Piggy Back: Another Pet Peeve

I don't mind it. By hearing that question my grand kids know there's a possibility they could have flunked and that by passing they did something good.

It does them good to get to say yes, they passed. It does them good to know there is a great big possibility they could have flunked.

I think it is supposed to be more of a conversation starter....the kids LIKe to talk about how they are growing up so fast and progressing through life, at least mine do!

There was a time when a few kids didn't pass. We do a lot of social passing now. That said, I suggest it's J. a way to have a conversation. It's a pat question.

I don't understand why it upsets you. Perhaps if you could figure that out you could let go of your focus on the question and J. let it float on by.

I always thought of it as friendly and funny. I haven't heard it since I was little when people would ask M., and I blushed and said yes and got all shy because then they'd congratulate M. and all that. I don't find it offensive. Like you said, not THAT many kids would have to say "no" and be humiliated, so they'd always get to brag pretty much...

I'm thinking it is J. kind of an open ended question inviting the child to talk about moving from one grade to the next. Kids could respond in so many ways. "Yes, I will be in grade 5 in the fall." "I did really well, except math was kind of hard." "No. I have to repeat the 4th grade." "I'm so glad it's done. I hope 5th grade is more fun." Today kids are no longer held back (in Canada, anyway). They are promoted to the next grade, and work on an Adapted Learning Plan in the same class as their peers, but in the past there were kids who did not pass on to the next grade.
I'm sure it is the first question I ask my own kids when they bring home their report cards.

It is probably older people who would ask that. Back in the glory days, we did not social promote. Nowadays it takes an act of Congress, 55 notes to parents and a dill pickle to fail a child.

What is the big deal about the question if you have 'regular' kids? Now, if you had a slower-ability child, that would be an issue to talk to the adults about out of earshot of your child.

I'm going to assume that it is asked tongue in cheek and maybe their sense of humor is J. different than yours. Do they ask other questions that seem inappropriate?

Aww, I think it is J. a good natured and humorous question. My uncle always asked us, and we weren't the type of kids that ever had any kind of academic struggles. I HOPE that whoever saying it to your kids is J. trying to make a light hearted comment as a way of being friendly. I seriously doubt that they have any other intent.

Maybe it's a case of adults being sonewhat sensitive to the fact that some kids DO fail?
How would the kid feel if they failed & had 20 adults asking "So...all ready for 4th grade?"
J. a thought.

If someone asked you that, they probably asked others as well.. Therefore, I really think the question reflects more upon the person asking it than you.. In which case, I wouldn't take it personally..

I've never heard anyone ask that question. Is it the same adults every summer? I'm sorry, but I think it's in very poor taste... I would have a very hard time not looking hard at someone for asking that...

Yes, it is kind of common. You should see the summer schools around here. Full to the brim. Even in the top district. Lots of kids don't pass I'm J. curious if you know anything about the state of our country's school system? (I'm truly not trying to be condescending.)

With that said, it's J. a really dumb question. I can't recall ever being asked that. Why even let it bother you?

I don't understand the problem? Why in the world is this a pet peeve or even upsetting you?
They are J. making conversation with your kid mom, relax.
L.

Ha! I remember adults asking M. that question when I was a kid too. Like they were trying to be funny, like faking they were really doubting I would pass was some kind of hilarious joke. Ironically, both DH and I, though we were very good students, still had some anxiety about checking that last report card to see if we "passed" These dumb comments J. made us fear the worst. They same kind of people would ask "so, do you have boyfriend?" which was mortifying, but again, they thought making kids uncomfortable was humorous. DH and I still remember some of these things making us feel so bad we would never make the same comments to children now that we are the adults.

I think it's regional. I've never heard kids get asked that question. It's an odd way to phrase things, though.

Because it is what kids do. Not something I would lose sleep over.

My sister and I were both honor roll students and my dad would ask us "Did you pass?" It was a joke, nothing more.

It's J. a joke. We all assume the kids passed, but I always ask my grandkids if they passed. J. a joke. Calm down.