Need Help with a Acting Out 3 Year Old!!!

Updated on May 08, 2007
H.G. asks from Lehigh Acres, FL
9 answers

my daughter is now three and she acts out with everything bath time, eating, sleeping and play time! i try to do thing with her to keep her busy and nothing works shes to the point were she doesnt want to do anything with me at all i try taking her outside she doesnt want to play i try letting her garden she doesnt want 2 do that i try reading with her and again no coloring again no i think you got the point. but all she wants to do is watch the same movies over and over again and if i try to shut them off it's a all out war in my house shell run from room to room trying to watch something and her attitude is driving me crazy i need some advice some help something and not to mention I'm the only one in the house with four adults that tells her no and dose the discipling. so any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!

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So What Happened?

thank you everyone for the responses!! I've gotten rid of the TV almost completely and I've gotten her to do so many more things with me the first day was hard but i got through it and now she doing so much more. were now going out side everyday and she doing things that she did before it got so bad!! i guess i needed some reassurance on what to do! and since I've done this her attitude has gotten so much better! I'm actually enjoying her again!
thank you again to all the moms that helped and I'm so glad i have found mama source! and one mom suggested 1-2-3 Magic witch i have started and I've always done the 1-2-3 thing but this has improved the way i now do it and it has worked tremendesly i would recommend this book to anyone!

an update i have limited the tv watching and her attitude is getting better!!! it's amazing how the littlest things can make a hudge differance and the 1-2-3 thing has helped too it's great and everyday gets better i'm enjoying my baby again and thats the best feeling thank you everyone for your advice!!!!!

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J.G.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I have an idea for the bath time. My son hated them too but there are these crayon's that you can buy Crayola i think that color on the tile and also on her body and completly wash off. My son got such a kick out of being able to color on anything that he started asking me to take bath's, also there's body paint's too. I totally agree with the timeout situation per min per age. What i did with my son with the movie ordeal (because i had that problem too) was i started taking him to the local library every week and they have videos that you can take out , I let him pick whatever he wanted and he was able to use his very own library card so he felt like a big boy.. I started this when he was about 3 and he's 5 now and we still go to the library .. (If i could just get rid of his wizard of oz i'd be set)=)Good luck

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A.H.

answers from Fort Myers on

She's 3, your MOM. TURN THE TV OFF!!!! Get rid of it if you have to. Once she see's it's gone she will seek out other things to do. make sure she has access to the things you would like her to do, and be aval to her to do them with her. Around here the tv dosen't get turned on for most of the day. or unless mommy meeds some time, lol.

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T.V.

answers from Daytona Beach on

My daughter pulls this. I just put her in her room, let her cry scream whatever until she calms down. I threaten to take things away, like her karate lessons, playing with her friends or her favorite toys until she starts behaving.

Usually, after about 5 minutes, in her room of being completly ignored, she comes out and apoligizes. Then things are back on track.

I hope this helps and wish you good luck!

T.

Stayin Home and Lovin It!

http://www.mykids1st.biz

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

you're the mommy. no means no. unplug the tvs if you have to. there is plenty of time later in life for TV. She should be using that active imagination of hers w/ dolls or leggos or puzzles or crafts, etc...

give her a choice of 2 things, example: puzzle or coloring. she says "NO! T.v.!!" just keep repeating yourself w/ the 2 choices like a skip in a CD...remain calm...if she starts to throw a tantrum, remain calm & say "I see you're really upset. You want to watch TV. You're mad!" then tell her "it's OK to be angry! Just do it in your room" & put her in there until she calms down. This is hard at first but she's a smart girl- she'll soon figure out you mean business.

Magic 1-2-3 really is a great book also.

but as far as her ruling the household, just take a deep breath & repeat to yourself that YOU are the mommy! :-)

C.

answers from Daytona Beach on

How about taking the movie away for a few days to a week? Even keeping the tv off and hide the remote or put it up, eventually your daughter will have to find something else to keep herself busy. good luck

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V.

answers from Melbourne on

I think if things have gotten so bad that she doesn't want to do anything but watch TV, then you have to be strong, and tell her that she will not get to watch the tv at all until she does the other things that need to be done. Be specific as to what things you want her to do, and make it clear that if she doesn't then she will lose the privilidge of watching tv. I usually wouldn't say to completely remove something like that, but it sounds like the TV has completely taken over and may need to be removed for a long while so she can get into more normal healthy activities. If it gets to that point then turn off the tv and don't allow it on while she is awake, at all. Stay strong and don't change your mind, keep it off. Make it clear to her that if she can start doing other things that you feel she should be doing for a set time (that you decide on) only then will the TV be permited. Even after she gets TV privilidges back, only allow it on at certain times of day. Find out when a couple of her favorite programs are on and let her watch, then turn it off so she can do other things.

Buy the way, at that age wanting to watch the same things over and over is completely normal. Does she like being read to? Reading can be a greart activity to do with children. They usually like the same book read over and over also, that's ok the repitition is actually helpfull. Make sure when you read you keep it interesting, change your voice, use inflection, sound excited on exciting parts, and pick books about things she is interested in. You might even be able to get her interested in other related activities if you find books she likes that have some interesting activities or topics. If she wants to pretend to read also let her, that is really good for little ones.

I don't know if you have this option, but I added a channel called Baby First TV for a few dollars a month, and my kids love it. It is good for todlars and preschoolers. It has nothing offensive or bad for the kids, and it teaches them all sorts of things. The programing holds their attention, and puts lots of things that you can extend out further with other activities. It's also designed so you can interact with them while they watch. At the end of the night when it's late they put on a show with helpful parenting advice, then around 11 they put on sleepy music with soothing videos, it's supposed to be to help the kids sleep but it usually helps put me to sleep. Anyway, I really like it and so do my kids. If there were anything I wouldn't belly ache over them watching for hours it would be that. Still, get her doing other stuff as much as possible so she can start enjoying the world around her.

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L.P.

answers from Boca Raton on

I have a 3 year old too, he's pretty good, better than when he was 2 but he does act out at times. I use time-outs in his room. He hates it and comes out a better kid. When she throwing a fit over something just remove it, if she wants the tv and has an attitude over it, just turn it off and dont turn it on untis she is in bed. Have you tried the shower instead of the bath. My son loves to take a shower. I stand right there and watch him to make sure he washes himself. He asks for a shower every night after dinner. The bath crayons are great too! Maybe let her pick out her favorite bubble bath at the store.

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J.C.

answers from Daytona Beach on

I think some tv time is okay, but after that mine has to do other things. I think you will be okay. The first week is hell, but just like potty training, no more bottle, and all the other steps we go through, its just a faze. We have this rule that when Hannah's mommy and daddy want her off the tv, it is both of our jobs to enforce the rule and entertain her too. Let your hubby know that he helped make her so he has to shoulder some of that responsibility.

I take her on walks, to the parks, and even in her room to just get her out of the area of the tv. Maybe get her into a play group, so she can get out and play with other kids her own age. Or try swim lessons, it's almost summer, she can get excited about that.

I remember what my pop did, I was only allowed to watch educational things. Give her only the restriction of cooking or travel channel and she'll get bored. HAHA.

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K.F.

answers from Johnson City on

Hi H.
Well first thing is that since there is 3 other adults in the house besides you with her you need to sit down and talk with them and tell them that it is not going to work if you are the only one doing the disipline and telling her no..Everyone has to be on the same page where this is concerned..Otherwise you are never going to get anywhere..I had this problem with my son when he was about 3 and we started time outs where he had to sit in a certain place in time out for 1 min per age so if she's three then it would be 3 minutes and if he moved,got up or threw a fit while in time out he would get 1 min added onto it.The place was the same place everytime he got put in time out..Sometimes we would have to physically hold him down till he calmed down while sitting with him in time out but it helped with the fits..Try also asking her what she wants to do and then do it with her..My son is now almost 5 and still wants to watch the same movies over and over again..I just don't fight it because if that's what makes him happy then it's ok..Are the movies learning movies? What I do with my son is after he has watched a movie over and over again and won't watch something else I will tell him he needs to pick out something else to watch for awhile and usually he does without a fit..As far as bath time goes try getting some bath toys that she picks out at the store that she wants to play with in the bath make it into a game and fun time..As for eating make it intresting to her..Get her food in shapes at the store and get her food she can use her fingers to feed herself..Also I have found that the more colorful food is the better that my son would eat it at that age..Hope this helps!!
K.

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