Need Help with Getting 9 Month Old to Sleep

you know, I have no idea because i've never been through the sleep troubles yet...but good luck! hope you find a solution

I'd definitely not do the video. Not only does the American Academy of Pediatrics not recommend TV for babies under age 2 (affects brain development) but it will stimulate her right when you want her to go to sleep.

To me it sounds like what she wants is for you to lay down with her. She doesn't want to sleep without mommy.

Unfortunately, this leaves you with two choices. You continue to lay down with her and co-sleep, or you stop doing that which means you'll probably have to go through some crying as she learns to self-soothe and go to sleep without you beside her. Yes, co-sleeping is much more accepted these days, but speaking personally, I would go crazy if I had to lay down with my baby for all his naps and for him to go to sleep at night. I need the time!

If you do want her to be able to self-soothe and put herself to sleep, there are various methods for doing this, but I don't think any of them will be tear-free. For example, the Ferber method where you put her down in her crib and leave the room, then when she cries, go back and reassure her at increasing time increments (e.g., wait 1 minute, go in, wait 3 minutes, go in, wait 5 minutes, go in, etc.) You could look it up online. However, you just go in and talk to her briefly in a soothing voice and leave, you don't pick her up.

Another method is you start by putting a chair beside her crib the first two days (which you sit in) and maybe even pat her back every couple of minutes to reassure you, but again, you don't pick her up, and you let her cry. In two days, you move your chair half-way across the room, then two days later to the doorway, then the hallway, then you just shut the door after that. The thought here is that when you start this process, she can see you are right there, you know she is okay (you're in the room with her!) Some people even recommend listening to an iPod or something so you're not so caught up in the crying. In any case, you gradually move yourself away over a few days but you don't just go to straight "cry it out."

You might need to see what works for you. For me, if I was in the room at all, my son would simply cry harder because he could see me but I wasn't holding him, so it ended up being much easier to just leave (he'd cry hard for a minute or two, then settle down).

A great book is Good Night, Sleep Tight.

Good luck!

Lots of good suggestions so far. One more thought... if you want to continue cosleeping (which as many have said is one perfectly fine method of sleep), is there room in her room for a mattress on the floor so you can get her to sleep with you in her room? Then she can still feel comforted with you, but in her room - then the idea of being in there alone won't be so foreign. Finally, I think the TV habit will be harder to break later than now. So I agree with the person who said, try music - my kids loved it. Good luck & enjoy - they grow so FAST!

Hey, K..
It might have nothing to do with the video, but the satisfaction of sleeping in your room. Most of our children preferred going to sleep in our bed, and then we'd move them (even for toddlers). I think that's a kind way of letting them fall asleep. It's nice you can move her afterward!
A.
www.breastandbottlefeeding.com

I would say a gradual approach would be best. Like you said put her video on in her room to help her get used to sleeping there. You might also want to put some soft toys or something in her crib to make it friendly. I know one thing my daughter has loved is the fisher price Goodnight fish tank. It's a crib toy that hooks onto the crib bars. It plays soft music and has soft lights with fish that swim in the water. plus it has a big large button right in front so your baby can turn it on whenever she wakes up. It really helped my daughter to like her crib and made it easier for her to fall back asleep if she woke during the night.

Hi K.,
You could always try the "cry it out method." Leave her in there and let her cry, but comfort her without picking her up. Get her to lay down and rub her back or pat her bottom whatever is comforting to her. Just don't pick her up. After a while you could try leaving the room, let her cry for a bit to see if she can soothe herself. If you go back in there continue to comfort her without picking her up. Does she have a pacifier or a favorite blanket or animal that is comforting to her? Both my daughters love to fall asleep with their blankets and to a music box. It's a fisher price musical star, it plays two different lullaby songs for 5, 10 or 15 mins. and it also projects lights on the wall or ceiling, both my daughters love this, you can find it at walmart in the baby section.

Some first time parents have a hard time with the cry it out method, cause no one likes to hear their baby cry! But if she's fed and has a clean diaper and is safe in her crib then you aren't doing anything wrong! She will eventually get the picture, that is where she needs to sleep, that she's safe and by you standing there comforting her she knows your not doing it to be mean. The hardest part is that it may take a few nights for her to adjust, which can be very h*** o* you!

Personally I wouldn't put the TV in her bedroom just yet cause that can be the start of a bad habit. I would recommend the music first! You can get a small CD player and a lullaby CD and let it repeat play until she falls asleep. It has been said the the music can be very stimulating to the brain also.

Anyway good luck! It will get better eventually it's all about trial and error. But together you'll find the solution!! ;0)

It seems that TV is the answer but I assure you it is you she wants. Co sleeping is very accepted today and is not harmful to the child to know he or she is loved. She will let you know when she is ready to be alone, but for now as long as you can, let her be with you as she sleeps.

I am wondering if you swaddle your baby? What I mean is do you wrap her up tight to go to sleep. I swaddled both my boys and they did very well sleeping. It gives the babies comfort while sleeping. I would suggest tyring this when you put your little one down for naps or at night time. Me personally wouldn't start putting TV's on when tyring to go to sleep because then she will always need that in the future. You could possible get one of the baby sooting toys that is like an aquarium to have her go to sleep to. But I would really try the swaddling. Good Luck! Happy Holidays to you!!

It is commonly said: You can't spoil a baby under a year old. She's letting you know what she needs; she's not trying to manipulate you. She's really not capable of that kind of thinking.

Really great sleep book: 'Good Night, Sleep Tight' by Kim West and Joanne Kenen. (www.sleeplady.com) A lot of people also have had great luck with 'The No-Cry Sleep Solution' by Elizabeth Pantley... that one didn't work as well for us as the first one did.

You can help her learn to get herself to sleep, in her room, without making her cry it out. Honestly. She may fuss & cry a bit, but you can pick her up and soothe her and help her settle down. I can almost guarantee it'll work.

Your post made me wonder: Does she spend any other time in her bedroom? If not, you might try to make sure she has some good, positive associations with that room. Go in during the day & read stories or play so she starts to feel happy in that room. If she only cries when you take her in at night, then nevermind. ;)

Best of luck!

Hi K.,
My first bit of advice would be to totally do away with the t.v/video thing. My husband has a step-sister who has allowed t.v/videos in their sons rooms and now at 7 and 9 the three of them still can't go to sleep without the video going. Television, video's, computers etc are stimulants. They are intended to keep your mind busy long after the body shuts down. We would go as far as believing they can also cause ADD/ADHD. I'd also suggest you don't allow her to sleep in your bed. All of these bad habits will stick with your little girl long after she's no longer little. She needs to know that her Momma and Daddy are in charge and setting the rules of the home. Your little girl will adjust just fine once you guys decide on what you will do and stick to it. Being consistent is the primary name of the game. I would return her to her bed and allow her to cry things out. If you can't bear the noise after a very long time (up to an hour)I would recommend rocking her or sitting with her in her room singing quietly. I think you'll get her back on track with a schedule. She discovered she could watch videos and crawl into Mom and Dad's bed and get away with it by crying. You'll need to break that habit first then start over with one that works for all three of you. Take charge and please, please, please give up the videos. Merry Christmas, L.

I would not put a tv in her room. I would think that it would just get her used to it and then she will continue to not be able to put herself to sleep. I have a sure fire method that works great. Put her in her crib while she is awake. If she cries go in and pick her up and tell her you love her and good night and put her back down and leave. Then wait 5 minutes, if she is still crying go in and do the same thing. Repeat this (only wait 10 mis the next time) until she goes to sleep. I read in a book that one parent went in like 100 times the first night. It may take several nights of doing it but it works. I only had to go in about 10 times the first night and 5 the next. It will make for some long nights for you but so worth it in the end.

My boys, 2 years and 3 months go to bed awake everynight without a fuss and sleep all night. Rested kids and happy kids and I have found that kids that can sooth themselves without a tv/radio/binkie are easier when traveling or with sitters too! (Dont get me wrong, I am not against tv...my two year old would watch it all day if I let him)

Good luck!!

Remove the t.v. from her sleep routine. Studies have shown that t.v. viewing causes activity in the brain that actually makes meaningful sleep harder, both for kids and adults. This is something you want to nip in the bud. And you should probably stop cold turkey (and I'm not a big proponent of cold turkey with babies). Definitely do not put a t.v. in her room. Kids should never have a t.v. in their room! (And honestly, adults should avoid it too). It's more important for her to learn to sleep w/o the t.v. that w/o you. You can gradually move her into her bed when she's less and less asleep, once she gets used to no t.v. to fall asleep.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not a no t.v. kind of mom. My kids and I watch plenty of t.v. and videos and games. But it needs to go off half an hour before bedtime, so their brains can settle down to good sleep.

I am struck by one thing - TV already? Wow. I am sort of stunned by that. Not that it is bad - that is not what I mean, I am just totally surprised she notices or cares that a TV let alone "her" video - as if she has a favorite? Hmmm.
I have read a lot about sleep - I have a 12 month old boy - and everythign I read says that they want less if they get less, so give them more. They say that if you put them to be too late they are suffering from sleep deprivation but it will manifest itself in that they don't want to go to sleep.
My tactic has been to invest in the BEST bedding I can possibly find, because that is what I like too. So, my baby has an expensive mattress, organic cotton sheets, organic cotton pajamas, wool sleeper when he needs it, and a Little Giraffe blanket (http://www.littlegiraffe.com/) that he adores. He also has 2 Robbie Adrian organic cotton blankets trimmed in silk. If you can afford to buy a TV for her room, I am guessing you can afford an excellent blanket. I am super fussy about sleeping on polyester blend sheets - I hate them... and same with the pajamas. Not that my baby is the same, but I didnt' want to take any chances. The bedding lasts a VERY long time, so I wasnt' worried about the investment.
In short, my suggestion is to make her crib an oasis of comfort that she loves. I am sure I break rules by using blankets...
It's definitely good to have a routine, but it doesn't have to be long or complex. I sing the same song every night, and usually read books, but not always. I do always change his diaper and wrap him in his 2 favorite blankets to rock him to sleep. He gets excited at the blanket stage - he knows it's bed time.
You might also try sitting in her room in the dark. Be observant about what you see and smell and feel. Are there any lights in there keeping her awake? Does she need a nightlight? Are there noises in there you aren't aware of?
Could be any number of things. You can look up the number of hours of sleep she should be getting though - I think it's at least 11 hours at night and 3 during the day. maybe more.
Good luck!!

Also, I did co-sleeping too - I totally believe in that, and we naturally weaned at 6 months from that process.

Also, too late for swaddling - I think you need to stop swaddling at 3-4 months for proper hip and arm development - they need to move.