Need Help Switching from Breast to Bottle Feeding

Updated on June 27, 2008
J.S. asks from Abingdon, MD
19 answers

I have a 4.5 month old that is breast fed. She takes a bottle just fine at her day car provider's. But, when she is with me in the evening, I can't get her to take a bottle. I want to supplement breast feeding with formula, to make sure I can keep up with her demand for food. I'm pretty sure it isn't an issue with formula versus breast milk. I have tried mixing formula with breast milk, I have also tried giving her 100% breast milk in a bottle. I think she expects and wants the breast when I am around. Any suggestions on how to get her to take a bottle? I thought I might try to leave the room and not make a sound and let my husband feed her a bottle for a few nights. But, I am at a loss and am getting concerned, in case I can't produce enough milk to sustain her through the night.

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So What Happened?

Update: Thank you to everyone for your thoughts. Just to clarify, I nurse my daughter whenever I am around, but was concerned that I might not be able to freeze enough breast milk for her to have at day care. I pump when I am at work, and I try to pump in between feedings when I am at home with my daughter (this isn't always possible). I will ask her day care provider to supplement her breast milk feedings each day with maybe one bottle of formula. I appreciate the wonderful suggestions and mostly peace of mind knowing that my daughter simply prefers me over the bottle. It's nice to know I am appreciated. :)

More Answers

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T.D.

answers from Washington DC on

J.,

I think you're right on both counts -- if you are around, she wants YOU, both to nurse, and to be close to.

I like the idea of having your husband try the bottle... if you're not around, she doesn't have the choice. But make no mistake, the little darling has learned to manipulate.

Be patient, and best of luck! The important thing is that she IS feeding and you find a routine that works for both of you.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

If I'm reading correctly, your concern is your ability to keep up with her needs when she is with you.

I had my daughter drinking formula at daycare, but at home, she nursed exclusively. What I learned is that the breasts adjust. I made less milk during the day, but I was apparently able to make what she needed when she was with me, even on weekends. It helps that the breasts make milk while they are nursing; so, she may need to nurse longer to get what she needs, but she'll get it.

On the other hand, if you start substituting with formula, she won't be giving you the stimulation you need to keep making what she needs, and you will indeed suffer supply issues.

They are smart little cookies. They can be quite happy to take a bottle from others, but they want the real deal from mom. The good news there is that it's a wonderful way to reconnect at the end of a long work day. It forces you to sit and relax, and reassures your little one.

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

J.,
In working with my clients after their births as a doula, I can give you some thoughts that might help.
I'm not sure if someone told you anything particular about your milk supply. Most moms have the ability to produce plenty of milk to keep their babies satisfied through the night. I nursed my son and gave only breast milk through age 2 with no formula. I did pump and use a bottle afer several months in addition to nursing. Wanting to only have the breast while you are in the room is also very common. It will help to have your husband feed for a bit to have her get used to the idea.
You can take advantage of the local La Leche League meetings throughout the area for support.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or want more info.
L.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Unless you have additional information to the contrary, you should be able to nurse her to meet her demands. Your supply will increaae with more frequent nursing. It can be deceptive because our breasts feel so much less full at night than in the morning, but odds are there is enough for her.

That being said, I do like to give my daughter a bottle occasionally for convenience. Sometimes, I'm out and just don't want to nurse in publis. Sometimes, like at the playground, we are both hot and tired, and it is easiest to sit her in the stroller and give her a cold bottle to cool her off and not have to get all sweaty holding her. So I think it is worthwhile trying it yourself occasionally, as long as it is not at the expense of your supply. I can usually get away with giving 2-3 bottles per week. But if I am doing it more frequently, then I definately pump.

I personally find it very awkward to give a bottle since it feels so different than nursing, so I imagine it feels the same way for her. Try to feed your baby in a very different position. I frequenly put my baby in her stroller and face her or sit her upright against my chest. So you might try a different position.

Also, I think that you could introduce a sippy cup. It might be a bit early, but she should be pretty competent with it by around 6 months.

My daughter is also four months old and is my second child. I learned the first time around, and am realizing this time to, that I often mistakenly think my child is hungry when the exact opposite is true. A breastfed baby often wants that non-nutritive sucking on the breast just to relax and is often annoyed if there is milk coming out. It comes across as fussing and hunger. Similarly, when babies teeth or have ear infections, it is the same. It is actually pain not hunger. So if your child is acting strange at the breast, it may be that she is NOT hungry, and that is why she is rejecting the bottle form you (or maybe just playing with it). She might actually want YOU but not the MILK.

So, please don't worry about your supply, unless you know for a fact you don't produce much. Babies are great regulators of their mom's production. If you do have supply issues, see a lactation consultant because they can work wonders, and they can actually measure how much of a feed they are getting in ounces. And finally look for cues that she may not be hungry. Try just rocking, giving a pacifier, or putting her down (some babies get overstimulated and just want to be in their cribs!)

Hope this helps.

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L.T.

answers from Lynchburg on

Why not just give her the breast when you're around? You can compromise by supplementing with formula while she's away from you. I don't know if you pump or not, but if you don't have her breastfeeding whenever you're around you're going to dramatically decrease your milk supply to the point that you may have to completely go to formula.

I'm saying these things not to be harsh, but because I've had 3 consultations with a lactation consultant myself and I've been warned about never using bottles when I'm with my baby (who will be 4 months in 5 days).

I seriously think you should give a lactation consultant a call. They're breastfeeding experts, and know more about it than even your child's pediatrician. They will be able to give you advice if you really want to do the formula supplementation. However, I'm truly wondering if that's really necessary. Breastfeeding works on a supply and demand basis, so the more you breastfeed, the more milk you produce. Therefore, the more bottles of formula you introduce the less likely you will keep up the amount of milk you're producing now.

One thing you can do, if you can't afford a sit-down consultation (although I'm sure they wouldn't mind giving you tips over the phone), is to bring her into their place of business and do a feeding "snapshot". This is where she's weighed before and after a feeding. It will let you know precisely how much milk she's getting during a feeding.

Good luck!

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It is unlikely that you would be unable to produce enough milk for her especially if you nurse her when you are with her. Your daughter is telling you I will take substitutes for the good stuff if you are not around but I want the best when you are here. why not give it to her when you can instead of making her drink any more formula than you absolutely have to.

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M.L.

answers from Washington DC on

J.,

You will not be able to produce enough milk for your baby if you aren't b-feeding her. It's a supply-and-demand thing--if there's no demand, your body stops producing.

Why switch to bottle? Baby loves the closeness to Mommy, and b-milk has so many health benefits! 4.5 months is really young to start detaching baby from Mommy by way of bottles. For baby's feeling of security, keep her on the breast as long as you can! It will help your milk production, too!

Good luck.
M.

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B.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi J.,

Breastfeeding is an amazing thing. Our breasts adjust to whatever the demand is. There is no reason your daughter would need to take a bottle from you. She will get what she needs. It might take a week or so for your body to adjust to the need, but once it does the production should be just what is needed. I worked full time with my son. He wouldn't take a bottle ot all he just adjusted his need. He would nurse in the morning before I went to work and then he would nurse several times in the evening when I was home. On the week-end he would nurse all day. I have even heard of babies just nursing on the week-end.

Good Luck to you.
B.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi J.,
To avoid confusion on where the food is coming from I suggest that once you switch to feeding from bottles, only feed from a bottle. Try putting some breastmilk into a bottle and then have your husband feed her. This may take a few feedings, but once she tastes that what she gets from the bottle tastes the same as from you, she should be ok with it. When it comes time for you to feed her a bottle, place a blanket between you so that she stays focussed on the bottle.
Once she is comfortable taking the breastmilk from a bottle, then you shouldn't have any problems adding formula when needed.
M.

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F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

You're totally right, she can smell you and wants the breast over a bottle nows that she's used to it. It's warm and cozy and mom. My best suggestion is nurse when you can, if she's not getting enough you'll know and you can maintain a single nurse if you do it every day, I did until my son was 18 months old, just nursing at night because he went to daycare. If you really want to switch to a bottle try having someone else give it to her in your home, husband, partner, mom/dad, friend whatever and you stay out of the room. Then after a couple of days, come into the room. This way she'll get used to the bottle in that environment, which for now is associated with the breast and eventually you'll be able to give her the bottle. Good luck!!

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M.R.

answers from Roanoke on

If you start feeding only from a bottle, your supply will indeed dwindle unless you go to great efforts to save it.

If you want to keep your supply up to her demand, then you'll need to nurse her more often, or wake her up to feed at night (or an hour or so before she'd normally wake)

Your supply depends on her demand.

I'm trying hard to understand why she can't have your breast when you are around.

I'm also at a loss as to why most people don't understand how this works.

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J.P.

answers from Norfolk on

Well, that is tough. I had to have my husband do the bottle thing at first for mine to get used to it. Once he got used to the bottle from him it was a little easier for me to do it. As for your supply, if you ask it should come. Your body will meet the demand of your child (in rare cases it does not). It usually takes around three days of increased demand for your body to adjust and produce more milk but it should. Still work on the bottle thing as you definately need a break once in a while!! Good luck and I hope this was a help!

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi J.,

Contact the La Leche League at:

www.lllusa.org/VA/WebTidewaterVA or 1-800-525-3243

Or contact a resource mother in your local health department

Good luck. Hope this helps. D.

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F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

Your body should adjust to the amount of breast milk that
your baby needs. The only bad thing about just breast feeding in the evenings is that you may have to feed the baby every 2 to 3 hours. I would just let your husband do it for a while and see how it works out.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

You can probably make enough milk for your daughter! Breasts are the most amazing regulatory organ in the body. I would suggest seeing a lactation consultant (perhaps free through your hospital) or contact La Leche League. Even if you do have to pay a couple hundred dollars for a private lactation consultant, it will be worth it because formula costs a fortune! The problem is, the more you feed her formula, the less milk you will produce, and then you actually WILL have a problem. I say nurse away, at least until six months. Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from Norfolk on

I would suggest pumping while nursing instead of trying to find times to pump in-between, the extra stimulation can help you produce more and although it's not as comfortable it helps guarantee continued milk supply.

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R.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Because I had to go back to work after only six weeks of being with my baby, I let my mom give Chritopher his first bottle. I read that it helps to avoid confusion if you let someone else bottle feed her. Let your husband do it. The only time I do not let him bottle feed him is during the night. If Christopher wakes up, I breastfeed him because if not I will have to pump. What is the point of both of us getting up.

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E.T.

answers from Washington DC on

The best way to have milk for her is to feed her at the breast. Breastmilk production is demand driven. If the baby doesn't suckle at the breast, your production will drop. The less she suckles the more it drops.

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Try not to worry about producing enough milk. Chances are you are producing a more than adequate supply and I totally understand wondering if you aren't producing enough milk or worrying about not being able to keep up with her needs. That is part of being a mom. I also worked full time when my son was an infant and my husband watched him in the daytime so I pumped at work and obviously he got a bottle in the day and I nursed at night. If occassionally he slept a long time I would pump to keep up my supply and freeze it. But he wouldn't take a bottle from me either. Only everyone else. I was told he can smell the milk on me and that's what he wanted. He took the bottle fine from Dad so I just always had my husband give him the bottle. If you have questions though call her pediatrician and they can give you things to watch for so that you can know for sure that she is getting enough to eat, which she probably is. But telling a new mom not to worry is like telling a hungry person not to eat:-) Good luck.

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