First, I know a lot of people may turn their noses up at this suggestion, but, have you thought about renting a mobile home. I know some may think that it's trashy or whatever, but I have lived in mobile homes my whole life, my husband and I were buying a house up north, and I hated it, I just wanted back home and into my mobile home. They are much cheaper than renting a house a lot of time, and have better ammenities ;O) Just a thought.
Ok, I've been with my husband for 10 years now, and his mother is a very nosy woman without a filter, but I love her to death now. It hasn't always been that way between us, she used to call me immature and everything else, and say that my husband and I will never last. Well, here we are, 10 years later, happier now than we were back then (I still can't wait to see my husband everyday when he comes home, I still run out to give him hugs and kisses). My advice to you, is yes you should try to avoid living with her, but if there is no way to get around it at this time, then don't forget you are not married to her. You are married to her son, and he is not his mother. A lot of people make the mistake of forgetting that these are two seperate people, with their own seperate thoughts and feelings. So if she says something that you don't like, or does something that just makes you want to scream, just ignore it, look at your husband and remember why you married him, and how much you love him, and forget whatever it is that she does that you don't approve of. It is her house, and you have to live by her rules, and so does your husband, he's most likely not going to speak up and cause any conflict because it is his mother, and he really doesn't want to fight with her. You have to understand that from the beginning, and know that you are only doing this to get back on your feet. Keep a smile on your face, and if you need a breather, take one, but don't let it get under your skin, and don't take it out on him. The last thing he's going to want to hear everyday is how much you can't stand his mother, just let everything roll off of your back, and treat him the same way you would if you were still living as just a couple. I hope that advice helps you, and I know you'll get a lot more, keep us updated on what happens. Take care.