When Should You Worry!

Updated on February 26, 2008
M.S. asks from Lizton, IN
22 answers

I have a ten month old who is doing all of the normal activity of a ten month. Here is my worry. When should he be able to feed himself and when should I be concerned that he isn't.

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M.D.

answers from Cleveland on

I used to worry about everything - when was she going to crawl, walk, talk, etc. And it ended up that she did everything just fine! She held her cup at 9 months, walked on her first birthday and she did all of it. I didn't need to worry or rush things.

M.

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A.W.

answers from Cleveland on

My boy started feeding himself at about 11 months. This included picking up food with his fingers etc. He is now 18 months and is still trying to adjust to using utensils.

Work with him on picking up objects. Try putting colorful things on his high-chair tray (or table)for him to pick up. My son had a great time picking up jell-o

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D.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

M.,

I guess that depends on what you classify as "feeding himself." At 10 months, a child should be able to somewhat use a spoon to get food into his mouth and use a sippy cup some too. He should be able to grasp bit size foods and get them into his mouth also using a raking motion and by 12 months (approx.) be using his index and thumb (pincer grasp) to obtain bite size foods. By 15 months, he should be able to use a fork some and stab at foods. By 24 months, he should be using the spoon and fork with significant mastery of both along with a cup without a lid when being supervised. Hope these help.

But at 10 months, he should be trying to feed himself and you get to let him make a mess while trying to encourage him to grow. But remember, he still will need help feeding himself for awhile.

D.

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M.B.

answers from Elkhart on

Have you tried cheerios or puffs snacks for him? Those are easy to pick up and eat. If he's not using his pincer grasp, yet you may need to show him. One other thing you could try is giving your son a spoon while you're feeding him to hold onto. Our 11mo old loves holding onto a spoon while being fed and tries to dip the spoon in the container just like mommy. You can also contact first steps it's a public and free program and they can tell you about developmental milestones and when you should worry about your son. .

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I think my daughter started feeding herself around 9 months. It was just Cheerios and Gerber Puffs at first. She doesn't use a spoon or anything by herself yet. Remember, that it takes kids a few times of practicing before kids get something. I'm not sure what your dinner time routine is or if your son is on table food or not. We would just give my daughter very small pieces of what we were eating. If she was having a hard time, I'd pick up the piece with my fingers and feed it to her that way. Eventually she got the idea.Just keep trying. He'll get it eventually!!!!

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K.F.

answers from Indianapolis on

He should be about the age where he is starting to finger-feed himself, though only small bits at a time. He certainly shouldn't be feeding himself whole meals yet. And he isn't at the age to spoonfeed yet. That takes quite a while. But don't worry if he isn't finger-feeing yet. He's just at the beginning of the stage. Just give him lots of chances to use those fine-motor skills and it will come!

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have a 20 month old who can't feed himself with a fork or spoon. My 3 year old was doing this at 18 months. My youngest was also a late talker but early walker. All kids develop at different stages. If it's that big of a deal for you, work on self feeding but I don't think it's anything to worry about yet.

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M.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

does he pick up food. my almost two year old is just using a spoon proberly. he was never interested. you have a while to be worried. some kids just are not interested in it. and until they are there is not pushing. as long as he will pick up like cheerios and stuff like that. i know both of my kids would not eat certain texture pick up . like the toddler foods that are food inside of noodles. they won't touch them. and my son now is four and hates the texture of peanut butter.

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Each child is very different. I have learned that just b/c my almost 5 year old doesn't do something...doesn't mean he can't. He simply won't. It's his personalilty. Getting him to feed himself would change his routine, and take that potential time for attention away from him. My suggestions are to eat with him if you don't already. If you guys stay home during the day, eat your breakfast and lunch at the same time as trying to feed him. Find fingerfoods, they won't just a fork or spoon until they are much older.
My neice is 12 months old and only feeds somethings to herself, and I know an 18 month old who still needs help with eating b/c he will squish everything in his hands and nothing would make it to his mouth. My almost 5 year old would really love it if we put everything on his spoon and fork for him for the whole meal still...we definitly do not, but he will try to trick us on occassion.
Best of luck!

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A.F.

answers from Fort Wayne on

hi M.,
it's so easy to worry about your children especially as it relates to development! i am an early intervention coordinator and wanted to make sure that you knew about the FIRST STEPS program. this is an early intervention program for children 0-3 years old and a parent can refer their own child when they have developmental concerns. though i can't remember when finger feeding is to be mastered, i know using a spoon doesn't need to be mastered until 18-24mo. you can always have a free evaluation by the first steps team anytime to check on development. just wanted to make sure you knew you could contact them and that you don't have to be referred by your doctor. take care, M.!
A.

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A.H.

answers from Elkhart on

I wouldn't worry too much yet! Our 10 month old can feed himself things like rice cakes, cut up fruit, etc. Basically finger foods. Anything that needs to be put on silverware I need to load it. He can get it into his mouth, but half the time its upside down or empty by the time it gets there! Our little guy is a real little Mr. Independent though, and nearly 11 months now too. So if he's more advanced don't worry about it. My friend who has a little guy a week younger than ours says he isn't trying to do any of it by himself. So to each their own!

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A.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Just don't worry, I know its hard but all the kids in the world do their mile stones in their own good time

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H.I.

answers from Cleveland on

You should never worry. Your child is still to long to worry about him feeding with a spoon. You can tring to use a spoon or fork when he is 15 -18 months old. He will show you when he is ready. Every Child is different from other child. One way you can tell is if you give him a spoon or fork and he is really interested in the spoon or fork. If he tries to put the spoon or fork to his mouth. Usually most children do not feed themselfs well until they are 2 years of age. You still have a while for that. I would start out giving him table foods and see how he grasps his food. If he does well using his index finger and thumb to pick up food and continues to do well that usually means he is ready to start learning how to eat with a spoon or fork.

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B.H.

answers from Dayton on

Kids are all very different in their development. They let you know when they are ready to try certain things. One day my 10 month old daughter only wanted to squish the pieces of peaches in her fists, literally overnight she decided it was more productive to pick the pieces up and put them in her mouth!

She will hold a spoon in her hand and stick it in her bowl and bring the spoon to her mouth (well sometimes her ear, sometimes her eye...) But mostly she is content to be fed, and frankly i don't mind feeding her. If you have mentioned it to your pediatician and they aren't concerned i wouldn't be too worried either. :)

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P.V.

answers from Columbus on

My son is almost ten months and isn't feeding himself either. I usually put him in his high chair while I am preparing his food and give him some cheerios so he can "practice." I figure it will happen sooner or later!

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A.W.

answers from Columbus on

With all three of my children I would just sit them in thier high chair and give them cherrios and gerber puffs and let them go, usually around 7-8 months. It does take them a little while to figure it out and there will be a lot of food lost on the floor (my dog always gains a lot of weight but she learns to love the babies!!!!!) Gerber also makes pasta pick ups they come in little containers that you heat in the microwave for 30 sec and I usually cut them into 4ths for dinner. I also give small pieces of what ever I am eating. I wouldn't worry to much he will figure it out. Don't worry about using silverware that will take him a while to learn. I think with my older two I started at a year or so letting them play with the kid safe ones at meal times but I want to say they were a lot bigger before they really figured them out. My daughter still has a little trouble keeping her spoon straight when eating soup or cereal, she is almost 4!!!

I hope this helps you a little!!

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N.Q.

answers from Cleveland on

what? dont even start worrying about this. that too will come with time. just get to learn how to hold etc. feeding will come in due course... at around 1 (and even that wont be perfect )

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

D you mean finger foods like cheerios (should start around 9 months) or with a spoon (18 months?). Big difference! With finger foods, just make sure there are always things within reach and he will start pretty quickly :)

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N.S.

answers from Columbus on

I wouldn't be concerned. My son started to put little pieces of bread in his mouth when he was almost 12 months old. Before that he was never even interested in feeding himself. He was perfectly content with being fed. Since his pediatrician was not concerned neither was I.

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A.R.

answers from Cincinnati on

According to my pediatrician - 18 months and older. Some tots may be able to feed themselves before then or later but that would be the average! Don't worry yet! After looking at your question, I am assuming you are talking about feeding himself with a spoon? Good luck!

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M.L.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I have just started to allow Ali to start feeding herself. I went and bought some of those gerber puffs that just melt in her mouth, those are great

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S.S.

answers from Cleveland on

No worries! He should be holding his own drink and possibly eating tiny pieces of food with his fingers (gerber first foods), however my girls didn't eat out of a plate until a year, and then at 18 months we introduced silverware - which are doctor was surprised because she said usually at age 2 they recommend introducing silverware.

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