Pre-K School Wants to Call My Daughter Another Name!!

I would go father up the chain. My daughter is actually called by both of her first and middle name, she wants to have it legally changed to her first name. In pre school I can see that they may have that rule because children will want to change the name that they are called some times my daughter had a friend like that but it was the child asking for the change.But if the parent is asking for the child to be called what ever then that is what should be done. Besides what about all of the students from other country's, ( my kids are older high school and have many friends from other country's) most of those friends do not go by the name on the birth certificate they use an american name and schools have no problem with that. Love to see some of the teachers trying to say some of the legal names of some of the children.

Hi M.! Seems like you have already gotten a lot of responses but I feel I need to add mine.

I go by my middle name... it's M., too. I don't like my first name and have never gone by it. Typically, I would go to school and my teachers would call me by my first name and I would tell them that I go by my middle name and they would call me that.

To those who have responded saying they don't understand why you would name a child one thing and call them something else, it's a preference. When I made the decision MYSELF to use my middle name it was what I wanted to be called... no one elses.

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

You keep going up and up the administration line until you can get it changed. Or have them show you in the handbook where is it written that they have to do that.

I would consider another school. If they hold that strongly to this one silly thing, what other things will they do?

That's ridiculous.

I agree with the preschool. When I was younger my family called me Annie but my name is R.. The schools would most of the time compromise on what to call me but I had to be registred as R. which caused librarians, principals, lunch ladies, subsitutes, everyone except my own teacher called me R.. It was very frustrating and upsetting for me. I highly suggest you either change what you call her or change her name legally. While you are frustrated now by this one fight this is something she will have to deal with for the rest of her school years. There is no reason to cause your daughter the stress because while you may get the teacher to give in not everyone is going to know right away. I don't see the point in calling children by their middle name or a nickname, they are not able to learn their own name that way, I didn't even know how to spell R. when I started school.

ugh is right! do they have too many kids in her class or something that they are *encouraging* you to go elsewhere?!
really, it seems like a no-brainer to me, regardless: if they can't even individualize their method of addressing your daughter, do you really believe they'll individualize their method of teacher her? either find another school, teach her at home (who cares what your friends do?!?!), or hope for the best that the way they teach is the way she learns...just imho.

good luck!

I have nothing new to add, but wanted to give my support to you. To the people asking WHY you would name your child something other than their first name - get a life. :)

Good luck, please let us know how this works out, I am curious.

Best to you and your family, M..

That is unbelievable. I called Garland ISD for you and they said you should call the principal. If he doesn't solve it then go to the Elementary division of the GISD Administration and they can escalate it from there. I told the lady that was the nuttiest thing I had ever heard, but she said it has to start with the principal. She would not tell me that it was a "rule" (there are too many for her to know them all. I sincerely doubt it, probably a teacher using her "power." Good luck!

Also, I'm sorry for the grief you received from people below about using your daughter's middle name. Sometimes you really want a name, but it just doesn't sound good as the first name, so you put it as a middle. You would think in America with all the problems we have that people would let you name your child without grief! :)

M Ichelle,

You're not going to like what I have to say, but you asked for our opinions/advice, so here is mine.

I will never understand when parents give their children a first name, but never call them by the first name! Since you call your daughter by her middle name, why wasn't that her first name, and her first name her middle name? Why don't you legally change her name? You can legally switch her first and middle names. I understand where the preschool is coming from. You have made this very confusing and difficult for the preschool.

wow!
My son has always gone by his middle name and he is starting kindergarten this year. All his stuff in his classroom was marked with his first name even though when I enrolled him I told them he went by his middle name. The teacher was really nice about it though and is willing to change to his "real" name. I don't know what I would have done if she'd refused. You should find out if they also insist on calling those with longer names by thier full name(i.e. Christopher instead of Chris). Pesonally, if they ere not willing to call my child by his name- the only name he knows, I would withdraw him from the school and find another school for him to attend. It really is none of the school's business what name you choose to call your child and they should respect you enough to abide by that.
~C.
ps-sorry, I guess the subject touched a nerve with me! :)

I would absolutely go to the top administrator, even if it means the superintendent They have no right to change her entire identity because they would prefer to go by paperwork. her middle name is still part of her legal identity so I don't even see where they have the legal grounds not to use that name. My hubby and son both go by their middle names too, and it hasn't been an issue (other than initial confusion, but that's it).

Her name is integral to who she understands herself to be. I am a sociologist (social psychologist) with a family background and if you find you need some sort of information to back up the psychological part of the whole name game, let me know.

The other posters are correct. My 15 yr old has always gone by her middle name and it was never an issue, even in preschool. Her registration has always listed her by her first name, but we always have had the option to put a "call by" name on the forms. She also has personally told teachers that she goes by her middle name, again with no problem. Whoever the GISD rep that told you this is out of line and I would take your issue to the next level. Just my opinion.

As a Director of a Preschool, I can't imagine why the school would not call your daughter by her middle name. My full name is Kathryn and I never went by that in school. I was always called K.. We have had many children over the years who went by a middle name or nickname. I think that is certainly your call as her parent. If that is the name she is going to write and be called by in Elementary school, why would they refuse to do this. It seems very silly to me! I would wonder what else they are not going to be cooperative about.

I will tell you a very true story. My older brother always went by his middle name "Eddie" until he started school. The teachers insisted on calling him by bhis first name "James." My parents did noy like that, but they all went along with it. Well, to this day, both my parents and my brother REGRET that decision from the past, as they all like Eddie better and that is what his family and friends in the military call him (yes, he is 35 years old now). Please put a lot of thought into this decision before giving in to his school...as it may affect you all down the road. Don't have any regrets okay. Good luck!!

If this is really where the school stands on this issue, I would absolutely NOT put my child there. If they disregard a parent's wishes this quickly and without discussion, what else is going to come up? I can not stand the attitude of some schools that once you drop them off, they belong to the school. Sorry. That just doesn't fly with me. I am their parent and I believe that gives me final say.

I can understand having policies, but over what to call a child? That, in my opinion, is ridiculous.

I can also understand you not wanting to disappoint your daughter but maybe you can find some other options. Have you thought about finding a homeschool group near you? That would be a great way to meet other parents with children your daughter's age. There are always play dates, park days, learning groups, etc.

Good luck!
S.

I have heard some pretty dumb things in my life but this may top the list....I would talk to the principal and go up from there if necessary...I don't care if her name is Jane Ann Zoos and she goes by Jaz...that is what she should be called - all they have to do is make a note....sure she needs to learn to respond to her first name in time as well but sheesh....how UNwelcoming can you get?

I will be thinking of you...
B.

I'm assuming you haven't talked to the teacher directly. On all official paperwork and anything dealing with the administration, your daughter will be referred to by her legal first name. However, I've never known a teacher to refuse to use a child's preferred name. I would recommend contacting the teacher before the first day to let her know your daughter goes by her middle name.

I agree with 90% of the other posts. There is no reason why they can't call her by her middle name (although her full name probably needs to appear on those items that go in permanent records). I was an elementary teacher for 8 years and I have called kids by their middle names, initials, and even names that I have no idea where they came from (it was neither their 1st or middle name but something they had always gone by.) In fact, by my 3rd year of teaching I had given up on putting names on things before Meet the Teacher because I would always have to re-do at least 1/3 of the class because they went by something other than their full legal name.
If the teacher is making an issue out of something like this, I would request a teacher change immediately (if there is another Pre-K available). This does not seem like the type of person who should be working with young children. If not, I would talk to the principal. If that doesn't work, go to the central admin office. I doubt it would get this far, but you can always threaten to go to the media if it is not resolved. My guess is that this is purely a teacher issue- not something the school district would be willing to go to battle over.

Wow, that does sound a little weird. Like others said, I could understand if they used her first name for "legal" things but for day to day interaction, I can't understand why they can't say the name she is accustomed to.

I'd like to comment to the two posters that wondered why someone would choose to call their child by their middle name...When my two sons were born four years ago, we knew we wanted them to be called Bryce and Gage on a daily basis but we could not figure out how to make it work as a first name with a middle name that we liked. So, those became their middle names...Tanner Bryce and Trevor Gage. Both of my boys know full well that they have a first name, it wasn't difficult at all to teach it to them. We are going to teach them to write their middle names first since that is what they will be using the most often then we'll go back and write the first names. The only time I have to use their first names is when we go to the doctor since they have to file the insurance under the first names but the doctors and nurses all call them Bryce and Gage. Everyone at my daughter's elementary school knows them so I expect no issues at all when they move up there (we are in Denton ISD). Anyway, no offense but I just thought you sounded a bit harsh on those of us who have chosen to do it differently than you did...it's just a name, not a big deal...

I've never heard such a thing in my life!

My husband is Larry Wayne. His family and everyone in his hometown know him as Wayne. It wasn't until college or the Army that he started answering to Larry, which is the name I know him by and have called him for 33 years.

In his family, all of the boys (except for a twin of the youngest who passed away unexpectedly the day after his first birthday) went by their middle names and neither of the girls has a middle name.

I agree with the other posters--go to this person's superior and insist that your daughter be called by the correct name. If the director of the school declines, go to the district administration. You will hopefully get someone sensible at some level!

It also touches a nerve with me. Be warned:

WHY do people name a child one thing and call them another?
It is confusing to a child, aggrevating as a teenager, and down right infuriating as an adult.

Believe me, I have hated this my ENTIRE life. I finally had enough money to change my legal name to what I have always been called and did so this past May. It has taken me months of changing accounts however, (still not done) and MANY accusatory looks from clerks who can't understand why anyone but a criminal wants to change their first name.

This was also done to my Uncle who, finally in college, just started using his birth first name rather than fight with his professors about it.

If you want to call your child something, please just name them that. Go to the court and pay the 200 bucks NOW. So that she doesn't have to go to all the trouble as an adult when her credit will already be established.

Like I said, a big nerve, I WILL say, however, that people should call other people, whatever they prefer. Good Luck :-D

That is tantamount to them changing her name. I can't see how they can enforce that, but I also dealt with it, as my daughter's name was Promise Goldyn, and always went by Goldyn. She would just tell everyone, "Call me Goldyn!". Eventually that took hold, even with teachers, but also, by college, she was very comfortable with whichever someone used. She had to learn to recognize and answer to either. It didn't turn out to be a big deal.

Maybe look at a church preschool pre-K. It is a loving environment, and I have NEVER had a problem. ----- Even upper level grades call the kids by their adjusted names, whether it is a middle name or nick name. I don't understand why this school is being so difficult. Don't they have more important issues?

I would call and talk with the principal and explain the situation. I worked at GCISD (at a middle school) but the students were asked what name they wanted to go by - if that doesn't work - call the admin. bldg. My son went thru GCISD and never went by his first name - he always went by his middle name.

Good luck - don't take her out of school - hold your ground.
J. G

We are in Plano ISD, I'm a mom and sub teacher.

We have paperwork to list the full name and then there is another blank by the name that asks what name is the child to be called.

I'd fight this one because you are the parent and the one who chose her name. You might tell them that you are going to pull her out because this "rule" of theirs will only confuse her and not be productive to her learning.

I always listed my daughter's first name and middle initial.

I am called by my middle name and I despise my first name. It was SO embarrissing to me when my teachers (in the old days) always used the first name until they learned that I just would not respond to the name at all.

Good luck. I do not feel like you are out of line.

I'm thinking you should try explaining to your daughter what her full name is and tell her to ask the teacher to call her by her middle name. And talk to the teacher. And talk to the prinicpal. That's bizzarre that they'd be so rigid about something like this.

A funny aside, I go by my middle name and always have...but I went through an identity thing when I hit middle school and just started using my first name for a year or two. Went back to the middle name later on...and now in my professional life, I go by my first name and with my friends and family I go by my middle name...it gets a little wierd in social situations where I'm at work and have my family or friends along for some reason BUT whenever anyone calls our home asking for me by my first name, I know it's either a work call OR someone trying to sell me something.

Good luck, please tell us what happens!

What a hoot! I agree with the others - stick to your guns and help the school get real!

My parents in law named my husband John Brian, intending to call him JB. Well, they've called him Brian all his life and he's 52 now. All the teachers and professors in college called him Brian. I just call him "Late For Supper." All his legal papers say John Brian, but those who truly know him call use his middle name - in fact, we can sort out the phone solicitors by which name they use!

By the way, I think some people over-reacted to the posters that commented that it's easier in life if you are called by what you are legally named. (Or do I mean legally named what you are called?) The way I understood their comments was that they personally had had a bad experience and recommended that parents don't make life more difficult than it has to be. Just a thought.

I know at our school a child must go by their legal name with the lunch card, library, computer login, report card, etc. My son goes by a shortened name like Jake for Jacob (that is not his name). So in his class he goes by his nickname "Jake". It is written on his desk, cubby, etc and what the teacher calls him. Perhaps that is what the school meant. I know in kindergarten had to learn how to spell his legal name for his computer login which didn't know how to spell. I would talk to her teacher.

M.:

My mouth is agape. It seems disrespectful to both you and your child to refuse to use the middle name. Using the middle name is a common practice. This is not a good way to start out the school experience. What a confusing message it sends to your daughter! I would double-check with the school and see if they can accommodate your child.

As a teacher, the only time I can imagine this is if the name were questionable. For instance, I worked with a woman nicknamed Booty from birth. The name came from her cute little baby booties. It might be misunderstood. Another child in the school district is named Shithead. Really! It is pronounced "Shi' Thayed" I might have a problem with that, but the teachers know that it is the name the child has grown up with and they respect that.

I do support you, at least as long as your daughter is not named Shithead. ; - )

when i enrolled Robert, they asked if he went by that or a nickname. officially, he's robert, but he goes by robbie at school. at home he answers to either. my hubby goes by jim, but he was born james. i don't see what the issue is.

My children attend Garland public schools. I've NEVER heard of any of them not wanting to use the name the child identifies with.

I fell in love with nicknames before having my kiddos and chose to just use those names as their whole first name to avoid any issues later on. Sometimes people will ask my girls what their name is short for but my girls respond very quizzically to that. LOL

(One is Emma and the other Ella.) I think though that a lot of times we name our children and as their personality emerges they do earn a nickname or a pet name and that ends up being what they're known by. I understand it!

My dad and brother shared a first name but my brother's was shortened to a nickname to keep from confusing the two. Before that every male generation got the dad's name as a middle name. I thought that was a neat way to do it (especially since most of the names were horrid to me-ha! and I'd not want to be called by them on a regular basis but still be in touch with the paternal figure before me.)

Naturally no such traditions go with being female in our family since our hips and buxom chests have ENOUGH in common. *SNICKERS*

Sounds like it's time to be heard to me! Go get 'em! LOL

Probably wouldn't hurt to aquaint your sweet daughter with her full name but I wouldn't expect her to even be able to pronounce it correctly if it's long or difficult until she's about 3.5 anyway.

Keep us posted! Please. :)

I agree w/the other mamma that said it sounds like a power trip. It looks like you have a long year ahead of you. We do not live in Garland, but my dd went to FISD speech last year and is inrolled for preK this year and I'm pretty sure they have a nickname space on thier forms. If you haven't talked to the priciple yet you schould. And if they shoose to stand by the teacher and don't show you a policy book/manule where it is written as a rule, go to administration and do the same. If it is in their policy start a petition to change the policy. You can already see a lot of mammas that believe in you....My husband and FIL have the same first name and most of the family calls hubbie by his middle name (I always have). It could be a family tradition or she just took to it. And if you it will help ur battle take up the 'socialist' on her offer for research support.

I definitely think you should talk to someone higher up to get this resolved. Who knew this could be such an issue. One of my twins goes by his middle name, so I can totally see the frustration here. Haven't had any experience yet since they are only 18 mos., but just wanted to send my support. And to say ignore those harsh comments about why using a middle name instead of their first. They don't know the full situation of why you named your child and choose to use her middle name. It's what she knows, what you want to call her, and EVERYONE should respect that! Best of luck to you.

My kids attend GCISD schools and on all the forms it says "name" and also "nickname". Why would that be on there if it wasn't for kids who go by another name? I think I'd have to talk to the teacher again and/or go above her head b/c that seems absurd.

I would insist that they call her by the name she goes by. Its no different than a nickname. Tell them you are paying to bring your child there and you as the parents reserves the right tho say they can call your child and what they cant.

If this school is this petty then chances are you need to decide if you really want you child going to this school.

that is absolutely re-dic-u-lous! I mean, I can understand completely if correspondence from the office or ISD came with her first name on record but why can't the teachers call her by her middle/nick name? For crying out loud, does that mean if I registered my son MAXWELL they'd refuse to call him MAX!??? I'm sure NOT! therefore, i think it's sort of a discrimination (for lack of a better word that isn't so inflammatory) to not call her by the name she goes by. I'd have to go to a higher up to find out if this is true. But, again, as I said--I wouldn't make a fuss if they sent correspondence from the office or school district with "to the parents of....her first name". those thigns are so automated, you know? but why in heavens name can't they CALL her the middle name? dumb.

oh, and ps, i get it when someone says "why didn't you just give her the first name you wanted her called" --that's a first thought of course, but frankly I understand how that can not be the case sometimes...i over course don't know why YOU didn't do that but I know that I felt pressured to give a couple of my kids family names...well, i was lucky in that I didn't feel I needed it to be the first name but I sure felt pressure to make the middle name that family name. Anyway, i'm sure there are plenty and good reasons that you put them in that order---besides it being YOUR daughter so your choice. the school can legally use the name as given on teh birth cert but the issue is why the school just refuses to CALL her the name she is known by.

I had the same thing going on with my son whose first name is Robert but goes by Robin. The teacher kept calling him by his first name and he wouldn't respond. Finally, my son came home upset and told me the teacher calls him by the wrong name. I wrote the teacher an email, asking her very nicely to please call him Robin because it was making him uncomfortable. She finally agreed and the rest of the year went by with no other name incidents. Start with the teacher and explain the situation, then go to the principal all the way up to the district if you have to. Its ridiculous that they won't call a child what they're used to being called. Hope it works out for you and especially your child.

Umm..is that a joke?? There is NO WAY I would send her there. They dont get to decide what you call your daughter. I dont care if you told them to call her tuti fruity all day long..OK, maybe that is a bit extreme, but seriously, that is something I think I would fight for. My sons name is Ryan Jr. but he goes by RJ for short. He laughs if we tell him his name is Ryan..that is his dad's name..so I would be angry if a school told me they would not call him RJ. So many kids dont go by their first names..I cant believe this has not been fought already. I would not send her there for sure, like the previous poster said..if they wont treat her with respect on this issue, how can they individualize her learning atmosphere. They should be ashamed! (And clearly, I should go to bed..this is not even my problem and I am getting worked up:) Good luck ~A.~

As I read your post, I hoped very much that this is a communication snafu. I would contact the school today, and ask for specifics--someone below mentioned their sons using shortened versions of their given first name, and that paperwork and 'official' docs would have the full legal name--that's what i would think that the school in your case would be concerned about.

I would expect some flexibility on the school's part in this situation. If they really ARE hung up on calling a child by their full, given, legal name, what other oddities are they hung up on and is such rigidity what you want for your little one?

I hope that this is just a misunderstanding--keep us posted!

I taught elementary for 7 years and have never heard of a rule like this. I've called children by first, middle, nicknames, etc. The only rule I had was that they couldn't decide to change what they wanted to be called during the year because I would have to relabel everything. I would ask to speak to someone who could give a you a reason why this rule was put in place and speak with them about your concerns. Good luck!

This does not sound right at all. I have two children in GISD and this has never been an issue. Now perhaps they might use her first name on her records, but I can't understand them saying they would only call her by her first name. My sons both go by a shortened version of their first name and so all of the letters, report cards, etc are addressed by their full first name. But in the classroom, they are called by the shortened nickname. I did have an issue last year when my youngest son decided to change the spelling of his nickname. It was only one teacher that had a problem with it. Once I talked with her and said that we were OK with him spelling his name differently, then she let it go. When you say that the GISD told you this, who do you mean specifically? The principal, her teacher or some other administrator? I would contact call the school district and ask to speak to someone about it. The idea that you might find another school is a bit of a problem, if this is truly a GISD policy, then she would never be able to attend public school in Garland. I would definitely take it further, before giving up on an entire school system, which by the way, I have found to be a GREAT experience for my kids. Good Luck!

Was it just the teacher that said they will only use her first name or did you talk to the principal? If even the principal said it I would go to the administration office and talk with people there. When I was growing up, I was rarely called by my first name. They used my (nickname) which I still go by. I wish you luck.

Well I can say that i would be irratated to. Since when are schools not understand of this issue?? Im not sure what can be done about it though...I do hope that you can get them to call her HER real name. Even if its not the first in line. :)

That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Perhaps legally they need to put her legal first name on all her paperwork, but I would hope her individual teacher will call her by whichever name you choose. Have you asked her specific teacher? Hopefully she isn't such a stickler. Perhaps you could tell them if they insist on using her "legal" name, they need to call her by both her first and middle name. If the teacher doesn't show more cooperation or compassion, I would try another preschool. My family has always gone to church-run preschools where they have always been super nice. Don't let a school district dictate your child's name!

As a mom, and a teacher, I think that is completely ridiculous and I have NEVER heard of anything like that.

Wow that seems really odd!!! I distinctly remember when I was in school that every year (and I went to several different schools due to moving around fairly frequently as a kid), on the first day of school, when the teacher would do the initial roll-call, they would call out our name as listed on her roll sheet, but then they would ask what name each student actually goes by and would make a note of it next to the official name. And that was consistent with every school I attended. I don't understand why they can't accommodate something so simple; it's not like it's uncommon for people to go by their middle name!!!!

Anyway I don't have any advice, but I am certainly outraged for you; that makes no sense!!

That's a little crazy. But, if they won't bend at all, maybe they could call her by both names. That way she could have her friends and still have her name she's use to. But, bottom line, why won't they use the name she's use to? Are they going to make her write with the hand they want her to and not what she's use to and has done all her life? Sorry, a little sarcasm. Good luck with this.

I've always gone by my middle name and it's ridiculous that they told you that!! I am a teacher and have called kids by their middle name/shortened name/nickname, etc. Don't un-enroll her, go talk w/ the principal and tell her/him that you understand her records have to be in her first name but you'd like teachers and students to call her by her middle name. Shame on that teacher for telling you that.

They are being ridiculous! My son and my husband both go by their middle name and my son has never had a problem with having his teachers call him by his middle name. I would go to the top administrator before I would allow that to happen. On legal documents, I can see where they need that information but, they should have no problem calling her by the name SHE wants to be called. Ask to have the school counselor present and see what they say. Good luck!

At our school, there is a little girl named "Olivia" that goes by Livi. Her name in the room (on the cubby) is Olivia, but everyone still calls her and knows her as Livi. I know this is different because you are talking middle name here, which is completely different from the first. But, it may be as one person has stated, just the paperwork has to reflect the first name. I don't know. I know I would throw a major fit though because I go by my middle name myself - which IS my legal name. If they don't change their policy (although I would seriously throw a fit), then you must insist that her FULL name be used First and middle and then insist that her friends continue to call her by her middle name.

Good luck. This is a battle well worth fighting (and trust me, I continue to fight it to this day. when I was signing legal documents at the bank, they saw me sign them with my middle name and said that I must sign with my legal signature. I said, "My legal signature is what I sign. If you want me to sign it with some other name, then it is not legal because I have never signed anything else with that name.).My only concession is to also put my first initial.

-L.

That's absurd... talk to an administrator.

I've worked in 7 schools and have never run across a policy like this one. I've always had kids who went by their middle name, a nick name, Junior, whatever. I have to believe that there's a misunderstanding, though I can't really see how. I'm a teacher, so I hate to recommend going over the teacher's head, but I would encourage you to go up the "chain of command" and see what's up with this. Unless your daughter's middle (given) name is something really, exceptionally problematic (like a bad word??? - can't imagine), I think this is an unreasonable policy.

Texas is one of those states where it is not against the law to go by another name...like using the last name of your step dad even tho he's not your dad or using another name just cause you don't like your first.

I know this because before my son's adoption by his dad, he went by his dad's last name at school.

I would talk to the administration of that school...and if you got no satisfaction, school board...to find out about the policy.

Life shouldn't be this hard in pre-k.

Try going to the school board. You and your child have a right to call her by her name. If it is on her birth certification, it is her name. It's not as if you are asking them to call her by a nickname. Their roll call can reflect her middle name if they take the time to put that on there. They are just being lazy. Anyway, good luck. Fight the battle now, cause it will keep going if not.

I've never heard of a teacher not calling a child by a nickname or middle name. Now, for "official" school records, the legal name has to be used, but in the classroom, they can use whatever they want.

That is insane and you do what you think is best for her. She is just a little kid and they are adults, what is THEIR problem?

That is absolutely rediculous!!!
My son does not go by his first or even middle name. He goes by a nickname and I have never had any problem with his day care and then pre-school using his nickname.
He is starting Kindergarten on Monday and they will also be using his nickname.
I would have a discusion with the director and or owner and get it straightened out.

Have you spoken to the teachers directly? If you speak to them individual then most likely they will call her by her middle name.

Go to the school board. They can overrule any school teacher, principal, or bus driver. Explain your problem and findout, if you can, why these people are so anal. You would think they'd want to accommodate a child in his/her first school experience, but apparently not. Later...

My husband has never gone by his first name. Everyone knows him by his middle. I would speak to the principal about this and throw a fit if needed. I know public school papers ask for a "Nickname" so they know what kids are really called so they are comfortable. They don't get to decide her name, you do.

When I was in the 5th grade my teacher tried to shorten my name to "Tina". which is my sister's name but I said no. He insisted an my parents had a talk with him.

Don't give up or try and change to someplace else. A name is very important and you have your reasons why she is called by her middle.

I'm glad you posted this so I know what to do if I have this problem in the future. My son goes by his middle name (and so do my husband and FIL...they all have the same first name, different middle name). I would go to the principal like one poster said, and go from there. Go higher up of you have to. It's a stupid thing you have to deal with, and even dumber that they are so stubborn about such a little thing.

Have you spoken with the teacher? Maybe she will be more ammenable to calling her by a nickname. I taught 1-3 grades in public school and never had a problem calling my students by nicknames. However, if this is also the position of the teacher, I wouldn't go above her head on it. First of all, it would be pointless. Secondly, she may harbor resentment that comes out in her interaction with your child. Perhaps you can refill the paperwork leaving off her first name or using an initial in it's place and using only her middle?

I agree, they should call your daughter by her most familiar name. I mean what about all those kids with nicknames like Debbie, Danny, and Susie? Those aren't their true first names either. Where do you draw the line in this situation? My daughter goes by her first and middle name together. Would they insist on cutting her name short on a first name only basis? This is all about respecting the child. I agree with the previous posters. I'd look for another environment. I mean doesn't every teacher calling roll on the first day of school ask what the kids would prefer to go by?

Seriously? Of all the things in the world to worry about this teacher/school is micro-managing what you call your child? Ridiculous.

That being said you have a few choices...1) Go over the teacher's head and point out the obvious, possibly to no avail. 2)Explain to your daughter that her real name is this and that she will have to use it from time to time and that some prefer to use it. You can tell her that while it's not your preferance it is how things are done at this school. 3) Change schools...you can still get her in somewhere else.

Truthfully, if they are making such a big deal out of this what else are they going to make a big deal out of? Make sure it's the school and not the teacher before making any decisions, though.

The whole thing makes no sense. And to the person who criticized the main name issue...I know that we are all entitled to our opinions but come on! We have a variety of reasons for selecting the names we do and we can name our children whatever we want. It should not be a hardship for a teacher to use a name the child is used to! It's just dumb.

Good luck!

I have the same problem currently with my son's Pre-K. His first name is a family name (my grandfather's name, who died 2 months before my son was born). We call him his middle name because that was his planned name. It's his name alone and not something inherited and I felt it was fair to have that for him. At the meet and greet, I told everyone to call him by his middle name because he won't respond to his first (and would get in trouble not listening). They were all okay with it until I picked him up from school on the first day. The teacher told me the principal told her she had to use his first name. I confronted the principal and she said she did not say that, but it could be a rule somewhere else and she'd have to research. In the mean time they have started calling him by his middle name again. If they try to switch it back up (or call him by both his first and middle) I will ask for them to show me the written rule in a handbook or I will do as you did and homeschool. When I grew up, we always had the freedom to be called what we wanted. I do not understand why they make it so difficult.