Night Time Awake Up

I don't know what's worse.

She is very awake when she needs to be sleeping.

She has food in the middle of the night.

She gets to call the shots over the adults in her life.

Her mother has catered to her for 7 years.

Her father calls her mother names.

Her father is raising his child to be a spoiled brat.

She will lose friends because she will be very demanding of friendships and later, marriage partners because she will think people don't love her unless they do what she wants.

Talk to her dentist. Talk to a marriage counselor. Talk to a family therapist.

Put a glass of water next to her bed. If she's thirsty, she can drink it. But no one goes to the kitchen in the middle of the night.

By refusing to cater to your child's whims and encouraging healthy habits, such as sleeping through the night and not having sugary snacks in the middle of the night, you are being a good parent. What your husband wants is ridiculous and not doing your child any favours.

You're right. He's wrong. Tell him that mentality that she's the only child and you should do anything she wants is how only children get the reputation of being spoiled.

He's wrong, you're right. She needs to learn to calm herself down and go back to sleep, and absolutely not eat in the middle of the night! Sleep deprivation is a huge problem for everyone, and she's not benefiting by dealing with her boredom by getting hot chocolate. The teeth are one thing. But it's worse than that. Sleep is really essential for brain development and her teachers are going to be calling you soon saying she has no focus and is not taking in the material because she is too tired. She's going to make bad decisions and be less alert, opening herself up to dangers, from crossing the street without looking to turning on the stove and leaving it on.

Your husband needs to tell your daughter that she doesn't come out of her room until a set time (whatever works for school,, say 6:30 a.m.). If she absolutely has to go to the bathroom, she does it quietly and absolutely does not do anything else, including waking you up. If you have to tell her she doesn't even get to flush the toilet lest she wake anyone up, do it. If you have to enlist the advice of the pediatrician, do so. Your husband sounds like he just wants to go back to sleep by having you not "be lazy"! If he thinks it's such a hot idea, he should show you the magazine articles or links to childhood development sites that say it's a wise idea to give a child hot chocolate (or cereal or TV time or conversation or whatever) at 3 AM. He's going to be hard-pressed to find any expert or physician who will say that getting up is normal in anyone other than an infant or a sick child!

Everyone wakes at night, but we go back to sleep. Your daughter needs to learn to do the same, and night eating is a really really bad habit to get into. It is time to put your foot down, this is unacceptable and can not continue. If she feels she must have something to drink when she wakes, then leave a glass of water on her night stand. I worry about spills, so my boys sometime keep a small water bottle next to their bed.

I work at an elementary school.
Kindergarten through 5th grade.
I see and interact with all kinds of kids.
But... those that are treated like a fragile little tea cup at home... are just not pleasant at school. Why?
They are either unable to think on their own, they are unable to do things independently, they are "spoiled", they are not good at socializing, they are either real arrogant or very passive, and they expect everyone to do what THEY want.
Attitudes like that, in school, just don't work.

I have an only child.
O. who has always slept they the night.
On the rare occasions he would wake & want something (cereal/crackers/granola bar) I'd let him because orcas a rare exception--not the norm.
Let your husband get up, fix the snack, and supervise tooth brushing!
He's wrong, you're right.

Good grief. What is your husband going to give into when she's a teen? A midnight joy ride in the car? He's being ridiculous.

Make an appointment for you and him to go to the pediatrician and get some advice on childrearing. Tell them when you make the appointment that you need a half hour. Tell the doctor what your husband is saying. Let the doctor tell your husband how wrong he is. Even better if the doctor is a man. Maybe your doctor will listen better to a man.

My husband and I did this when our first son was little. He wanted fish sticks ALL THE TIME and it was causing a problem. The doctor explained how things were supposed to be, and also that it was alright to make a child wait and not jump everytime they called. It was good for my husband because he thought I wasn't "fast enough" doing things for our son. Once the doctor talked it through with him, he realized I was doing things right. We didn't have anymore problems after that.

By the way, your daughter doesn't sleep at night because she can get away with manipulating your husband. If you don't stop this stuff, it's just going to get worse.

No food till breakfast.
A glass of water is fine.
Actually no one sleeps through the night.
We all wake up periodically.
BUT we get use to rolling over and falling asleep again and we never remember it.
She just needs to learn how to roll over and resume sleeping.
Tell your husband if he wants to rot her teeth and pay for fillings and dental work then by all means go ahead and give her sugar/calorie laden drinks during the night (sarcasm in case you didn't recognize it).
Maybe she should be eating a high protein high fiber snack an hour or so before bedtime (and drink a lot of water with it) but once she brushes her teeth before going to bed then no more food until it's time for breakfast.

It's sort of biological....it's not like she sets her alarm so she can wake you up right? If she's not sleeping through the night then her body wakes her up. Also, if she's going to bed too early then she's had her sleep she needs and is just waking up....kids only need so many hours of sleep.

I agree there should be no hot cocoa making BUT if she brushes her teeth afterwards it makes no difference what she snacks on.

I would not do it every night, if hubby didn't care then I would tell daughter to wake dad up if she wakes during the night, that he said it's okay for her to be up. He gets up with her a few times he'll put a stop to it. If he says he's not getting up with her I'd say "I said no, you said yes, so either we both say no or you get up with her". I also might take a sleep aid or something so he'd have to get up with her a few nights in a row just so I could get some good deep rest and so hubby would be forced to get up.

I would have something available for her to eat that required no "making". I do NOT allow the kids to eat when there is not an adult in the room, the kids do NOT eat anywhere but in the kitchen where I am unless we're eating a meal in the dining room. I have too much child care experience and I've had to turn too many kids upside down and pound their backs to be comfortable with kids eating when no one is there to help them if they choke. That's nightmare stuff for me. It's one of my pet peeves...lol.

So, you don't mention her food routine. If you are watching what she eats due to her being overweight, or only 3 meals per day with no snacks, if she grazes all day and won't sit down at any meal time and eat til full....these sort of help us see the whole picture.

IF she's a grazer like one of ours is then she's going to need a good snack right at bedtime. Something with a good protein source and a few complex carbohydrates. Not too heavy because that won't be comfortable. But something that will stay with her for several hours. Like a fold over peanut butter, thinly spread, sandwich with wheat bread. Maybe a whole one if she's really hungry. Some milk to wash it all down with. Then off to brush teeth.

Kids do get hungry and thirsty. I still do occasionally and I can look back at what I ate and drank during that day and see why I woke up.

See if there are other changes you can make, such as bedtime, if she's going to bed too early then start letting her stay up later. She's 7. If she goes to school at 8 then she'd need to be up by 7. She could stay up until 10pm and still get 9 hours of sleep. If she went to bed by 9 she'd get 10 hours of sleep. School age kids don't need that many hours of sleep. They usually only get around 8 or 9. With after school activities and sports some kids don't make it to bed until 9 or 10pm every but have parents who have to be at work at 6am or 7am and kiddo's have to get up and go to child care. So see if letting her stay up a bit later and having a late snack helps.

Hot coccoa in the middle of the night? Um NO.. it has caffine.. how much during the day is she getting? It is likely waking her up and then she is craving it.

My kids only get water going to bed/ middle of the night if necessary ( when you have a cough sometimes you do need to wet your wistle). Only water anything else will sit on the teeth and hurt them.

That is a want not a need. Your husband needs to understand that. This is not a case of bieng lazy. Same thing when a parent lets a child cry in the middle of the night vs running to them. I have had to do this a few time with my 2.5 year old. I have to just lay there and let her cry, then after a few days she remains a sleep.