in day care she could pour a pitcher of milk, I kept a small container in the fridge so she could make herself a bowl of cereal.

Some kids can hold it all night, some can't. If the norm for your daughter is to wake up to pee, then that's what needs to happen. I would still give her a sticker if she goes right back to sleep after she pees, otherwise it might seem to her like you're punishing her (or at least withholding reward) for going to the bathroom. Better than peeing in the bed, right?

As a little perspective: my daughter is almost 7 and wakes up at least 2-3 times per night to pee; my younger 2 stay dry all night (they're 5 and 2.5). So like I said, each kid is different.