Nursing Strike - Waltham, MA

Updated on November 16, 2009
K.L. asks from Waltham, MA
15 answers

My now 8 week old daughter is either refusing to nurse, or nursing a few minutes before coming off crying. When I try to put her to breast she gets a very frantic look on her face and starts flailing her arms and legs and then will cry. I spoke to an LC this morning and she said that my daughter is likely having a nursing strike. We recently went on a 10 hour car ride where I fed her pumped breastmilk for 3 bottles on the two travel days and that is when this all started. I have been told to avoid the bottle, do lots of skin to skin today and let her nurse as she wants. also, no pacifiers until she is back to breastfeeding. Has anyone else had this happen? Were you able to get the baby to breastfeed again? If so, how long did it take and how what strategies did you use? this is so discouraging as she has always been a great nurser and I am worried about losing my milk supply. I have been pumping as much as I can after she feeds.

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So What Happened?

I have been waiting to do this part because I wanted to make sure things were going well again! It has been a tough week, but since I talked to the LC (lactation consultant) last Thursday, things have slowly been improving. I stopped giving her any pacifiers and of course bottles as of Thursday and allowed her to nurse whenever she wanted. At first she didn't want to nurse at all and I had to syringe feed her a few times, but she slowly started taking the breast. Whenever she started crying or getting upset at the breast I immediately pulled her away. I tried to play soothing music or sing to her. Amazingly enough, when we were cleaning on Saturday and the vacuum was running it calmed her down and she started feeding. Same thing happened Saturday night when she was really upset and the hairdryer calmed her down. Yesterday, since I had been in the house for 3 days at that point we decided to go to church and that was the first feed that she felt almost back to normal. I'm not sure if getting her out again helped, but it seemed too! I also found that if she was swaddled and sleepy, she tended to do a better job with feeding. I think we have definitely rounded the corner with her now. She's not feeding quite as long as she used to, but I also think she might be getting more efficient. I'm so thankful to be back to breastfeeding again! We are traveling (just her and I are flying) in 2 weeks so she can go meet my family out of state, and I will give her 1 bottle on each travel day, so hopefully that will be ok! We are also flying this weekend, but as my husband will be with me I am going to attempt the breastfeeding on the plane. I am going to do my best to keep her on her schedule this weekend as I can't do another one of these weeks again. Thanks everyone for your advice as I took a little bit of what everyone said and it worked. It was also nice to know that others experienced this and survived it!

More Answers

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J.D.

answers from Boston on

i would just stay home the next few days, keep her very close to you (in a sling if possible) and try to just nurse her as much as possible (like every 10 mins to half an hour) until she is back on track. Stay on the couch and keep her at your breast for most of the day if you can. Also call your local la leche league leader (on their website).
You know whenever I go on car rides I nurse my baby (with my seatbelt on and her strapped in her carseat) by leaning over the seat and pulling the seat toward me. I sometimes sit on one foot. Obviously my husband drives. This is the only way I have ever gone anywhere even remotely far (40 mins). I have never used a pump, a pacifier, or a bottle and I have three children. I nursed all long term (4+ years!). Perhaps you should get rid of those things. It sounds as though they may have complicated a fine breastfeeding relationship.

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R.T.

answers from Boston on

Maybe it's something you're eating passing through in the milk, and she doesn't like the taste?
My daughter went on a nursing strike after I used bottles that had faster flow than I did, so avoiding bottles might be a good bet.

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P.N.

answers from Boston on

My DD had a nursing strike tho she was older than yours. I know how stressful it is! Please try to stay calm as stress will only exacerbate the situation. I second the suggestion to call a local LLL leader. They are so helpful. Also check out the kellymom link. Her info on nursing strikes and reluctant nursers may be helpful. That is a wonderful site for all things nursing.

Here are some general nursing strike recs: give the baby more attention, increase skin-skin, try to nurse when she is asleep or drowsy, try different positions, try nursing while walking or rocking.

You will need to express milk as long as she is not nursing as much as before so you don't become uncomfortable. Also she may be frustrated by having to suck for nothing and then become overwhelmed by the rush of milk, so expressing a little before putting her to the breast may be helpful. You may want to try to give her milk from a cup rather than the bottle, until she gets back to nursing so she doesn't become more used to the easiness of bottle sucking. She will have a need to suck, which won't be satisfied by the cup and then may be more motivated to get back to the breast.

Don't worry about your supply. It is a supply/demand thing so even if supply dips when the demand increases it will get back to meet the demand.

Try to concentrate on what you can do right now, today. Don't get ahead of yourself. There is no reason to think you won't get back to having a great nurser. If you let yourself get too far ahead with the what-ifs it will make it much more difficult. Nursing strikes often last 2-4 days from what I've read. Call your local LLL leader, she will help you.

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L.D.

answers from Boston on

have you contacted a Le Leche Leauge Leader? go to thier website:http://www.llli.org/ to find a local leader to talk to. Also http://askdrsears website is very helpful and there is a toll free help line for breastfeeding support on there too. I can tell you my infant was a very difficult newborn! She was extremely colicky and fussed a lot during nursing. I learned to nurse her in very specific ways, and I learned to carry and nurse her in a sling. She may be very gassy, or have acid reflux at this age as well, another reason to try nursing in a sling or elevated. Make sure you are eliminating gassy foods from your diet. I've been there! I can tell you that it will pass, have patience and try not to get frustrated! get in contact with a le leche league leader for the best advice. good luck!

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L.G.

answers from Boston on

I didn't experience this issue with my daughter but I wanted to share a breastfeeding board that I visit that has tons of knowledageble ladies who I am sure will have lots of advice if you are interested:

http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f30-breastfeeding/

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

K., when an eight week old baby stops nursing I seriously doubt that it is due to any sort of stubborness.
It is much more likely that nursing is causing her pain for some reason.
The most common cause is teething ( possible but not likely at eight weeks) or fluid in her ears. Much more likely this is the cause.
What is an LC?
Take baby to her pediatrician and tell him/her what is going on....have the baby's ears checked. It is very painful for them to nurse when fluid is present.
She could be coming down with a cold, or has already suffered some small allergy ( spring and all) that caused fluids to accummulate.
Another common possiblitiy is that you ate something that makes your milk distasteful to her. Have you eaten anything out of the norm in past few days? Think of what you have ingested lately. Hot dogs, cauliflower type veggies, any spicey thing, beans...many foods can be the source of what baby thinks is yukky tasting milk.
It is much easier for a baby to suck a bottle than to suck a breast...breast milk is a lot of work for them. I nursed seven from 2 to 3 years. I always made sure they would take milk from a bottle in the rare instances when I had to leave them with someone and pump. Some babies would prefer nursing on the much easier bottle.
Again, it is NOT right that an 8 week old refuses to nurse and would have little to do with any personality or characteristics such as stubborness.
Something is amiss here and you need to find out what.
Best wishes and GOd bless
Grandmother Lowell

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H.Z.

answers from Boston on

Did you change your diet at all while you were gone? It almost sounds like she doesn't like the taste anymore. I nursed all three of my boys until 11, 10, and 12 months respectively. I do believe that kids go through spurts, I also don't believe you will lose your supply. I even nursed during my 2nd pregnancy, although was told by many that my 1st would no longer like the taste since apparently it changes (did not affect him at all!) After I weaned my last one I was still lactating for weeks afterwards. It sounds like you are doing everything right! Stop stressing and just try and enjoy the time you spend together during this "power struggle", I am sure it is the first of many ;o)!!

Happy SAHM (5 1/2, 4 1/2 and 22 month old boys)

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H.B.

answers from Boston on

Oh how lucky you are to be traveling! If you can, offer to feed on takeoff and landing. I recently traveled with my nearly 2 y/o and was surprised that he didn't cry about the ear pressure. I also let him nurse, which probably helped. To me, in the early days, pumping was a big effort that put my body out of whack, messed with the sync of nursing, but that's just me. If you don't have one already, just get a good nursing cover. $30 new. Let your little love nurse when she wants to and try to be patient. A handy computer, phone or iPod is key :D.

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M.C.

answers from Burlington on

K.,

I have a 5 month old who began to do the same thing around 3.5 months - we made it through without supplementing with formula, and her dad continued to give her 1 bottle of breastmilk a day. Our baby relaxed only when I relaxed, and it took me a good 6 weeks to really work deep yogic breathing to my advantage while nursing. We've been absolutely fine now. Find an effective relaxation method for yourself, and I bet your baby will relax.

M.

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M.R.

answers from Boston on

Hi K.. My babies went the other way and refused bottles so I just wanted to say good luck and stick with it. She'll get it again. I do remember worrying about my supply with my twin girls (first babies) but don't worry it is supply and demand you're doing all the right things. Good luck and enjoy your baby. My girls were/are very stubborn (now almost 3) but they keep life interesting!

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H.S.

answers from Boston on

My daughter "quit" nursing out of the blue for about 24 hours. It was the longest day in my life, and I don't remember anything that could have set her off ,with the exception of me eating the wrong food, or her fighting a stomach bug, or her being stubborn or her not liking the sounds/lights/smells .... I think you get the idea. I think she was a bit older, maybe 4 months, but it really scared me.
Try to stay calm, this is not about you, or you being a bad mother, or a bad "milk cow", it's just something she has to figure out. Don't use any bottles, even if you are tempted.

good luck! H.

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M.Y.

answers from Boston on

My daughter (now 8 months) went through something similar at about the same age. Our family took a day trip to Boston immediatly followed by a weekend in Maine.To make it easier for myself while we were been driving we gave her pumped milk from a bottle whenever we were in the car. When we got home we attempted to go back to our normal schedule to no avail, she screamed and scrunched up and acted like she was in pain. I had a great lactation team at the hospital she was born at (Exeter NH) and I immediatly called them to find out what might be wrong. They had me bring her in so they could observe her eating. We came to the conclusion that she didn't like how slow it was and how much work it was to breast feed anymore. We did NOT give up though, they gave me a tube to insert one end into a bottle of breast milk and tape one end to my breast so that it was in her mouth while she was feeding, then she got milk from me and from the tube at the same time, this allowed her her faster flow and the closeness of the breast that we both wanted. We would do this for 1-2 ounces on each side for a couple days and she was back to eating like normal in no time. I hope this or something else helps, I breast fed my daughter for the 1st 6 months of her life and would have continued to do so if I hadn't gotten really sick and lost my supply but those months were the happiest of my life! Best of luck! -M.

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X.D.

answers from Boston on

No easy answers here.... Sounds like she prefers being lazy with the bottle now. You're on the right track and as long as she is taking nourishment and wetting her diapers, it's a matter of which one of you is more determined to succeed! Take care. Things will work out as long as you both remain healthy!

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A.H.

answers from Boston on

I'm not sure where you live -- but the Winchester Hospital Lactation Center is so helpful. It was a lifesaver for me. I'd suggest giving them a call and talking with Janice. As far as the bottle goes - if you go to kellymom (http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bottle-feeding.html) this might help. It essentially suggests if you need to do a bottle you should hold it at a level point and that requires them to suck to get the milk.

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L.O.

answers from Boston on

When my daughter was about 8 weeks old she went on the opposite strike - would not take bottles and only breastfeed. Just like you, it was after we had taken a trip (actually vacation). It was difficult because I ended up taking an extra month maternity leave because it was so difficult and taking a long time working with her. I think it took about 2 months to finally get her back. The best tricks I had were letting her start to drink with what she wanted - in my case the breast - and then when she had been drinking for awhile, especially if she was getting sleepy - I'd do the one-two quick switcheroo. I also would coat both the bottles and my breast with Lansinoh so that she got the same initial sensation and taste either way. You might have more luck going from bottle to breast than I did the other way around. Good luck - I think you may find in the future, if your child is like mine, that she has an amazing amount of self-control and stubborness and won't give in easily - LOL! It can serve them well in the future, but it's tough on us parents.

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