Pool Question

Absolutely on the parents having to supervise their own kids. I don't even let other kids use my daughters bounce house unless the parents come with them, and if these kids are not my daughters friends or if they're ridiculously older than her it's a complete no go. Like some one else said you are not the neighborhood baby sitter.

hi there,
i say dont let the sister come over if she brings friends, that is totally rude. my sister has this all the time. kids come over and bring others (RUDE) and then they barely hang around her kids (RUDER) and so just for principals sake is say dont let them. if i had a pool i'd just simply say no. and i'd invite only the people i want and if the sister was to bring other kids from the neighborhood i'd say their mothers have to come other wise they cant come mabye that will stop them from coming? i dont want to be mean to kids but its just rude. i can see if they all started hanging out like a group of friends but i see it happen all the time to my sisters kids and its just not right.

Just remember you would be held responsible if something terrible would happen. Use that as an excuse, you are not willing to be responsible for other children other than your own... or possibly the closest of friends depending on how strict you want to be. We had a pool growing up and know about the "friends" all the sudden showing up, I really liked it when my parents stepped in and said they could not come.. It didn't feel nice as a kid to have these people only come around when the pool was open.. I would rather nothing to do with them if they didn't want to hang out with me when the pool wasn't up and running..

I agree with the other moms. Parent "must" accompany child, period!! And only those invited are welcome, period!! Pools are a safety issue and you should not be responsible for other peoples children, plus if something where to happen, what then...? Good Luck!! I envy your pool, but not the barage of kids coming over!!

Just say No!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is non-negotiable in my book.

I don't have a pool but I think if it were me I would require that a parent accompany any other kids in my pool. This rule alone will probably eliminate a lot of the "uninvited" guests as those parents are probably not going to want to come. You might want to just have a talk with the girl's parents and explain that you don't mind their son and his sister coming over but you would prefer that she not invited others. I'm sure they'd take care of it for you.

Good luck,
K.

We had the same problem with a girl in our neighborhood, would rarely see her all year, but as soon as the pool opened she came by all the time.

Tell the girl straight out, you can come swim with your brothers, but your friends will not be able to come along.

You can make excuses like now is not a good time, or the kids will be getting out of the pool soon. Also, I will not allow any children in my pool when I do not have direct permission from the childs parents.

I don't have a pool but I do know that if I did and that was happening to me I would simply and nicely tell the girl that just because she was invited to come over and swim doesn't mean that she can invite anybody else. It is rude to invite people to a pool or place that is not hers especially with out permission. And then I would make it know that I needed to know the kids and their parents in order to swim in the pool... I would just set down the rules and it isn't to late you did just open your pool last weekend... I hope this helped

say, nope. Sorry. This is for my son's friends and siblings only.

Your pool. Your rules. We have a pool and until the kids are over 16, a parent is required. Only those that are invited not extra friends. We also have strict rules on language and horse play. If they don't like it, let their parents buy the pool. Too much risk to be leinient here.

Hi R.,
I simply say "I'm sorry but right now there are too many children here for me to be responsible for by myself". You might also call the boys Mom and let her know how you feel.

When your son is asking his friend over, he can simply say "you and your sister are welcome to come over, but my mom really wants to keep the number of kids limited so the invite is just for the 2 of you."

Hope something works....It's just one hazard of having a pool

It is inappropriate for kids to invite other kids to someone else's pool (your child's friend's sister who is inviting her friends). I'd speak with the parent and let them know you don't mind the friend or sister coming, but need them to control who their child invites to YOUR pool. If they think this is odd (which a normal parent should not) let them know you need to speak with the parents of the other children first. I would not want my child feeling so entitled to the neighbor's pool and over stepping boundaries like this and would want to know about it. Think of the issues you'd have if something happened! You're liable for whoever is in your pool, so you need to have a relationship with all the parents of all the kids and be sure everyone is on the same page. And that's just if you WANT the other kids there, if you don't want them, then be sure to nip this in the bud! This sister needs to learn some manners!

I think you have every right to say that only one friend per each of your kids, or two, or whatever you want to say, will be allowed at a time, and that you need to be sure it's OK with their parents (unless they're older teens - I can't tell from your message). I'd talk to the neighbor you really do know and tell her that for safety and everyone's sanity, you need to lay down some groundrules about the use of the pool, and this is what it is. Perhaps some can sit and wait their turn, and that should discourage them right there, but you can limit who's in your yard as well. I do it ever so sweetly but firmly.

I wouldn' talk to the girl about it as much as her parents. I would say something to her parents. let r know you don't mind her and her brother coming into the pool thats fine but you really don't like being responsible for these other kids you don't know in your pool. I would say something because if something happens to your pool they aren't gonna cop to doing it or if something happens to them your responsible. I would say something other wise there gonna keep walking on you and you have to stand your ground.

i say it is your pool so if it bothers you then tell her she cannot bring her friends. Pools are expensive to maintain and it is for your enjoyment not for the neighborhoods. Just because you have a pool doesn't mean that you have to feel obligated to house the neighborhood kids at your home. I think it's nice that you let your son's friend swim, and even nicer that you allow his sister to come too, however I would put a stop to the other neighborhood girls coming over. If there was ever an accident their parents would hold you accountable, so I would tell them they need to go back home. You are not running a daycare or summer program, so don't feel bad about the decision. It is your pool, you set the rules on how many kids can be out there.

Hi R.---I would also say the friend and the sister only. How old is the sister? Depending on the answer to that question, I would either explain to her or her mother that the sister cannot invite friends...you simply are not willing to be responsible for all of those people.

If you were so inclined, maybe the sister could have one friend ONLY over with her so that she had someone her age/sex to play with. The two boys may be a little rough for her. She could ask her other friends over in rotation. THEN, depending on your generosity, you might take one day and just let all of them swim for a couple of hours together. BUT, the friend's mom would be required to join you to help chaperone.

I agree that this is very frustrating when everyone just expects to be able to swim in your pool. Decide what you are willing to deal with, lay some ground rules and then tell the neighbors what you've decided. You haven't opened a daycare or a municipal pool. But, come to think of it, maybe you could earn some extra money during the summer by charging the neighbor kids to swim in your pool, LOL.

Good luck. D.

I totally agree I would not want the whole neighborhood swimming in my pool! However, how many girls is she bringing over? I would allow her to bring ONE friend with her. If you don't mind if she swims, she is not going to want to swim with her brother and your son.

Like others in the neighborhood I was one of those that weren't friends of the kid that lived there (I was older). To use the pool the mom had the kids work for it. We mowed the lawn, pulled weeds and helped keep the pool clean. I personally ran errands and babysat for her. It was a fair trade. We did our fair share to help out and we got to use the pool. No work or complaining about it - no swimming. And NEVER when they weren't home or she was busy and couldn't be outside with us. I'm sure she had some arrangement with the parents so they knew how we spent our days.

When we were kids, our neighbors and very good friends had a pool. Our parents were great friends and exchanged babysitting us kids on opposite days of the week so we swam in their pool often and took care of it when they were out of town.
Of course, every kid in the neighborhood wanted to swim but many of them were not friends with our neighbors kids, nor were they friends with the parents or knew them that well.
Their solution was that if the parents of the kids asked and they met them, they would allow their kids to swim in their pool, BUT that parent had to stay and watch their child(ren) swim in the pool. The owners feeling was that they had other things to do with their time than babysit and watch every kid in the sub swim in their pool -- and especially those who they weren't friends with. Now that I'm an adult, even though we don't have a pool, I understand with and agree with their logic.
However, in this day in age, THERE IS NO WAY I'd let kids swim in our pool (if we had one) Who I didn't know or didn't know their parents well. There is FAR TOO MUCH LIABILITY if someone gets hurt or something and people are far to happy to try to lay blame on someone else for an accident and willing to pursue legal matters to sue you. I personally would not take on that risk. Ask yourself this: do you want to risk losing your home and everything else because this neighbor girl brings a friend that you don't know very well to swim in your pool, thus making you responsible for her safety while swimming at your house? If anything happens, you are responsible. Drowning in like the #2 cause of death in children ages 1-19 yrs old -- it was just on the news again last week.

I'd tell them sorry, but if they want to swim, they have to bring one of their parents with them and their parent has to watch them swim. In addition, If I didn't know that parent very well, I'd probably have them sign something, like a waiver of liability or something. Sounds extreme, but I've met some parents who would happily say they'd watch their kids and then doze off in the lawn chair and not pay attention to what the kids were even doing.

Just my 2 cents.

That is a tough one. I would want to stop it NOW before it gets to be a habit for the whole summer. You might explain it as a liability issue. Kids swimming in your pool are a big liability and too many at once could be difficult to monitor for safety. Maybe you could have a number limit? A friend of mine, years ago, had a trampoline in her yard and had the same problem. She did two things. She charged the kids $ .50 to jump for 30 minutes AND required a parent to come along. It stopped immediately.