Need Help with Night Time Potty Training

Updated on August 31, 2009
D.B. asks from Austin, TX
13 answers

My son has been potty-trained since before he was 3 years old...except he's still in pull-ups/diaper at night. He's a heavy sleeper, so our pediatrician said it will take longer for him to learn how to wake up and go to the bathroom himself. We've tried waking him up a couple hours after he sleeps to take him to the bathroom. He's still half asleep but will pee. The only time he'll wake up himself is if his bed or pants are wet (never prior). He just started kindergarten and it seems like he's the only one who's not potty trained at night. We've tried limiting his fluid intake before bed, but he still pees a lot at night. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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C.W.

answers from Waco on

Hi D.,
patience is the key- he will eventually learn to wake up- he may have some accidents along the way but if you don;t make too big a deal out of it he will be fine. Just let him know "no sleep overs or camp outs" until he stops peeing in his pants at nitetime.
He will be fine- it just takes some boys longer than others, especially heavy deep sleepers.
just keep his pull ups on him as usual until they are dry in the am.
good luck and blessings

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S.V.

answers from San Antonio on

Now I am no expert, but my son is 5 and also still wears a pull up at night. I tried everything I could think of to solve this dilema with no success. Then, my mother found an article written by a pediatrician that said something about a chemical hormone children develop that is related to helping them wake up when they have the urge to pee pee. My younger son has not peed in the bed for a very long time, however, my 5-year-old still does occasionally. The article said that children develop this hormone at different times. Some are just later than others. So, I decided not to give this issue too much importance. He wears a pull up at night and if it is dry we use it again to save money.

Good Luck

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V.K.

answers from Houston on

I don't have any advice to offer but wanted to let you know you're not the only one with this issue. My son will be 5 soon and sounds identical to your child. Once he's asleep, that's it! If I get him up, he will pee, but if I don't, he usually wets the bed. I've also limited his fluid intake but it doesn't seem to make any difference at all. Let me know if you find some magical cure! Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi D.-

My son just stopped wearing pullups at night last May which was the end of 1st grade for him. My daughter also stopped in May and she started kindergarten this fall. Certainly there were more in 1st grade trained then not, but my son was not the only one. When they started keeping the pull up dry at least 50% of the time, we went without the pullups and then after a couple of wet nights they started staying dry. My son has not had a nighttime accident in a long, long time and my daughter probably has one a month still.

I know other parents who have done the "waking them up to pee" at night thing but I don't understand it. You don't really want them waking up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you want them sleeping through the night. Until their kidneys and bladder are ready to do this, it's just too soon. My suggestion is to wear goodnights each night and once he is staying dry try going without it.

Good luck,
K.

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E.B.

answers from Houston on

My son was half way through Kindergarten-wearing Pull Ups every night and usually wetting them- when someone asked him to sleep over. Because of a soccer game the next morning, he couldn't go. BUT it made him realize that if he went to a sleepover he would be in Pull Ups. That fear of "being made fun of" cured him within the week. Nothing like a little peer pressure. On the other hand, my daughter was a VERY heavy sleeper, and she shamelessly stayed in Pull Ups until she was 8 or 9. She slept over places all the time and just kept a plastic bag in her bag to put her wet Pull Up in to bring home and throw away. I'm sure her friends knew, my daughter just had great self esteem and didn't care. She finally learned to stay dry but even now- she is almost 14 yrs old- she may have an accident once or twice a year. Always happens after a very busy week or when she hasn't been getting enough sleep. I think I was a bed wetter myself- and I eventually grew out of it. I remember being about 6 or 7 and my aunt stayed over from out of town and slept in my bed with me. My mother made some comment the next morning about the bed being wet and I looked at her and said "Well, it must have been Aunt Jean's fault because I don't wet the bed." My aunt was in her 40s at the time with two teenage children, I'm pretty sure she wasn't the culprit! I wouldn't worry too much- it will probably just take time for him to grow out of it and you can show him how to be discreet with a Pull Up if he wants to sleep over. And better a Pull Up than wet sheets....

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

Relax!

My boys were past 9 when they were out of nighttime pull-ups. It often doesn't matter if you limit fluids or not. Some boys just need more time.

Good Luck

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P.R.

answers from Houston on

D.,

This may not be the answer you are looking for but, Our son now 10yrs would do the same at night. It truly drove me crazy with the middle of the night MOM my bed is wet. So pull off the bedding and away we go. I really got frazzled by this until one day I said stop stressing and let go. For what ever reason shortly thereafter he stopped wetting the bed. Maybe we made such a thing about it that he knew we were putting pressure on him at night before bed. I don't know but it just took care of its self.
Maybe this helps maybe not but it's worth a try.

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

D.,

I wet the bed as a child until puberty. It was so embarrassing because I could not spend the night with anyone. Back then there were no such thing as pull-ups. We tried everything, no fluids after 6pm, waking me up throughout the night, etc. but the only thing that worked was time. You could take him to a urologist later on and see if anything is wrong, but chances are there isn't. Did you or your husband or his grandparents wet the bed? It usually runs in the family somewhere. By the way, my son just quit wetting it this summer and he started puberty over 2 years ago. There is also a lot of conversation now around early potty training causing bed wetting. People tell me that they have a 2 year old that's potty trained and I ask them if the child tells them when they need to go. The mom says no but they'll go when I put them on the potty. That isn't potty trained, that's lucky. Be mindful to not put down your child. That was the biggest thing for me to remember when my son was wetting the bed. My mom got sick of washing sheets and some days she really made me feel ashamed over it. Good luck with this and pray for your son.

Peace,
C.

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

I am right there with you! My son will be 7 in Sept. And he is to in overnights at night. He is embaressed by it but sleeps so sound! My dr. Says it is normal for some kids to do this. I spoke also, with my in laws and my husband and his side of the family were the same way. Heavy sleepers! I am not worried about it though! When he is ready, the overnights will go away. I am looking forward to that day, but I am not pushing it. Best of luck to you!

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T.L.

answers from Boston on

Hi D.,
I've discovered through calls for sleepovers that a very large number of my son's 6- 6 3/4 year old friends, boys and girls still need a pull-up at night. It might be something that can be worked on, but consider that right now, it might be a genetic hormonal thing. Some kids are able to stay dry all night from 3 years old. There is a hormonal component in it. I read a sleep article from a physician/researcher. We all have a hormone that allows us to rouse when we need to wake up for urination. It's almost non-existent in an infant and builds in children. Some children, naturally through genetics acquire this hormone later in sufficient amounts to wake. That is why they say bed-wetting "runs in the family." So, your choice might be disrupting sleep and making your child tired and dealing with the side effects of fractured sleep, or dealing with pull-ups for another year, knowing that since it is biological that anyday things could move into place and he'll have the natural ability to rouse in advance. If you've woken for a baby a couple times a night, you know you aren't your best the next day, so I would think it would be h*** o* a kid in school to be woken in the middle of the night when a little more time with the pull-up might give his body the chance to develop the skill.

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

My daughter who is now 31 wore diapers at night (no Pull Ups then) because she was never dry in the morning and I wasn't interested in washing sheets every night. Before she started kindergarten her pediatrician suggested that we take her to see a psychologist to let her talk about the issue in order not to have something that would be a social problem when she started school. He talked with her and asked her if she thought she could stop wearing diapers. She said yes, and that was the end of that! (I'm oversimplifying, but it just took two visits, no drugs, etc.)I believe that his name was Dr. Robert Weinberger.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

We stopped allowing milk at dinner, and that did the trick for us! They may have milk anytime before 4 PM. After that we may allow a small cup of juice or water. Nothing to drink at all 1 hour before bed, and go to the bathroom.

HTH
S., mom to 4 difficult to potty train girls

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T.H.

answers from College Station on

I was a bed wetter until I was about 8, or 9. So was my Mother, and her Mother, and so on. I would check on both sides of the family to make sure bed wetting hasn't been passed down. I have 5 children, and 2 of them are/were bed wetters. One of them was almost 9 before he grew out of it. We cut water out early in the evening, and even woke him up during the night, but nothing helped. He is a great kid, and we just realized he couldn't help it. My other child hasn't reached 9, yet. So, we aren't pushing anything. Why cause life long emotional issues over a few pull-ups. When their bodies are ready they will stop. I hope this encourages you a little bit.

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