Need Relationship Advice, Please.

Hi C. M,

My advice for you is to NEVER take action based upon what you hear. Always, try to find out the facts for yourself. My husband always tell me "what he doesn't know can't hurt him". So what I am trying to say is this, you didn't catch your boyfriend cheating on you so you had no need to confront him. However, a person who you thought was a friend give you some misleading info, what I would have done was to watch his actions and behaviour, hell, I would even followed him to find out what it is that he is doing when he is not with me. If I discovered that he was cheating with my own eyes then and only then would I have confronted him. However, what's done is done and you can't erase the past, so I would suggest to you that explain to your boyfriend that you made a mistake and that you would not allow anyone or anything to intervein in your relationship any more. (And I know that you've probally done this already). But give him some time to himself, he is just angry at you right now, give him some room to think things true and I am sure that he will come around. Real love always finds its way home.

I wish you the best.

Regards

G. F

Tell him EXACTLY what you just told us and what you learned from it. If he comes back...great! If not, pull yourself together, hold your head up high and move on. Chalk this up to a life lesson...well learned.

Say you are deeply sorry if it IS NOT true....and that if it was true,...thats how you would handle something like that. Apologize and then ask for his forgiveness, and if he'd like to go out on a date again,....start slowly and talk some each time...(men really dont like to talk)...IF he knows your door is open HE'LL COME....,be sure he knows,...he he doesn't COME...LET HIM GO!! .....He'll be back....men always return...
Keep your head up....
Mercy

did you have any suspicions of him cheating before you broke it off? how do you know it still is not true?
ask him what he would have done.
give it time for him to come around. just tell him you will prove yourself to him and do it.

just a little bit of advice. whenever in a relationship never react before you research if something is going on and you are in love you will know.there are many people jealous and eager to destroy what yuu have(your friend thought is was a joke but she destroyed the trust in you and your boyfriend)if both of you are in love and your relationship is solid he will forgive you. give him time

I question why you would have believed the other person over your boyfriend in the first place. Did you have reason to suspect him of cheating? And why are you so eager to get him back-- do you really just want a boyfriend again or is it HIM that you really want back? These are just questions to ask yourself.

C.,

You need to call him and let him know that you would like to sit down and talk for a minute.
If he is willing, let him know that you are deeply sorry for breaking up with him and that you would like his forgiveness. I would then tell him why you did it and ask him for forgiveness for not trusting him or asking him if it was true.
You should then tell him that you would like to try again if he is willing and that you will work on the trust issue and believing others without checking with him and giving him the chance to defend himself.
Let him know that you were wrong and you realize that you need to change those things.
Do not blame him for anything and do not make excuses.
Simply admit your error and how it must have hurt him and then ask for forgiveness. Be honest and upfront and humble.
Then, let him decide without trying to convince him and accept whatever he says. If he choses to stay apart, trust that if you are meant to be together, it will happen eventually. But if you are not, now is when you must part ways. Be mature about it and don't try to manipulate the situation to get what you want.
Take Care,
T. (happily married 11 years with 4 children)

Have you tried talking to your ex-boyfriend and explaining the situation? If you have, and he doesn't forgive you, that may be a sign that he doesn't really love you. If he loves you, he will forgive you.

Also, what was his reaction when you broke up with him? Did you give him an explanation? What did he say and what was the tone of his voice when he said it? These are also keys to how he feels about you.

Finally, it's possible that another underlying reason he is hesitant to reunite with you has NOTHING to do with you but ALL to do with him.

I suggest having another talk with him. Tell him your feelings and explain your underlying emotions for breaking up. Then listen to what he says and how he says it to see if he loves you and wants to try working it out.

Thanks!

It sounds as if there was a lack of communication on your part. Hopefully, he will understand you simply made a mistake and you can work to repair the trust that has been broken. Sometimes it helps to have a therapist in repairing that relationship to help set boundaries and restore the trust and intimacy that may have been lost. Families by Design in Boca Raton is a fantastic therapeutic center that serves families and couples- try calling Dr. Jon Black @ (561) 994- 7222 if you feel the two of you are interested in therapy.

were you honest with him as to why you broke up with him? The only way is to tell him sincerely you made a huge mistake. Leave the rest to GOd. Just be open, if he doesn't forgive you, it may have been not meant to be. He may be an unforgiving person. Good luck!!

Dear Heartbroken,

Was it really gossip that
broke up your relationship?
Apologizing should have brought
him back to you, [is he back?]
...if the relationship was a good one.

If you feel you've been the jealous type
all along, has it ever been for good reason?
Do you ever get that "funny feeling" during
intimate moments?
Unless you catch him in the act,
many women are prone to believe
they are the ones who are paranoid,
and that the boyfriend/hubby is really
the innocent one.

Before you drive yourself insane,
remember that you are a wonderful person,
who deserves true love.
If this guy's the one, then you will know it
in your heart.
If he's not, then know you are a strong woman,
who can offer a lot to the world.
Let God fill that hole in your heart, first.
Then you might not "depend" on the boyfriend
filling it, and won't have to go through the stress
of similar situations.

Did you ever see that romantic comedy,
"What a Girl Wants?"
I know it's for teenagers, but check out the
girl's mother. She was happy being herself.

Well good luck and God bless!

Oh honey I am sorry,
Apparently what happened totally sucked and you are hurting; halk it up to another universal life lesson, obey your instinct and whomever it concernes get their side of the story before final ruleing. People do things for crazy reasons. I once had to deal with a clique in my community saying I faked my miscarriage to get attention. That is a tough pill to swallow, and these were people I had social friendships with.
If the man truly loves you, he will listen when you ask him to just sit and listen then decide. If he won't, ten he wouldn't have made a good life partner because all relationships have their own bag of bs that the couple negotaited. Plus you have a child and that is most important. Kids are great judges of character. Trust your united instincts and hope for the best. Make sure that if you go after the man that it is because of the man and not about being alone. Good luck and no love given, even unsuccessful, all matters in the end.

Hi C.!

If your relationship was stable, you would have gone to him with the information in the first place. I'd say you have trust issues if you would break-up a 2 year relationship without talking to him.
Stay apart, start talking to each other and decide if the relationship is worth saving.
Good luck!