Please Help - Chattanooga,TN

my first question is do you have regular periods? I so try WWW.babyhopes.com they have an ovulation calandar you can use. I would also suggest buying a home ovulation kit. they run about $20. You use most of them just like a pregnancy test, but it will show you when you are going to ovulate. If this doesn't work talk to you ob/gyn they may be able to help more.

My daughter has an endocrine problem. We were told that when she wants to get pregnant, after a year of trying without success, the endocrinologist will then refer her to another endocrinologist who is a fertility specialist.

So, they are in private practice and at fertility clinics.

I'll repeat the advise about waiting for a baby. You are so young. And seem to be pretty well uninformed about your own reproduction. Whether you go back to school (did you graduate high school? if not, you must get your GED! Your husband OWES you at LEAST that much!) or if not please READ and learn about the world around you! Take on that responsibility.

And guess what? When you do have a baby you cannot just guess at how to care for him/her. A LOT of reading and research is necessary on your part to know how to care for a baby.

I'm not trying to get on your case, I'm just voicing my concerns (and trying to restrain some of them, ha!) and you did ask our opinion. :)

I hope you think long and hard about this and picture your life in 20 years (a very difficult thing for early 20-some year olds to do!!! I remember all too well) Your husband will be retired or too old to work long hours and your child will be in college. How will you provide for your child if you have no education?

I'm cringing at being so plain about it, but I hope it might open your eyes a little. Many apologies if I strike a nerve, hun! Good luck to you.

G. - wait. If you feel there is a void in your life - something missing and you can't put your finger on it - then go to school and find a career path. If your husband is a good man, then he will be supportive of you continuing your education and blossoming into a more well rounded and independent woman. I am sure he realizes that he won't be around to take care of you or a child forever, and would want you to have resources and skills to live happily and well. A child can wait, your personal growth and education cannot. Good luck.

Wow 19. I am a firm believer that people should wait until their 20's to have a child. It is about so much more than age. There is emotional growth that happens until your mid-20's that can't be rushed. I know it seems like a good idea but it will still be a good idea in a few years. I am not that much older than you at 25 but I waited until I was 24 to have my son b/c it seemed like I was finally a grown up. I felt grown up at 19 too but looking back I have changed so much. So if you have been with this man for 3 years you were 16 when you met. I was one month away from 18 when I met my husband and I already feel like we are growing apart. Sometimes I feel like he met a different me. Maybe there is a reason you are not getting pregnant right now. It is probably for the best. I hope you make the best decision for the child that you are trying to bring into this world and not what you want. (what does your family think) Just remember that you will be responsible for this child longer than you have been alive.

Go to college first. Educated women make better mothers. You don't even have a life of your own yet. You need space and a chance to experience life on your own two feet. How can you raise a child to it's fullest potential when you haven't finished growing up yourself? Have you seen the Grand Canyon yet? Have you learned about the African tribes of Kenya? Have you ever tested for caffiene in a chemistry lab? Have you seen the Carribean ocean and gone snorkling? You need a little more under your belt before you settle down with kids.

Hi G., You didn't say if you were on birth control or not. Did you stop it to get pregnant? Sometimes it can take between 1-5 years to get pregnant depending on what a person uses. Before walking into a doctors office, I would suggest heading to your local library and doing some research. There are several factors which could play into your story. Charting your ovulation so you can try at peak times, making sure your diets are healthy, ect...

I don't want to sound hurtful, but there is a huge age difference and you don't sound super educated on your own circumstance. Having a child is much harder than you can amagine. I am speaking from my own experience. My husband is 11 years older than me and we have been together since I was 18. We planned out our life and where we wanted to be in the future years. I finished school, we bought a house, we obtained custody of his son, (yes I'm 25 and mom to an almost 17 yr old) we had stable paying jobs, and we really thought the baby thing over.

We waited and I had our son 2 years ago. I chose to breastfeed to give him the best start available. At 4 months he would not take a bottle and I left my job to become a SAHM. Really think about you as a person before you proceed futher. S.

G., sweetie, you are SO young! Are you sure that having a baby right now is really best for YOU? What if you decide in a couple of years that your life's ambition is to be a doctor, a teacher or an accountant and you have to go back to school? It will be so much harder to accomplish that if you have a baby than it will if you are childless. And what if you manage to conceive now, but you become pregnant with twins or triplets instead of just one baby? Are you ready for that kind of responsibility? Please search your heart and carefully and make sure this is what you want and that it isn't just something you are doing to make your husband happy. Chances are you will be the one who bears the full burden of caring for your children, so you need to be sure you are ready for that responsibility!

Seriously????? Try being a kid yourself for a while you are only 19 years old!!!!! If you were 16 when you started up with a 45 year old man -- there are already issues there and I don't believe that you need to be worried about bringing a baby into the mix. Good Luck and if it is meant to be ... it will be!

Most people don't realize how hard it is to get pregnant - you have a very small "window" every cycle (not necessarily every month, but however long your cycle is)...less than 24 hours. Typically, it's once every 28 days - so, for example, if you stopped your period, two weeks after would technically be your day of ovulation, then if the egg is not fertilized, you have your period about 2 weeks alter. If you don't have sex on that particular day at the right time, you're not going to get pregnant & if you've been taking birth control pills, that can really mess up your hormones for a while - and it could be that those chemicals are not out of your system yet.

You would talk to your care provider that does your female exams (if you don't have one - really research for a good care provider that you would trust helping you make good decisions during pregnancy, labor, and birth - a midwife preferably). They can talk to you about your options in getting pregnant, homeopathic fertility options, other fertility issues...etc.
Basically, you would ask to talk to someone about getting pregnant and possible causes for not being able to, and what you can do as a healthy option to help.

Also remember that stress messes up your cycle and can cause you to not get pregnant.

M. D. B.
Esali Birth Childbirth Educator
www.esalibirth.com

G. -- I am sorry that some of the responses to your request have been so ugly. I don't think you have to be any certain age to be a good mother. If you and your husband have been married for 3 years, you may just be more mature than the average 19 year old. There are benefits to having your babies when you're younger. I started in my 30's and feel that it has been harder on my body than it is for a younger mother. Also, you don't have to have a certain level of education to be a good mother either. I have a degree, and I don't think that makes me a better mother. Mothering takes love, patience, understanding...a lot of things...but it doesn't require a degree.

With all of that said, I agree that 5 months is not a lot of time to be trying. I also agree with the ladies who suggested "Taking Control of Your Fertility." It provides a wealth of information. Don't start worrying that anything is wrong with you this early on. Also, while I do think that women should have annual Gyn exams, I don't think you need to specifically start having tests done on yourself to see why you're not pregnant. These things just take a little time. I promise that your baby will be worth the wait. Have fun and enjoy the anticipation!

Everyone should get tested for fertility & for you, get your hormone levels checked. An endocrinologist would be the specialist you would want.

Don't fret yet, it is way too soon. Go get some answers first.

G.,
I struggled with getting pregnant and my doc knew all about it. We tried several things. I had trouble with my period being regular so she put me on birth control pills for several months to get me back on track and then a fertility medicine. My OB was in the mix though. Are you seeing a ob? If not, I would get into one right away, get a check up, physical, blood work etc to make sure you don't have anything working against you like thyroid problems, etc.
Best of luck.
W.

I would strongly urge you to see your ob/gyn.

I would start with your primary doctor or OB/GYN. It really has not been that long and you could just need to relax and let things happen naturally. If your regular doctors can't help then you would need to go to a fertility doctor. They will need to check both you and your husband to discover where the problem is.

My SIL was already to go through fertility options. They had planned a vacation and she really concentrated on relaxation and just enjoying being with her husband. When they came back she was late but figured it was just because of the traveling. She called the fertility specialist and they advised her to come in for a pregnancy test, it was positive! Maybe it would work for you.

Good Luck!

ok ive not read any of the responces but i tried for several months to no avail but i finally said if it happens it happens and didnt really try any more if i was supposed to get preg then i would and lo and behold the next month i did so maybe you should just put that in your mind and have fun

Hi G. - talk to your OBGYN about the situation. It may be that one or the both of you have a fertility issue. Your OBGYN might suggest a test for your husband. Many more men than anyone realizes have fertility issues - it's just that male fertility issues are not discussed as openly as female fertility issues. Given your husband's age, it is a definite possibility, so talk to your doctor. Good luck.

Ask your OB who she recommends and go from there. That way you take the proper channels and may need a referral for your insurance anyway.

Good luck

G.,

I'm sorry you feel it's taking so long to conceive but in all honesty 5 months is not a long time. Most doctors won't even consider running test until you've tried for a year. If you still desire the consulting of a physician then I would recommend you start with your OBGYN. He's the one that will initiate a battery of exams and tests to see if you are the one having trouble. It may not be you, it may be your husband. If you don't get the results you want from your OBGYN you can got to a fertility endocrinologist. They specialize in fertilitiy issues and can help you get on a fast track to conceiving if what your OB recommends fails. But like I said 5 months isn't a long time at all - it took my longer than that to conceive my first one. Good luck!

I would visit your OB/GYN and discuss the situation. There are some things, such as checking to see if you are ovulating that are easy. If you aren't, there are medications like Clomid that help you to ovulate. I used this the first time I got pregnant. Ovulation kits are available in drugstores and they are like pregnancy tests - you pee on a stick right when you wake up in the morning. Good luck.

You should first talk with your OB. 5 months is not that long to be trying. I have been trying for 9 months and my doctor is telling me that I am fine and nothing is wrong. Sometimes it just takes a while. I assume that you are testing your ovulation each month with a kit and having sex during the times that you ovulate. The egg only lives for 4-6 hours after ovulation, so you have to really pay attention.. Your OB should be able to help you more. He can refer you to an infertility specialist if he thinks you need to go. Good luck!

At your age they are going to want to see you have tried for at least a year before they start running any tests or doing any procedures.

Once you get there your OB would be a good person to start the conversation with. They can either start doing some testing or give you a referral to who you need to talk to.

In the mean time I highly recommend reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." It is a great book that explains in detail how our reproductive systems work and how we can work with them both to get pregnant and avoid pregnancy. I think it is a book all women should read.

Good luck!

I'm always surprised at the wrong information that women have about menstrual cycles, ovulation and getting pregnant. You don't ovulate 14 days after your period starts, you ovulate 14 days BEFORE your period starts and that is if you are ovulating at all.
That said, get the book mentioned, Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It will explain all about your reproductive cycle, how it works, what can go wrong and how to chart it. I'd suggest charting for at least 3 or 4 months before you see a doctor and bring your charts with you. It can help a lot in making a diagnoses if there is something wrong.
While you do this send your husband to a urologist or andrologist to get a semen analysis. It is much simpler and cheaper to test a man and if there is something wrong with him then it doesn't matter if there is something wrong with you. I can recommend Dr. George Hill at the Nashville Fertility Center.
If you want to talk more about it, you can contact me. I've been thru it. I started trying to get pregnant when I was 19 and finally got my little girl at 36. I'm sure it won't take you that long, I have a lot wrong with me,

so you were 16???????? OMG. I can see that you are very confused about life. Perhaps God is watching over you and He feels it is not the right time. Also, at his age, he may have slow swimmers, as they say!? That is a HUGE gap in age, are you sure about all this? Are you sure you really want children at this time? You are so young and so much can change at this time. What is your Mothers advise? REALLY look at your life, and what you want out of it.

www.fertilityfriend.com is a good place to start. You are young so you have that working for you. Most drs wont even think about you having a fertility issue till you have been trying and charting for at least a year espically with your age. 5 months is not long to be trying. Get the book mentioned below its wonderful.

G.,
I am not one to judge the age difference between you and your husband. My hubby and I are almost 12 years apart in age. I think a bit of difference is that we met when I was in graduate school and not in the teen years. I am now almost 28 and just had our second child and couldn't be happier! Believe me, you will change and mature a lot over the next 5 years or so. Children are a wonderful blessing, but, please, I beg you to really pray and consider your choice to have a baby at such a young age. It is 24/7 responsibility and you will not have many choices about school/career/etc.. after the baby comes. You may grow to resent the baby and even your husband years down the road. You have plenty of time - even if you wait 4 or 5 years you will still be a young mom.

But if you still want to pursue having a baby right now, your OB/GYN would be the place to start. They usually don't do much fertility testing until you've been trying for at least a year.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

you need to start by getting the book _taking charge of your fertility_ by toni weschler. it will answer many of your questions and get you started on the right track toward pregnancy achievement.

good luck!

R.

You need an infertility specialist. Get a referral from your OB GYN or look in the telephone book under "doctors - fertility specialists."

G.,
It takes on average 6mos - 1 year of trying for a woman to conceive. I know you are probably impatient, however, there are some things you can do. First, chart your periods- put a mark on the date you started your period each month if you are not already doing so. Your cycle begins on the 1st day of your period and ends with the next period. Once you have figured out the length and timing of your cycle, you can assume that you ovulate 14 days prior to the start of your period. Predict out your next period, and count back 14 days on a calendar, and you will get an idea of when you are most fertile. Combine that with the consistency of your cervical mucus, you should get a pretty good idea of when you are likely to conceive.
See this link for more on cervical mucus or you can google it out- there are tons of websites out there relating to this topic:
http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/cervical-mucus.html
If you try this for a couple of cycles and you are still having issues, then I would see the OBGYN. I know it's hard, but hang in there. Best of luck to you.

First off, if you were on birth control for a long time, it could take awhile for you to get pregnant. It took me 8 months to get pregnant with my first once I came of birth control. Second, make sure you are hitting the days you are ovulating. Count 14 days from the first day of your period. My husband and I made sure we hit day 12, 14, & 16 every month. Can't say this will help you for sure, but you can give it a try.