Needing Advice for Baby's Minor 'Fits' While Eating

No. She's just throwing a fit and not too young teach that she doesn't always get her way. It's a perfect learning opportunity for both of you. But, don't let her get away with it. That's my thought.

The sign language worked with my youngest. They are too young to say what they want verbally, but pick up on a few signs very quickly. Just learn the signs for "more" and "all done". Do the "more" each time you give her a bite, then help her do it a few times, then hold the bite until she does it. Give the "all done" signal just before getting her down from the high chair, then help her do it. They catch on really fast, and then have no reason to scream for what they want.

In the book Touchpoints by Brazelton, he says that babies around 10 months really want to feed themself. My daughter is also 10 months, and loves little pieces of cooked carrot, sweet potato, dry cereal or cut little pieces of whatever we are eating. Sure, it is a little messy, but eating time is positive for us and her. We continue to sneak spoonfuls in between her own bites, and she can occupy herself much longer than we can, exploring the food.
Hope this helps.

L.,

My advice to you is to never give in to her demands. It seems to me that she wants you to move when she says (screams) move. It is suppose to be the other way around. Once you give in to her demands, it's gonna be hard to break her, so don't start something you can't finish. Don't let her dictate nothing!

P. G.

Hi L.-

I don't have any experience with this, but my first reaction was is she truly worse in restaurants or are you just more sensitive to it because it's in public and your embarassed? If she is truly worse, it could be her way of getting attention from you. When you're in a restaurant you might be spending less time interacting with her and more time with others at the table or looking at the menu etc. She might be used to having your full attention at meal time and at the restaurant she doesn't get it. If her behavior is actually the same at home (just not as embarassing) I would say try to feed her a little earlier so she is not as hungry or try some finger foods so that she can control the pace herself.

Good Luck,
K.

First off, it is, most likely, just a phase. Let her feed herself. That way she is in control of how fast she is getting the food.

I would also give her words for her feelings. "You are frustrated because you are not getting food quickly enough, but you have to wait." Have her wait for a sec, and then feed her. She may scream, but that is how she is feeling. She will be learning that she does have to wait.

Tantrums at this age are necessary. Little ones have brand new emotions that they don't know what to do with. Everything seems like a big deal because it is. As a parent, it is our job to teach our children to handle these emotions appropriately.

Hello L.,

I also have a 10 month old boy. When he was around 7 to 8 months he would do the same. We give him around 4 to 6oz of formula before we head out to the restaurant to keep him calm. We also bought Gerber Puffs and we take them in a ziploc bag and have him play and snack on them between feeding to keep him entertain and quiet. We also bring a toy with us. Good Luck!

Hey Lauire! My baby girl is almost 11 months old and I went thru some difficulties with feeding her starting at the beginning of her 10th month. She didn't get demanding or squealing but refused to eat ANYTHING i offered her on a spoon. She clamped dwn and looked at it like it was a turd!! I ended up giving her little Cheerio sized soft foods and she wanted to feed herself!!!! I was so worried she wasn't getting enough calories (she's on the small side) but she's doing better now. Unfortunatley she's a fussy eater and has been living on Cheerios, diced peaches and cheese cubes!! I think maybe you could try giving your baby some finger foods and see what she does? She may want to participate in her own feeding and is frustrated because she doesn't know how to express that and it comes out like she's having a fit. She's at the stage where she is becoming more independant and will want to try feeding herself (that's what my doc's office told me anyway!)
Good luck!!!
B.

give her the spoon to feed herself... that ought to keep her quiet for a while! it is empowering for little ones to know that they can have control of their little lives, and food seems to be an issue. of course, have your own utensil ready too... good luck with this phase!

I would give her some little finger foods so she is feeding herself at the beginning (like small pieces of cheese, some of the finger foods you can buy from the store). I wouldn't give her the spoon until she can really use it properly, but letting her use her fingers to practice picking little things up like finger foods to feed herself hopefully will keep her entertained. You might want to try to teach her some sign language as well, like "all done" and "more please" you can look these up on line somewhere, children at this age can understand alot but just can't express it to you, this can be frustrating to her and you. But in saying this it takes a couple of months for them to be able to sign back to you. But in the mean time let her know that it is not acceptable to behave like this. Try time out (remove her to another room into a pack and play or something) so that she knows that you don't like her behavior and it is not acceptable. Make this time out very short, say 2 minutes. She will not like this, but she will figure it out, that every time she behaves badly she gets taken away from your presence and her food. if it is in a restaurant then you take her to the car for a couple of minutes. Make it a big deal when talking to her about "no we do not squeal (or whatever she is doing) we have good manners at the the dinner table." Also you need to feed her until she can use the spoon or fork herself.

Hope this helps.

i wouldn't worry about it. i went to out to eat with my friend and her daughter was about the same age and squealed during our meal also. i think it's the action going on around them and they get excited. my g-daughter does the same thing and she is 10 months old. she doesn't do it any other time, really except at a restaurant. when they get a little older then i would get serious about disciplining her. dont' worry, it's normal!

it's never too early to teach a child to be patient. that said, it isn't a good idea to have that lesson in a restaurant. keep some cheerios or other finger food on her tray to feed herself between spoonfed bites. she's old enough to start picking up cheerios and other bite size pieces. it's actually good for her fine motor skills.

L.,

I used sign language with both of my (hearing) children. Two of the first signs we taught were "please," (or as a friend refers to it, "do my bidding") and "more." They felt quite empowered when they were able to communicate effectively, so when the spoon wasn't coming fast enough, they'd be signing like CRAZY!

This is the kit that taught us how to teach them: http://www.sign2me.com/
It teaches a lot more than "please" and "more," and I SO enjoyed the interaction and simple communication with my daughters (at 18-24 months, my oldest would tell me about all the animals we were seeing at the zoo).

Best wishes!
M.

hi laura b. well from my pass experience,my advise to you is to 1st try and have every thing you will be feeding her ready and sitting at the table with you . then as you feed her try to distract her little mind by talking to her and make her laugh a little. that might stop her from yelling .

Hi L.
You can try this.
1. Strap her into her highchair and don't try feeding her while she is on the move crawling about, ever.
2. Place a plastic bowl of finger foods in front of her - be creative and ensure they are not things she is likely to choke on. Make them attractive with sprinkles if necessary. This should calm her.
3. While she is distracted with "feeding" herself, you feed her a spoonful of her proper meal while she is playing about with her own food - if necessary, give her her own spoon to play about with.

I never left home without cheerios, saltine crackers, all the diff gerber baby cookies/crackers my kids would eat. I had a little tupperware container (about an once size) that always had snacks in it. One for each kid. When we went somewhere I pulled that out and gave them about 2-3 pieces at a time.

I also brought 2 crayons and paper. They don't have to each just because they are in a highchair. And if you have a long wait for food, they could be on your lap for a few minutes.

But I taped a piece of paper on the high chair at home and gave them a crayon and showed them how to 'draw'. Of course at this age they last about 2 seconds. LOL But as they got older and 'colored' longer it gave us another activity while we waited in resturants for our food.

Oh, and a piece of ice slides around nicely on a hot day. LOL They spend a lot of time and energy trying to catch it and suck on it. Plus the bonus is ice cleans them up.
(I taught preschool--messes come with babies!)

I suggest reading anything by Tracy Hogg, particularly "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers". She is a genius!!

Hello, My name is Leah and I have 3 great children. What I would suggest is to firmly tell her no, and remove the food from her sight. And keep doing whatever you were doing and ignore her screams. As soon as she is in a better mood bring back the food, and with a smile on your face start feeding her again. The next time tell her no and remove the food again. Then the next time she yells say nothig and remove the food again. Keep doing this until you have victory.
If this is not up your alley you might give her some cheerios on the tray so she can get one for herself in between the bites that you give her. The only way to get her to stop is to ignore her "fits" and don't give in to them. If you continue to give into those fits she will continue to do them. It won't be easy at first, but keep at it. Hope this helps :)

My little girl (about to be 10 months too!) has recently started doing the same thing, especially at restaurants. I think she is trying to communicate with you. I have been teaching my daughter sign language to let me know when she wants more and when she finished. It has cut down on the screaming! Also, maybe she is ready to feed herself. I sprinkle rice krispies on my little one's tray and she munches on those as I spoon in her nutrition. She is too busy trying to shove the cereal in her mouth and doesn't scream as much. Visit wholesomebabyfood.com for some good ideas of other finger foods to give her.

I would have her checked for reflux. It is common for young babies and it causes them to be fussy because eating hurts. Some children have gotten so bad they refuse to eat.

We would turn the high chair around even in public, and ignore our daughter. It is hard with the screaming, etc. Practice doing at home before going out. Then, after she realizes that it doesn't work, she will do the same in public.

I taught school also before starting our family. Somehow we think we are going to be perfect parents, because of all the training. It is definitely different when you have one of your own. Don't be too h*** o* yourself or your daughter, but be firm.

We had to tie an extra belt around her also, as she was very strong-willed in her toddler years and was able to get out of the high chair belts.

Consistency is the key, but you know that.

Blessings,
R.

maybe try feeding her a little earlier than the normal time so she won't be so hungry?

10 months is about the time, I've noticed, that both my kids started in with the tantrums and "boundary testing."
People might argue that at 10 months, they dont' understand, but they do. If you stop the bahavior NOW you will have very little problems with minding and tantrums later on. Children are smart and not given enough credit for knowing how things work and how to manipulate situations. They need boundaries and limitations, otherwise they can become insecure and develop bad behavior habits.

Start at home with a meal like normal and every time she makes the noise, say in a firm voice, "No. No Screaming." If she does it again, hold firmly onto both of her hands and don't let her move them. Tell her "No. No Screaming." Every time she does it again, repeat step 2 until she gets the idea.
She seems pretty sweet-natured so it shouldn't be too much of a battle. But if it is you might have to do the "hand-slapping thing" instead. My daughter has always had a desire to make everyone happy so it was easy with her, but with my son, he was EXTREMLEY strong-willed and was determined to win. After a while, my Mom suggested I just use her favorite method (which she used with me and my sisters in public), which was the "reach descretely around with your hand and give their bottom a little pinch." That method works REALLY well now that my kids are older too. My daughter started to throw this tantrum in the grocery store yesterday and all I had to do was put my fingers on the skin near her bottom in a "position of a pinch" and warned her to stop. She was an angel the rest of the day.

Stand your ground, let her know that you love her very much, but that bad bahavior will not be tolerated :) Your consistency and hard work will pay off!

Best of Wishes,
M.