Question for Parents with Young Children

We get together with other friends with kids quite a bit. I'd say on average once every two weeks, if not more. That's the kind of get together where the grown ups can chat and the kids can run off and play, so I'd count that as a "couples get together." Sometimes it's at someone's house, but we've gone apple picking, to playspaces, out to eat, etc. My husband plays ice hockey, so he goes out once/week. I'd say I get out about once/month for non-school related stuff (in my mind, going to a PTO meeting does not count as going out and doing my own thing!) We go out together without the kids probably once every 2 months.

hmmmmm. My husband is a Mason and Shriner, so he occasionally goes to those meetings (out of town), like once a month. I (when not on my maternity leave of absence), had a similar meeting every Tuesday evening. Together...without kids....We have had 2 dates in the last 3 months, but before that it had been almost a year. Friends? What are those? IF we see friends, the kids are there. Mainly, we are at home, just the 4 of us, and maybe the odd playdate for the kids.

we spend 10 minutes alone and in the car 2 times a day (when he's dropping me off at the train and then picking me up). We tend to go to bed soon after we put the kids down. My husband goes out with the "guys" once a month and I tend to get away with my "mom friends" a couple times a year without the kids, but more on a weekly basis with the kids. I can tell you, almost every friend I had prior to the kids, I no longer see, but we chat a lot on the phone. My mom watches our kids once every 2 months (if that, depends on my kids schedules) over the weekend which would allow my husband and I to go on a date night, but more times than not, we catch up on the never ending list of things that need to be done but we just don't have time to do it.

It all works out.

We have people over to our house twice a month, its a great way to have socialization without always having to find a babysitter.
We RARELY go out with friends on our own. Our life is together now, the two are one. Perhaps once every 6 months I'll got to bingo or shopping with a girlfriend without him.
We go out just the two of us about once a week. Sometimes its a date, sometimes its just running errands and catching a bite to eat. But its the two of us so who cares?

haha....
How often do my husband and I go out with other people? Is this WITH our two boys or WITHOUT.....?
With - We have dinner with our son's godparents about once a month or every two months.
Without - Never (oops, I take that back. In February we went out dancing...so what does that make it, once a YEAR!)

How often do we go out on our own and do our own thing? Me - Once a year...but when my girlfriend moves back from Japan it will probably be once every 3 months. My husband - Maybe once every two months.

L.
Mom of two boys (5 and 8) and prego with #3 (due in January)

Other people? Hmmm... I don't think I've seen another human friend in months, lol. We go on dates maybe every couple months (more of a financial problem), but really we're homebodies. By the time he gets home at 8pm, it's time to check homework, give the 3 year old a bath, do bedtime stories, and they go to bed at 9pm, which is when Don and I sit down to veg. We usually spend the night watching our dvr shows and we get to bed at about 1am, then back up at 8am.

We get together with other families to do family activities sometimes like tonight we are going with another family to a Halloween carnival. As far as going out with other adults for adult only events sometimes we go out to dinner with another couples maybe once every two months or so. We go out by ourselves for a date night maybe twice a month-we go see a movie or go out to lunch. Also I go to my book club once a month and bunco once a month. :-)

We are the same. When we do have spare time we like to spend it as a family, so we do. You have to put your most important people first, that is the way I see it. We do try to do camp outs and the like with other families, that way we can socialize and have family time at the same time :)

we don't get out much with other people, but we do get out once/month on a date together. i found a friend & we do a babysitting swap so that each couple gets a once-a-month date. kids get put down to bed, the 'babysitter' mom shows up & the couple goes out. the couple gets a night out without having to shell out $80 for a babysitter & the 'babysitter' mom gets a night to herself (i do homework).
to go out and do my own thing, i meet a friend every 8 weeks & we have our hair done together, then go out & shop, eat, etc.
it's hard, but you have to try to make some time! It's worth it!

M.
(mom of 3 kiddos - 2, 5 & 6)

I have a 3 year old and 23 mo old. We get out alone as a couple about 1 time a month and try to get together with another couple about 3-4 times a year. We actually prefer it just be the 2 of us most of the time because if we are too tired, we can call it quits and head home...when out with others, especially our friends without kids, we feel pressured to stay out way too late. BUT, like you we don't want to turn into social recluses so we try to keep the stream going a few times a year if possible and also do things with our individual friends on occasion while the other parent stays home. I am due with Baby #3 in May so we will be back to recluses again for a while very soon :)

Friends? What are those? lol - I have tons of friends, but we talk mainly durin the day at work. We all have kids activities after school/work and go from there. We have friends at our kids activities that we talk to for those times, but as far as going out without kids....I dont think we have done that since June. And that was the first time in YEARS. Just becaues life is so busy! But if someone has a great suggestion I'd love to hear it also :o).

We try to have date night when my child is in preschool. When we are off during the week we go to the dinner/movies or have a nice lunch at a new restaurant. We don't have babysisters; therefore, we have to do things when our child is in school. As far as friends and hanging out. We both have friends individually and we try to hang out with them when we are off. We don't have couple friends. It's ok we still have a good time after 8 1/2 years of marriage. We stopped hanging out with a lot of couples because there would be one that doesn't fit, they wouldn't like doing or trying new things. We may get lucky and a husband may like something, but the wife don't. So we just don't worry about it and we invite people over for barbecues, birthdays, etc.

I'm so thankful our kids are older. Years ago we tried to have a date night, but it was expensive for dinner, drinks, and a sitter. Like the other moms said, we don't have much time for family time or couple time....or friend time. The weekends are full of chores, football ( one son plays) and rest. My husband and I both work outside the home.
Our oldest is now 15, so we are now able to go out for dinner without getting a sitter (although we do pay her about $10 for watching her brothers). But those "dates" are usually full of talks about kids schedules, finances, household stuff-- so they aren't as fun as it used to be before kids. Still I love having date night. Once the whole family went out for dinner and my husband and I sat at the end of the table and pretended the kids weren't there. Lol!

Good luck!

It's really tough! I agree time w/ friends w/ kids is a good way to enjoy social time and family time together. You also do need time for you individually and w/ your husband as a couple. I believe it's important so you can be the best parents, spouses and people you can be. It's so hard. Did I say that already?!? I found that we just have to schedule it. I have "me" time when I go to Yoga or walk (2-3 times a week). Just enough time to decompress. I have time with my girlfriends (dinner) about once every 3 mos. and he has similar time w/ his friends. We get out about 2x per month w/o the kids. Usually just us as we don't have time to talk. But about 1/2 the time we do go w/ some friends. Some days I think I've got it worked out - then other times, I can't remember how long its' been. I would suggest starting w/ something reasonable and schedule it. If you have to skp chores skip em - the dirty house will be dirty tomorrow! Good luck!

As a working mom, my weekend comes and the last thing I wanna do is ditch my kids. So I rarely do something on the weekend that doesn't involve them. The whole family will hang out together. So we don't socialize much with adults either I guess! ha!
But we do have friends. I figure I spent my teens and 20's building solid lifelong friendships that will withstand anything, so now that many of us are focused on our kids and no longer get together very often... I don't fret it, because I know when we do get together finally it will be just like no time has passed. I also have close friends on the east coast and bay area that I only chat with on the phone now and then, or keep up with on Facebook. It's all good because when I do get a chance to see them every one or two years, it's just like old times and not awkward at all.

As far as alone time with the hubby... yeah it's hard to find. This weekend we decided to have the neighbor gal come over and watch our girls for 2 hours while we went down to a sports bar to watch football, have a beer and some lunch. A measly 2 hours and a precious $60something later (food plus babysitter) we're like, hmmm, now I see why we don't do that more often! It was nice to be in a restaurant and not worry about any kids though... so to me it was worht it for just that one little slice of heaven. That'll last me a few months :)

Usually, we're with local parents (if that's "out") and the kids are all playing together. Does that count? LOL

I can't remember the last time I went out with my husband without kids. The last time I went out with friends without kids was for my birthday in June. OMG - I just realized it's October. Sad. My husband and I don't see each other 5 days a week. We work completely opposite each other so our kids are always with one of us. We don't have much help. :( We spend our days off running a million errands and having family time with the kiddos. I miss alone time with my hubby and I miss my friends (though we talk on the phone often)

I just keep telling myself that the kids are growing up fast and this is best for them. My husband and I will have more time in a few years - I hope......

Hang in there!

Wow -I consider myself really lucky! My husband and I go out together usually at least once a week. It may be to a movie while my MIL watches the boys for a few hours, but we also love live music and go see it as frequently as possible -often meeting up with other friends of ours. Many of our friends, as well as us, often entertain, and depending on who it is we'll take the kids with us or have people over with kids too. I go out with my girlfriends at least a few times a month, and my husband meets his guy friends out to play darts a few times a month. This is usually during the week or a Friday night or happy hour. If you're having trouble getting out and about together, go on sittercity.com or care.com if you need to find a good sitter. It's worth a one month membership with one of them to find someone with references, a background check and lots of experience! Also, make time to go out with your friends -and for him to as well (and this requires no sitter since one of you is home). It's important to keep up our friendships and to get out of "mommy mode"! Another thing my spouse and I have done a lot since becoming parents -especially when finances have been tight -is to get some wine or beer (or whatever you like), and sit on the back deck or porch after the kids are in bed. Sometimes we just have some wine and talk and others we play Scrabble or Yahtzee. It's a lot of fun!

We set up date nights once a month where my 3 year old will spend the night at my nephews house, and vice-versa. All my friends have kids so maybe once every other month we will get together with them. I think just once this year we did out separate date night-he went with his friends, I went with mine. I think everyone couple needs some alone time being away from your child as well as husband/wife sometimes.

My husband and I never go out with other people.lol My husband works one full time job in the morning and a part time job in the evening. I also work full-time days. I usually get some free time after 7:30 when the kids are in bed and I spend it working out. My husband gets home from his second job about 10:00 p.m. and we have some time together then If I'm still awake.
we usually go out to a resturant on the weekends about twice per month and we always have to take the kids. We really need a sitter but it's hard finding someone to trust in the home with the kids. My boys are the laid back type so I feel uncomfortable leaving them with my mother.

I agree with Shannon R. I'm a working mom and, much as I'd LOVE to go out with my husband and/or my friends, I wouldn't give up the little time I get to spend with my son on the weekends for it. For the first year of my son's life, I barely even saw my husband - let alone spend time with him - lol. Now we're able to get my son to bed by 8pm (usually) which means that, if I can stay awake, I can spend a few hours with my husband every night before I need to go to bed (I get up at 4am for work). During that evening time, we usually don't do much more than watch tv, but it's nice to just be together, sans baby. And friends? Pfffffff! I have one girlfriend who has a daughter near my son's age. They do come over about once a week (or once every two weeks, maybe). It's nice because the three adults can chat while the kids play together. However, my friends who don't have kids? I never ever see them. It's hard. But, frankly, I'd rather spend time with my son than those old friends any day. I do miss seeing people and having that freedom to, you know, have a life - but I'd miss my son more if I wasn't with him during my free time.
Hang in there. They're only little for a short time.