Potty Training Follow up Question

Updated on August 14, 2008
C.V. asks from Whippany, NJ
14 answers

I recently requested and received wonderful feedback on potty training my 2 year 5 month old. I was getting her on the potty and having success 2-3 times a day using pull ups = if I didn't bring her, she would just go in her pull up. She even had 2 BM once last week and the week before totally unprovoked. This week, right when I am about to switch to underwear and hole up in the house - there seems to be a "refusal" - I 'll bring her in the BR and it's a fight to get her to sit and she shouts no pee pee. Any advice? I don't want to lose the progress we have made in the past 2 months but I don't want to cause power play issues? Do I just put her in underwear and have her learn that way or back off for a few days and let her come into the BR with me and stay positive? Advice needed....

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A.S.

answers from Rochester on

Let her lead her potty training.
Best thing I did was let her pick out underwear, let her pick out which one she wanted, wear it with a pull up over it (reduces mess!). When she gets wet, she FEELS it good! :)

I really liked the Elmo Potty DVD (can buy at Target/Walmart). When Prairie Dawn goes and buys underwear with her mommy, my daughter wanted to do the exact same thing she did!

Forcing her to the potty doesn't help - kids will become defiant as they're learning about CONTROL...

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A.M.

answers from New York on

Back off and relax. She'll get it. After another week of nothing but positive reinforcement try again. If she knew anything about your plans she could have just been nervous about the pressure. The progress she's already made is wonderful for her age. Let her lead you and it'll all work out fine! Good luck!

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R.C.

answers from New York on

I tend to think you should keep her in pull ups, think positive and keep trying.

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N.D.

answers from New York on

Does your daughter refuse to sit in her car seat? her high chair? Just tell her to sit for a minute or 2, tell her she doesnt have to make, but she has to sit. She might have been startled by something or sat too long. If they sit too long their little bottom can hurt and get stuck to the seat.

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C.I.

answers from New York on

Put her in underpants and encourage use of the potty. Have paper towels on hand for the accidents that will occur. I used a sticker chart for my daughter, which I put on the bathroom door for everyone to see and of course made a big deal of it when she did use the potty. Find a reward that will work for her. Eventually the reward won't be necessary anymore.
Good luck!!

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L.N.

answers from New York on

I found with my three that underwear was the best way. your daughter is ready. you may have a messy week but it is so worth it in the end. I found bribes help( I used m&ms) as well.Don't go back you're almost there.
L. N

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K.J.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,

Personnally I think that pull ups are confusing to little kids. Does she want to wear "big girl" panties or "baby" diapers (pull ups)? If she wants to wear panties she needs to understand that when she has to go, she needs to go to the bathroom and do her business. When my daughter was at the potty training stage, I just asked her if she wanted to wear panties or a diaper, she said she wanted the panties. I explained to her what that meant and that she couldn't just pee in her pants anymore. I probably drove her a little crazy the first few days with asking her about every 30 minutes or so if she needed to go and she would get very frustrated with me. I just backed off and let her do her own thing. The first time she had an "accident" she got very upset and I then calmly explained that "accidents" sometimes happen and what to do when it did. I gave her lots of praise for accomplishing going potty like a big girl and how proud I was of her. Also, anytime I went to the bathroom, she would come in with me and sit and "read" on her potty chair. Most of the time she would go then.

I hope this helps. Stay positive with her and by all means allow her into the bathroom with you everytime you go.

By the way, my daughter is now 16 years old....so its been a while since I had "potty training" issues and alot of things have changed in the world since that time.

K.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,
At less than 2 1/2 years old, it's great that you've had some toileting success. But at this young age, some backsliding is normal.
I will say that I don't believe in rewards as some other people do for using the toilet - it makes it seem like using the toilet is something the child can opt to do or not, and that it's something they do to please the parent. For real success, the child needs to be using the toilet because they want to. How to motivate? I'd suggest ditching those pullups that absorb just as much as a disposable diaper and don't leave your daughter feeling wet and uncomfortable. I would switch to heavy duty cloth training pants with waterproof outer layer or plastic pants over them. If she's still refusing the toilet, once she starts peeing in these and feeling good and wet, she may be more willing to use the toilet. If you must, tell her the store is out of pullups and this is what she needs to use now. Good luck

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A.F.

answers from New York on

i used lots of rewards. i started a sticker chart-many free ones online-and wrapped up some small gifts and every time my son sat and did something he got to pick a gift. after about a week, he was fully trained and now tells me he has to sit on the potty-he is i=older though, he just turned 3.

D.D.

answers from New York on

When my daughter was potty training her first child I recommended m&m's for rewards. She tried stickers and ended up using m&m's. Now she's training child #3 and still using the m&m method. One for sitting and trying and 2 for actually going. When my granddaughter needs to use the potty she runs down the hallway saying "m&m's m&m's"

S.T.

answers from New York on

This is so tricky and I think you have to just go with what you feel comfortable with. Every child is so different and I think instinctually as mothers we know which method will work best for our child and their unique personality. I had the same trouble with my daughter after she was essentially potty trained....she just seemed to regress for some reason...which I've read is totally normal. I just kept her in her underwear and always brought the potty with me in every room....there were lots of accidents, but eventually she realized that if she didn't get to the potty that she would end up wet and uncomfortable, which she didn't like. Now she's 2 1/2 and fully trained (although I do put pull-ups on her when we go out...but she does still tell me when she needs to go). I don't know if you used a book or specific method to train your daughter, but I had a lot of success with a book I downloaded from the website www.thepottytrainer.com there is a step by step system that works like a charm. Good luck....just breathe!
-S.
___________________
S. T.
Certified Holistic Health Counselor, member of the AADP
www.shannontategiordano.com
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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi C., I think your second idea is the best. Back off for a while. Potty training is never cut and dry. It can be very frustrating because it does go back and forth. Sometimes when they see how much it means to you they want to pull back. She is after all almost 2 (terrible two) when a child wants to show their independence. You have to follow her lead. Yes let her come into the bathroom. Start from square one. Part of the training is the maturity. When the feeling to go signals the brain. She also has to not want to be dirty. Yes, try to stay positive. Best wishes, Grandma Mary

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A.S.

answers from New York on

My daughter was 2 and 1/2 when she found out about princess underwear!

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M.K.

answers from New York on

Well everyone knows you can't really force them, BUT
you can firmly tell her she must go,

I had a similar situation, anywho

What I did was switch to under pants, accidents and all,
ate breakfast and set the egg timer for 20-25 minutes

We BOTH went into the BR together and sat on the potty
while in the bathroom I would not talk, and exaggerate my BM
making noise , peeing loudly , wiping in and obvious way,
and NEVER talked the whole time

THEN after wards I let my son flush,
IF he pee'd or poo'd he flushed that a second time

Initially I gave him candy , M&M's or reeses peices

After he gave me the pee LOL

At some point he started refusing and I simply and firmly made this NOT an Option--

Bribery works but only to a point, What really worked best for me was just telling him to hurry up so we could go on a play date, or to walmart, out to eat whatever it was.

And he would hurry up.

We still don't wipe quite right, but that does come in time LOL

M

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