Preteen with Major Depression

I had major depression which lasted a few months. I also had depression at various other times. I was on Paxil and then Effexor for several years.
I also had therapy.

If you have any doubts, get a second opinion at another facility. Also, have you joined a support group of other parents? I know it sounds weird, but I felt better knowing I wasn't the only one who had been so abused. You don't have to open up until and unless you want to. You need support in real life too.

I really have no experience, but I want to say that you are your child's only advocate here. If you feel there needs to be a change....then ask them to switch meds. Or Taper her off them (with the drs plan) and see what happens. Switch psychologists.

I am not against meds....as my son is on celexa for anxiety. But first we tried Prozac and that made him want to crawl out of his skin. Not all meds are equal....you should be able to find one that works better. I do also think some docs just prescribe what works best for the average person and may not work for your child.

Good luck. It does sound like things could be better....you're just going to have to fight to make the drs see that.

I would document what has been going on since she has started these medications. I would also makes sure that the psychiatrist and psychologist are aware of how you feel. Hormones have absolutely an affect on a person's mental state and awareness. If she started her period for the first time, I can imagine that she is going through a lot. I wouldn't disregard the thought about her hormones being in the mix too. With all of this going on, I can imagine it is very hard for you to deal with and process.

I can tell you that with any medication, you may not see a difference until about the third week or so. If you are feeling uncomfortable at any time, and believe that she the medication is making her worse, I would consult with her psychiatrist.

If she is pre -teen I also would encourage her to write her feelings down in a journal. It helps to have somewhere to vent to, and it's important for her to feel comfortable enough to express them. I want to make sure you are aware that even though she might be stating that she wants to hurt herself, and that she feels suicidal, etc. it does not mean that she will do it. Have you noticed any bruises, cuts, or other punctures on her body? It sometimes is the only way to tell someone how you feel. However, obviously it is a concern that she is stating this , and not to be taken lightly. I just want you to know that sometimes it is better that she is stating this, and not keeping that feeling inside. You are better equipt to find her help and prevent a very bad outcome.

Feeling like you want to hurt yourself is an indication that she is feeling an extreme amount of pain,hurt, and aggression. I am sure a lot of it is from her unability to voice her feelings, as well as how she feels about the divorce. She is looking for a release from her pain.

My advice is to help her release this pain in a positive way. Drawing, painting, music, photography,caring for an animal, excersize, etc. Does she have a particular hobby?

It will get better if she is on the right medication, therapy, and a good relationship with family and friends. She also will need to feel safe,secure, and comfortable with herself and her feelings.

I have worked in the mental health field , and also have two brothers who went through a depression. One of whom is Bipolar. I can tell you that he has his good days and bad days. A supportive parent, friend, and therapy team is vital on how well the symptoms are managed. The fact that she is so young, is good, and the fact that you were proactive in getting her into treatment is also very good.

You need some help Mom. This must be so scary and confusing to you.

Have you asked your child's doc for names of parent support groups? Talking with other parents in a similar situation can be so comforting.

Here's one on-line group I found.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Depression---Childhood/sup...

Best to you.

:)

Is your daughter also receiving therapy? If not I would add that to the medication. If you aren't also getting help with learning about her condition then you should ask for that help for yourself. When my daughter was in therapy, the therapist also saw me by myself and I had another therapist just for me.

Please stop yourself from feeling guilty because you can't make her happy. You cannot make her happy. This is a subject for you to work thru with your therapist. Sounds like you need more support as well as help with the way you're feeling about this. If you don't have an individual therapist ask for one.

All girls are affect by the fluctuations in their hormones. Some more so than others but they do not have major depression. Major depression is a condition that can be influenced by hormones but the condition is not caused by hormones.

One common aspect of depression is to become numb. When we're numb we aren't aware of why we feel a certain way. Insisting that she understand her feelings is counter productive. Leave the analysis to the psychologist. What you can do is empathize in an accepting and loving way. Listen if she wants to talk. Be there without judgment.

I agree with Stephanie. Obviously things haven't gotten any better, if anything, they are worse. I would get a second opinion or at least ask to try different meds or lower dose. I am so sorry you are dealing with this and I hope things get better for you and your daughter.

There are so many factors at work here.
Her age, her hormones, the medications, her depression.

I think you should be getting therapy for yourself too, Mom.
You need help and support in understanding all these dynamics and how best to handle them. It will help you with feelings that you are doing something wrong.

I also think you should keep a journal. Track your daughter's sleep patterns, her diet, when you notice mood changes. Her period. See if you notice any consistent patterns.

I would be concerned about the medications as well, but it appears that with her level of depression, it might be worse left untreated.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Get yourself into therapy, hopefully with someone who specializes in these kinds of things. Get a referral from the pediatrician or one of the psychologists. Surely, they will agree that you need some help as well.

Best wishes.

Oh my goodness...I feel so bad for what you are going through. It has to be terrifying. I just have to wonder about her medical team here. It seems like they are not taking her thoughts on hurting herself seriously enough as they relate to anti-depressants. OR the hormonal connection. This is something I think I would explore if I were you. I have found that doctors are just simply not oing to take the interest in our cases that we would expect them too. I have found myself doing extensive research on behalf of my children and when I turn up studies and connections to certain things that my son is going through the doctors turn a blind eye to it.

if the child is becoming suicidal from medication, that by the way, is NOT recommended for children, then you need to take the child to a different doctor,does depression run in your family ? the fact that she is telling you she wants to hurt herself, tells me that she is alot smarter her doctors seem to think she is. find an activity that she can use to channel her depression into, painting, art, dance class, hell, glass blowing or cycling, anything is better then giving up
K. h.

She needs a success. Something she can do that she can shine at. It can be painting, singing, musical instrument, martial arts, writing, etc. You've got to find it and let her take classes in it. It will give her something to look foward to.