Hi, I am a mother of 2 sons ages 4 and 9. I married my high school sweetheart 17 years ago. A month ago, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me when I found 2 dvd's that he made of him and his lover doing the deed in porno fashion!! Yes, I am still in disbelief and shock to say the least. Also, these 2 dvd's were left on my husbands desk in his study where my 9 year old son plays his video games and he could have easily picked one up by mistake. The kids and I have moved into my parents house and I filed for divorce one week ago. I am seeking full custody with supervised visitation for my husband.
My question is... Does anyone have any advice about custody issues or any advise about the divorce process? We have a court date next week for a temporary order. Thanks.
Hi K.,
I do not really have any advice but I feel so terrible for you. I hope and pray you have a good support group. I will pray for you and your boys. My heart goes out to you!
God Bless You!
K.
You have so much ahead and I have been through the same thing. One of the best things I did for my boys was to make sure they did not have any weekday overnights during school. It is so disruptive for the kids to go back and forth but now and especially as they get older, it will be very difficult. Also, if you are in the OKC area, go with your boys to Calm Waters, group therapy for kids of divorce. Wait until the four year old is five and then attend. Great for you and for them! Don't share any of your problems with the kids as hard as that is and don't say bad things about their dad. They will figure all out on their own when they are older. Do not bring new men into their lives and try to spend every minute with them that you can. You will have time for a new life for you later! They are our lives right now. Make sure their teachers know what is happening as they can be great allies with the kids. Best of luck to you!
This is the worst story I've ever read on here. I am so sorry for you. I bet your seeing red at this point...I know I would be so hurt and angry. It was really stupid for him to just leave those DVD's laying around like that...use it to your advantage. I hope you kept them for evidence...nothing he said she said about those. That is solid proof.
Get a good lawyer. Divorce can be a simple process if he doesn't fight, it can take a year or more if he does. Just make sure you always go to court, never miss a single court date...you really get railroaded if you don't show up. (to your advantage if he doesn't show up, you get whatever you ask for.)
Ask for child support, and any property that you want, even alimony if you feel you need it. You built a life with this man over seventeen years and you shouldn't walk away with nothing. I don't believe in being unfair, until the cheating issue comes up...at that point I say take this asshat to the cleaners!
