Reading at Night

My children are ages 18 years and 15 years and I still read to them. Try changing it to when you get home from work... for you both to wind down or another time. But NEVER stop reading to them!!!

K.

As long as you enjoy ut and he wants it then continue. I agree that it will end on its own and then you will miss it.
One of the greatest gifts that can be given to a child is the love of reading. Amother is to help them to develop their inner imagination and visualization. You are doing both of those things.

S.

Enjoy it while he still likes to be read to. I went through the same with my children and yes eventually they wean themselves. They are only young once so seize the moment.

Read to your son. Enjoy it while it lasts. Even though he is literate, you can give him more advanced vocabulary and concepts in books you read to him than he can (most likely) get from his own reading level. Even if he's a great reader, you can share the book with him and answer questions. (That's the teacher talking.) And what's wrong with a little extra bonding? If you can't do it every night, then maybe sometimes you can negotiate the length of read/exact timing with your son.
E. in Tampa

As a middle school teacher- please don't stop reading w/ your son :) It is special for you and him and it only makes him a better reader/listener!

As an elementary school teacher....I only wish that all of my mommies would still be reading to their children at night. You are doing such an awesome thing for your son. Reading a book that is a bit above his level will do wonders. Just having him see that reading is important to you will make him love it...and trust me....boys start to pull away from reading. It suddenly becomes " not cool". If you don't want to be tied to it every night, try a "we will read every other night together, and you can read by yourself on the other nights." deal. See if that helps....
C.

EVERYONE likes to be read to, it does not matter how old you are. if you find it too overwhelming, just limit the time you read or the number of pages you read each night. there is no harm in reading to your child, only benefits, such as quiet time, alone time with you and your child, and the child knowing that you are spending time exclusively with him. i am 47 years old and my favorite memories are of my parents reading a book to me before bedtime. it made me feel so secure and loved. don't let your husband talk you out of it. hey, here's an idea: read a book to your husband.

Kelli,

Enjoy every minute of reading to your son! It will only last so long and then when he is older you will miss those nights of reading. House work can wait, to me the kids are more important than housework. Cleaning will always be there but those precious moments with the kids end.
Enjoy it!!

My children are not that old yet, but I personally don't think any age is too old to be reading to your children. My mother and aunt used to read to me at night and it is some of my favorite memories. It instilled in me a passion for reading which I am passing on to my own children (hopefully). It is also a great bonding experience between you two. Too often we are in such a rush to get everything accomplished throughout the day; this is a special one-on-one time just for the two of you to sit and have quiet reading time together. My husband and I are both avid readers and anytime our 2 year old daughter brings us a book and asks us to read to her, we happily curl up with her and the book.

Hi Kelli,
I know how you feel, but you might not like my advice. I would say ADAMANTLY to keep reading to him! My kids are 5, 10 and 13 and reading to them is one of the greatest bonding times we have. Especially with my older ones (girl 13 and boy 10) they love to be read to, and it'a a rare chance to be close physically and emotionally. They all also read independently - even the 5-year-old - but also all love to be read to. There's nothing greater than sharing a book! It's a great way to discuss things, etc.
Also, I always try to read the books my older child reads in school. (This may seem weird, but she wanted me to because she liked the book and thought I would too.) I have actually found some great books this way that we enjoyed discussing - and I just enjoyed. And, I work and take care of the house, etc. so it's not like I have much time to read.
Before you know it, your son will probably not want you to eat with him at school, won't let you hug him in front of his friends, etc. - but if you can keep the bond through reading, you will not regret it, I promise you.
Also, if you need support b/c of your husband's objections (and believe me, my husband also resents the long tuck-ins I give our kids because it does take time from him), ask his teacher. I've read many places that reading with your kids is one of the best things you can do for their education! And you'll encourage a lifelong love of reading.
all the best,
L.

I agree with everyone so far. My son has been going through a period of NOT wanting to read, as he is falling below level. I decided to start reading to him again, which we had done until he grew out of wanting me to when he started kindergarten.
I found a great series told through the eyes of a hamster (we have bought our first pets, gerbils, earlier this year), "The World According to Humphrey". It has re-sparked his interest in reading. We talk about the characters and review what we read the night before (comprehension), which is good practice for school. He gladly wants me to read to him again. Hearing adults who know how to read properly read outloud is wonderful for children. It teaches them HOW to read, with pauses, with effect, with emotion, as well as proper pacing. Having worked in elementary myself, I can tell you that his teacher probably has a chapter book that she reads everyday, and they continue doing so even in the higher grades, such as 4th and 5th.

I think it's a great way to introduce him to books that are over his level and too challenging for him to read himself, but he could still understand if read to.

Maybe if your husband understands the positives of being read to, and knows the teacher likely does it too, he'll stop pushing you to stop reading.

My girls are 10 & 12. It became difficult when they did not share a room. I still read to them sometimes. When my oldest was 8 I started trying to get her to read to her sister on nights when I could not. I also started checking out books on cassette, or DVD from the library, and used those some nights. We even bought some from Scholastic. Some nights now they even read to me while I do the dishes so we get that time. They will wean themselves, but you can also implement some things to allow yourself time. Or to allow your husband time when you take a girls night out.

My advice to you is to enjoy this while you can. They outgrow you quick enough without being pushed. Tell your husband to join in on this wonderful family time instead of trying to stop you from having this special time with your son.

Why would you have to stop altogether? Seems to me that if the boy loves to read, you love to read, then what's the big deal? As a former elementary school teacher, stopping a kid form reading just doesn't happen!

Perhaps you can work out a deal with him to only read a certain number of nights each week, maybe he could cash in tokens or something on the nights he wants to. That way you get 3 or 4 nights each week to take care of your own things without squashing his needs for reading and snuggling with you.

Maybe hubby ought to take a turn once in awhile too.... ;o)

I still read to my 7 year old at night... I'm not sure why you would stop! Especially since I see you're working, and he's at school all day. It's a nice time for you two to be together. What does it take, 15 to 30 minutes? It's nice to have a routine like that before bed, and it's good to have an interrupted time together at some point during the day. I don't understand why your husband would be against it... you won't be reading to him nightly when he's in college. They grow up so quickly as it is! :)

before i ramble on i wish to recommend the foloowing author and his series of books for kids.. adults LOVE them too and many think his books are much better than the Harry Potter series!!.

here is the website and an interview with him.... i have all his books and at 54 still read them..lol.
http://www.kidsreads.com/authors/au-jacques-brian.asp

here is the website for his series..YOU WILL BE AMAZED!
http://www.redwall.org/dave/jacques.html
they do not have to be read in any order..i LOVE these books...

take the time to read why and how he got writing these books!!.. he is amazing! part of the interview is as follows.

"But no matter how busy he is with his two careers, he always has time for kids. Children love Jacques. And Jacques loves children. "I get hundreds, maybe thousands of letters," he says."We answer them all. And I always add a personal P.S. and sign them all. But I like to get out and meet the readers --- the kids who have put me where I am today."

Some of Jacques' favorite fans live in the United States. "Redwall has been better received in the States than anywhere else in the world," he says. "It's captured the imaginations of children so vividly there. And in the States, children approach me with a kind of reverence."

just keep doing it until he decides not to anymore... let it be HIS idea.. that way he will not feel as though YOU do not want to read with him anymore.
there is nothing at all wrong with out loud reading to a child at any age..
perhaps the reading will continue just not with the snuggling etc.

hope your son grows to love reading and continues on his own...

H.

Hi Kelli,

Please DO NOT STOP reading to your son. Research shows that parents who read with and to their children through at least 6th grade have exceptionally bright children. Continue to read books to your son that are beyond his reading level. As you read, discuss the plot, characters, any new vocabulary, etc. This will increase your son's reading comprehension, vocabulary base, and especially his love of learning. You might want to have him read out loud to you. This can be done while you are "attending other necessary chores" just before his bedtime.

Also, your husband could read to and with his son occassionally. It is extremely important to boys that their fathers take an interest in their education. This shows your son that both of you want to see him succeed in life. By instilling a love a reading in your son, both of you are helping him become a learner for life. All education is based on reading and comprehending what you read. Many parents don't realize the difficulty of getting children to read every day. You have already instilled this with your son. Please continue to reinforce this habit of reading every day. You will find that your son will do better in school, test higher than other children, and he will love to learn new things throughout his life.

Karen - I am a mother of 4. All my children love to read; all are considered gifted learners. I have much fewer school related problems than most parents. I have a MS in Child Development and Family Life and working on a MA in Elementary Education.

Kelli,

I'd say continue to read to him as long as he will let you, because they grow up so fast and this is quality time you spend with him.

You are giving him a valuable life lesson on the written word, you are educating him, and you are also giving him a sense of security be keeping with this routine.

Dear Kelli--
KEEP READING to your son--whatever you two will enjoy for as long as possible!!! He will not get that quality of literature in school and will not develop the LOVE OF READING as a lifelong enrichment from school either!
I have 2 sons--one 25 years old and one 14 years old. I am now giving my 25-year old son and his wife the books I read to him as a child and he is reading them to his 2 young sons (age 4 and 2 years old) Both my sons are avid readers and I read to them LOTS as toddlers, children and youth.
Also, I have been tutoring in the public schools (elementary and middle school) both language arts (reading and writing) and math. In the reading area, there is no richness in what they read (my opinion) and whatever is done at home is so very valuable! So please read on, go to the library as a family (husband too!) and select books to read together. I remember on hurricane, I read a whole book to my son and husband all day and night, only breaking to check the weather and eat our meals. I lit candles and read at the dining room table and then all cozy on the couch in the living room. It is a treasured memory for us all. D.

There is no age of "too old" and I have no idea why your hubby would be pressuring you to stop. All children are creatures of habit. If it wasn't reading that you HAD to do every night, it would be something else. It is wonderful that it is reading as opposed to a TV show or movie. I read with my 3 year old every night and will do so until he goes to college if he wants me to. You do the other things you have to do before and after. Really, how long does it take? It is bonding, it is wonderful. What are his reasons? Just because he can read on his own? If he enjoys books above his reading level, forcing him to read alone on his own level might take away his interest all together. Just keep it up! In a few years he night cringe at the thought of doing this with you, so enjoy now!

Hi Kelli
Yesterday, I had a sweet little boy who loved to be read to and loved my stories of when he was a little boy. We bonded every night. Today I have a mouthy fourteen year old who really would prefer we're not in the same room together. DO IT, read to him, love on him, cherish these moments because I promise you, it will all be over too soon. Everything else can wait, tell your husband to chill-ax (my son's favorite word) that this too shall pass.

Personally I am right there with you. I have TONS to do at the end of the day BUT, I dont think there is ever a "right time" to stop reading to your children at night. There will come a day where he wont want that anymore, but you will miss it. I know its hard - especially because you are probably the one in your family with the most responsibilities, but cherish this time with your child. This is how they know you love them. Its not because you keep the laundry done, the house clean, the bills paid. Its the time you spend with them doing something that is important to them. All you have is now. Good luck Kelly and hang in there!

Keep on reading to him, Kelli! I know how it feels to want to get things done around the house, but some day, when he's grown and gone, you will wish you could snuggle up with your little guy instead of finishing up those dinner dishes!

I'm a librarian who spends a lot of time encouraging parents to read to their children. First of all--good for you for reading to your son every night. You have taken the first step to ensure your son's reading success and the time you spend with him shows that you consider reading an important part of the day.
As your son gets older, the way you share books will change. At 7 you can take turns reading to each other. Let your son read things on his own level and then Mom can read something a little harder to help challenge him. To really get the most out of the experience, discuss the books you read. Ask questions that will encourage your son to think about the characters in the story--what kind of people are they? How do they relate to each other? How do they compare to characters in other stories? How would you react in that situation? This type of discussion will enrich your reading experience and encourage your son to be a thinker.
There is no set age for reading together to stop. It depends on the child and will usually fall by the wayside somewhere around middle school as homework and extracurricular activities take over.
In the meantime, ENJOY!!!

Hi Kelli,
Coming from a first grade teacher, and a mother who loves reading to her son, that is the best quality time you can have with him... especially if the business of your day has kept you apart. Reading is soooo critical at this age, especially for a 7 year old boy, because many of them lose interest in reading after this age.

I would definitely continue reading before bedtime, but encourage him to read to your more. Eventually, there will be a transition. Reading at night will become less of a comfort, and more of an independend role on his part.

Choose slightly longer books at his level, read part of it WITH him, discuss the story, characters, plot, predictions, etc, and maybe let him read a couple more pages alone for a few minutes before you put the lights out. Eventually, when YOU feel you are ready to stop telling him stories, maybe you can simply ask him what he is reading at night and ask him to tell you about it. I hope this helps.

Jenny G

Whatever you do, do not stop reading to your children. You will reap the rewards, not only because he will become a better person, but just think about the time that you are getting to spend with your son, alone. Just the two of you. You will never get this back. Kids grow up so quickly. I have a 3 year old and a 28 month old. People cannot believe how clearly they both speak and interact with me when we are out. And it is because we read a lot. Both of my children have their own little libraries in their rooms(which they make a mess of all the time)but it is worth it. My daughter at 28 months, has about the same vocabulary as her brother and speaks either as clear or even more so. I do spend a lot of time with them, but I would never change this for the world. Just my humble opinion. Good Luck!

My parents read to me until I was at least eleven and it's one of my best childhood memories EVER. Without them (and my grandparents) I never would have gotten to enjoy such a wide variety of books at such a young age. My dad, especially, read me things that were WAY beyond my reading level, like The Hobbit and Sherlock Holmes when I was three. It was fantastic to have so many adults in my life willing to share their favorites because when I first started reading on my own I absolutely hated it, the books I was able to read were boring. Without my parents and the other adults in my life providing interesting reading material on a daily basis I might never have made the connection between being able to read and being able to read THOSE books, the good ones. Reading is such a huge part of my life because of them. In fact I went to the library today and checked out ten books which are now tempting me from the dining room table.
Everyone is right, eventually your son will stop wanting to be read to. He'll get good at reading on his own and there will be books that he'll want to read that he'll be too embarassed to let you read to him. (Ones with kissing in them!) Maybe your husband is feeling left out or he just notices how busy you are but doesn't realize how much you enjoy it. Either way, enjoy it while it lasts.

I know its hard being a working mom, but the relationship with your son is a precious one that he will grow to treasure forever. Even if he reads to you, it has become to him a Mommy and me time. Ask your husband to help you thru your evening chores so that you can still have that time with your son. At his age it would be more devastating for him if you stop. Ask yourself, is worth the extra time to have your son grow knowing his mother took time even when she was tired, to spend time him? Please at no means do I mean to disrespect you, I actually envy you. I didnt take the time and precious memories are short in my children. I wish you well.

Blessings

Hi Kelli:

I read to my boys until they were about 10. Over time, I didn't read EVERY night, and they slowly got used to my reading to them when I could. They do need to learn that circumstances sometimes make us change our routines!! Both of my boys are voracious readers, but they still liked to be read to. As they got older, their interests changed, and the reading aloud was just not so important. Oftentimes, it was a tactic to stay up later than their bedtime!! Your husband needs to know that it won't last forever, and the times that they need you so much (and WANT you to be around them) dwindles faster than you could ever imagine. The groundwork you are laying by reading aloud to him will help to make him a life-long reader, and it is a great time to catch those moments when he is open to discuss what's going on in his life. Enjoy these times while you have them.

It seems to me that your son craves quality time with his mom. Since you enjoy this activity, why stop? Of course there will be times when you resent it, because you work, but that is no doubt the reason your son wants you all to himself for a period of time. I would try to work through any resentment you may feel at times and try your darndest to be there for him 100%. You are right~this won't last forever and you will spend the rest of your life wishing you had given him this bit of yourself.

I wish I had known this years ago. I'm 65 and have a lifetime of regrets.

G.

PS. Tell your husband this as well. He needs to lay off you.

G

7 yrs old is still young . I would tell him you will continue to read to him say maybe 3 times a week as a special treat but that mommies have other chores they need to do and when they have to work, night time is the only time those chores can be done. He is getting to be a big boy now and can read his own books but you will read harder ones with him a few days aweek but not everynight anymore. It will give him something to still look forward to but will help starting to wean him from depending on this habit. He has to know that daddy needs some of your time and all of you need clean clothes for the next days and lunches packed etc. Hope this works for you.