How Do Get My Daughter to Stop Using Pull-ups at Night?

Updated on September 29, 2009
C.G. asks from San Pedro, CA
49 answers

Help! My daughter is 4 and a half, and she's been potty trained for about two years now, but only for day time. She was still using pull-ups at night, until a couple of months ago we decided it was time to do something about it. All books I have read on the topic say this is normal until age 5, and that they eventually stop wetting at night on their own, but every mom I have talked to about it tell me they either went trough a "wet" period, or it happened simultaneously with potty training at daytime. Anyway, since she's already 4 and a half, we decided to take some of the advice we had, and stopped buying pull-ups for her, and got ready for a "wet" period. It's been hard, I'm washing her bedding almost every day, and it just doesn't seem to be working. We give her incentives for dry nights, and lots of words of encouragement (as we do for everything else she does well), with really not much luck. It's frustrating. Should we really be trying this hard? I'm concerned to be doing more harm that good, by damaging her self-esteem. Right now we're trying using an alarm clock, another advice, to wake her up. I don't know if this really would help her recognize the bladder sensations, so she would wake up on her own, the ultimately goal. Some other people had advised to reduce her liquids intake before night time, but I can't really control that (she pretty much serves herself water at will), and it is important to keep her liquids balanced to control another problem we had--constipation. We saw a product advertised in a catalog--a pad triggers an alarm at the fists drop of moisture. It's a possibility, but at about $80.00, without refund. We're wondering if anyone has used this or anything similar, or have any insights on the topic, or on the ideas we're already trying. Thank you in advance.

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So What Happened?

First of all, I want to thank all wonderful moms for all the advise, so full of wisdom. The majority advised to get back to the pull-ups at night, and stop stressing about it. I didn't want to go back to pull-ups (it felt like a step back), so we purchased some non disposable pull-ups, a more economical approach. With a combination of the cloth pull-ups (they aren't as effective as the disposable ones), and a cover for the bed, we don't have the accidents in the middle of the night anymore, but now our daughter feels the need to go to the bathroom, because she can feel the wetness if she doesn't, which wasn't happening with the pull-ups, she was just too comfortable with them. We kept using the alarm clock for a couple of more weeks, since she started to wake up for some of the times (she goes to the bathroom at least twice every night), but not anymore. Sometimes she makes it to the toilet, sometimes she doesn't, but she goes to the bathroom every time. Now, she's having more dry nights than wet, and it feels she's progressing a little every night. It might still take some time before she's totally out of the pull-ups, but now she's moving towards that, and we're not stressing (or stressing her) about it. Thank you all!

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B.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've read that if they wake up with a wet diaper, their bladder isn't ready. This viewpoint would advocate for waiting to potty train at night until she is waking up with a dry diaper.

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P.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is actaully normal development to be wet until about eight. I would gove it a rest. Let her be in charge of when. She may decide she wants to be dry all on her own. I tried for 2 years to potty train my child and finally gave up. When she was 4 and a half she told me one day she was done with diapers/pull ups and never used them again. She was wet at night maybe twice after that. Good luck.

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N.J.

answers from Honolulu on

Aloha
I have a daughter that is going to be 3 in Nov,she was very quick to learn to be potty trained, then we would put on at night pull ups also, till we watched a video about potty trianning and it said thats the worse to do since it confusses the child, so to stop useing pull ups and leave pantys on, then we would wake her up to ask her to go to the bathroom, and she would be tired but then would wake her self up for mommy to help her, now she does not wet the bed at all and it was only about a 2 week tril with a few wet nights. so no more pull ups at night good luck

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A.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter just turned 7 and is still wearing pull-ups at night. She was potty trained by 2.5 during the day. She is not allowed to have anything to drink after dinner, and even liquids at dinner are limited. She is a very deep sleeper. We tried the 'wet' period, we have tried waking her up 3-4 times at night, we use an alarm clock as well, we tried incentives, I feel we've tried everything except for medication..which we won't do. I have a friend whose parents were very h*** o* her as a child and she has such terrible memories of being 'punished' for bed wetting. She advised me that my daughter will stay dry when she is ready. The doctor told us that she could wet up to age 12, if that's the case we'll deal with it then! I hope you find something that works, I believe some kids just sleep super hard!

Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Just sharing what my Pediatrician said, and what my daughter did.

FULL "Night-Time" bladder "control" is not attained until 5-7 years old. And, "accidents" do happen... even in older kids. My own husband, still had accidents even at 7 years old. It has nothing to do with them doing it on purpose. Its normal.

My daughter, did not have "full" night-time bladder control until about 5 years old. She is 6 almost 7 years old now... but STILL has occasional accidents. It is because she sleeps SO deeply. AND, once she told us she was dreaming she WAS on the toilet... until she felt herself wet. We laughed about it... she couldn't help it.

If my daughter has an accident at night, no biggie. I always have a waterproof bed-pad under her, (I have about 4 of the pads), and I just changed it out, she changes pajamas, and she goes back to sleep. We don't make an issue of it.

It is a "biological" ability. Thus, we don't do incentives or rewards/consequences if she does have an accident.

daytime toileting, and night-time bladder control, are 2 different things.

My daughter, of course, WAS and is, FULLY toilet trained. But at night, well a child sometimes has accidents sometimes. Its normal.

A child, will "naturally" mature, and have more bladder control. AND, it depends on how deeply they sleep as well.

Your child, is only 4.5 years old. Its okay. She IS normal.

For me, the waterproof bed-pads, (which I got from Amazon and the have many different kinds), works out well. I don't have to change/wash all the bedding each time she has an "accident." I just have to wash the pad. Its no problem.

Mainly, don't give the child a hang-up about it. And certainly, DO NOT "compare" her to other children. They are not doing in "on purpose." My daughter, was still using diapers at night (the night-time type), at 5 years old. Then, once SHE and we felt okay about her night-time ability... then she just wore panties. BUT, we talked about it with her, to see how she felt, then we tried with just panties. BUT, we didn't do it, until we/she felt she had more bladder control at night. (when she'd be dry for several nights consecutively).

If its any consolation... my Daughter's Preschool AND Kindergarten Teachers said that kids at these ages, DO STILL have "night-time" wetness/accidents. ALL normal.

Just our experience, and what our Pediatrician, and past Teacher said.

All the best,
Susan

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S.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

My advice is to leave it be. Her body clearly isn't ready yet and you're stressing her out -- and yourself -- by trying too hard. My daughter, who was also perfectly potty-trained for daytime, wet the bed until she was about 8 years old. The less of a "big deal" you make out of it, the less she'll have issues over it. Let time takes it's due course. Did you know that 1 out of 10 children wet the bed until they are 10 years old? So buy the pull-ups and get a good night's sleep!

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K.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Relax. SOme kids just sleep so deeply, that their brains need more maturing. What you are doing, may now cause a sleep problem. Let her wear the pull-ups.
My daughter potty trained incredibly easily - except, she was never dry at night. We just waited - and took it in stride. She stopped wearing pull-ups at age 9. Her brain was not ready - and she was not being stubborn about it. If you do not think it is a "behavior"/"rebellious" issue - stop making an issue out of it. When she is ready, she will tell you, and there will be no trauma. She will just be ready.

K.

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J.D.

answers from San Diego on

I'm gonna agree with the moms that have told you not to stress over it and stay in pullups. I tried reducing water, to the point it became ridiculous with my daughter. We woke her up multiple times a night. We changed her diet. All that happened was lots of washing the sheets and a cranky family from getting up so much. She peed 4 or 5 times a night, even when we would stop liquids at 5pm. 5pm!! We put her back in pull-ups and eveyone felt better. She would still pee so much that often she would fill the pull-up and so we had a waterproof mattresspad. She started to have dry nights when she was almost 8, and by the time she was 8 1/2, she was dry every night. When she would go to a friends or girlscouts for a sleepover we would talk to parents before, and her leaders. Everyone was great about being discreet to help her not be embarrassed. I wet the bed until I was 9, it's a genetic thing with our family. Our Pediatrician told us that we could've given her meds, but she said not to stress until at least 9 or 10. I say keep your sanity and sleep- keep the pull-ups.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with the one other poster that says this is a biological issue. I come from a family of bed wetters. My sister and I night-trained the earliest at around 3, but my brothers wet the bed until puberty. My mom tried every trick in the book, but the only time could fix it.

Here's a good link to a site about it: http://www.drgreene.com/21_586.html

Dr. Greene says: "Primary nocturnal enuresis is a common developmental phenomenon related to physical and physiologic factors. It does not come from emotional stress, poor self-esteem, or emotional immaturity.

Children with PNE have two things in common. First, they need to urinate at night. Not all children do... The second thing children with PNE have in common is that they don't wake up when they need to urinate. "

This isn't something your daughter can control right now. I'm sure, when her body is ready, she'll eventually stay dry at night.

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S.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is hard to understand why they're so competent at holding it during the day, and not at night, but just know that this is a completely developmental issue. If she's not ready she's not ready. You can try all kinds of tricks, like waking her up just before you think she'll pee - maybe 11pm or midnight - taking her to the bathroom, and then hoping for the best. But honestly, when her body is ready, this whole ordeal will be over. Think of this like walking - some kids walk at 9 months, some at 18. It has nothing to do with anything other than that's when their body is ready. So cut her and yourself some slack, and let her wear pull ups until you see that they're dry every night for at least a week. This could easily take until she's 6 or more. Good luck!

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Y.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Don't push her, I had so many people tell me my twin boys should be out of pull ups at night and all gave me the same advice they are giving you. It was my pediatrician and my husband who told me to leave them alone and that they would stop using them when they were ready. I took their advice, one twin told me he wanted to stop using them just before they started 1st grade and he has been dry nearly every night (one or two accidents in past 4 weeks), his brother has told me he is not ready yet and will try in a little while.

I talked and continue to talk very matter of factly about the issue with them and will continue to encourage my 2nd twin to think about getting ready to stop, but I think it has to be when they are ready and 4 1/2 is still very young.

Good luck!

Y. D

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L.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi C., I think the best way will be if you stop the liquids after 6 or close to bedtime at least. She will eventually learn the signals but if she's full of water, and constipated, she won't be able to help it. The suggestion to use Miralax was a good one too, to help the constipation so she doesn't need as much water. Good luck, I am sure this phase will pass soon!

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E.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would advise going back to pull ups asap. Many children are not able to stop night time wetting until around age 7. This is extremely common. In addition, many children who sleep deeply at night are not able to awaken to use the restroom until much later - even 12 or so years old. This is not her fault or something she can "learn" to control. There is a reason pull ups are made to fit much older children and why they make pull ups that are not detectable under clothing - because many children old enough for sleep overs are still having a problem with bed wetting. At 4 1/2 she is still very young. Give her the pull ups back and go to panties when you notice she has had a dry pull up for a few weeks or a month continuously.

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T.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I JUST finished going through this with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. The solution we found was two-fold:

First, I bought a waterproof sheet and cut it into 6 pieces and bought 6 inexpensive towels. I sewed them together to make "changing pads." I put a fresh towel pad on her bed so if she had an accident, I could just put the wet panties & pjs into the wet towel, wrap it all up and put down a fresh one. Makes for quick night time changes and you don't have to wash all the bedding every day. (that gets real old, real fast!)

Second, I made a sticker chart and got some motivational stickers. ("good job" "great work", etc.) Whenever she stayed dry, she got a sticker. (it was more than a week before she earned her first sticker) When she filled up a row of stickers, she got to have a double treat after dinner that day. When she filled up the whole chart, she got a trip to kid Vegas, aka Chuck E Cheese. I made the chart very colorful (each row was a different color of the rainbow) and put it at her eye level in the kitchen so she could see it all the time.

Most importantly (and it sounds like you are already doing this) don't ever make her feel badly for wetting. "It's no big deal" and "accidents happen" were our standard responses whenever she wet. After wetting every single night for six months (no joke) she is now dry 99% of the time. Part of it was our incentive and I'm certain the other part of it was her bladder growing to catch up in size with the rest of her.

Best of luck to you and your precious little girl!

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

First it is important to rule out any medical issues and discuss it with your pediatrician- get their imput. From a behavior modification perspective I have a philosohy that once you go underwear- don't go back. As long as there is no medical issue- it's behavior. Even though she is 4 and a half- go back to potty training basics... You are the parent- limit liquids after dinner- you are the parent- take her to the bathroom (don't expect for an alarm to wake her and for her to go on her own especially in the beginning) Also if there are accidents- have her help with the laundry or clean up- you can look up night wetting or eneurisis on line for other tips- or talk with a mental health professional- again rule out medical issues and discuss with your doctor.. But with parental consistancy, follow through, patience and a non-shaming / non-blaming approach- over time (this won't be easy- especially at her age) you will have success- and more importantly your daughter will!

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L.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you just need to make sure she doesn't drink liquids close to bedtime and goes potty before she goes to bed. I wouldn't pressure her that always tends to not work with kids. Also about the alarm bedtime thing, my parents bought one for me when I was little and I still remember being traumatized. Hopefully she will grow out of it soon. Good luck!

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P.K.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have four step kids. 3 of them wore pull ups until they were 8 or 9. They have some sort of disorder, wish i could remember the name. Their aunts had this trouble too. The first one they did the list of stuff you have tried as well as a lot of spanking. They tried a medication for one of them,also don't remember the name. With the last one they just waited it out. She stopped at 6 or 7. If my son has this problem ( unlikely since it came from their moms side) I would go with option 3. It really affected the self esteem of 1 & 2. Good luck and keep in mind she'll figure it out one way or another. I think as parents the milestone timeline works against us making us feel like we aren't succeeding because our kids are not on the right schedule.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi there,
I believe the ONLY way to solve this problem is to figure out around the time she will wet the bed, and then set your alarm. You need to wake her up before it happens and MAKE her sit on the potty. That will train her body to wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. You must make that habit for her. It could take a few weeks but it should work.
So, I suggest that you wake her up at the exact same time every night, and have the same routine, and say the same thing to her. Don't talk to much, and certainly don't have a conversation with her. Just tell her what you want her to do and leave it at that. If she wants to talk, then tell her we will talk about it in the morning. And that's it.
Be consistant, there may be a fight in the beginning, but if you stick to the same routine, then she will get used to it quickly.
Good luck to you!!!!!!

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Do u have a little potty chair in her room? i'm a little nervous myself..,my son is 3.5 and potty trained..i've been using overnight diapers and he hasn't been using them at his dad's and tonight he took it off and told me.."Godzilla doesn't wear a diaper so i don't want to wear a diaper to bed"
maybe you could talk to her more about it and talk about her favorite characters and how they get up too pee in the night..if it were my son i would put a diaper back on and then have the talks and see if she herself wants to stop peeing in them. i have noticed that my son can go for a long time w/out peeing in the day...and he does drink a lot of liquids..your daughter sounds like she has an active bladder..have u talked to her doc about it?

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N.B.

answers from San Diego on

Don't stress. My daughter was almost 5 when she decided she didn't want the pullups anymore. I had not pushed her because I honestly didn't want to start the process of waking her up in the middle of the night. I have a medical condition that I need as much sleep as possible during the night to make it through the day. Anyway, as she moved towards the "independant 5's", she came to me and said "I'm a big girl, I don't wear diapers". This was almost a year ago, and we never had to change her sheets once! Also, go to the bedwetting store and get a waterproof pad that lies on top of her sheets. That way, if she does wet, you don't have to change her entire bed. It's great for traveling. I bought 2 thinking I would need them, and I didn't. I just kept them on her bed for about 6 months until I knew she wouldn't wet at night.

If she doesn't mind them, then don't worry. Unless there is a medical condition, all people are night trained at some point. :)
Good luck,

N.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I didn't read any of the other responses so I apologize if this has already been said. Sure maybe "most kids" should not have to wear a pull up at night. But not ALL kids. My 4+ year old got rid of her night pull ups by age 3. My neice is 6 and still wears them. My 4 year old will get up in the middle of the night to go potty. My neice who is 6 will not wake up to go. I swear you could drive a freight train through that kids room inches from her and she would not wake up. In the beginning my daughter would have accidents and it would wake her up. My SIL has tried to get rid of pull ups and her daughter will have an accident and will not wake up. My SIL doesn't want to fight the battle and keeps her in pullups. My SIL admits that she wet the bed (at least on occasion) until she was past 10. Now my SIL has a 3+ year old and she doesn't seem as heavy as a sleeper. Who knows what will happen with her but for now she is in pullups at night too. So some kids just can't wake up. Everyone of them is different. You will know if there is something functionally wrong or if she just can't wake up. If there is something functionally wrong then I would look into it. If she just can't wake up. I wouldn't worry. She will get it eventually. Have you checked with your ped about this? I bet he/she would tell you it is more common than you think. People probably don't talk about it because they are embarassed. Don't stress your daughter out about this. Ask her how she feels and what she wants to do. Don't make a huge deal about it. She will get it.

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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

We went through a very similar story to yours. When I asked my pediatrician about it she said don't stress over it and also told me that she wet the bed until almost 7!!! When I stopped washing the sheets daily and let her wear pull-ups she too then quit at 6 1/2 and hasn't had a accident since.

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have very good family friends who used that $$$ pad that vibrates when is senses liquid. . . and it worked well for their daughter. She was SUCH a deep sleeper that she needed the help to wake up. For them her self esteem issues were about the wetting (she was almost 7, and very conscious and upset about it - they were very easy and accepting). The younger daughter did not, by the way, have any wetting problems - it is an individual thing. Our daughter didn't have this problem, hence the vicarious example. But they all thought the pad worked well and often recommned it.

Patience and as everyone else says, no judgement - don't get her anxious about it.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't think it's a big deal if she still needs the pull up. But, if you want to try to train her at night, here is what a friend of mine is currently doing with her kids (boy 4, girl 3). Each has been day trained for about 12-15 months. She limits their liquids in the evenings. I know you said your daughter needs the water and serves herself, but you can still try a little bit to reduce what she takes in. Then, my friend did the following:
1. Make each child pee right before bed
2. Wake them up before going to bed herself, usually around 11 p.m. and make them pee again
3. Set her own alarm for around 3 a.m. to make them each pee one more time

It's working. She's been able to cut out the 3 a.m. waking and both are now going from 11 - 7 a.m. most nights. She's slowly moving the 11 p.m. one earlier to extend the time that they go without using the bathroom. Also, each has woken up on their own a couple of times in the night to use the bathroom.

Good luck!

K.
http://oc.citymommy.com

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, First of all, it's great that you are using positive feedback with your daughter. Some kids are just not as able to wake themselves to get up and go to the bathroom. I was one of them. My mom would threaten me with a spanking when I went to bed. I knew that if I fell asleep I would wet. I would lay there for so long trying not to go to sleep that when I did fall asleep, I would be so deep that I wouldn't wake up. Therefore, I would have a wet bed and my mom would come in to check and of course, I would get woken up and get the spanking. I wasn't supposed to have anything to drink after 6:00 p.m., but my mind would tell me that I was dying of thirst. Of course, we know I wasn't, but it was just my kid mind working on me. Anyway, I am thinking that your daughter will eventually outgrow this and I promise that she will not go to college with this problem. Just be patient and do make a real big deal out of it. When our son had this problem, we just told him that it was his responsibility to strip his bed and put the sheets and blankets on the washer. He was never made to feel bad about it, just responsible. He also grew out of it.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Go to target and get a mattress protector ($15), its about the size of a toddler bed.it has a rubber back so you can put that on top of sheets to protect them and the mattress. Have her use the bathroom just before bed and npo liquids 2 hours before bed and she will not need to go in the middle of the night.

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi C.! I have a 4 year old girl too, and we just stopped needing pull-ups at night. Honestly I think that its something that happens naturally. Its hard to train a child to wake-up in the middle of the night. I don't really think they are concious of what is happening. Some thing I did to help move along the process is going to the bathroom right before bed, only drinking water once before bed, and I switched to cloth pull-ups. THe cloth pull-ups were more economical, and she could feel her wetness better. It made hermore aware of what was happening with out the big mess of wet sheets.
Good Luck!

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J.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I posted a question similar to yours a few months ago. All the mommies who gave me advice were so spot on!

I was wanting my son to have dry nights since he's been potty trained. He is now 5 and he still wears pull-ups. It didn't matter if we sent him to bed without liquids and if we woke him up early- his teeny little body managed to produce pee pee. Why stress yourself out over continuously washing his sheets? Keep her in Pull-ups until her body and brain begin making the potty training 'connection' at night. I've talked to some moms about this and discovered that it is pretty common for their sons to be in Pull-ups until 1st grade (especially if bedwetting was genetic).
I asked my pediatrician for some advice and this is what he told me. Try waking your child twice to go potty (once at 11 p.m. and again at 5 a.m.). You'd want to try to wake her up at that 'magic window' where her body goes to the bathroom. Once you determine this 'window' then you can continue the routine until she learns to go on her own.
I've been waking my son up about 4:45 a.m.- his diapers are less full and when I wake him up to go to the bathroom, there's a good amount. I'm hoping we're almost at the tail end of his Pull-up nights, but we're plugging through and we're not washing nearly as much bedding as we did in the past. Hope this info helps- good luck!

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T.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

We're still in pull-ups and really wet every night at 7-1/2, but I'm not worried. Our fabulous pediatrician told us not to worry until my daughter is 9. I'm starting to see a little bit of a drier trend and yes, she is concerned when friends come over and see diapers in her room, but I just remind her that everybody is different and that her body will know when the time is right to give up the diapers. And yes, I also try to remove the diapers for playdates.

Forget the incentives. Your daughter will just feel bad about herself when she can't control her own body. Self-esteem building is our biggest job as parents at this age. Hang in there!

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R.B.

answers from San Diego on

Dont waste money on anything other then pull ups. Alot of kids pee at night until 7 and 8 years old. Try to limit the drinks and have her go to the bathroom right before going to sleep every night. I tryed no pull ups, and i hated washing all the time to, so went back to pull ups until my daughter was 7 and thank god finally stopped wetting at night. I did buy the ugly no brand pull ups, which made it cheaper. She doesnt want to pee, she probally just cant control it when sleeping. Good luck!

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C.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I asked my doctor about dry nights too. I have an almost four year old who has been dry throughout the day for the last year. My doctor said not to worry about the nighttime quite yet, some kids take until 5 years old when their body learns to control not to wet at nighttime. I know I was 5 and my husband was 7.....so we're hoping it kicks in before the 7 year time frame.
I will say that this is not an issue with him yet, but I can relate to the frustration where as my step daughter is still wetting the bed at age 11. Yes, we had her potty trained when we got her at age 6 and then she went back to her moms and started wetting all over again, but now we think it's an attention thing. We know the difference just from that situation alone, so we're not pushing our 3 year old because like the doctor said, most kids bodies will adapt to staying dry at night. I would say limit intake of liquids though at least a couple hours before bed.
Does your daughter have some dry nights??? I know my son does but I think it's his body getting ready to learn throughout the night.
I hope you have plastic over your mattress....I can totally relate to changing every day...it's frustrating. Maybe she's not quite ready yet. To save yourself frustration, I would keep her in pull ups, and just make sure before bed she goes and as soon as she wakes up she goes to the bathroom, at least you know those are the times she can control going to the bathroom. And if she's still wet, you know her body is still not quite there yet.
Good luck.

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G.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hi
My sister in law bought that product for her first grader last year and it really worked. She was such a sound sleeper that this helped her to wake up and now she wakes up on her own and goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It really worked for her.
Good luck!!
I was very fortunate that all my girls went a few nights and didn't go anymore at night!
Thanks!

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello! My best suggestion would be to buy the waterproof pads for cribs .... they have large rectangular ones. I used those on top of my daughter's bed and she knew what it was for. She hated it, but I told her I would take it off when she was dry for a week. We also let her pick out a toy and she was excitd. Good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter is almost 10 and still wears Pull Ups at night. She was potty trained during the day by about 3 or so I think. This is a totally normal, smart, well adjusted kid and there doesn't seem to be anything we can do to keep her from wetting the bed at night, so we are just hoping she outgrows it and we never make a big deal of it. I did read a while ago that it helps to drink a lot of water during the earlier part of the day to fill up the bladder and make it used to holding a lot. I think that's a really interesting idea and it could be why my daughter wets at night. No matter how much I remind her or offer her water, she doesn't usually drink much at all, and even when I tell her it might help with the bed wetting, she doesn't care. I read that the reason they usually outgrow this problem is that their bladder finally grows enough to hold the pee all night. So if only she'd drink more during the day, maybe her bladder would grow faster????

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, C.--

This was exactly the method we used to help our son with bedwetting. I don't recall exactly how old he was (he's 32 now), but he just slept so soundly that he couldn't wake himself up when he needed to use the bathroom. The alarm system helped him to 'train his brain' to wake him up when he needed to go. I think it took about 2-3 weeks, and that was the end of the problem. (The alarm woke us up, too, which was a good thing. But it's pretty loud, so be prepared!)

One thing--he really wanted to be able to stay dry at night, because he wanted to sleep over at his friends' homes, so that was definitely an incentive for him. How does your daughter feel about this? Is it something she wants to handle? Or does she really care? Might make a difference in how effective anything will be.

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

When my son was 5 I was pregnant and wanted him out of night diapers. I spoke to the doctor who said, many children wet the bed until 6 or 7 and until he was at least 6 1/2 he would not be concerned.

Finally, out of frustration when he was about 5 1/2, I made a chart and put stars on it every time he was dry in the morning. When he started being dry every 5th or 6th night, I told him he no longer had to wear diapers...that I would change the bed. I also promised him a special toy (which he picked out and I purchased without him knowing because I wanted to make sure I go exactly what he asked for). It took about a month or two, but it was not frustrating until the end when he would make it to 6 days and then wet...that is why we gave up at 5 to 6 days dry. Put a good mattress cover on the bed so the mattress doesn't get wet. After that he just started being dry every night very quickly.

I don't know if this helped, but thought I would send you the thoughts. Don't frustrate her. Only work on it if she wants to do so at this time...it depends on her maturity too. If she wants to be dry at night, consider giving a chart a try. My son had an older brother and he wanted to be like him and I knew diapers would be "out" after a baby was there. Also it has nothing to do with intelligence, academics are easy for my son. Just a matter of physical maturity with nerve control. Also how sound a sleeper they are...we could get him up and stand him in front of the toilet and he wouldn't go.

H-

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C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds like she is a deep sleeper. Many of the kids in my extended family are also -- some of them have been bed wetting till the age of 9. Sorry to tell you that... It's stressful and embarrassing for the children and so much extra work for you. Hope you figure out a solution, but just thought I would chime in to let you know that it may just take more time.

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N.D.

answers from Reno on

I am in the same spot as you and the other mom LOL, but I have TWO sons who are still in pull ups at night. 4 and 5 years old, both have been using the potty for about 2+ years, stay dry at nap time, but not at night. I limit food and fluids WAY before bed, make them use the potty RIGHT before bed and yet they are still wet in the mornings. I have tried the 'wet' approach and BOTH have slept thru it, so that did not work at all. My ped says that it will come with time, but how much time? My daughter started using the potty at two and was out of night time pull ups before she was three, not sure what the story is with these two boys =] I will be watching to see if you get any good suggestions, and there is no way that I will ever be able to afford TWO of those alarm things.....Best of luck, and if you do find something that works PLEASE post it for the rest of us out here.

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S.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

My sons are 5 and 4, and both still wear diapers to bed. We have vinyl fitted sheets to protect the mattresses from leakage, which I recommend highly. http://www.bedwettingstore.com/Bedding/3g_fitted.html

We've decided NOT to make a deal out of it, and told our boys that any time they want to try they can. They do sometimes, but so far not effectively.

Here's why: I wet the bed until I was 10. It was a HUGE source of stress for me, and there wasn't anything I could do. My parents took me to the doctor; he recommend some usual and not-so-usual things: no water before bed being the most common. I was also to hold my pee during the day as long as I could, then start-and-stop when I finally did go, to help my muscles. Didn't seem to help.

What DID help was a machine similar to the one you're thinking of, though since it was 30+ years ago I'm sure they've improved it. It set off a buzzer when I went pee.

At first my mom would wake me when the buzzer went off, because the buzzer didn't wake me at all. We'd clean me up and I'd go back to bed. Eventually I started waking with the buzzer, sooner and sooner. Then I started waking as I was peeing and finally just before.

I'm a very light sleeper to this day. But I think I would have been anyway. Everything I've read simply says that some bladders aren't mature enough, and some children sleep too soundly. Both are things they'll grow out of. It's why I've decided not to make any kind of deal with it for my boys.

Buy the stuff to protect the mattress and don't worry about it. If you want to try the machine I recommend it highly, if sometime later, when your child is a little more mature. It did work for me.

So much good luck to you!

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J.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you, but am curious to see what others do! I'm having the same problem with my daughter. She's 3 1/2 and is back in pullups at night. She went for a few weeks in panties and did great. Then started wetting her bed at night. After changing her bed for a week straight in the middle of the night, I put her back in pullups. 80% of the time she wakes up with a dry pullup, but if I put her in panties, she wets the bed! I think it will get better as time passes, so not dwelling on it too much. But it sure is frustrating! Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

C.,
I know what your going through. Try googling the "Potty Pager". It worked miracles for us. You will have about 2 weeks to 2 months of training period, but it is so worth it and not only that, but she can wear a pull up over her undies during the training period and that takes away the tons of laundry you will be doing. The way it works is a complete mystery to me. All I can tell you is that we tried everything for our son and he was such a heavy sleeper that nothing in the world would wake him up. This pager did the trick. Granted, he hated it for about two weeks, but after that he never had another accident ever. I looked it up online and we talked about it together since he was really frustrated about being too embarrassed to go to sleepovers because of his pull ups. There were many a time that he was invited and sadly would say no. It broke my heart and really bothered him. This alone was incentive enough for him to give it a try - so each time the training process got difficult I would just remind him to keep his goal in mind.
I think it runs about $60 or so and way easier to clean than those pads on the bed. Good luck to you. Email me if you have any questions.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you need to quit stressing about it. Let her have her pullups back. All kids are different. And, some just can't help it. And, some will wet the bed for years. "Millions of kids and teenagers from every part of the world wet the bed every single night."

My oldest rarely wet the bed. My youngest never wet the bed. But, my son wet the bed pretty regularly through elementary school. and then infrequently thru jr hi. He's in high school now, and still occassionally wets the bed. They can't help it. Some kids even take meds, although we never did. Talk to your doctor. Google it. It's not a big deal. Good luck.

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T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter is 5 yrs and 3 months and still in a night time pull up. I'm choosing not to sweat it and be patient.

Most of the nights she pees in it. Rarely it's empty. If she is thirsty before bed, I am not going to deny her water. That's just me.

Her 9 yr old brother got out of night time pullups at 5? I can't remember. He has not had one night time accident.

He didn't want to sit on the potty to poop for a long time and I would give him a diaper until he was about 4. Slowwwwly, (I do not believe in threats or punishment) I waited till I knew he was ready and conveniently "forgot" a diaper at a store. He had to go... after that, I just kept forgetting the diaper and he slowly got used to it.

I'm with the others here who say, don't sweat it. You do not need to try that hard. For who? Her? Pushing this now is just going to stress both of you out.

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think the key is limiting the water at night. Make it so she can't serve herself water by locking the fridge dispenser or whatever you have to do. If she needs extra fluid because of a tendency towards constipation then closely monitor it during the day to make sure she's getting enough. And ALWAYS send her to the potty right before bed. And talk to your pediatrician. If he thinks i'ts normal, then maybe go back to the pull ups for now. You see night time underpants for kids in really large sizes at the store, so this must not be that uncommon. You don't need to be washing bedding everyday, and she doesn't need that shame and embarrassment.

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S.W.

answers from San Diego on

I have had a child who did not spontaneously stop wetting at night. We have seen specialists at Children's (you are no where near that since your child is still well within normal), and what we learned is that constipation is very much tied to bedwetting. The suggestions were to drink a lot all day, add tons of fiber (we also added Miralax) to flush out intestines. If intestines are too full, then there is not enough room for the bladder to fill up completely at night, and hold it. Bedwetters are also typically deep sleepers who do not feel the urge to pee, and there is also a hormone that is secreted that concentrates pee, and this is sometimes low for these kids, so they have more pee at night. You should limit liquids (explain this to her that it will help the dry nights-- but drinking all day has them hydrated and less need to drink). another issue is that kids who are constipated don't empty their bladder during the day well so their bladders don't relax, until they are in a deep sleep. I have a boy, so the exercises may be a little different for girls, but he was told to blow bubbles or just blow while peeing, since they can't clench muscles while blowing, and this helps empty the bladder fully. It was amazing to learn how much goes into dry nights! You could probably call Children's Voiding Dysfunction Clinic and get some handouts and websites to check out, and you will be following sound advice. It is also genetic, so there is probably a childhood bedwetter in you family!
Good luck!

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K.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have tried the alarms with 2 of my kids but didn't have a lot of success with it. I just kept them in pull ups at night and eventually they started going more nights with out wetting, but they were almost 9 before they completely stopped. I eventually switched to a waterproof mattress pad. Some kids just sleeep so deeply and just can't wake themselves up. Its more common then you think. My friends son was almost 11 but didn't wet very often.

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M.K.

answers from San Diego on

I agree with all of the the others who suggest not stressing about it. Myt 4-year old has been potty trained for over two years, but is wet every morning and sometimes after a nap with a deep sleep. It's clearly developmental in her case and most likely with your daughter too.

While my daughter has been potty trained for a long time, she has been slow to get strong bladder control muscles. She sometimes "leaks" if her bladder gets too full before she goes to the bathroom.

I'd wait until you start to have more dry nights than not before tackling any of the wake-up techniques.

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R.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

C.,

I was bed wetter, as was my sister, so I had a lot of patience for both my kids who were. If it such a struggle it probably is that her body is not ready to keep night-dry, it's not a choice it is a physical thing. Talk with her doctor. Go back into the Mamasource archives there is a lot of advice that is good. I like the homeopathic bed wetting pills and waiting until their bodies are ready method.

Good Luck!

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A.G.

answers from San Diego on

I don't have any answers for you - but I am dealing with the same problem, at age 5-3/4! Please moms, let me know what has worked for you!

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