Asperger - What Does It Look Like?

The regional center knows what they are doing. They are very experienced with diagnosing children at a young age. If you are still worried seek a second opinion. Just because his pre-school teacher says she thinks he is autistic, that does not mean he does. While she may have some experience with kids, she does not, however, have a PHD in psychology. I am a teacher and I would never NEVER pretend to diagnose a child with ANYTHING because I know I do not have the qualifications to do so.

That sounds more like social anxiety to me . . . and probably not a severe case of that.

Good luck to you guys!

W. Please call me and lets talk tomorrow (sat) after 9

Penny Amic CEO/Clinical Director
Special Beginnings, Inc.
An Early Intervention Network
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W., I would say the interaction with the little girl actually points to the fact that he does NOT have Aspbergers. One of the symptoms of Aspbergers is that the child has no awareness of social repercussions. They tend to have intrusive social behavior because they do not anticipate a reaction, and when they get a reaction, they are completely nonplussed by it. The fact that your son is showing shyness indicates that he is aware that he may be rejected. Somebody with Aspbergers would not have this awareness.

Also, unlike other diagnosis on the austism spectrum, kids with Aspbergers tend to be normal in their speech, and often ahead in their speech development. So the fact that he isn't communicating with the teacher would not be a sign of Aspbergers.

I think many teachers are really aware that autism seems to be on the rise, but I believe there is a rush to label and diagnose. Our own son they told me was autistic at 3. He's now 7 and the sweetest, most affectionate and caring child. He turned out to have auditory processing disorder, which explains the extreme speech delay and challenges with social interactions. Ever since we got him help for that, his socialization has skyrocketed. And I might mention, I was the one who figured out the auditory processing issues, and the school fought me all the way. So your mom's intuition is really your biggest asset.

I hope everybody's posts have reassured you. Your son sounds normal, but a bit shy. And there's nothing wrong with that.

HTH,
B.

You know the only answer I have for you is follow your intutions and your mommy radar on alot of the issue you see in your child know one has the best interest for your child but you. My son is being evaluated at this time for asd and yet the school is taking the precious time doing the evaluation and giving me a hard time. I did not know alot of things and the schools nor the social workers fail to educate you on whats going on. All I know is in these cases especially in the state of Michigan there is very little help, so research and dont let the school or anyone make decisions for your son because they will try to do that.

As for the popcorn issue, I would have probably acted the same as a child, I had a very hard time with children my own age unless I lived close to them. I don't know why but I could hardly talk to someone that I didn't see in a home setting. I liked to read out loud, but to talk about something that wasn't on a written page was torture!
I was wondering why you don't you just tell the teacher that a qualified doctor said he didn't have this disorder and let that be that? When a child is diagnosed it follows him for the rest of his life, if there isn't a major problem why be concerned that it might be overlooked. It sounds like he has a few good friends and doesn't make problems otherwise. Just make him aware that he needs to answer the teacher or maybe he just doesn't know what to say. I know that when asking about a child's day you should ask specifics instead of general questions, so maybe the teacher should ask if they went anywhere special or play any games, etc. Sounds to me like the teacher needs more training, a child will usually open up if he is playing a game and asked specific questions. I hope you don't let this worry you too much and don't push for him to be labeled yet, he just needs some time.

Nope that doesnt sound like Aspergers at all - more along the lines of social awkwardness. He's only 5 and girls and authority figures may be two groups he's not totally confident engaging in conversation with.

Give him lots of support and positive kudos for reaching out to other people while watching how much pressure you put on him to perform. It's along the lines of "I know you feel shy talking to a girl, but it's okay. She will think you're very nice and it's the polite thing to do" If he really doesnt want to do it then be graceful and later, when it's just the 2 of you, you can ask him what made him feel uncomfortable.

My oldest would get really shy even around some of his aunties that he sees all of the time. We were meeting my sis one day (he was 7) and I told him that it's okay to talk to his auntie when she asks him about something and it's okay to ask her questions too. I told him that it would make her feel really good to have a conversation with him because he was a really cool kid and he is someone she would like to get to know.

I didnt push him to do anything that morning. He was awesome with her and really engaged with her naturally and ever since then he has really opened up to all his aunties and even his older cousins. I was amazed all it took was a little bit of "permission"

Hi W.! My son has AS, usually along with it comes a host of other disorders as with my son for example ADD and ODD.
He is very socially immature at 11 yrs and always has been, the things that the psychologist pointed out to you in ruling your son out are all "classic" and almost surefire signs of AS and your son seems to be displaying none of these. My son never makes eye contact, he has no ability to process cause and effect situations, he lies although I believe unintentionally sometimes and has frequent meltdowns. His meltdowns when he was 1-2 used to land us in hospital due to injury from banging his head.
It sounds to me like your son may just be shy and lack a sense of self-confidence.
Perhaps alot of encouragement and praise can help you both move past this? When he finally whispered to the little girl asking for the popcorn I'm hoping you followed up with "great job!" and things like "see that wasn't so hard, you can do it!"
Good luck and just keep an eye on the social stuff and perhaps have him tested some within the school.

Symtoms of AS
Child May:
Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.
Dislike any changes in routines.
Appear to lack empathy.
Be unable to recognize subtle differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of others’ speech. Thus, your child may not understand a joke or may take a sarcastic comment literally. Likewise, his or her speech may be flat and difficult to understand because it lacks tone, pitch, and accent.
Have a formal style of speaking that is advanced for his or her age. For example, the child may use the word "beckon" instead of "call" or the word "return" instead of "come back."
Avoid eye contact or stare at others.
Have unusual facial expressions or postures.
Be preoccupied with only one or few interests, which he or she may be very knowledgeable about. Many children with Asperger's syndrome are overly interested in parts of a whole or in unusual activities, such as designing houses, drawing highly detailed scenes, or studying astronomy. They may show an unusual interest in certain topics such as snakes, names of stars, or dinosaurs.2
Talk a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common. Internal thoughts are often verbalized.
Have delayed motor development. Your child may be late in learning to use a fork or spoon, ride a bike, or catch a ball. He or she may have an awkward walk. Handwriting is often poor.
Have heightened sensitivity and become overstimulated by loud noises, lights, or strong tastes or textures. For more information about these symptoms, see sensory integration dysfunction.

I just copied and pasted this list from something I found on google. There is a ton of stuff out there if you just google it.

Hi W.,
from what you've written, it does not sound like AS at all. In fact, it sounds as though you have a very loving and sensitive little one on your hands. I think the tattling may even be a cue that your son is super-sensitive to injustice, and wants to champion the underdog: what a great kid!

Sounds like he has a BIG heart. Ignore the teacher. Since he does better one-on-one, make sure he gets plenty of opportunities outside school so he gets the socialization *he* enjoys.

Good luck!
t

I would say trust the psychologist. I went back and read your older posts. It sounds like only his teacher thinks he has aspergers. Maybe he needs a new teacher.

Your son may just do better one on one. Find activities away from school for him that he really likes and see if he can make friends this way. If he is anxious, work on that. Give him tools to fight his anxiety. Find yourself a good child psychologist and send him for a few sessions. Get tips on how you can help him work through his anxieties. Try not to over protect him and gently push him into new, yet on a small scale, social situations.

You son does not sound like he has Aspergers to me. And I don't know too many 5 year olds that have a whole bunch of friends. Your worrying may fuel his worrying. I know it's hard, but try to find ways so that you can relax about this. Maybe you can practice some relaxation exercises as a game with your boy.

Please continue to be the great parent you are being! It seems like you are following all the right avenues for helping your son, and that the DOCTOR has told you great advice. :) I wouldn't worry about what your preschool teacher says.

My nephew is a high needs child. He had some chronic ear infections that led to some speech delays. He is VERY shy, and has a hard time interacting with kids his own age, even though his Mom runs a daycare in their home.

His doctor thinks he is fine... even though my SIL has had a number of people ask her if he is autistic.

My point is - in our society, autism is so prevalent, and people are really quick to judge or label a child at a VERY young age. I think that we need to keep our minds open that all children develop differently. If we as parents are concerned, by all means, talk to your doctor, or get a few opinions if you really feel that something is wrong. But, make sure that you are not just labeling your child unnecessarily.

It seems like you are very attached to your son. This is a good thing. Keep up your good work, keep working with him to help him open up to other kids. Play dates and preschool are great to help with this kind of stuff, but listen to your doctor, and don't assume there is something wrong with your son because he isn't exactly in the same place as his peers.

Your doing great, and your son will benefit from your active, involved parenting.

Jessica

I don't feel that teachers are qualified to make that assessment. No offense to teachers - it just isn't their area of expertise.
I have had people ask me if my daughter has Aspergers or is on "The Spectrum," and she absolutely does not. She does have some personality quirks that most people just can't handle (ie does not "perform" on cue, can be exceedingly stubborn, will not answer stupid questions, and tends to be shy/aloof) and I guess the way some people deal with that is to attempt to diagnose...

Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it and would trust the assessments of qualified professionals rather than a teacher who would prefer to fit your child into a mold for her own convenience - let's face it, handling that many kids is difficult as it is without throwing all kinds of different personality traits into the mix.

To me, it sounds like your son is on the shy and introverted side, and probably doesn't like his teacher. Listen to the people who are educated and experienced in this field. Your son is just fine.

As a mother whose son was misdiagnosed by the school district, please know that you have the right to request a consultation from a private psychologist who specializes in children's learning disorders. My son was partially DEAF and had fine and gross motor skills delay along with the obvious speech delay. The school district attributed his speech delay to his hearing problem. I later had him privately tested as a teen. His hearing became normal about age five. THe testing results showed that he is high functioning autistic with ADD. He is very bright but does not read body language in other people very well. He has learned to make eye contact. He had a miserable time in school socially. He is not violent or aggressive and had just a couple of close friends through all his public school years. He was frequently the victim of bullies until he grew to over 6 ft in high school. He has blossomed as an adult and is finishing college this year. I think that you should get an independent evaluation. No child should suffer because of the current economic situation and I DO NOT TRUST SCHOOL DISTRICT PERSONNEL. I cannot repeat that enough. Good luck and be vigilant because you will be your son's best advocate.

OH my gosh, sounds like teacher read a couple of books and thinks she knows too much. I work with children with Asburgers, and actually they are not really shy. And autism, well that is totally different. I work with them, too. Your child sounds shy. And as an adult I actually have some of those issues - like not being able to speak up because I get nervous, so if in time something comes up there of course will be lots of help, but the teacher (is this a very young teacher?) might have read too much. Preschool teachers really ought to be carefuly about making random statements like that as there is so much development going on with the little ones. Just enjoy your little one, he sounds polite and kind. Probably much like mama.

Hi W.,
As a special ed. teacher who has worked with students who are on the spectrum my experience has told me that 1. doctors often don't diagnose properly as they don't have enough experience with spectrum behavior. 2. Many psychologists are on the spectrum and they have a horrible time recognizing their own position on the spectrum as well as not being able to recognize others on the spectrum and 3. Spectrum behavior has to be observed and recognized by people who are experienced in working with these exciting, fun, and interesting individuals. My favorite students are on the spectrum. Your public school district has the assessments and the teachers who have worked with spectrum children for a number of years would be your best bet to rule a diagnosis in or out. You may find the websites wrongplanet.com and wrongplanet.net helpful as well as Asperger Awareness on Facebook, a great forum from the Asperger perspective.
Asperger's is not a disability, it's a gift, society needs a paradigm shift.
W.

Autistic Spectrum disorders can show a wide range of symptoms and behaviors, and while there are some specifics that are very common, children shouldn't be diagnosed just based on what looks similar to other children with the disorder. Teachers may have a lot of experience, but they can get used to dealing with certain aspects of the disorder and then think that all kids with those issues may be autistic, but there is much more to a diagnosis than the social/behavioral issues. On the other hand, kids who don't have those familiar issues, may be passed up by teachers, who don't realize that they are struggling with the other problems that a spectrum disorder may cause.

My 4 year old was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, which is an Autistic Spectrum disorder, and some psuedo-professionals might disagree with any autistic diagnosis for him. My boy is incredibly social and outgoing, transitions through different environments and activities with little concern, makes easy eye-contact, is not shy at all (as a matter of fact, everyone is his friend!), he was an easy baby, almost never cried, and had very few discernable sensory issues. On the other hand, he has very low muscle tone, was very late in meeting physical milestones (still has some balance issues with walking, running, etc), only used about 5-10 words by 3 years old, didn't respond to his own name most of the time, and would become completely absorbed in a single action or activity for extremely long periods of time.

We tested his hearing, had neuro-exams for his low activity level, and psycho-educational exams, as well as a Regional Center evaluation. We were shocked by the diagnosis because we thought that all autistic kids were non-social, had difficulty with transitions, and had behavioral issues. Our's did not fit this model at all. I had even worked with autistic kids as a teacher assistant, and thought I knew what autism looked like.

I am glad that we went with the recommendations of the doctor and the Regional Center. I had spoken to teachers who didn't think that Oliver's symptoms and behaviors sounded like autistic spectrum. I didn't even think that they did. Since he started receiving services through early intervention with Regional Center followed by the school district about 18 months ago, he has incresed his vocabulary to being able to use 2-3 word sentences and has become physically stronger and more stable with the work of a devoted adapted physical education teacher. His social skills, which we thought were just fine all along, are being honed through learning to listen, follow commands, and to respond. We are extremely pleased that he is doing so well, and have much hope that he will be able to catch up enough to mainstream in about a year and join his peers in Kindergarten, with some extra assistance.

I would recommend that you let the teacher know that you have had medical and regional center evaluations and that your son, thankfully, does not have to overcome the difficulties of Aspberger's. (in other words, please stop trying to diagnose my child, the appropriate professionals have done that) Now, you can work together to create a system that will be the least traumatic way to help him deal with the behaviors that may be causing him some frustrations in social situations. Maybe you can see if your school has a resource specialist who can make recommendations. Also, there are some great books to teach parents about helping children overcome shyness and be more proactive in taking care of their own needs. You don't need a diagnosis to give your son some help with social skills.

I am a music therapist (www.mckeemusictherapy.com) who has worked with kids with autism for well over a decade. Your son just sounds shy and in no way would I assume he has Asperger's from your description. It is great that you followed up with the teacher's concern with the Regional Center. You did absolutely the right thing.

Do not freak yourself out about this. It will consume you. Your son will come out of his shell. I teach 4k and all of the kids are so different. Once you start comparing your child to others, it will make you crazy. Learn to enjoy your son and stay off the internet doing research, you will learn things that dont even pertain to your son and you will be observing and monitoring for things. Let him develop on his on, but provide opportunities for social engagement. Has he been in daycare before, or is this his first school experience? It just takes some children longer to become more social.

Hi W.-
I'm a speech-langauge pathologist who owns a private clinic in Pasadena. We treat many children with spectrum disorders. Here is a brief description of Asperger Syndrome:

Asperger syndrome is a developmental disorder and one type of autism spectrum disorder. Asperger syndrome develops in childhood and can impact a child's ability to socialize and communicate typically.

Although symptoms of Asperger syndrome can be similar to autism disorder it is actually a different condition. The significant difference between the two disorders is that people with Asperger syndrome develop and can use language skills,with the exception of social language (pragmatics), while people with autism disorder typically have significant delays in developing language skills.

The symptoms and severity of Asperger syndrome can vary from person to person. However, children and adults with the syndrome often exhibit a perseverative interest in a particular object or topic. They often become well versed in every detail of said topic and will talk about little else with others. They frequently have normal or above average intelligence and vocabularies. However, they are often incapable of participating in the give and take of a normal conversation or talk that covers a variety of topics or "small talk".

Other symptoms of Asperger syndrome can include repetitive rituals and other obsessive behaviors and delayed or poor development of motor skills, such as riding a bicycle or hitting a baseball. People with Asperger syndrome can also seem oblivious to the feelings of others and talk excessively fast or in a monotone manner.

The result of these symptoms is that children or people with Asperger syndrome have poor social skills, appear awkward and uncoordinated, have difficulty with normal interactions with others, and can become socially isolated if no intervention is provided.

Based on your description above, it sounds as if your son would benefit from a social skills program or a language based mommy-and-me class. Take a look at our website (www.justineshermanslp.com) for descriptions of both types of programs. We have a free discussion group scheduled next week, Tuesday, April 6th for those interested in finding out more information and to ask a licensed speech pathologist any questions you may have.

Good luck!
J. Sherman

i'm not a professional, but i think he's just shy. when i was in kindergarten, i was so shy that i wouldn't ever talk. i would tug on the teacher's shirt and whisper in her ear to ask to go to the bathroom or whatever i wanted.

your son will develop at his own pace - i am now very social and outgoing and have high self confidence. i developed this for myself as i slowly reached out over the years and found i could trust others and in the strength of myself.

all the best to you and your son!

Your son sounds normal to me too but just shy. My best friend's son has Aspbergers. Your son does not meet the description from what you are saying. When you have Aspbergers you don't understand social cues from other people which it sounds like your son does. Your son just sounds extremely shy. I was so extremely shy in school that I didn't say a word to anyone in preschool or kindergarten. First and 2nd grade I barely talked and maybe in 3rd grade I started talking a bit more. However, I was loud at home and played with the kids on my block and played with my cousins no problem. I finally got over the shyness by about 4th or 5th grade. Give your son some time, I think he'll be fine. I think a lot of people use the "autistic" label now when kids are showing normal growing up behaviors.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

your son sounds normal to me. he has a mind of his own, and is asserting his independence, or he can be particular about things..Or he is also too shy to ask the girl for popcorn. don't get where all these diagnoses are coming from. yes, he has "quirks" that does need work but doesn't sound like he has any asperger or austism.

Let me give you an example, my daughter is super bright, knew her letters and sounds since 2.5..read books like Dr. Seuss since 3.5, plays with anyone, has an inner teacher in her and can be a little bossy...like at school she'll tell other kids how they should do their work :). she loves to dance, can perform on a stage in front of hundreds.

BUT she is also TERRIBLY shy with one-on-one or when she is the center of attention. In example, if you brought a birthday cake to her and start singing happy birthday (she just turned 4 this month), she would literally close-up, not even look at the cake..and could literally cry. This happened at her school with 10 of her friends/classmates whom she plays with everyday. And she gets along very well with all of them... Her school is small only 11 enrolled. But when you're shy, something like this birthday moment can affect her. What I should've done, after thinking it over was to have had the cake already at the table and had the kids hang around perusing the cake first, with my daughter doing the same. So then when we all sang happy birthday she would've already been comfortable having seen the cake for the past 10 minutes. But I literally entered the room, almost unexpectedly, walked towards her with the cake while everybody starting singing. In that moment, she felt completely on the spot.

Also, she can't say hi to people she first meet, she literally gets frozen..and won't look at anyone in the eye at first meeting. If you push her to do it..it will make it worse. It takes her about 1-2 hours to warm up...depending on how much interaction she has with the person and how good they are with kids.
So does all this mean that she has some social disorder? Absolutely not.

Therefore, just because your son has a harder time connecting with NEW people, it doesn't make him Autistic or AS. He's just shy. And him not wanting to ask a peer for popcorn is the same reason. If I asked my daughter to do that, she would totally feel like she's being put on the spot and she won't.

My older son was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome when he was in grade 5. He is now a freshman in high school. Like the other moms said, there's a range in Aspergers, and some people say it's on the autistic spectrum.
I have had some great experiences with the school, and some not so great. Currently, in high school, the first class of the day is just for kids with Aspergers - and that is a life saver, especially in high school.
If your school is not giving you the answers you need, I recommend you work with a psychologist who works with kids who have Aspergers.

my nephew has AS and he does not sound like your son at all. He has not sense of danger or pain. He can't be calmed down once he has a problem. He can't be looked at or touched or interrupted if he is doing something. When he was a baby he would be playing nicely and then all of the sudden try to rip your eyes out with his fingers and bite and scream. At 2 his was climbing over 6 foot fences to get out of the yard. He goes to treatment now and hopefully things will get better.
IT sounds like your son is just shy. At a young age they really don't have too many friends and just are trying to figure people out. Go with what your doctors recommend and maybe find a new school. Hope this helps.

Hi W., I answered your post the first time, and I am still wondering what credentials this teachers has that gives her the ability to make a medical diagnosis? In my state preschool teachers aren't even required to have a college education! I would report her comments to her superiors as she obviously has you very upset and confused. If you think your son has AS get a second opinion from a developmental specialist who has a medical degree not a preschool teacher.

As a child I was painfully shy, I would not talk to my teachers or the other kids in the classroom. I would have died before I asked that little girl for some popcorn. I did not participate in group activities. Kids used to corner me and try to make me talk. I had one good friend and she was my life saver. I wanted to join in, I wanted to have friends, I wanted to raise my hand and answer questions but my shyness prevented me from doing so. I do not have AS. I was a very sensitive child, I grew up to be a very compassionate, caring person, who decided on a career in a caring, social field, nursing. It took me a long time to grow out of my shyness, grade school, junior high are not good memories for me, because being shy is painful. So my advise to you is, if your son does not have AS, accept that he may be shy and take him to therapy so that he can learn to come out of his shell and enjoy his school years.

ps: kids who tattletale usually do so to get attention, maby this is your sons way to interact with the teacher. He is probably very sensitive and senses her watching him and hears her comments.

Ask yourself how good are you at public speaking? If you are anything like me you dread it. When I am among friends and sitting down or in an informal setting I have no trouble speaking up and entering the conversation. HOWEVER I had to give a short speech a few times to mostly friends and people I knew well and I was very very nervous. Also if I am in an audience and the host asks a questions which I know the answer to I will not raise my hand or speak out.
I think you should take it easy on your son and let him socialize at his own speed. There is nothing wrong with being shy. In fact shy is better sometimes than an outgoing child who monopolizes a conversation, butts in when adults are talking and always needs to be noticed. Such children irritate me, but are not labelled as anything but obnoxious.

W., I hear you loud and clear. And, i hear all the responses loud and clear. Pretty confusing isn't it? I read through all the responses and even after 12 years of being the coordinator and director of Special education for my school district, after 8 years with the Special Olympics and other SPED agencies and 4 years of private practice as a family wellness coach...I am confused.

Too many opinions, not enough answers.

W., here are the facts:
1. a teacher can not make a diagnosis. She can be "concerned" but it is up to you to seek the professionals to consider the diagnosis.
2. MDs will not ignore a diagnosis due to funding
3. Parents are not given enough info by the school systems to help them, it is up to the parent to seek the answers they are seeking.
4. Shyness is shyness.

Does he make eye contact with anyone?
Does he play nice with kids sometimes?
Does he engage in his favourite activities?

W., if you answered yes to any of these, consider the fact that he is a 5 year old boy.

I would recommend finding an Asperger/Autism support group near you and talk to other parents about their experiences. Hear it from the parents who live with the kids, not the teachers who are exhausted or the MDs who "read a chart".

W., if you need anything just ask.

B.
Family Success Coach

Your son sounds pretty normal for his age. I have a pretty shy son as well, and although your son's preschool teacher means well, she is not quallified to diagnose Autism, or any part of the spectrum. You went to the right place- inland regional, as they're whole focus is on autism. If they say he does not show signs of it, then he doesn't have it. He sounds shy- and that is okay. Everyone is different, and has different personalities- and to force people to fit into the "mold" that "everyone" is in- is not right. Embrace his personality, and encourage him to be himself. I applaud you for making him ask the girl himself for the pop corn- all too often manners are lost these days. Bravo mom- you sound like you are doing great!

Hi W.,

My daughter's preschool teacher of 2yrs had mentioned her concern to me about my daughter's social development and participation. At school she's extremely shy, rarely speaks to the teachers, plays only with 1 or 2 friends but at home she's very different. Her teacher was concerned this social anxiety would have a huge negative impact once she starts elementary school (Kindergarten this fall) and recommended I contact her home school district and have her evaluated. At the evaluation she met with a special ed teacher, speech therapists and psycologist and all 3 agreed that she had "SELECTIVE MUTUSIM" - extreme shyness in public. Is it possible your son may have something similiar, there are different degrees of it.
Can you have your son tested by the school district? Good luck

I think he just sounds shy. I wouldn't push him too much, let him develop confidence in his own time. Suggesting that he ask the girl is fine, but if he's too shy, then show him how to do it by asking yourself in a nice and confident way so he can see that it's okay and nothing bad will happen. I read somewhere to do the same thing about the word 'thank you'. Ask/tell them to say thank you every time, but don't push too much if they suddenly develop a shy moment, just thank the person yourself for your child and they will eventually follow your lead. Like so many things with children, it's all about leading by positive example.

Hi W.!

Not to go against the flow, but from what I hear, it's been tough to get a psychologist from regional center to give an autism diagnosis due to the budget cuts. In fact, you don't want an AS diagnosis, because it'll get you nothing in California! You have to have an Autism diagnosis--not AS or PDD-NOS.

Also, my daughter has Asperger's, but she presents very well at the psychologists' offices. She gave good eye contact with them and loved showing off how smart she was! The school district psychologist didn't see any issues at all in the office evaluation, but when she went to the school to observe, well, the autism diagnosis was pretty easy to get. For the Regional Center assessment, we brought along a DVD of my daughter at school. It helped sway that psychologist too, I'm sure.

Asperger's can present very differently as well, so it can be difficult to diagnose, and unlike what a PP wrote, Asperger's is autism. The only difference is when language is acquired.

I do see some aspects potentially of Asperger's such as being more comfortable speaking with adults and not interacting with kids his own age. Those are some flags. One question I had was whether the psychologist tested his IQ. Sometimes, kids with high IQs could have a really hard time relating to other kids and are more comfortable with other adults. A social skill class my daughter was in once had a profoundly gifted girl in it. She really didn't want to interact with the kids, just the teacher. That's just a thought.

The main thing is to listen to your own tuition as someone else posted! A mother knows!

C.
www.littlebitquirky.blogspot.com

Run, don't walk, to www.tacanow.org

A support group run by families of autism (and aspergers) for families of autism (and aspergers). Everything you could ever imagine about the answers to your questions and more.

Hi there.

I don't know much about aspergers and autism, but he sounds normal to me. I think you need a new teacher for him. Teachers should be way more responsible about putting labels on children, particularly when it sounds to me like he's totally fine. I have a 4 1/2 year old little boy and some of that really resonates.

Good luck.
-M

I am a day care provider for the last 19 years. Babysat a boy with Asbergers from infant. There are various degrees of Asbergers from High functioning to extreme cases. The boy I watched was pretty extreme. I also have a friend with two kids with Asbergers and both are high functioning. Your son does not sound at all like Asbergers. The extreme case, the boy was very sweet, but, not there. Smiled all the time but slow development, didn't talk. Talks now at 17 years old. He would lose it and throw major temper tantrums still does, can't control emotion. The two high functioning kids, have trouble with friends, angry at kids, yell at their Mom really loud, disrespectful to their Mom (again, can't control emotions). They appear typical until emotional stuff comes up. Have difficult time with school work. If he is reasonable and doesn't have melt downs, I would tend to agree with the Regional Center, who by the way diagnoses kids daily. He sounds extremely shy as is my daughter. Some personality traits they are born with. You can help him by talking about tattletaling and and and invite friends over for play dates. Some people have lots of friends and others have one or two really good friends. Hope this helps!

W.,

The thing with all autism spectrum disorders is this - all the kids look different. The only consistent theme is that they have trouble with communication (can look different in different kids - I know one who at 4 could read absolutely anything and say huge words but couldn't take part in a conversation), and have difficulty with social interaction.Other than that it really varies. My 6 year old has autism and I know plenty of kids with autism who are around his age and they are all a bit different in what they can and can't do. I don't know where you are at but if you are in Las Vegas, seriously consider contaction Dr. Cavanagh at Touro University Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities - she's a psychologist and she can help you figure it out. She's really, really good and so are their therapists. I can't recommend their social skills class enough...

Good luck,
T.

Your son sounds very much like me as a child. I was the quiet kid, perfectly content to play by myself. I HATED forced interaction of any kind, even a simple, "Say hello to so-and-so." Talking to adults was less confusing than talking to other kids - adults were pretty consistent in what they liked and didn't like, but kids were almost totally unpredictable - but I rarely, if ever, initiated the conversation. In first grade, after discovering that I was upset that I couldn't sit by my sister at lunchtime (she was in 5th grade), my teacher assigned two girls to sit with me, and play with me at recess. They were nice girls, but it was so uncomfortable that after 1 day I asked them to leave me by myself. Most kids hate walking into a room full of strangers, but I hated walking into a room where I knew people, because I feared that someone would approach me. I'd played with the 2 kids across the street since I was a toddler, but at school I only had one friend at a time until 5th grade. Then I had three, which felt like a crowd, even though I truly liked all of them. I never understood why adults would say things about events like, "There will be kids your age there." I wondered why in the world they thought being my age meant anything in terms of getting along. I never thought of it as being shy, really. Some people are just naturally more solitary and quiet than others.

Just so you know, when I was older, I joined the drama club, the debate club, the yearbook staff, my church youth group... all kinds of organizations. I had a lot of friends, and I'm still in touch with most of them 20 years later. As an adult, I belong to several organizations and clubs, but never enjoyed "mommy and me" groups. I still tend to be very solitary on a day - to - day basis, and I dislike large, crowded, noisy occasions and forced interaction, but I consider myself friendly and happy.

I wouldn't worry too much about putting a label on your son's behavior, or measuring him against other kids (even siblings). Just make sure that he's happy and able to make his own choices.