Trouble Conceiving Our Second Child

Updated on February 16, 2008
M.B. asks from Middleburg, FL
20 answers

I am 23 years old and me and my husband have a 3 year old son and we have been trying to have another child for a couple months now. I was just wondering if anyone has had a similar problem with this and if anyone has any suggestions on speeding up this process! We really want a baby!!!! We had NO trouble conceiving our son at all! Thank you

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So What Happened?

Ok, so I took a test this morning and it is positive!!!!! We are completely excited and thankful! Thanks for everyone's support!

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K.A.

answers from Melbourne on

I hate to say this, but stop thinking about it. I tried for 2 years with 2 out of my 3 kids and everyone kept telling me not to think about it. I hated when they said that because I wanted to get pregnant so badly. But they were right. When I stopped stressing about it, it happened. Just relax and have fun. I bet that's how it happened the first time right?
My third child (who is now 4 months old) came as a total suprise because we thought we were done having kids. Good luck, it will happen.

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P.C.

answers from Pensacola on

My first two were about 3 years apart and I wanted the third one to be about another 3 years... well, she ended up being 6 years later, but the thing is... I finally got pregnant right after I gave up trying! So I would say, RELAX, and give it time!

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T.W.

answers from Orlando on

I would read back through some of the entries made on this same topic back a few months ago.
And most importantly relax and enjoy each other. You have to be intimate with each other because you love and want one another, not because you have a goal in mind. That's when it will happen when you stop trying to force it to happen.
God gives us things in his own time not ours.
So, relax and enjoy some alone time with your husband and I bet it'll happen before you know it.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.F.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have heard several testimonies to what Tahitian Noni Juice has done for people, and one is that several ladies drinking the juice has being able to conceive. I have no personal testimony to attest to regarding the concern you have, but I am seen amazing things happen because of the product.

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A.A.

answers from Punta Gorda on

Hi,

I agree with the previous posts. A year's time window is normal IMHO for a fertile couple hoping to conceive.

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M.A.

answers from Lakeland on

Hi M. ,
we went throug the same thing we had our boy 3 years after our girl we tryed every thing we could think of then I went to have test to see what was wrong . i had some blood work dane and my husband had to see how his little men where swimming .. Well my appt. fell on Fed 14 th well wouldent you know it I was all ready pregant. i was the best Valentines ever you should have seen his face at dinner when told we where haveing another we both cryed . we spent the rest of the night tell our family and friends .. Good luck I hope you all get your new onw soon I will pray for you Melzie

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M.W.

answers from Melbourne on

Hi M.,
If you were on birth control it will take your body some time to adjust. I wouldn't worry about it, that makes it worse. You should relax and forget about it and just be surprised and happy when it does happen. You know you both want another child so stop trying and it will happen. Two months is not a long time to wait. I also had a difficult time and it took me 4 yrs. before it happened. I also was trying, and maybe too hard and it never happened. Once I stopped trying it happened. Too much stress over it can stop it from happening. Love and enjoy what you have, boys need more attention and time with mommy than a girl will they seem to be more independant sooner. Enjoy your family and relax.

S.L.

answers from Orlando on

Do not be discouraged, it took us 10 years!!!! My best suggestion is to consult your ob-gyn. In my case it turned out I have PCOS, but found out after going through 4 doctors.
Good luck!

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P.G.

answers from Orlando on

A couple is defined as infertile if they have not conceived after trying for one year if you are under 35. I agree that two months is not a lot of time. Each month there is a 25% chance of getting pregnant.

Some things you can try: charting your basal body temperature. Go to www.fertilityfriend.com. They have a free online course that teaches you how to do this. You can also try ovualation predictors. Both of these methods will help you know when and if you are ovulating to maximize your chances of conceiving. If you are still not pregnant after one year of trying I suggest you see a Reproductive Endocrinologist (a fertility doctor) to help you find out why.

Good luck! I am also trying to get pregnant but am a bit older than you. I am hoping it goes well for us both.

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S.S.

answers from Tampa on

Hi M.,
You should see your OB/GyN as it is very common to have issues, when you are trying to have second baby. You can also search on internet and find many articles -- different reasons and some are easy to treat. several of my friends and family had issues and most of them had a second baby after the right treatment. Also, stress plays a big role -- if you are trying hard to conceive and stressed, sometimes that causes the issue. Two of my friends just gave up after one year of trying .. they did not want to go to Dr. -- and sure enough when they thought -- they are happy with one child and that's how life is going to be .. there came second pregnancy ...
Take Care and see your Dr.

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C.D.

answers from Orlando on

It took me fifteen years between my first two, then the third came two years later. Anxiety was the biggest problem. My story is a long one. Just enjoy the first and when you least expect it the second will come. God gives them to us when He is ready. Don't rush it. You are still young.

C. D

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S.S.

answers from Tampa on

I had trouble conceiving my first. Go the the web and on earlypregnancytests.com you can buy ovulations tests very cheap, less than 99 cents each. Test every day and you'll know exactly when to try and you'll be successful in no time! Good luck!

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S.P.

answers from Tampa on

I know many women who had a bit of trouble conceiving quickly so they read a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." It teaches you how to track your cycle and know when the most opportune time to conceive is. My sister tried for about 5 months before she read the book. She then read the book and charted for 20 days and then got pregnant. I say give it a try. If anything, it'll help you become more familiar with your body and how often you ovulate. Best of luck!!

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S.L.

answers from Tampa on

Hi M.! I had a similar situation. I got pregnant without even trying with my son but when we wanted child #2, it took us about a year and a half to conceive. I saw my doctor after not conceiving for about 10 months, but prior to that I was doing the basal body temperature and ovulation detector strips. It turned out that I had stopped ovulating (which I didn't know about since you can still have your period without ovulating) and got pregnant after two rounds of Clomid. But maybe try the basal body temp and ovulation detector before seeking help from the doctor. Good luck!

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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

A couple of months is really nothing, if you think about it that means you have only tried to conceive twice since you only ovulate once a month. Give it some time, it may take a while especially if you have been on birth control since your first one. I would not worry, some people try for years. My husband and I were married for 13 years before our son, and tried for 2 before conceiving this one.

T.

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M.L.

answers from Tampa on

It is easier said than done. I am a mom of two girls ages, 6.5 and 4. The only thing I can say is try to relax and make sure the baby is sleeping or drop him offat a family's house for a sleepover. I know when my first was younger, I always thought about her and it made those romantic times a bit more difficult. :) Try not to think about how much you want the baby because worry makes the process longer. Good Luck and it'll happen before you know it.

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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi M.. You can also look back a few pages and see my post on this same topic back in December. I got pregnant with my son the first month we tried, so I thought the second would go just as easily. About 4 months into it is when I posted here, turns out I was pregnant at the time! What I did doesn't leave much room for romance, but it should cut your time down. You have to know when you are ovulating! My cycle changed after I had my son and when I actually started to track from the first day of my period to the first day of my next period, it was always changing. One month it would be 25 days, the next it was 29. Four days changes the window in which you should be trying a lot. I went to ivillage.com and signed up for the free two month fertility planner. You really have to play with it and read about it to make sure you understand all the settings. It will actually give you your fertile window and if you track your waking temp. it will also give you your day of ovulation. That brings me to the next step, buy a basal thermometer for $8. I got mine online but I think CVS has them too. After you start your cycle, you take your waking temp before you get out of bed every morning. The form that comes with the thermometer will explain it, but you will see a temperature spike on the day of or before you ovulate and it really works! My temp for a week was like 94.1 and one morning it was 97.9! I also bought the ovulation test strips you can get everywhere and used those every morning as well. The morning my temp spiked, the test strip came out positive. This means you should be spending some time with you hubby that day and the next 2-3 days. The first month I tried all this, I was amazed the stuff actually worked and I am due at the end of August! You could probably just use the temp, the test strips probably aren't necessary. the fertility planner was cool though, I would definately use that.
It turns out that I just was not calculating my fertile days correctly because my cycle was always changing by a few days. Good luck and let us know!!

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V.S.

answers from Tampa on

Two months isn't really a long time, M., and you are still young. Go see your doctor to be sure everything is working properly. You'll be pregnant soon. This is from a grandmother who has been through it all.

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S.J.

answers from Jacksonville on

It took us almost a year to conceive our second daughter. For me, I discovered I was literally ovulating within days of starting my period. I ovulate day 5 and not the usual day 12-14 like I did with my first born.
Not to say that this is your issue, but I had a friend at the YMCA give me her leftover ovulation strips and that was how we found out- then conceived within two months.

Good Luck to you! It will happen...
S.

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K.H.

answers from Jacksonville on

I agree with Kristen's response. My husband and I tried for the first time for over a year and one day we stopped caring about trying and that is when we concieved. If you stop worrying about and just go on with your life it will happen. Trust me. I didn't think my husband and I would ever have kids, but we did. Just relax and enjoy the day. Don't over stress or it will take longer.

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