Ok Moms... Who Has Good Ideas?

Sometimes my husband and I wait till the kids are in bed and we get dressed up like we're going out somewhere nice. We have a nice dinner...or just nice cheese and crackers, and a little wine maybe, we dance and just talk. We aren't doing so much anymore, but I always enjoy those late night dates...and they don't require baby sitters or going out money.

This sounds pretty basic, but my husband looks forward to sitting with me in the evenings (most days, Monday through Friday) and watching certain TV shows that I've recorded.

Once we get home in the evenings, we don't answer the telephone (as much as we can avoid it). Even when we're in different rooms, we share energy. We feel connected.

On the weekends, we lie in bed for at least a few minutes after waking and just "hang out". We're both feeling refreshed, and the air is quiet. We talk and laugh....

We have an account at Blockbuster.com, so there are always movies to watch. We really enjoy that.

He recently suggested a tandem bicycle. We'll see about that one.

Well, My husband is a real snuggle bug so we take a little time in the morning before we get up and just snuggle. Other than that we set asside an official date night for just the two of us. We play games or watch movies(mostly movies). We cook dinner and fold the laundry together. Occasionally we get a babysitter and actually go out.
That's about it nothing too spectacular just any little moment that can be spared. A glance or a touch as we pass each other. Little things do count.

My husband and I go to eat every friday and have done so since we married almost 7 years ago. We try to keep it under $20 and its not too hard :) It is our "date night". We also rent movies through netflix and make sure we have at least 1 a week.(Usually on Friday or Saturday after our little one has gone to bed) Right before I got pregnant we started bowling after church. On Sundays from like 10-1 some places offer 1.50 games so you can bowl 3 games each for under $10 plus the cost of shoes. THAT IS FUN!!!! (if you like bowling and want to continue buy your own shoes at academy for $25 each - it will save you alot of money on rented shoes). I also started watching sports and UFC on TV a few years ago- at first for him- but now I think I enjoy it as much as he does! Its just fun to be together. I always am on the lookout for what he enjoys then I try to get into it too- I think he really appreciates that. I hope this helps!

First of all, here is a website that is great! There is one for husbands, too: http://www.the-generous-wife.com/
You can sign up and you'll get a daily tip for a way to be 'generous' to your husband.
I like to do little things for my husband that lets him know how much I LOVE him. Examples: sending cute and/or sexy text messages or emails, putting his favorite candy bar in his briefcase or car to find as a surprise, sending him cards at work, and even just making his favorite dessert. You want to feel valued and so does he!
Good luck!

We groom eachother. I cut his hair (braless) and he colors my hair (saves money and he is very good at it). Not all men would do this BUT they will go for showereing together. We shower together a few times a month. He scrubs my back and I scrub his. We also do yard work together. You have sons so they probably help Dad, but if you all get out there and pitch in it makes the family closer. We email each other at work - not everyday but every now and then. We rent a payperview movie and watch it together on the weekend. We have morning coffee together and go out for breakfast on Saturday morning. We walk the dog together everyday. We shop for food together AND cook together. He gets upset with me IF I don't want to go to Home Depot or Lowes with him. Staying close and working together is the key. With out being demanding or judgemental, tell your partner what you need from them - If they love you they will respond. Growing apart happens in most marriages while you are busy raising a family. You have to keep building a future together.

About us: We have both been in failed past relationships and know that love remains when you each put the others needs first. Communication is key. We have been together for almost 18 years now and we finially got it right.

Hi I.,

My husband and I try to have a date day every other week and have a sitter for the kids on Sunday afternoon. Then we go browse antique stores, or go for a walk in the park, or see a movie, or go bowling, then go out to dinner, sometimes just the two of us, and sometimes with our boys. Another thing we do together is to pass the Frisbee in the yard, or sometimes play catch. It's amazing to me how much my husband will talk when we're doing something like that, as opposed to when we're just in the house. Sometimes we meet for a lunch date. We also like to play Yahtzee or Backgammon after the kids are in bed. A few hours a month focusing on your relationship really makes a difference!

HTH, H.

where's the new drive inn? that sounds fun!

We rent movies from the library, they are free! we go out to eat and order one meal to share and an extra side or salad, and drink water for a cheap dinner date! we go for walks in the city around the subdivision, and in the country (he has a ranch that we visit). we eat or sip homemade smoothies on the back porch and watch the birds, we have a feeder, birdbath and hummingbird feeder,(lots of activity). We play a game called "mexican train" they sell it at Walmart it is a version of dominoes but more fun! We go to the local park, and wildlife preserves and walk around and watch the wildlife! My favorite is : we have a two person hammock on the back porch at the ranch, this is how we fell in love, we would lay in the hammock and his arm around me, I would lay on his shoulder and we pull a rope that swings the hammock and talk about our dreams, and aspirations for the future! I live in Boerne, and they have free concerts, movies in the park, and Boerne market days at the square on Main st. That's always fun! We attend church together and serve as greeters, etc. Worshiping God together will always bring you closer! hope some of these help!

I also have a 16 year old and, although I hate to admit it, the highlight of our evening nowadays is seeing who can beat who on the Playstation. (Tetris is best and the boy usually wins.)
I'm 54 and before my husband lost interest in me and the family (he's 9 years younger than I am) we used to go camping, fishing, picknicking, gardened together and all kinds of outdoor stuff with great fun.
I'm living with a man that's in a mid-life crisis and it sounds like you're beginning one.
Find a common point of interest NOW and follow through!

All of my prayers are with you and your family.

My husband and I have 2 small children. So leaving is rarely an option. So, our favorite thing to do at night is have a little dessert picnic in our room with candles all around. We like to rent movies too, so instead of just sitting there and watching it, give eachother back rubs and go all out. Get some massage oil and act like you know what your doing. We love to sit out on the front porch at night and just talk. We try to think of questions to ask eachother. Maybe ways you could meet eachother's needs better. It's a great way to get things out that you'd like eachother to do without causing a fight. Tell eachother your favorite things about eachother. I think you can make anything fun when you do it together. My husband and I have fun just cleaning up the mess from dinner and the kids toys. But since you can get away, having older kids, go on dates! Go to a coffee shop, go on walks, find a beautiful park and enjoy the view together. Well, I really hope this helps you get some ideas! That is so wonderful that you are making the effort to spend more time with your husband. God will definitely bless that! You will have some wonderful times together. Let us know what you do!

A couple of people suggested massage. We bought a massage table off of craigslist and it is a great way to spend time together. We take turns on it so u get the closeness and the kinks out of your back!

Take a Sunday Drive together, go to church together, or even go grocery shopping together

You yourself seem to have some great ideas. Sometimes it's just a matter of putting it into effect. Plan a day to have a BBQ with the two of you and your kids. Something my husband and I do, bc we also don't have a lot of time together, is sitting next to each other while we watch TV or a movie, sometimes he'll wash dishes while I cook and we'll talk while we do it. Not exciting but our son may be playing or watching TV so it gives us a few minutes to talk with each other. You still need to try and get in a date night as well which my husband and I are trying to work in. It could even be dinner at home and the kids stay the night with grandma or a neighbor. You may even have to be the one to initiate it but if your husband is anything like mine if I say I want to have a BBQ on Saturday or shower together then he's all for it. I've noticed that my husband doesn't always have ideas to solve it but will mention not getting to spend alot of time with me or in the past few days so I'll throw something out there that we can do. Even if it's not right then we'll decide something to do on a certain day and then set aside time to do it even if just for an hour or so. And FLIRT with each other. It really helps even if you're exhausted throw in there how HOT he is. My husband loves it when I do that and he does the same for me. Then if we don't get our extra time right then together then we still make each other feel good and keeps our relationship fresh...well about as fresh as we can get it. LOL Either way be the initiator and maybe even set a date. Tell your husband, "On Friday night I want to go see a movie. I'll set up a babysitter so put it on your calender." Most likely he's not going to fight it. Have FUN And good luck.

One of my favorite ways to spend time with my husband is when we cook together. We tinker around the kitchen together, taste testing and improving on dinner. We chat about what the kids and I did during the day or what he did up on base. Normally the kids aren't helping, so if you're looking for some "close time" then this is great for us. We create a play list on the computer and just enjoy the music and our time together while cooking.

We also like to take walks together (When we're able to, since we have 3 munchkins), snuggling and watching a movie, we're goofs and love watching quiz hows together and seeing who can get more correct answers. We like shopping together for things for the house and things for our kids. We both love concerts and going out to dinner. I would HIGHLY recommend going to a water park together or maybe an amusement park and get back to how things were when you two first became an "us". Just have fun and enjoy one another again. It's good for the soul not to be so grownup ALL the time ;)

I wish you well, good luck and God bless!

My husband and I will find something on TV that we both like to watch, but we tape it. We can watch it without kids and have our own time together. For us it is Lost, American Idol and Galactica. My husband will not watch anything else that I watch so when we find something we both like we make it our time after kids are in bed.

C.

My husband and I love to go to the Alamo Draft House for movies. We try to do that at least once a month. We also love to read so some times we will go to half price books and get a book and then go to a coffee house and just sit together and drink coffee and read and talk.
Do you like wine or beer? If you have care for your six year old, Plan a day trip to Fredricksburg. We went to Becker vineyards and got to sample tons of wine. They also have a brewery on the main street and you can order a sampler of all the different brews and try them out. My husband and I did that last February and it was way too much fun. Good Luck!

Do you a grandparent who can keep the kids overnight? If so, and you live close to a beach, look up the county or state parks, alot of them have air condition cabins and stay one night. I am not much of a beach person, but I would like to do that and it is only 30 min. from our house. What I am getting at you do not have to travel far to have the same fun. We have even driven to the big city and vacation once with our family, that was 1 hr away. We even one time went to a dollar threater and saw 3 movies and we had a ball.

My husband and I make it a habit to have a "date" at least 1x per month and usually try for two or three... These usually consist of Dinner and a movie, but when we are low on funds any thing that gets us together and away from the kids works, even if it's just a drive around town.

Also, after the kids are in bed, we sometimes cuddle on the couch and watch a movie, or we will play WOW (World of Warcraft) together. Or we will discuss books.

When he is on tour (he is in the military) and comes home on his mid-tour leave) we give the kids to his family for a night and we go to a hotel for an evening to ourselves.

I know...for the most part not too imaginative, but...we do look for ways to spend together just the two of us in the middle of a "five of us" lifestyle... ;-)

What r some things u two used to do b4 kids or while dating. Try doing that again. Sometimes it takes a while to really shake your mommy/daddy mode. It may take a few dates to get back to those days.

Go to church together and make sunday family day, movies, cooking, etc. It will change your life...

Hi I., Some simple free ideas are take a day where you have time to fix your husband his favorite dinner or meal--while cooking turn on some happy music that makes you feel good-not sexy, just happy to be in the kitchen. Either before or after dinner, give him a good back-neck-shoulder rub, perhaps feet as well. They get sore and tired too. Talk about yours and his dreams and life. Get silly once in a while, like when you were kids, play in the yard, or park, laugh alot. Find a project you can work on together--where you help each other. Take time to ask about things that interest him, and listen--you would be amazed at what you can learn, or remember the dating days . Plan and have a treasure hunt in the house or yard--make clues or a map and hide little things. (like Easter for the kids, but trinkets of love or memories for ya'll) Just a few ideas, hope they help. Best wishes.

my hubby and i give each other footrubs and chat. we also play a game where one of us chooses a long word, e.g. "consternation" and see how many words each of us can make out of that word in 3 minutes.

my husband i and go riding bikes as much as we can. exploring new sites is always uplifting and its an excellent way to bond and get some excercise in! Take pictures together of your kids or just anything, be creative together....re decorate a new room together. There are a lot of simple things you can do......but over all the best thing is to be physically active together.

That will make you both feel sexier and naturally happier. Thats the magic of exercise!

Best to you.

saturday nights is normally when me and my husband have our time together.we go and eat dinner,then sometimes we go to a neighborhood bar and hang out or go catch a movie.when we dont feel like going out we go have dinner,rent a movie and just relax at the house.sometimes also when we are home we make margaritas,and just listen to the music on our computer.

Hi I.,

I am looking forward to reading all of the comments that you receive. I think we have a great activity -- and perhaps one that is somewhat unique.

My husband READS to me while I cook dinner or while we drive on trips. This way we BOTH get to enjoy the same book, article, or whatever. We have a couple of "simple" ground rules. (1) We agree on the material he will read to us (we have mainly read best-seller novels and "classic literature" - sometimes reading the books that have inspired our favorite movies); and, (2) this is an important rule: I don't interrupt him in the middle of a passage, because he really gets "into" the reading. My role is to be a "good listener" (which is NOT HARD, when I get the benefit of him reading to me while I cook! lol) He likes to read out loud and I LOVE to listen to him because he "reads with feeling" - putting in all of the appropriate inflection, accents, voices, etc.. It takes a lot of his energy to real aloud this way, but I find "ways" to show him my affection for his efforts! Perhaps this would entice your hubbie to try it. It's twice the fun to read this way. We also get the added enjoyment of discussing the material, when we are between readings!

Obviously, he has developed the ability to read aloud very well - but I think anyone who has a little bit of actor or actress inside could develop this ability. So for all of you out there who are completely bored with TV, there is a world of good literature awaiting discovery. Either wife or husband who wants to try your hand at reading to your spouse, I heartily recommend the experience. [And, although we do not have kids at home, I think this would be a great family activity at least once a week. If you start anything when the kids are young, they come to love and appreciate these "traditions." The material could change over time as the children grow older and more mature.]

We also go to (or "do") Bible study together at least one night a week. Right now, we go to one study held at a church on Wednesdays; and during the "school year" we also participate in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) which is non-denominational and is available in cities all across the USA and worldwide. We attend separate BSF classes: he goes to a men's class and I attend a women's class. Then, throughout the week, we read the BSF-provided lesson and the appropriate Bible passages together (he also reads the Bible passages out loud, and this really brings scripture to life!) There are questions (i.e. like homework) that every BSF member prepares for their weekly study group, and we answer those SEPARATELY, so that later we can compare our insights into scripture. We also discuss the lecture that each of us receives in our BSF class. Although BSF groups worldwide are on the same schedule (so you can attend in another city, when you are "on travel" for work or vacation) my husband's lecture is frequently very different from mine, so that gives us added insight to hear what each other's group's discussed and heard in lecture. Check the BSF website for a class near you at www.bsfinternational.org. BSF also offers a children's program for school-age kids (6 yrs. -17 yrs.) at the same time period as adult evening classes. There is a preschool offering (ages 2-5) during the women's daytime classes.

May God bless you marriage and keep it fresh and growing!

In Christ,
K.

I leave silly note to him on post its. We instant message when he is at work. We have a date night every week. Our DD is 3 and we don't have a sitter or family near by, so we put her to bed then have our date. It can be a rented movie, a mock Jimmy Buffett concert (We put in a concert on DVD, hula skirts, cheeseburgers and margaritas, and dance together) or a candle lite bath together. We also just grab time when we can. We don't always force DD to eat dinner with us. Sometimes she gets a movie in the other room with her child friendly meal and we eat our adult meal in peace. Thankfully, she likes her alone time too. We go on walks with DD riding her bike. We can hold hands and she has a blast on her bike. Little things like that every day. Easy and cheap is best for us.

When was the last time you two had just a romantic date together? Ifyour sixteen is responsable or maybe a friend can take them to a movie or game room for a few hours...you can not only spend a few quite and quality time together, it would be a nice and different surprise.
Cook a dinner for two.. nothig fancy or expesive, some thing simple, but you use candles, soft music,and wine(if you drink a little) table set for just the two of you.

And you can also take a drive to a remote area over looking a really nice view and watch the sun set and just cuddle, no words...just remembering what brought you two together.

I do this wiyh my spouse at least every other month just to recapture what we always want to hold on to...each other, we have been together for 22yrs. and still happy. I hope this helps you.
Mz. Ladytaz

My husband and I usually rent a movie together. But, we have also gone to watch a local soccer game (over by the rock quarry) - it's free and we both thoroughly enjoyed it. We didn't know anyone and could sit and talk since we weren't really caught up in the game. But we watched the game at the same time. We both said we would make that part of our choices from now on. Take a chair or blanket! Sometimes, we will go in the backyard and sit and talk after the kids have gone to bed. That's nice. When we can afford it - we go out to eat and/or a movie. For vacation - we usually take the kids camping. But, I would actually like to go by ourselves. We haven't done that since we have had kids. It forces you to just sit and relax together. The other day I felt we hadn't spent anytime together. My MIL watched the kids so we could get ready for a week of camping. I asked my husband to spend the day running around with me instead of splitting things up. We knew it would take longer - but we enjoyed the car rides. In times past, we would drive out to Fredericksburg and go window shopping/out to eat together for an afternoon (shops close by 6). You can include Boerne and Wimberly in that. They also have the traveling markets on certain weekends. That's always fun - but hard temptation if you don't have any money. Sometimes, instead of playing a game (trivial pursuit and information games that have questions), I will just read the cards and see if we can figure out the answer, and then read the answer. It sparks conversation about certain topics that you wouldn't just come up with out of the blue and sometimes it is just funny and other times it is just interesting. It only takes a few minutes.

My husband and I went through something similar. We spend so much of our non-working time with the kids and taking care of the house, that we were never spending anytime together. We decided to have a weekly date night. Usually a Friday or Saturday night. We don't go out usually, because we don't want to spend the money every week. We enjoy drinking wine, so we usually buy a few special snacks/treats, our wine and ourselves. The boys are in bed, and then we hang out in our bedroom, maybe watching a movie or just talking to each other. It's relaxing, and romantic and lets you get connected again with each other. That was something we truly needed. Both of us really look forward to those nights. We know that our date nights are all about us for a change.
Another fun thing we used to do was go bowling, usually with another couple. We would have a blast!

When my husband is not deployed we watch tv together, play board and card games with the tv off and music on, play a multipal player games on the computer together, go explore the a new cave (its nice and cool down there and we get a little exercise!), go camping... (Canyon lake has a nice one called Potter's Creek). We try to have a date night at least once a month. If you are low on funds then make a romantic dinner for 2 by candle light, then turn on some soft music and dance in the living room.

We go to anything free in our area. We have free movies in the park on Tuesday nights, free concerts in the park Thursday nights, a local pub has free concerts outdoors on Sunday nights, our library has free music on Wednesday nights. Then we have a couple of festivals during the summer. Go to a public swimming pool. Ours has family night on Thursdays from 7 - 10 or something - that's not free, but it's cheap. We cycle together sometimes to local places. Check out what there is going on in your area. You probably have an outdoor theatre near you. Go to a park. Humm, that's all for now. I hope that helps!!

I'm a mother of 3 w/ one on the way. So we stay pretty busy with the kids. But My husband and I stay "connected" with watching shows on tv that interest both of us. I must admit at times there are things I don't want to watch; but I've learned to love the things he likes. Have you ever played PHASE 10? Its a card game that honestly takes an hour to play and it's time for you to sit and chat. We also got into suduko. I buy books at the dollar store that we can both do. As cheesy as this sounds, we race to see who can finish it faster.... Just little things like that. We also just rent movies and watch them together.

We bought a Harley and biking has become OUR passion and hobby. It gives us great bonding time and we've met some very good friends who share a love for motorcycles. We go to rallies, long rides, short rides, doesn't matter, we do it together. It has really brought us closer.

We have another couple friend who did the same thing, they were actually separating, planning to divorce but b/c of kids they were hesitant. He bought a bike and she fell in love with it, now they are working their marriage out and sharing a common interest.

Hi I.,
Have you ever heard of a book called "The Five Love Languages." Its an incredible book that takes you through a journey on how to learn your partners love language. It would be great for the both of you. In addition, perhaps you and your husband can talk about trying different activities and setting up dates with each other. I know this may sound strange, but my boyfriend and I like to go wash our cars together and we turn up our music real loud and just have a good old time. We are middle aged adults and have a blast doing this. Our music is simple, nothing that would drive anyone away (at least we have not had any complaints). We also like to play Frank Sinatra in the car while on our way to dinner and just sing along with it. I get tickled because when "Frankie" sings, I know my boyfriend is thinking of me. On the other hand, I am fantasizing that I am on "Dancing With The Stars." Does your husband like to dance? I have been begging my boyfriend to take ball room dancing with me. I can tell he thinks about it, but then he acts the "macho" role immediately after I mention it. I think it's kind of humorous. More importantly, words of affirmation are a must for the both of you. Here is a web site on the book. Blessings to the both of you and be encouraged, there is fun and lots of love on the way!!! http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/ p.s. We do BQ alot and it's a wonderful time. Perhaps you should fire up the grill and surprise him.

Hi I.!
How Fun!
I think Anything you do together will make your relationship stronger!
First, you have a 16 yr old son whom you can "hire" to help you babysit your 6 yr old. :o)
Have a "meeting" with your son and compare schedules to find out which days/nights he has available to stay home with his younger brother, while You and your Husband go out. If he's never babysat for you guys, start out with shorter times and gradually work on more time out.
Ideas for you and your Husband:
meeting for lunch
picnic/walks through the park
taking walks around the neighborhood, together (just the two of you)...this is fun for the entire family but you should try and just have "Husband/Wife" time and not "Mommy/Daddy" time. If this looks like something your children would like to be involved in, split the time...half an hour with just You and your Husband then go back and pick the children up for the other half hour.
I know it's hard NOT to involve our children in everything we do because THEY are why we are here, but it is VERY important to get as much "alone" time as possible to reconnect as Husband and Wife.

Is there anyplace where you guys can go and just have a glass of wine and talk? For example, in Gruene, there is a winery called "Grapevine" that sells wine by the glass and my Husband and I go there and sit on their front porch and have a glass of wine and talk...these days, with the many activities our children are involved in, we don't even have time to just sit and talk, so we go there to unwind and just talk. It's a great way to reconnect. Communication is KEY!

Have Fun!!
D.

My husband and I drink our coffee together every morning. I know it sounds trivial, but that is our time. Yes, our sons are around, but just starting the day like that is a real blessing for me. We also have a short devotional together. None of this costs anything! When we do go out, which seems like once in a blue moon, we get "dressed up" and go to a restaurant downtown at one of the hotels. He also likes to buy me sexy nighties...so when the boys are in bed, the rest of the night is ours. I guess we make time for us to be together. Best wishes!

My husband and I try to have a date night at least once a week. Sometimes we stay home, put on a movie for dd and just sit on the back porch in the rocker and talk. We go bowling or play putt-putt on weeknights when it's not crowded. He's a cop, so I go to the range with him and dd can't go yet, so that turns into several hours of just the 2 of us.

I can relate to the "not having time, or just to busy with kids" lines, and they are hard ones to break, but one thing that my husband and I have created to give us more time, is we have scheduled a date night or day into our weekly agenda. I know that it sounds corny but that is what we have had to do since he is in the army, and never knows when things come up. Date night or date day, doesnt have to require money, lord knows that we dont have a bunch. One thing that we have done in the past that we learned from a marriage retreat is to create a "FLOOR", (piece of paper, even a carpet square) that when you guys want to sit down and have a conversation about serious things, the person in posession of the floor is the speaker and the other person is the listener(and repeats back to the speaker things, so that htey know, they are being listened to). Then when their turn is over, pass the floor. By setting time alone with your husband will turn things around greatly. Even going to the coffee house or a small restaraunt for a small bite and drink is a way to get time alone. Go for a hike to a canyon or park, and become a kid again by swinging or sliding the slide, or just putting your feet in the sand to relax. Spending time with your spouse doesnt require money, just time and patience. Take it from me who has 2 kids under the age of 6, and a husband that has served 2 tours in iraq, in 3 yrs, and believe me, that there are things to do without relying on funds, and if your older son would watch the younger one, that can even help out as well. Take them to the movies, and then go to a place near by so that driving isnt an issue and relax. I convinced my husband to go with my to get a pedicure this weekend, and he enjoyed the time we shared in soemthing that I enjoy, which makes our relationship stronger. Try these things on for size and see what happens. Good luck. Mel

When we've been short on money, we hit Sonic for an hour or so and drink a tasty drink and chat. Simple, cheap, and for some reason it's easy to talk in the car!

I have been in your shoes and am still there occasionally. We take the kids on hikes. We go to the movies, to eat even if its Mc Donalds. We definately make it a point to go out of town together without the kids. I felt bad the first time i did but the bond between me and him grew. I have great friends who understand and are in the same situation as i. So we kind of trade off. It evens out, we dont pay each other since we are doing each other favors and i get to spend time with my man. The kids they dont mind because my friends have kids so they have a blast. Try it you will love it.....

I., We like to turn off the TV, put on a pot of coffee, or make ice tea, and just sit and talk.
Sometimes we drive to the beach and just walk along it.
We also enjoy playing RummyKube or Trivia. We have a game on the computer call Trivia, and sometimes we play it together.
We occassionally drive to the mall and just browse in the bookstore, have coffee at Books A Million, and watch people.
Any of these ideas sound good ? Hope I've been helpful.

Best wishes, R.

Debi you're not nuts! My husband and I shower together too... not all the time, but as often as we can. Now you're going to think I'M nuts... we also sleep naked together. It puts us both vulnerable and creates a closeness... as well as a much more frequent sex life.

We don't have any family in town, and not a lot of money to hire babysitters, so we have a ritual called Red Wine Night. We purchase an inexpensive bottle of red wine, put the kids to bed, and drink it while either playing a game (if you're looking for bedroom action, try the game Dirty Minds), watching a movie, or eating a picnic dinner in front of the fire.

This may sound funny, but one of the things that my husband and I do together that has benefitted our relationship,( the kids can even join), is gardening. Not like the back breaking kind, to grow crops, but just a couple of six packs here and there. You can shop for them together, and it is not expensive, and you can pick them up at wal-mart even!! To see them grow and bloom, is kind of exciting. There are so many flowers out there, and types of plants that are easy to grow. So, if all else fails, you will have tried something new, and have a pretty yard. I love to get outside, but I have an 11 year old, 5, and 4 year old, and a live in nephew who is 11, so housecleaning is demanding, and tiring. When my husband is off plants are sort of our thing together. We used to love going to the zoo, and historical museums together in Ft. Worth, if your like that sort of thing. Sounds like you have some neat ideas.

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Hi I.,

Ok this is going to sound NUTS.. so that out of the way let me tell you my so far so good marriage secret.. :P My Husband and I take a shower together every night or morning.. thats it.. lol! that is the time we have each others undivided attention, no kids, no phone, t.v, nothing but us.

My sister and brother in law were having closeness issues and I told her the same thing, she went to her husband and said ok.. we dont have much time for talkin, and we both bathe daily LOL.. so we have to make a pact to bathe together. at first it seems odd to them, but after a couple days she told me they were talking about themselves to each other again! go figure.. not the kids or school or whats for dinner.. but how ya doing kind of things.. Its something no person can say we dont have time for that!

My husband and I have remained best friends because of this ritual through our 19 and 16 year old kids drama and needs, the dogs, the bills everything else. It always brings a good calming to the day, our time to center if you will. Its always a good place for that needed shoulder rub too!
Once you learn to depend on your daily time together with each other again, other things will fall into place, and the Looking for activities may not matter so much, because remember its not the things you do with your time, but the times that take your breath away that matter!
Good luck refinding your best friend and lover!

I just wanted to let you know that your email resonated with me and that you are NOT alone. Right after your email there was another one on the Mmamsource page, and it wasn't mine! I, as well as others, can empathize with you. I will be anxious to see what kind of responses you get as it will apply to me as well. I too used to play Yahtzee in bed with my hubby, years ago, before children. Best of Luck! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

There is tons of things to do. I am a mother of 3. I have been married for 3 years now. We go to baseball games a lot. He enjoys it and it's really not that bad. There is always free night outs for the kids. we go to Discovery Green. If you go to Bounce N play and Jumpin Jack on 1960 & 45 during the week its only $5 play. Hope this helps

Hey I.,

I forgot to tell you that sometimes my hubbie and I go to dinner and then go to a local pub/sports bar to watch Kareoke (I love it it cracks me up to see some of the people go up there and sing)! Anyway, it is fun to us to just sit, relax, drink some beer and watch people make fools out of themselves! Ha, Ha :o) Remember, it will get better!